Chapter Text
The first time Chan wakes up to the sight of Felix – his soulmate, he’d like to add – next to him in bed, he thinks his heart might just burst with how impossibly fond he is.
Felix looks like he always does in his sleep, ruffled and soft and warm, but something is different; so slightly off that Chan probably wouldn’t have caught it if he weren’t so enamored by the younger l these days.
Felix is glowing, so similar yet so different to the way he would around the other members. Even in his sleep, he carries a lightness with him that seems impossible to put out. Chan hopes that it’s not too foolish to attribute that to himself. More so, them, together. Finally.
They had talked more after the initial conversation, of course. They discussed the hurdles their careers would pose, and how they would have to hide their status as soulmates from almost everyone but the other members, at least until the group was older and more established within the industry. Soulmates were a fact of life, but the topic in the entertainment industry was taboo at best. A soulmate connection between two group members would surely cause an uproar that both Chan and Felix simply didn’t want to deal with.
Of course, the other members were the first to know. They didn’t make a grand announcement by any means, in fact, it was decidedly anticlimactic.
Chan had woken up, groggy and half-awake, unnerved by the dead silence of the dorm before remembering that the rest of the members had likely already left for their respective trips. He blindly fumbled for his phone on the nightstand next to him, mindful not to wake up Felix, who was curled up to his side, not unlike a koala.
Stray Kids [8]
Bang Chanathan: So Lix and I discovered that we’re soulmates last night
soonieluvr: duh
meongmeong: duh
quokka: duh
baguette: duh
jutdwaekki: duh
hyun.e: duh
Well okay then. That was easier than he’d anticipated.
Chan drags a hand over his face, deciding that he should probably get himself out of bed if he’s hoping to have a somewhat productive day ahead of him.
Careful not to wake Felix beside him, Chan wiggles himself out of bed and down the ladder. Thank god Felix chose the wall side last night.
The blonde shifts slightly in his sleep but doesn’t wake, which Chan considers a victory. Felix isn’t a particularly light sleeper but he seems to have a sixth sense for when Chan isn’t next to him. Soulmate things, Chan can guess. Not to brag, of course. But also hey world, his soulmate is Lee fucking Felix.
Anyway.
Chan half stumbles into the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes even though he’s gotten more sleep in the last week than he has in the last month thanks to Felix. He’s been dragging Chan to bed progressively earlier every day it seems, but Chan can’t even complain considering how exhausted Felix looks these days. He clearly needs it, and if Chan’s presence offers him any comfort at all, he’s willing to push down the well of anxiety that rises in his chest when he’s not working in his studio. It can wait.
By the time he gets his laptop set up on the coffee table Felix is already shuffling out of their room, ruffled and dazed. He wordlessly plops himself down on the couch next to Chan and leans his head on the older’s shoulder.
They don’t speak for a whole, but they don’t have to. Chan types away at his keyboard while Felix drifts in and out of consciousness, occasionally shifting where he sits to glance down at what Chan is working on. It’s a mess of colorful bars that gives him a headache, so he just closes his eyes again.
Eventually, Chan shuts the laptop gently, pulling Felix out of his half-daze.
“What d’you wanna do today?” The older asks, shifting so they’re both laying back against the couch, Felix essentially draped across Chan’s side.
“Mmm, sleep,” Felix mumbles, and Chan has to hold back a fond coo, instead pressing a kiss to the top of the other’s head.
“Didn’t you want to check out that bakery that opened recently? We could go there for breakfast and then take a walk around the city.”
Felix perks up, suddenly awake. His eyes are shiny as he glances up at Chan, glinting despite the lack of decent light in their living room.
“Can we visit Namsan too?”
“Course we can,” Chan grins. Only then does he notice that he’s been absentmindedly running his hand through Felix’s hair, and the fact that he can just… do that now… it hits him like a freight train.
No more shying away after showing a bit too much affection to be considered friendly, or longing after something he can’t have. Chan can have this, and it means everything to him.
“C’mon,” Felix pokes him in the arm, snapping him out of his reverie, “Let’s go get dressed.”
—
Eventually, the others return from their week-long vacations, everything goes back to normal. Well, normal, with the addition that once in a while one of the members will catch Chan and Felix making out in their bedroom, to which the general response is “my eyes!” and a flurry of departing footsteps.
One time Changbin ran face-first into the door, but y’know, statistical outliers.
Everything is great, except for one teeny tiny thing; Felix has been on the brink of collapse from exhaustion for days now.
It had started a while ago, weeks before their status as soulmates had been revealed, but it just seems to have been getting worse and worse, and nobody is quite sure what to do.
Felix still has to follow schedules with everyone else, albeit with many, many naps slotted in between. He’s come to Chan before, lamenting how useless it makes him feel, but the others have been nothing but supportive and helpful, even if it means having a fully grown adult fall asleep on them every other day.
Things come to a head one day in the practice room.
The choreography for the upcoming comeback is demanding, and each time they run it, Chan can feel the bone-deep exhausting settle further into the room, but nobody seems to be getting hit as hard as Felix. His steps, usually clean and smooth, are clumsy and Chan has watched him lose the beat more than once.
He’s worried.
The instructor finally calls for a break, and Chan watches Felix stumble over to his bag to grab his water bottle before effectively dropping to the ground like a stone.
He’s so caught up in his worry for the younger that he doesn’t even realize that Minho is standing next to him until he taps Chan on the shoulder.
“Manager-hyung is scheduling him a doctor's appointment,” He informs Chan solemnly, “Said to take him home before he hurts himself.”
Chan sighs. He knows Felix doesn’t like doctor’s appointments – they make him anxious, and he still doesn’t completely understand all the words they toss around sometimes. It feels a bit deceitful to do it behind his back, but something clearly needs to be done. Chan hates it, but with Felix stubbornly refusing medical care, the others had to take it into their own hands.
“Hey, Lix,” He says gently, sitting down next to the younger. Felix rests his head on Chan’s shoulder and mumbles something unintelligible, going homeless where he sits against his boyfriend.
“We’re gonna get you home, okay?” Felix glances up at Chan at that, looking around at the others who definitely don’t look like they’re packing up to leave. What shocks Chan the most is that he doesn’t even argue, just nods weakly and lays his head back down on Chan’s shoulder. That’s not good.
Felix lets Chan pack up his things without protest, even lets him carry them down to the car that’s waiting for the both of them, knowing full well that Felix can’t walk back to the dorms like this.
Felix once again slumps against Chan when they pile into the car, and Chan would think of it as another one of his adorable habits had he not known the circumstances.
He wants to ask Felix some questions, try to reassure him, anything; but Felix is already asleep before Chan even opens his mouth.
—
“When did this feeling of exhaustion begin to occur?”
Felix shifts nervously in his seat, surrounded by the sterile white of the doctor’s office. Chan’s reassuring hand on his knee is the only thing grounding him from full-fledged panic.
“Um… about six weeks ago? A little before my birthday, I think.” He glances over to Chan, who gives him a reassuring smile in return, dimples prominent, and it does wonders in calming him down.
“You turned twenty then, correct?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Well,” The doctor furrows his eyebrows slightly as he scribbles something on his clipboard, “Cases like these are uncommon, but not unheard of. They’re generally due to a soulmate connection, and result in sudden, acute onset of certain ailments that the other soulmate already deals with.”
Felix considers that for a moment, but before any of the mental building blocks start to connect the doctor is already speaking again.
“I’m assuming you’re his soulmate?” The doctor gestures to Chan, who nods. “What are your sleeping patterns?”
“Uh– well–” Frankly, Chan didn’t expect to get put on the spot like that, let alone by a medical professional, but Felix was kind enough to answer for him.
“Awful,” He says shortly, giving Chan a side-eye, “maybe four hours a night if he’s lucky? I’ll catch him coming home at three am when we need to be up by six some days.”
The doctor nods sagely, and Chan huffs. He knows that nothing Felix said was wrong, but the call-out still burns a bit.
“And how long has this been occurring?”
Chan sighs. “Eight years or so?”
Seeing the doctor's eyes widen ever so slightly brings a small, twisted sense of satisfaction to him before he shuts it down. It may very well be affecting Felix now, from what the doctor had said. When it starts to affect his soulmate is when Chan draws the line.
“I see…” The doctor hums, “From what I can tell, your connection as soulmates is the catalyst here. When it formed on Mr. Lee’s birthday, any intense feelings you feel will have been transferred through the bond. It seems as though that despite the tolerance you’ve built up, he doesn’t have the same, and this is the result.”
Chan takes a moment to process the words before they click.
“Oh.”
“Mhm, so I highly recommend both of you get more rest – Mr. Bang in particular. It seems to be affecting you both severely, even if you’re used to its effects.” He finishes the thought eyeing Chan, “I’ll have you schedule a follow-up appointment a month from now to see if it’s had any positive effect.”
After that, it’s a bit of a blur before they’re back in the car, Felix back into standard position for the ride home.
“I’m sorry,” Chan murmurs, playing with Felix’s fingers in his lap absentmindedly, “It was irresponsible of me to think something like that wouldn’t affect you now that we’re… yeah.”
Felix sighs from beside him – one of his ‘my boyfriend is blaming himself for something he has no control over and I’m going to stop it’ sighs (the fact that Chan can tell them apart these days says a lot.)
“You had no way of knowing, Channie. This whole soulmate thing is one big trial and error, this one just happened to be one sucky error.” A mischievous grin dawns on his face, and he adds, “Besides, I’ve been trying to get you to sleep at a decent time for months now. Now you have to.”
Chan groans despite the younger’s giggles. What about his work? He’ll be losing so much time in the studio… but Felix is right. He doesn’t really have a choice. If he’s tired, Felix is tired, so he simply has to get more rest.
Oh, the horror.
“Fine,” Chan sighs good-naturedly, “but only because I love you.”
Felix grins through the ensuing yawn that overtakes him, and cuddles up to Chan even more. He’s not quite sure how the younger isn’t getting strangled by the seat belt, but who is he to complain about his cute boyfriend attached to his side?
Felix hums happily, “I love you too.”
—
Over the next few weeks, the mood in the dorm does an absolute 180°. Not only has Felix been looking better each and every day, Chan has been looking so much more like a person and not a pale, dimpled zombie that even Minho had expressed his shock.
“I’ve known him for years , and he’s never looked this well-rested. It’s been three weeks, Lix, you’re amazing.” Jisung had expressed his sentiments to his spiritual twin only nights before.
And it was true – Felix never realized how even just a few weeks of getting a solid eight hours of rest could make Chan flourish like a wilted flower exposed to rain.
He was even more productive, too, now that he wasn’t falling asleep at his keyboard every thirty minutes. He, Changbin, and Jisung spend more time than ever at the studio these days. Felix doesn’t mind it at all, of course. He knows his boyfriend will be back home by ten at the latest.
Of course, there are some slip-ups here and there, and the obligatory bouts of exhaustion that come and go (eight years of sleep deprivation doesn’t go away in a mere three weeks, unfortunately) but the fruits of their labors are undoubtedly worth it when the both of them start looking more alive again.
Even now, with Felix scrolling through his phone on the couch, Hyunjin’s head in his lap, he knows that Chan will be home soon enough. And soon he is – it doesn’t even take twenty minutes after the original thought for Chan to walk through the door, flanked by Changbin who promptly picks up a Hyunjin, sound asleep, from Felix’s lap and heads towards the dancer’s room.
“Hi baby,” Chan says, dropping his bag by the door and pressing a kiss to the crown of Felix’s head, “It’s getting pretty late, ready for bed?”
“Mhm, just messaging Stays goodnight,” Felix hums, standing up and promptly making grabby hands towards Chan.
“You’re the worst,” Chan bemoans, already picking him up bridal-style from where he stands.
“Absolutely awful.” Felix agrees.
Chan carries him into their shared room, mindful not to knock his boyfriend’s skull into any door frames.
Changbin is somehow already asleep when they reach their room (his ability to fall asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow will never not boggle Felix’s mind actually), so it means they have to be extra quiet in their attempt to get into the top bunk. Felix is pretty quiet. On the other hand, Chan… isn’t.
After a lot of bumping into things and barely muffled giggles, the pair face each other under the covers, Felix’s hands wrapped firmly around Chan’s waist. Their legs are tangled together in a way that they know is going to lead to some muscle cramps tomorrow morning, but it’s worth it. Being able to fall asleep so closely connected to your soulmate will always be worth it, at least to Chan.
He leans over slightly and lands a kiss on Felix’s forehead, “Thank you,” He says, hardly a whisper. Even with Changbin’s ever so lovely snores in the background, this moment feels precious, fragile.
“Of course, Channie,” Felix smiles, sweet as sugar, and neither of them have to voice what they're referring to. The fact that they found each other, that the universe was kind enough to let them be connected for the rest of their lives. For being each other’s crutch, before the whole soulmate debacle and for years to come after it.
They fall asleep like that, foreheads pressed together, breaths syncing as one. It’s all they could ever ask for.