Chapter Text
Twice has Tubbo mourned for a person still alive.
The first time he cried his heart out; it was his fault, he sent him away and now he’s dead. He cried of relief when it turned out he was alive.
The second time, he refused to accept it, wanting to live in complete denial. Tommy is fine, he always is. Tommy, his friend, brother, and soulmate had to be fine, he had to be.
By the time he saw Tommy, he couldn’t believe he was alive. He agonized over him, mourned for him, built a tiny memorial when he finally couldn’t pull wool over his eyes and accepted that Tommy was dead. His friend, brother, and soulmate was dead.
And yet Tommy is here, alive.
He hears himself screaming in his head, yelling at him to hug him, cry at him, anything. But no- he follows Tommy as his husband ushered him to their home, just silently staring at them.
Because to him, all he sees is a ghost.
‘He should be dead, Tommy should be dead’ He nearly vomits when the thought passes through his mind. What was he thinking?! He should be happy. His friend is back, his brother is back, his soulmate is back, so he should be happy right?
Of course, he’s happy! Why shouldn’t he be? But there’s something else there. There’s a stronger feeling overwhelming him, stronger than his happiness. Tubbo is scared.
Because he lost him once. He lost him twice already. How long will it take for him to lose Tommy again? Three times the charm, right? What if this is the last time? Tubbo doesn’t think his heart will take it if he loses his Tommy once more.
Tubbo blinks as the water boils. He pushed all of his thoughts aside, choosing to focus on making a hot drink for his dead friend. He shoves his feelings in a tiny box and throws it into the furthest corner of his brain, he has better things to do.
With a mug of hot chocolate in his hand, he heads up to the room Tommy was in. It was cold in Snowchester, a little warmth would do Tommy some good.
“Tommy?” He knocks on the door before opening it. The mug slips off his hand, and he thinks he’s burnt from where the drink has splashed against him. The room was empty, a window open, and mo Tommy to be found.
Tubbo wonders if he has to mourn for his friend a third time.
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Maybe walking through snow in nothing but his thin, full of holes, bloody shirt and no coat to even block the tiniest bit of cold was not Tommy’s smartest idea. But hey he did it once, he could do it again.
The cold of the Artic was nothing like that of the void. The void was cold, a permanent chill that settles in your bones, never leaving. The Artic was cold, its’ bites harsh and its’ wind whip up his already freezing body. Still, he moves forward, he has to find his proof.
Seconds, minutes, or hours could have passed, Tommy doesn’t know. Telling time while you’re dead is a struggle that he has, compared to his dead brother who seemed to know how long they’ve been there, down to the last second.
Finally, he spots it, a speck of pink in a sea of white snow. He’s back, he’s alive, oh thank Prime he’s alive.
He looks back and there’s Technoblade in all his glory, chopping down some wood. There; there is his proof. Because hell is only for dead people and- and Technoblade never dies right?
He bites his lips, for a moment he feels so certain of his proof but now… That is Technoblade, right? Tommy knows he’s fucked in the head, his stupid brain giving him hallucinations.
It was easier in the void, everything was complete darkness. Almost anything he would’ve seen would have been his head messing with him. A part of him dreads that this whole thing is just one big hallucination.
Tommy bites his lips… it wouldn’t hurt to check right? Just approach his estranged brother and just see if he’s an illusion right? It’s just- Tommy has to know, he just needs proof that he’s alive.
As quietly as he can manage, Tommy slowly approaches Technoblade. With every step he takes, the regret of doing this starts to pile up. What on earth am I doing?! He thinks to himself. Say he was alive, none of it would even fucking matter because Technoblade is gonna murder him the moment he sees him!
He watches Technoblade’s ear twitch, and it was too late to back out now. He blinks and the piglin hybrid turned around, an axe pointing at him.
“Why are you here Tommy?” He growls.
Tommy doesn’t answer. Technoblade, now facing him, has too many details on his face. He could see his scars and the weariness; if he was hallucinating there wouldn’t be many details, right? Still unsure, he moves closer to Technoblade with a hand reaching out, unfettered by the blade pointing at him.
Technoblade, who was very much unnerved by Tommy’s silence ( It was too much like those days of exile where he had to nurse his little brother back to health, it was too quiet ), stays put. He was confident in his skills if Tommy tries anything but for some reason, he thinks Tommy wouldn’t do anything.
He flinches when Tommy touches his hand. Freaks out when Tommy started sobbing the moment he does. He stands there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
Lmao I thought Tommy was dead?
Tommy’s dead crabrave
He’s not dead idiot
eeeee
Do something!
KILL HIM!
No! Help him
Oh my gosh we’re getting Bedrock bros content!
Chat was absolutely no help in this case. “Phil!” He shouts, his father was good with children, he’ll know what to do. In the meantime, he watches Tommy cry, the grip on his hand now deadly tight.
It was unnerving to see Tommy cry. He couldn’t even remember when was the last time he saw Tommy cried. Doomsday? No, all he had was anger and even that washed away to eerie blankness. Exile? No, he was scared and quiet but no tears. Pogtopia? No, at least he thinks so; Technoblade didn’t know how to deal with whatever insanity Wilbur had, so he left with excuses of war preparation.
He thinks that the last time he ever saw Tommy cry was when they were children, he tripped and started bawling until Wilbur consoled him.
“What is it ma- oh” Thank gods Phil was here, he doesn’t know how much more crying he can handle.
The two looked at each other in the eye, a conversation passing through them without words. Phil turns to the crying child “Tommy, mate, why don’t we head inside? It’s a lot warmer”
He tries to pry off Tommy’s hand but they just tightened even more. Technoblade looks at Phil for help, the older man just smiled in amusement.
He leads Tommy to the cabin, straight to the couch near the fireplace; the dumb child came to the Arctic with nothing but his ugly red and white shirt. He watches as the tension leaves Tommy’s body and he tries to shake off Tommy’s hand again but the child just wouldn’t let go. He growls and Tommy flinches but still, he doesn’t let go.
Phil smiles at the two, “Guess you’re stuck there, mate”
“Shut up old man”
The avian laughs, stopping when he reads and replies to a message in his communicator. “Ranboo asked if we saw Tommy- told him to come here. In the meantime, I’ll make us tea”
He groans, his eyes Tommy who finally stopped crying and was now dozing off. He tries to wiggle his hand off but the blonde just whines in his sheep and holds for his hand again.
Softblade
He’s not soft chat, he just can’t get out. A lie, Tommy looked like he hadn’t eaten in a week and Technoblade could probably fling him to a wall with no effort if he wanted to. But for now, he’ll be gracious and let Tommy hold his hand.
Either way, Ranboo was gonna be here and he’ll get rid of this annoying traitor once and for all.