Chapter Text
Chapter Six: Realization // Tattoo
It is during the last appointment to complete Sebastian’s intricate tattoo set that he realizes something very important about an already very special relationship.
Sam is sitting beside him, leaned over as he holds onto his hand tightly. Even though the two of them have been at this so many times before, each of the sessions long and tedious, Sam never faults in holding on tightly to him the entire time. Every once and a while, he stretches out his hand, but their palms never leave each other’s, and for that, Sebastian is more grateful than he ever really knows how to say.
He is laying back in the lengthy chair, his shirt and tank top both completely off, when somehow, the fluorescent lights catch on Sam differently. His best friend looks to him and gives him a reassuring smile, squeezes his hand again, and suddenly his heart is beating just a little bit faster, and his face is flushing.
It’s not he hasn’t known for years that he loves Sam in general. After all, the two of them are best friends, and they have been since they were both preteens in a small town with more family problems and trauma than they really cared to admit. Sebastian got him into Solarian Chronicles and Sam got him into music. The two of them made fun of those vapid popular people who thought they were so cool and bonded over time they spent unwinding. They were two sides to the iconic ASS trio with Abigail being their third, and unlike most trios, everything was equal and balanced within their group. Both of them, his best friends, stuck with him when he came out as trans, and Sam had been the one to travel with him to Zuzu to get top surgery over a year ago.
In these moments, though, Sebastian realizes that everything is different, though somehow still partially the same. He loves both of them with his whole heart- Sam and Abigail are as much his family as his mother- but he loves them differently.
He loves Abigail like a sister, but he doesn’t think about spending the night with her as often as he does Sam, especially in scenarios where there is only one bed. He doesn’t find himself watching her when she styles her hair, laughing and teasing her about the number of products that it takes to get it to all stay upright. He doesn’t see moments of time of her in the same way, like how Sam looks when he’s coming out of the ocean and his hair is a mess, or how he blinks slowly when he’s just waking up, or the way they fit against each other when they touch, almost like puzzle pieces.
No, he loves both of his best friends, but Sam is something more, too.
“Sebby?” Sam prompts, his fingers tapping gently against Sebastian’s own; he never can sit still for too long. “You okay, man?”
Sebastian looks at him again, with his beautiful blonde hair and gorgeous hazel eyes and his concerned, kind smile, and when his heart flutters, he resolves that he just might have to do something about this revelation. Not yet- not in the middle of a tattoo parlor when he’s sore and bound to be cranky and hungry by the time these final details are finished being inked- but soon. Honestly, it does scare him, but he’s also completely certain; everything just makes sense with Sam, more so than it ever could with any other.
He squeezes his best crush’s hand back. “Yeah…Yeah, I’m good.”