Chapter Text
jeongguk wakes up and turns over on his stomach, throwing an arm around yoongi’s waist. he groans a morning greeting and leans up to see yoongi’s face. “hi,” he says smiling a sleepy smile up at yoongi. yoongi rubs his eyes and smiles back slightly.
“can i kiss you?” jeongguk asks, yoongi chuckles and groans. “yes, you don’t have to ask you know. i told you you can do whatever you want for the week.”
“i should still ask, at least for now. it’s creepy to just do things at this point so i-” yoongi kisses him, soft and slow, just something to get his worrying to fade. yoongi tries hard not to smile into it but fails and jeongguk chuckles against his lips. they stay like that for a while. jeongguk’s hair tangling as he moves his head around to fix the angle he’s at. yoongi cups his cheek and rubs his thumb under jeongguk’s eye.
it’s hard for him to give in but he does, especially when jeongguk is this sweet. smiling against his lips and cuddling into yoongi’s chest. yoongi starts feeling sick thinking about how awful an idea he feels like this is and he turns away just slightly to tell jeongguk they should start getting ready soon. he whines and nudges his nose against yoongi’s, staring at him with puppy dog eyes.
yoongi moves to stand up and get dressed, trying desperately to drag himself away from this situation, he feels crazy. jeongguk grabs his arm before he can get out of the bed and pulls him down back into his space. yoongi hums, able to tell that jeongguk wants something, to say something or do something. jeongguk looks at him for a moment and opens his mouth, then closes it again. he lets go of yoongi’s arm and sighs, “nevermind, let’s get ready.”
yoongi supposes he could ignore this, he guesses it wasn’t anything insanely important otherwise jeongguk would have just said it, he’s not the type to hold something like that back. so, in his mind, he could ignore it and it would be fine, but that’s not what happens.
“hey,” yoongi moves to look at him in the eye, “tell me?” jeongguk bites at his lip.
“i love you,” yoongi closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, “i want to keep telling you that if it’s okay. that’s the whole point we’re doing this right? my little speech about how i want to show you that i love you? so can i tell you that, while we’re doing this?” yoongi swallows and nods, he huffs and doesn’t open his eyes before turning away from jeongguk.
“yes, you can remind me, whenever. don’t think i’ll indulge you enough to believe you yet, though.” jeongguk nods, “that’s okay,” he says softly, “i said a week didn’t i?”
yoongi has a hard time processing it when he does say it. he’ll stand there with his mouth open, knowing he can’t say it back. or he’ll shake his head and walk away because he’s too afraid to be around jeongguk too long after he says it. it’s just a little too much, not enough for him to tell jeongguk to stop but enough to overwhelm him a bit, just shock his system.
they go to practice before they hop out of the car and after their manager leaves, jeongguk leans over to kiss yoongi on the side of the mouth. taehyung asks why yoongi’s face is so red when their manager opens the door and yoongi only goes redder, along with jeongguk. jeongguk tries to be sneaky, taking advantage of the opportunity. yoongi bats at him and jeongguk giggles, “ cat-hyung” he whispers into yoongi’s ear while hoseok is giving them dance instructions with his back turned.
it’s only the first day and yoongi feels as if he may pass out every quarter hour either from embarrassment or confusion or whatever the fuck brand new emotion jeongguk is invoking in him. (not love, he notes.) but, before he knows it, they’re heading home and jeongguks shoes are by the door. they make dinner together, yoongi’s favorite because jeongguk is trying to woo him, obviously.
jeongguk wraps his arms around yoongi waist and tucks his head in the crook of his neck. yoongi turns red for the billionth time that day and sighs, relaxing into it. because he’s home, right. and he gets to enjoy this. he gets to be happy that jeongguk is treating him like this, regardless of if he believes he loves him or not. this is nice. yoongi decides that it’s nice.
they sit down to eat and the suggested videos on yoongi’s youtube are all their music videos, mixed with some other artists jeongguk recognizes that yoongi likes. and plenty of animal videos. yoongi lays down eventually, sinking into jeongguk’s arms as he falls asleep to a cat rescue video he had seen before. one of their music videos comes on from the autoplay, euphoria. yoongi hums tiredly.
“i like this song, did i ever tell you that?” yoongi asks. jeongguk nods, grinning.
“i haven’t watched the video since it came out i don’t think, though.” jeongguk nods again but his smile drops. “eh, it’s sorta sad.” yoongi hums.
“don’t i die?”
“ah, no.” jeongguk says, “i save you! i pull you out from the fire remember?”
yoongi opens his mouth wide in realization, yes, he remembers, he remembers jeongguk effortlessly pulling him from the bed. how pretty he had looked under the light of the fire, how jeongguk had given him a back hug to keep him warm while they were filming because yoongi was shaking in the cold.
“yeah, you pulled me from the bed,” jeongguk confirms and plays with yoongi’s hand.
when they go to bed they don’t sleep right away. both scroll away on their phones while jeongguk hums the i need u melody. jeongguk puts his phone on the bedside table and turns out his light, turning towards yoongi.
“you know, people think our characters are in love, have you ever seen that?” jeongguk asks looking down at his own hands. yoongi blinks, putting down his phone.
“what, the bu characters?” jeongguk nods and yoongi purses his lips.
“no, i’ve never seen that, why?” yoongi turns to jeongguk now and they face each other. jeongguk throws his leg on top of yoongi’s and yoongi holds back from flinching or shivering.
“hmm,” jeongguk hums and grabs at yoongi’s hands, “well, i seem to search after you a lot. in the highlight reel, i see the lighter with your initials on it and i remember you. and i save you. and you save me too once, from jumping off the building. we play the piano together. people just theorize because we care about each other so much that they assume we might love each other. i don’t think it’s too far out there…” he trails off mumbling something about how it’s not a crazy idea.
yoongi tries not to sigh, why does he have to talk in the first person, they’re characters, he thinks. yoongi nods and wraps his fingers around jeongguks wrist, turning his hand over so he can hold it properly. “makes sense, i remember them telling me that’s why i was so angry, you-- or, that universe you, he was in the hospital and i-” he hesitates using the first person, but understands that it’s easier to speak this way and gives up “i lashed out because of it.”
jeongguk scrunches his nose, “you’re a good actor.” yoongi blushes and jeongguk kisses him two times, once on the lips and once on the forehead. he pulls back and sniffs. “do you think they are? in love i mean?” jeongguk asks timidly, not looking at yoongi when he says it.
yoongi breathes in and opens his mouth, tilting his head, he makes a face and nods before speaking. “yeah, i think i care about you a lot. maybe more than myself. but at the same time, he seems to be a big asshole to you. i do. i guess it’s just an alternate universe, huh? where i care about you so much it makes me treat you like shit sometimes.” he chuckles dryly.
jeongguk frowns. “you don’t treat me like shit. here or there. you may be an asshole sometimes but that’s just human nature. i am too sometimes. it’s normal. it’s not like he was abusing him they were just-- sad and angry.” yoongi feels jeongguk start breathing heavily and places his hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him down.
“stop saying stuff like that, like you treat me badly. you don’t, you treat me better than anyone i’ve ever known. that’s why i-” he cuts himself off and exhales harshly. “you don’t want to understand still. you’re too stubborn to see how much you love me outwardly without you even knowing it. i could list every good thing you’ve done out of love for me and not for others and you’d call it a hyung thing and move along.” yoongi gulps and moves closer to jeongguk, grabbing his hand, he opens his mouth and jeongguk spits out a what before yoongi can even speak.
“did taehyung tell you everything i said about you when he asked me to describe you?” yoongi asks calmly, trying not to rile jeongguk up any more than he already seemingly had. jeongguk shakes his head “i don’t know what you’re talking about.” he says, his breath a little calmer than the minute before.
yoongi hums and he squints. “okay, i just- i’m not- i’m confused. i’ve never been in denial of loving you. it’s not that, why do you think i don’t think i love you, of course, i do.” yoongi shakes his head trying to understand the reasoning behind jeongguks supposed anger, as far as he can tell.
“that’s why you don’t want to be with me, you think you don’t love me properly, and you definitely think i don’t love you so the combination of those two things- you don’t think it would work out,” jeongguk says matter-of-factly. yoongi shakes his head and grunts, “okay yes, i think what you think your love for me is is actually a crush, you didn’t even have the chance to date. how on earth could you know the difference between your feelings being a crush and being love?” jeongguk scoffs and sits up.
“you think i’m that stupid? that i’d be leading you on telling you i loved you without knowing for a fact that i do? and i have dated! taehyung and i were together for like, almost a year! and i’ve been with a few girls too, i just kept it secret because i didn’t want any of you freaking out! i know my own feelings, thank you.” jeongguk plants his hands at his sides and looks away from yoongi who’s still laying down. yoongi sits up slowly. taehyung?
if jeongguk had been with taehyung and taehyung was trying to convince yoongi that jeongguk loved him then- “oh,” yoongi says out loud, “fuck.”
“okay,” yoongi says quietly, “um, i have some- some rethinking to do. i think.” jeongguk huffs.
“and why is that?” jeongguk asks in an irritated tone.
“well, taehyung, out of everyone, was the one trying to tell me that you did love me. i mean seokjin was as well, but they’re stuck together like damn glue. does seokjin know you were together?” jeongguk looks confused, but nods.
“ah,” yoongi runs his hand through his hair and tugs on the ends, “shit.” he flops down on the bed and groans. jeongguk stares at him very obviously confused still. yoongi looks back and apologizes, “i’m sorry. that’s not why i don’t- it’s not even that i don’t want to be with you because that sounds…” he trails off and sighs again sitting back up and grabbing jeongguks hands.
“it’s only been a day, and you’ve treated me wonderfully, but. but what happens if we fight, we break up and it ruins everything? how do we carry on being close and professional enough to not ruin bangtan? it seems impossible. there’s too much that can go wrong. don’t you feel like it’s a bad idea?” yoongi asks and jeongguk shakes his head instantly.
“no? you would never do anything to make me hate you so much that we wouldn’t be close or professional. look at me and taehyung, do we act unprofessionally? do we act like we aren’t close?” yoongi says no, that he noticed them being extra close but never anything that seemed negative or bad after they stopped being extra close.
“exactly, we talked it out and it was fine. you don’t think we could do that?”
“it’s not that, of course, we could talk. something horrible could happen, what if i do something horrible?”
“you really don’t trust yourself.”
“no.”
jeongguk sighs and leans over to hug yoongi. yoongi feels so guilty. too guilty when he hugs jeongguk back. “it’s fine,” jeongguk mumbles. he reads his mind, “don’t feel bad. if i can only love you like this, it’s fine as long as you know. my only goal is by the end of the week you at least believe me. just believe me.” yoongi pulls back and looks at jeongguk who is smiling at him goofily.
“i’ll try.”
jeongguk breathes into yoongi’s neck as he mumbles an i love you , jeongguk sleeps and yoongi doesn’t, again. he thinks about taehyung, how he and seokjin had pleaded him to just believe that jeongguk loved him, he looks down at jeongguk, who’s wearing his oversized hoodie, and blinks back tears.
when yoongi wakes up he realizes how late it is judging by the sun coming through the curtains, he panics a moment before realizing it’s their day off. he lays back down but notices immediately that jeongguk is missing. he decides he should stand up and look for the younger so he rolls out of the bed and walks into the kitchen only to find jeongguk covered in flour like out of a shitty romance montage, and a plate of burnt pancakes on the counter.
jeongguk smiles sheepishly and grabs the plate, tipping it toward the trash can and watching the pancakes fall into the bag. yoongi laughs and rubs at his eyes. he uses his foot to shove down his pajama pants that rolled up his leg in his sleep. “sorry,” jeongguk starts, “i thought i would make us breakfast, apparently i’m bad at multitasking.” he motions towards a plate of perfectly made bacon and another plate with two omelets on it beside it.
yoongi tells him it’s fine and pulls out napkins and forks to put them on the table. it’s raining, and even though yoongi could tell the day was partway through from the sun, it’s still dark out. yoongi opens a window and breathes in. jeongguk turns around and grins at him, “did i wake you up?” he asks. yoongi shakes his head and flops onto the chair closest to jeongguk in the kitchen.
“just woke up, not you.” jeongguk hums and pulls two large unburnt pancakes off the pan. he places them on the plate he had dumped into the trash before and then comes around the corner to put them on the table, he plants a kiss on yoongi’s forehead and dashes over to the other two plates to grab them. they eat in silence and spend their morning that way.
“you feel okay?” jeongguk asks quietly when they’re sitting watching another animal rescue show that yoongi smiles at occasionally but otherwise seems indifferent towards. yoongi startles slightly, but nods and sniffles.
“just an off day, feel weird, nothing horrible.” jeongguk frowns and scoots to look properly at yoongi. “anything i can do?” he asks with his puppy dog eyes that torture yoongi oh so much. yoongi says no. “should i leave? i know you like being alone.”
“no,” yoongi says resolutely, “you’re helping by being here. they’re usually worse.”
jeongguk smiles a bit at that, “well, tell me if i should leave, and i will, okay? whatever makes you feel better.”
yoongi blushes and sends a text after twenty-some minutes (plus a whole night) of thinking.
me
you were right
taehyung-ah
about? i always am tho
me
jeongguk
taehyung-ah
?
wym
what ab jk
WAIT.