Chapter Text
Rohan Kishibe did not wake up in his room that morning.
He looked outside.
Correction. Evening.
The man tried to sit up, but a dizzy spell hit him and caused him to fall back down. He tried to discern his whereabouts by what he could see instead. White walls, white sheets, an IV tube, a strong, sterile scent… Ah, he was in a hospital.
Rohan attempted to recall the events that led up to this point. The last thing he had remembered was Holly’s phone call, which reminded him to go and eat. He got up from his chair, walked to the kitchen, and all of a sudden dizziness overtook him and the floor was closer to his face than he remembered and was getting closer still before his head hit the floor, hard, and he blacked out before he could feel the pain of the impact. His hand reached for his forehead, feeling a tender bruise right in the middle of it instead of the yellow headband he wore earlier that day.
He suddenly heard a door open. Turning his head to the direction of the sound, he saw Holly enter the room, only realising he was awake after a few steps.
“Oh! You woke up!” Holly exclaimed, jogging towards him. “How do you feel? Do you need me to call a nurse?”
“I’m fine,” Rohan assured. “Just a little dizzy.”
“Do you want something to eat? I brought some pie from home. I was going to give it to you when visiting, but…” Their words trailed off, a painful expression on their face. Rohan wanted to say something to ease it, but he knew all he would do was make it worse.
“I’ll eat it,” he finally said.
Holly smiled, taking a pan of pie out of their bag. “It’s gone cold already, but I can microwave it in the kitchen area if you want. They have one here.”
“I’ll pass. I don’t mind it being cold.”
Holly had to help Rohan sit up, propping his back against the pillow. They cut a slice of pie and placed it on a plate, giving it to him. With a shaky hand, Rohan scooped a forkful of pie into his mouth, a familiar flavour filling his taste buds.
“Peaches.”
“Yeah. You liked peaches, so I thought I’d try to make some peach pie as an apology for leaving so suddenly.” Holly fixated their stare at the tips of their shoes, wriggling them anxiously. They stopped once they realized what they were doing, remembering every single time Rohan would tell them off for it because he found it distracting. If only he could tell them that there was nothing more he wanted to see now than Holly’s little mannerisms.
The two sat there in silence, having run out of small talk. It was incredibly awkward and painful for him, and he was sure it was even more so for them, but none of them knew what to do about it.. Instead of saying all the hundreds of regrets he wanted to express, Rohan continued to eat his slice of pie. Another regret appeared in the back of his mind as he did: it would’ve been much better if it were warm.
They were both saved by a knock on the door. “Rohan, it’s me!” a small voice greeted. “My mom saw you get dragged out of the house this afternoon. I didn’t think you’d end up at the hospital!”
“Koichi,” Rohan sighed in relief. “You came here alone?”
“Yeah, I had some free time and my mom told me to go visit, since we’re neighbours.” He bowed at Holly. “Thanks for taking care of Rohan.”
“Ah… Yeah, it’s no problem,” Holly smiled politely.
“We’ve broken up,” Rohan said bluntly. He hated acknowledging it, but it was better to be honest than to cause misunderstandings. Holly’s pained face, however, made him regret it a little.
“Oh.” Koichi scratched the back of his head, feeling a bit guilty and unsure what to say. “Uh… I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. It was fairly recent anyways,” Holly assured. “Have some pie, I’ll go grab a plate for you.”
Holly got up and out of the room, leaving the two neighbours alone. Once they closed the door, Koichi spoke up.
“When did you two break up?” he asked.
Rohan frowned at the question; that wasn’t really something he wanted to be reminded of. Still, he answered it in the most nonchalant way he could muster. “A few days ago.” It wasn’t perfect; his voice trembled as he said it, cracking at the end.
“Why did you break it off?”
“Oh, no, I didn’t break it off. They did.”
“ They did?!” Koichi exclaimed, surprised. “That’s… shocking.”
“You tell me.” Rohan leaned back and sighed. “Well, I’ve only ever dated them because they seemed like an interesting person, so it’s not a big deal.”
“Liar,” Koichi said, rolling his eyes. “Sure, maybe you didn’t date them out of love at first, but I can tell that you’re in love with them now. It’s literally in your eyes. I’ve known you long enough to read you, Rohan.”
Love?
Rohan wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was love. Sure, he held Holly in a higher regard than he did at the start of their relationship, but it wasn’t like they held the highest place in his mind. He wasn’t in any way, shape, or form constantly obsessing over them. His heart didn’t race nor did his mind feel fuzzy when he was in their presence, or when they held hands, or when they slept in the same bed. But he knew one thing - if he had to spend the rest of his life with one person, he would gladly spend it with them.
“...how…?” Rohan mumbled under his breath, placing the now empty plate on his lap.
“Huh?”
“How do I tell them I want them back?”
Koichi, taken aback, leaned back in his chair for a moment to think. “Hmm… Well, judging from the type of person you are, I bet they broke up with you because you were a cold person, right?”
Rohan begrudgingly nodded.
“Well, you just have to be honest with them, then.”
“That’s just called being tactless, Koichi.”
“What- No! I didn’t mean straight up tell them you want to get back! Of course that wouldn’t work! I meant the little things! Say they look good, tell them they have a good voice, thank them for the pie.” Koichi pointed at the pie as he said that last part.
Holly returned to the room before Rohan could get a word in response. “Sorry for the wait, Koichi!”
“No problem, I didn’t wait that long anyways!” Koichi assured. Holly cut him a slice of pie, taking a seat as the teenager started to eat. “Wow, this is really good!”
Holly beamed. “Thank you! I’m glad you like it! It was my first time making it, so I’m glad it turned out well.”
Another awkward silence filled the room, none of them knowing what to say next. Holly squeezed their hands together anxiously, glancing at every inch of the room, occasionally glancing at Rohan - or at least he thinks they did, since he only saw their face turn his way through the corner of his eye - before turning their gaze to Koichi or the window or the corner of the room.
Rohan cleared his throat, facing Holly. “Holly. Where have you been staying recently?”
“Huh? Oh, I’ve been staying at my aunt’s house.” They were surprised by the sudden question, but they didn’t seem to mind it, at least.
“Ah.” Rohan said. “You did mention that she lived near campus.”
“Yeah, it’s a bit closer too, so I have more time to slack off in the morning,” they joked, ending their sentence with a laugh. That laugh was betrayed by every other body language they displayed - their shoulders tensed up, and they squeezed their hands harder, clearly anxious. And yet, it was the same laugh that Holly always did around him. Rohan realises how little he had ever looked at Holly when they were dating.
‘That’s good. I’ve been making you do too much around the house,’ was what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Pride is an awful shackle, one that left his fingers red from holding onto it. Instead, he simply hummed in response, much to Koichi’s disapproval. “Have you been well?”
“It’s only been, like, three days,” they said. “I had a bit of an issue explaining to her, but it turned out alright, I guess.”
“That’s great!” Koichi responded, figuring Rohan wouldn’t do it himself. “Is it nice living with her?”
Holly nodded, their short hair bouncing as they did. “She’s quite close to me, so we get along, at least. We don’t see each other often because she’s out of the house most of the time, though, since she runs a couple restaurants in town.”
“The chicken place nearby, right?” Rohan pointed out. “We went there together once.” He saw Koichi give him a thumbs up, just out of Holly’s field of view.
“Ah, yeah, we did. It was pretty embarrassing, huh? I didn’t think her staff would tease us like that.” Holly scratched the back of their neck, replaying the day in their head. “You were uncomfortable about it, right? I don’t think I’ve ever apologized to you properly for that. I’m sorry.”
‘I should be the one apologizing.’ “It’s fine. It wasn’t that bad.”
Another round of silence.
Holly’s phone buzzed. “Oh, sorry. Give me a second,” they said, leaving the room to take the call. Once they shut the door, Koichi sighed in frustration.
“You’re terrible,” he said, putting down his now empty plate.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
“I guess.” Koichi pulled out his phone, replying to a few messages he had gotten. “You know, Rohan, I take it back. Maybe you really don’t love them.”
“What happened to being able to read me?” Rohan joked, much to Koichi’s dismay.
“Please forget about that.”
Rohan chuckled, leaning back into his headrest. “Koichi. You have a girlfriend, don’t you?”
Koichi looked up from his phone. “Yeah. Why?”
“What does it feel like to love her?”
Koichi nearly dropped his phone in surprise, blurting out a mash of unfinished words as he tried to process what Rohan had just asked him. “Wha- I, uh- It’s- Hold on, don’t ask me that so suddenly! That’s embarrassing!”
“Embarrassing. Got it.”
“No!” Koichi exclaimed, exasperated. “Uh, well, when I’m with her, I feel all fuzzy and warm inside, and when she smiles, it makes me smile too. And- and I just constantly want to talk to her and I miss her lots when she’s away, and I always want to know if she’s okay and it hurts to see her sad, and-”
“Alright, stop,” Rohan interrupted, cringing. He brushed his hair away from his face before saying, “You know what, Koichi? I don’t think you’re wrong, but I don’t think you’re right, either.”
Koichi looked at him, confused. “Huh? What do you-”
The door opened, interrupting him. Holly peeked in, saying, “Hey, I’ll be going home now. My aunt picked me up. She’s already in front of the building.”
“Alright, stay safe,” Koichi said, waving. Holly waved back at him, smiling, then at Rohan, at which their smile loosened a bit.
“Uh, get well soon, Rohan,” they said, about to close the door. “I’ll bring you some of your things here tomorrow.”
“Holly.”
Holly stopped just before they fully closed the door. They opened it again. “Yes?”
“Thanks for the pie. It was delicious.”
Rohan’s gratitude was clearly unexpected, Holly’s face tinted with red when the words reached them. “Ah, that’s… That’s no problem. I’m glad you like it, thank you,” they stammered, a genuine grin forming across their face. “I’ll be going now. Bye.” And with that, they closed the door.
Rohan glanced at Koichi.
Koichi gave him a thumbs up.
Rohan smiled, leaning back against the headrest once again. He closed his eyes, acknowledging the funny feeling in his chest when he saw Holly truly smile at him for the first time in weeks. “Scratch everything I’ve said about you being wrong, Koichi.”
“Huh?”
Rohan didn’t elaborate any further beyond an, “It really is fuzzy,” leaving the teenager confused.
Koichi shrugged, not pressing the matter any further. “Want another slice of pie, Rohan?”
“That’s mine, you know.”