Chapter Text
Cloud Recesses, October 31, 00:00am.
Lan Sizhui and Ouyang Zizhen tell Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi a Halloween Story:
Sizhui: "Once upon a time there was a Green Witch who lived in the forest."
Jin Ling: That's cliché.
Zizhen: The Green Witch was Chinese.
Jingyi: And since when does the witch's ethnicity make it stop being a cliché?
Sizhui: It's a Chinese witch who lives in a Nordic forest.
Jin Ling: Oh. Yeah, it's starting to get a little different… Go on.
Zizhen: The Green Witch was called Nie Huaisang.
Jingyi: Now that makes a lot of sense.
Sizhui: In the Green Witch's wood and stone house, a Purple Ghost lived. Lonely, sad, angry and who used to scare everyone away… well, that, at least, until he moved into the witch's house, since the Green Witch, bold as she was, had…
Zizhen: Had decided to marry the lonely Ghost.
Sizhui: Had what?!
Zizhen: When you said that the Ghost was purple, sad and angry and scared out everyone, I thought you were talking about Jin Ling's jiujiu, so he married the witch.
Jingyi: Why do you have to put romance in everything?!
Zizhen: Being romantic is one of my best qualities…
Jin Ling: I can't even complain about the conclusion that the Ghost is jiujiu. Go on.
Sizhui: Okay, so the Green Witch was married to the angry Purple Ghost. That he was no longer lonely and not so angry, given the circumstances of a good marriage. On the witch's rooftop lived her best friend the Necromancer.
Zizhen: That he was always drunk.
Sizhui: And how he doesn't fall off the rooftop even though he's always drunk was a mystery. Well, the Green Witch knew why, the witch always knew everything. Of course the witch pretended not to know anything because…
Zizhen: Because that way no one would be going to her house to disturb asking for potions and spells for this and that, she already lived in the forest because she wanted peace.
Jin Ling: Wait, is the Green Witch a boy or a girl?
Sizhui: It's a boy, obviously.
Zizhen: A boy in a dress, but he's still a boy. She is. Well, you got it.
Jingyi: I can totally see it happening…
Sizhui: So, the Green Witch lived in peace with her Ghost husband and her best friend on the rooftop and the Swamp Undead Community, which grew turnips and sold it on the roadside to raise funds…
Jin Ling: Why does an undead community need money?
Zizhen: For tomb upgrades.
Jingyi: I won't even dispute that.
Jin Ling: Who is part of the community anyway? It was very vague...
Sizhui: Ahm... The turnip seller, who is Ning-shushu... the brother of the Green Witch, who died with the poisoned apple that the other witch, an evil witch, gave him and... the Evil Witch, who died because of the Deceased came back to pull her foot.
Zizhen: Kind of was the neck and not the foot…
Sizhui: I'm trying to smooth things over here…
Zizhen: Oh, okay. So now that the Evil Witch is no longer a witch but an undead, she has made peace with the Deceased. And she married him.
Sizhui: Zizhen… is everyone going to get married in this story?
Zizhen: No, the ancient supreme Wizard who lives in the far mountain, Lan Qiren, is not getting married, no. Never.
Sizhui: Okay. So the Deceased Nie Mingjue and the Evil Witch Jin Guangyao made their peace in the not-so-dead-afterdeath and got married, and that money from the turnips went well to help with the wedding expenses. And so, peace reigned in the Dark Forest until one day… someone knocked on the door of the Green Witch's house, two brothers sought help because they had been cursed to change into werewolves when the full moon came.
Zizhen: It was the first time the Necromancer fell from the rooftop.
Jingyi: Why?
Zizhen: Because when he saw the brothers seeking the witch's help, it was love at first sight for the younger brother, so he fainted and fell off the rooftop right into the Second Werewolf's arms.
Jin Ling: I've given up on hoping for any “horror or terror” in this story, but keep it going.
Sizhui: This time, the Green Witch didn't really know how to help - not the Necromancer's possible marriage to the Second Werewolf - but to help undo the curse. The witch searched all her books, the oldest grimoires, but there was no cure for the curse. The two brothers were very sad, but the Second Werewolf soon resigned himself, now he was going to get married, so it was okay not to be human anymore, he could live on the rooftop with the Necromancer and everything would be fine - the Green Witch even agreed with that idea, despite the Ghost husband's grumbles.
Zizhen: But the older brother was very, very sad. He was a nice and calm person, being a werewolf didn't seem to work for him, so he went out for a walk in the woods, to unwind a little, as everyone in the Green Witch's house had already started arguing about having another tenant on the rooftop.
Sizhui: As the First Werewolf walked, tearful and so sad about his fate, he ended up tripping over a…
Zizhen: Over a basket. A basket full of mushrooms. Amanita Muscaria. The undead Evil Witch's favorite poisonous mushrooms.
Sizhui: Amanita Muscaria isn't exactly poisonous, it's just hallucinogenic, actually.
Zizhen: How do you know?
Sizhui: Jingyi woke me up one of these days at 3 am to tell me this. Ning-shushu said it's true, so it is.
Zizhen: Okay, so these are the favorite hallucinogenic mushrooms. The First Werewolf tripped over the basket and knocked over all the mushrooms the Evil Witch had picked, but before the Evil Witch yelled at him, she saw that he was crying.
Sizhui: Even though the witch's heart didn't beat anymore - and when it did, it wasn't a big deal either, right... The witch felt sorry for the First Werewolf, because he just looked like a fluffy ball of sadness, lost and hopeless there... So , the Evil Witch called the Deceased, her husband, to help...
Zizhen: They took the First Werewolf to the Swamp Undead Community, consoled him saying he didn't need to devour people, he could feed on turnips instead.
Sizhui: He was grateful and decided to live there with them.
Zizhen: And he became the Evil Witch's second husband too.
Jingyi: Why didn't he marry someone who was single?!
Sizhui: Because the Evil Witch was greedy and… you know how it is. On Halloween night, they all gathered in the forest glade to...
Zizhen: To finally celebrate the Necromancer's wedding to the Second Werewolf!
Sizhui: And from then on, they all lived happily ever after.
Jingyi: They can't all live happily ever after, because half of them are already dead.
Sizhui: Oh, you get it.
Jin Ling: I don't know which is more disappointing: the story itself or the fact that I actually enjoyed this crap…
The end.
…
But no.
…
Zizhen: Your turn now.
Jin Ling: How am I supposed to share my story with him ?
Jingyi: I’m willing to work with you to surpass their story, you know.
Jin Ling: Okay, but I have one condition.
Jingyi: Right, what is it?
Jin Ling: Jiujiu IS not a ghost in the background, just grumbling. He must be the protagonist.
Jingyi: Hm, it’s fair, since the Green Witch is already stuck in my head and I want another story with this character, so it makes sense for them to be protagonists.
Sizhui: I thought you were going to tell us something with Hanguang-jun as the protagonist…
Jingyi: I won’t share his perfect place under the spotlight with Jin Ling’s jiujiu.
Jin Ling: What?! Hold back your words!
Jingyi: Lol, no.
Zizhen: Sizhui… we won’t get a story, you know?
Sizhui: Why do you look so sad?
Zizhen: Because just the premise of them two sharing a story is already scary enough because no one ever knows what may come out of their minds…
Sizhui: Valid point. Hey, you guys, stop fighting over this, Halloween Night won’t last forever…
Jin Ling: Okay, I’ll beat him later. Jingyi, put your efforts into making this story far much better than theirs.
Jingyi: This is very easy.
Jin Ling: If you’re so convinced, you start then.
Jingyi: Perfectly. A-hem. Once upon a time…
“Once upon a time, in a small distant town, on the edge of snow-capped mountains and mossy forests, where three siblings lived who loved each other dearly and cared for each other, the older sister was the kindly Jiang Yanli, the middle brother he was the untamed Wei Wuxian and the younger brother was the dedicated Jiang Cheng. Together, the three took care of Lotus Cafe, a quiet place that served the best sweets. Life was peaceful and happy, it was still autumn and they were saving money for Yanli's wedding in the spring to come. But things went out of their way that fall, when…
Jin Ling: When Wei Wuxian started getting sick. At first, the siblings thought it was just a common flu because of the season, but strange things started happening all around. Voices began to rise in the air, even when the small Cafe was empty, figures began to come and go through the doors, dark and undefined shapes that appeared in the air, crying and moaning began to reach the siblings' ears, with a heavy feeling of sadness that oppressed the heart. The Jiang siblings were worried about the strange events and frightened by their adoptive brother's illness, until Wei Wuxian called them at the bedside and said: 'souls ask for help, but I don't know how to help them and that's why I'm sick .'
Jingyi: Yanli took pity on the sad souls, understanding that if they helped their brother, he could also help those poor souls. So she asked the younger brother: 'Go, go out and get help, there must be someone out there who knows about these things, but promise that you will be careful on your journey.'
Jin Ling: Jiang Cheng promised that he would come back well and that he would bring the answer to help his brother. He would never let anything bad happen to his family. So he gathered what he needed in a backpack and left the house, he would look everywhere. Though normally he wasn't someone who believed in rumors, he was soon reminded of what the townspeople used to say about the misty forest on the side of the highest mountain: There must have been a witch's house. But not only, other creatures, dangerous creatures, lived in that place. Shrewd, he thought that if supernatural events were taking place in his home, it certainly wasn't ordinary humans who would know what it was, but a witch, if she really existed. Fearless, he soon headed for that forest…
Jingyi: Turns out he was just an ordinary boy, there was nothing special or supernatural about him and…
Jin Ling: Hey! What do you mean “nothing special”?!
Jingyi: I agreed that he would be the protagonist, I never said he would be a big deal. And let me continue.
Jin Ling: No and…
Sizhui and Zizhen: Shhh.
Jin Ling: Aff, whatever.
Jingyi: So… Even though he's nothing special, Jiang Cheng wasn't a coward and he ventured into the forest. The cold fog, the uneven mossy ground and the darkness caused by the tall leafy trees hiding the daylight made the walk difficult, but he wouldn't give up, he needed to find a clue to the witch's existence or something to tell him there wasn't nothing, that he would not find help for his brother and should go elsewhere. The farther into the forest, the more he was sure he didn't know which way he'd come, it seemed like everything behind him had disappeared. And so, the hours passed and the day approached dusk...
Jin Ling: Jiang Cheng had found it strange not to find any animals in his path, nor birds or insects, everything seemed completely silent and only the sounds of his purple Converse treading on small branches and dry leaves echoed. When the forest grew thick and he no longer knew if darkness was for this or for the night that had come, he felt the ground turn to slippery stones and heard what he thought was water sounds, but he couldn't be sure of anything there.
Jingyi: He suddenly took a misstep among the rocks and the vision that cleared below him was of a precipice that would end in a raging river. He thought it would be his end and he couldn't help his brother and that Yanli would cry forever waiting for him to come back. That's not what happened. Instead, he felt the hands that pulled him back, saving him from falling over the cliff, and when he was on safe ground, he turned to see… ahm… um… Zizhen, in the mood for a cameo describing the witch?
Jin Ling: Why him?
Jingyi: Do you remember him describing the Ghost Maiden in Yi City?
Jin Ling: I do.
Jingyi: That's why.
Zizhen: Right… I'll do my best to live up to your narrative quality. Then…
When Jiang Cheng turned to see who had saved him from certain death on the cliff, he found a small, delicate person with round olive eyes, very very long hair, as dark and shiny as a raven's wings, where a few sparse braids appeared and hid among the strands, framing the round, rosy-cheeked face, which carried an expression that was both curious and sweet. Her clothes were a little worn, but there was something pretty about it, layers of an antique dark green dress with faded floral lace and a gray wool shawl over her shoulders, like a woman of yore would have worn, but she was young, maybe younger than Jiang Cheng, or maybe that was just what she looked like. He could only describe her as stunning, she wore a faint smile on her cherry lips, which seems to say he was safe now. Her small soft hands were still in his clothes, reassuring he wouldn’t step into danger again. He didn’t know how to react at the sudden meeting with such lovely beauty in the middle of nowhere.
Jingyi: If I didn’t know who the actual witch is, I’d say that Zizhen is romantically exaggerating again, but… well, it fits.
Zizhen: You guys can go on now, can’t you?
Jingyi: Yes, we should. Jin Ling?
Jin Ling: Do you find Nie-zongzhu this beautiful?
Jingyi: Don’t you? Ask your jiujiu if he doesn’t.
Jin Ling: I guess he does. But I’m stuck. I mean, the plot. What now?
Jingyi: I got stunned by Zizhen’s description and I’m also stuck. Where should we go now? What’s the ordinary boy Jiang Cheng’s reaction to the witch?! You should know! Is your jiujiu!
Jin Ling: But I don’t know! How am I supposed to know my jiujiu’s reaction to Nie-zongzhu in such circumstances?!
Sizhui: Oh, guys, please, you were going so very well with this… I need to know what happens next.
Zizhen: A very good story can’t just end when it reaches such a point! Please!
Jingyi: Jin Ling, if we want to know what happens next, we’ll need to take extreme measures…
Jin Ling: Which extreme measures?
Jingyi: Ask the actual ordinary boy what’s his reaction.
Sizhui: Are you NOT suggesting to bother Sandu Shengshou about this, are you?!
Jingyi: We just need to get out of the room for this, it's not like he’s somewhere far away, he’s just HERE in Cloud Recesses preparing for your dad’s birthday party.
Sizhui: We cannot…
Jin Ling: This might work for something else, you know.
Sizhui: What?
Jin Ling: Nevermind. Just let’s go outside and find jiujiu.
Zizhen: Our Halloween might end with our death.
(...)
Calm starry autumn night, Jiang Cheng was happy for quiet drinking alone in the stairs of his room, a bit of peace while there was not the time for Wei Wuxian’s party. Though it didn’t last. A bunch of teenagers suddenly surrounded him, led by his nephew, everyone wrapped into their blankets, which meant that they just jumped out of their beds to the cold night - this should be breaking some of the Gusu Lan rules, probably.
Jiang Cheng: Jin Ling… what’s it now?!
Jin Ling: Jiujiu, we need your help!
Jiang Cheng: With what?
Jingyi: We got stuck with our Halloween Storytelling. I mean, it was my turn and Jin Ling’s to tell the story…
Jiang Cheng: That’s none of my business.
Jin Ling: The thing is that the protagonist is… ahm… somehow… inspired by you, so… maybe you could know what his reaction is in the situation we are stuck in.
Jiang Cheng: Am I the protagonist?... Oh… well.. what’s the situation?
…
When the boys finished telling the story to Jiang Cheng, especially the detailed description of the witch, he kept staring at them for long before speaking.
Jiang Cheng: So… am I pairing Huaisang in the story?
Jin Ling: This is… ahm… how can I explain?
Jingyi: It is that the other seniors don't fit to be a little witch.
Jiang Cheng: Oh. And what’s a “Converse”?
Jingyi: Real nice shoes that exist in our imagination.
Jiang Cheng: Okay then. My reaction to this would be to ask the witch if I can stay with her in the forest forever because my brother is so annoying and the silence of the forest is so damn good… but… a-jie is also waiting for me… you boys really made it hard for me… If you don’t get out of the stuck point, you won’t leave me alone… Right…
“He realized that out of nowhere was not an option, the beauty who saved him when nothing could be seen and suddenly brighten the forest should be only one thing: the witch he was looking for.
She must have known every path in the forest, after all, every tree and stone, where it was safe and where it wasn't. That was her house. That way, she would also know if someone had entered. She could have dropped him, she would have also known if he was a threat and if she had saved him, she trusted he wasn't. When he said nothing, the first words came from her. 'Are you lost?'
"I've been looking for you."
‘Oh. Why?'
‘My brother is sick, my house is full of ghosts and my sister is crying not knowing what to do. I thought if the witch really existed - and you do - she should know something.'
"I don't know." was her first response. ‘Well, maybe I do. But come on, we'd better take shelter in my house, if the night's cold doesn't freeze your bones, there are other abysses to fall and things you won't want to know just waiting to devour you.”
So he followed the witch.”
Jiang Cheng: Fine. This might be enough for you to go on with your storytelling. Now get back to your room before I be the one who hunts you into the dark cold night and scares the shit out of you.
…
Nie Huaisang sighed at himself, stargazing while slowly sipping the hot tea, sitting in the door of his room, thinking about the birthday celebrations that would start in the next morning. It was good to finally have such a happy meeting with his old friends, despite being in the Cloud Recesses. If Wei Wuxian was not married now, they’d probably be drinking in the city. Not that Lan Wangji wouldn’t do this if his beloved asked him to, but they surely had better things to do in the middle of the night.
The whining reached him suddenly.
Jin Ling: Jiujiu could go a bit further with that…
Jingyi: Hm. Now we are stuck again right in the witch’s house door.
Nie Huaisang: Oh, hi, boys! What are you doing and a-Cheng did what?
Jin Ling: Great, Jingyi, now we are REALLY in the witch’s door…
Sizhui: My apologies, Nie-zongzhu. We didn’t mean to disturb you this late.
Nie Huaisang: But it seems that you were disturbing a-Cheng this late, which sounds pretty funny to me. Since you’re already here, can I help with something?
Jingyi: Jin Ling, think about, ‘the witch’ is the one who really always knows all the things…
Jin Ling: I already asked jiujiu’s help, is your turn.
Jingyi: Fair. Nie-zongzhu, since you are the most creative among the seniors, it would be a great deal for us to get your help with this, if you don’t consider our investment too silly…
Nie Huaisang: Lan Jingyi, with your choice of words, you’re really Xichen-ge and Wei-xiong’s nephew, aren’t you? Okay, tell me what’s your ‘investment’.
Jingyi: A storytelling. But Jin Ling’s jiujiu was not that much of help, despite willing to give his character’s impression of the witch’s appearance…
Nie Huaisang: By ‘the witch’, you mean me ?
Jingyi: That’s right.
Zizhen: Jingyi is too bold…
Sizhui: Quite too suicidal…
Nie Huaisang: And what was a-Cheng’s collaboration?
Jingyi: According to him, his character would ask the pretty little witch to stay in the forest with her forever.
Nie Huaisang: He said so?
Jin Ling: He did, despite knowing he can’t stay there because he needs to go back to help my mom to save uncle Wei and the sad ghosts and…
The sect leader closed his fan, resting it aside.
Nie Huaisang: Okay, boys, sit down and tell me the whole thing.
…
Nie Huaisang: So, the witch is “she” but the witch is “me”? How is it?
Jingyi: We all agree that it is a boy in a dress.
Nie Huaisang: Oh, a nonbinary witch. That’s pretty interesting and makes a lot of sense.
Sizhui: Nie-zongzhu, you’re not annoyed because of our storytelling?
Nie Huaisang: Why I’d be? Actually, it’s fantastic.
Zizhen: So, could you…?
Nie Huaisang: The story must go on, I got it. Let me see…
...