Chapter Text
Being a medical doctor is great.
Unlike most other professions, doctors spend a lot of time in school and training before they can claim the title. It takes years to become a certified MD, and the road can be stressful and difficult at times. That’s why it’s so crucial to make sure that the goal is worth the effort.
Yoongi knows it by the back of his hand.
Coming from a family line of doctors, he was expected to be the accessor. Until one day after graduation from his bachelor's degree in medicine, he stood up in front of his father and decide to go backward and pursue his dream in music.
So, then he made a deal, THE DEAL that he regretted until this very day.
No one told him that dreams are hard. It is easier to dream and never woke up from it. But this is a reality. It’s THE LIFE. A life he had to take over and make the fairy-tale happen. He lingers and stays put with his dream that perhaps one day he’ll get his big chances.
After 3 years with no future to be told. Run errands left and right from the very bottom of the unknown music industry. He applied as an intern in a radio station, hoping one day his mixtape could be aired. Truthfully, he just wants his music to be heard by the world. He scribbled lines and bars in his note. Every day he does it in his small apartment that he magically transformed into a studio.
But that big chance never came and comes the dreadful deadline. He drags himself out of the hypothetical dream and back to his father, as promised bound by the deal.
Everything shattered. It’s as if someone had pulled the plug and since then Yoongi had never felt anywhere close to being alive. Stone as cold with no passion. If he could wish, he preferred to be a stone in the next life. Never need to think about the future. Never need to have driven by passion.
The reality has broken his spirit to the brick of insanity. He pledges to not dream. No need to waste his energy on something that is non-exist.
He took the deal back and continued the life he had once run away from.
Yes, being a doctor is great.
But for Yoongi, it is also at a great price. His humanity. He’ll be a doctor. One that aims to be the best. He may fail in music, but he won’t let this one slip by. Not this. Not a chance! And he won’t take the silver spoon handed to him.
He doesn’t know why he's pushing himself this far. It's not passion. But he won’t let his father smirks as he falls for the second time. At least, he aims to prove his point that he’s not a failure, at all costs even he must sell his soul to the devil himself.
---
Doctors find their calling in many ways.
Yet for Yoongi, being a doctor is just like any other profession. Nothing drives him but it doesn’t stop him to fulfil his duty, play his role and overwork himself to the brick of exhaustion.
After all that happened behind him, Yoongi manages to compete for the ladder, complete his degree and earn his place as one of the residents in Daegu Hyosung Hospital. He exceeds himself beyond the other residents of his year and people started naming him as the rising star, above his peers. Even though he still doesn’t find his way of things, but Yoongi won’t settle for mediocre. Not this time.
Sleepless night? Well, hell to that...
He is known as the /Moonlight or Black Panther/ but if you know Yoongi well, he is mostly a stray cat inside. That is what Taehyung refers him daily. Yes, Kim Taehyung is a smartass with a boxy smile plastered his fine face. Despite the 2-year gap, the younger manages to cling to him like a parasite. Yoongi can fake it all he wants but he knows the younger is a great addition to lessen his stressful day. He likes him around whether he wants to admit it or not.
“Ne, Hyung! Don't you think it’s time to go home? I mean you’ve been on shift since like... Forever— sleeping in on-call rooms is not a good image for you. You do know that? They start to call you as the sunken moon, the early riser as in from the DEAD!”
Yoongi rolls his eyes.
He /did/ have been sleeping in /days/ at the hospital. The boy is not wrong. He does start to look like a zombie at this point.
“Spare me, Taehyung-ah. Don’t flaunt your well REST-ed face in front of me. Not everyone has to maintain a beauty sleep—” The last thing Yoongi needs to hear is his friend yell in his ears. Deprive of sleep makes him a grumpy cat.
“Ouch, the grumpy cat is on the streak this early morning!” Another fellow went by them. A petite witty nurse name Park Jimin. Taehyung eyes lighten up as he saw the man walking in front of them. “Oh, I’m glad you agree with me, Jimin-ah. He does look like a cat, a grumpy one at that. Since you mentioned it Hyung, I DO have a handsome face and thanks for that... but I heard there will be a new attending joining this afternoon. Rumour tells, that this attending is heavenly handsome —then the boy starts blabbering about the face of sort mentioning Adonis that Yoongi could care less be interested—
...oh, and speaking of mornings, this guy slept in —AGAIN, Jimin-ah. Call it a hattrick!” Taehyung furrowed his brow toward Jimin.
Argghhhhhh
—Yoongi has no energy left for these two rascals, a minion soulmate at that! They are younger than him and yet disrespectful.
But he knows better, what to expect next.
Never, like ever —mess with nurses. They are the nicest, kindest and hardworking people in the building. Fearless is an understatement. But don’t make them angry because they can be scary as hell, like flaming demonic rage angry.
“Min Yoongi... “ and Jimin paused and furrowed his eyebrow before he continues, “Home! Now, and no buts... Go, NOW! before I call the security and make them ban you from the premises. I’ll do it, Min Yoongi. If I need to file a restraint order just so you are bound by law to not able to get near this hospital —then I will DO it! Don’t test me on this.”
“I’ll do as he told if I were you, Hyung. Last time he called me on just because I forgot to buy him his croissant. Like literally a CROISSANT! Talking about food, have you ever eaten anything?” Both Taehyung and Jimin perks to know the answer which they both already know by the state of Yoongi is in —He looks like beyond shit at this point.
“No....”
“Okay, you are dead Min Yoongi. I am telling everyone, NO shift for this guy because the next time we'll see him, he’ll be a skeleton, dancing a moonwalk —like I seriously CARE!” Jimin is beyond scary at this point.
“You better listen to Nurses, Yoongi!” One more joined the ruckus —This morning is so noisy in the staff station.
Dr. Jung Hoseok is one of the best Paediatricians in Daegu and his mentor. In the past year, Yoongi and Taehyung have been tending under his service. Yoongi is not sure to pursue the specialty since he is a rising star who exceeds in all fields —most attending wants him under their wings. Despite the opportunities handed to him like a silver spoon, Yoongi chooses to stick around on the 5th floor where the pediatric center is. Likewise, he doesn’t want to admit but he likes being around the people here since working with children are delightful and pure at heart —no politics, no stupid confrontation, and adult shit conflicts. His family wanted him to be a neurosurgeon or cardiologist, and we all know that is the most polemic field. 'But no pressure, right?' he silently thinks as Yoongi spaces out from the surrounding ruckus.
“Hello??? Earth to Yoongi-shii?? Oh, shit, he’s dead for real now,” scolded Hoseok to the boys behind him.
---
He must have been knocked out —as he said, Jimin can be scary with an unknown superpower— He didn’t remember when and how, but he ended up in front of his apartment door.
“Sigh,” exhaling hard, a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. He slowly opened the door.
Yoongi must felt the exhaustion creeping because whatever this shit hole of an apartment looks like, he doesn’t even bother to think about it. He takes his tired body to the corner room and slumps himself to bed. Before sleep take over, he opens his phone and read the last message
Hoseok 08:22 AM -
“No shift for you and tomorrow. I file you a day off, Yoongi. I am serious, Hyung. So, if I see a glimpse of you somewhere on the 5th floor or you somehow can manage to fool Taehyung —you are dead meat, Mister! No, not by me... but Jimin. He really DOES consider calling a restraining order over you, Hyung. Oh, and mind me, if you do end up showing your ass here... and I make sure you’ll do paper works for a whole week. You’ll see...”
Hoseok 08:25 AM -
“Have a rest, Hyung! It's an order if you don’t get sarcasm.”
Yoongi left the message on read.
The kindest like sunshine is the scariest of them all. Whenever he is being addressed as “Hyung” by Hoseok, it’s usually not a good sign. The man doesn’t care much about formalities even though Yoongi is older but Hoseok, he just knows how to use it to make a point and be serious with him. So, Yoongi always makes sure not to cross the line with Him. He cares less for Jimin since he’s peachy, but Hoseok is 100000x for sure scarier than the nurse.
So, yes —he prepares himself to sleep through the day and drops the phone aside.
As he slowly drifts away from consciousness, he softens himself to the comfort of his duvet. He must admit, it is nice to sleep in a decent bed for once.
But the smell... doesn’t feel right.
He has been spending a full 3-day of his blood, tears, and sweat at the hospital lounge or on-call bed. He is used with the smell: fairly neutral, overly clean yet an artificial clean, reeks of alcohol and disinfectant. They smell kind of sick. In the bad kind of way.
So yeah, he’s used to that.
Although anything is better than this, NOT this.
The smell of dust, a pungent damp room of fungus and he is certain something is rotten lingering somewhere in the corner —must be his dinner from who knows when. As a doctor, this is alarming. Everything tells you of unhygienic and far from protocol health standards, but Yoongi doesn’t care. He cares very less for a place that he knows he will rarely come to as home.
Home?
He pities himself while rummaging his body to a better comfy position.
Every smell of this place is an embedded proof of his state. It shows the past, not so long ago full of dreams, and now is just empty hollow. He stares blankly at the roof, snoozing off —Yes, it’s the very same small studio that he kept staying after coming back from the dreadful night with his father. Even though he came back as a Min, he is still known as the fallen Min, a disgraceful to his kind.
He doesn’t care much about that —the name, reputation, or whatnot.
But coming back to here,
Everything about this place describes you of failure and loneliness. Yoongi is nobody and he is forgotten. Yoongi heavily sighed hoping sleep will catch him soon, keeping him busy is easier than keeping far from his demons —and his mind is an ass, more than himself toward others. He went blank and a sound of piano slips through as a profound memory slip in and that always made Yoongi feel at peace and numb.
🎶
— Debussy’s Clair de Lune—
Curiously, ‘Clair de Lune’ also means ‘Moonlight’
The slow tempo and the always- harmonically unfinished phrases in the piece create a sense of ambiguity and suspense. It almost seems to annoy the listener as it lacks a sense of completion, but this feeling evokes curiosity and thought at the same time, making the piece reflective
Ironically, it’s very a-like of him, in some ways as he bitterly smiles...
“Music is the space between the notes,” a familiar soothing warn sound whom he hadn’t heard from or since he was five.
Yoongi smiled at the far-gone memory. Yoongi is tired.
---
Making as a doctor is great
The rewards once you land the job are pretty great. Not only will you get to help people and contribute to advances in medicine, but doctors are also usually paid very well.
Until you don’t know who you are, what, and why?
Your priorities are fuzzy.
A tall man with a broad shoulder leaned on the railing of the hospital’s rooftop while looking afar as if he is seeking an answer. He swift himself closer to the corner and sighed.
— ‘Kim Seokjin, why are you even here?’ he thought to himself as he lights up a smoke.
Soon follows another man and joined him with a smile, “Common Hyung, are you really going to sulk?”
“I don’t like being paraded like a circus show,” he answered with a sad pout.
A chuckle soon heard from the man, “That bad, huh?” His eyes slowly lift to see the man then he exhales the smoke out from his lungs.
“I thought you stopped, Hyung?” the man soon asked with concern.
“I need a break...” He stopped and thought hard on the word. —’ Break? He thinks. “Yeah, need a break from all that. It’s too much.” He continues as tiredness appears in his handsome frame of a face.
“Your kind of like an IDOL for most. So, it is no surprise, Hyung. Take yourself the credit. You are one of the most reputable neurosurgeons of our time and recently won the anticipated award of the century. You are the Kim Seokjin. I’ll be questioning their ability if they don’t know who you are...” He followed with a huge grin. Seokjin can’t help but smile at his friend.
“You are no better, Kim Namjoon. Says the man who leads this damn hospital. Which is, even though no one asks —the best innovative hospital in South Korea.” Seokjin follows by extending a hand to the younger’s shoulder for a light embrace. Of course, no matter how strict the man is known for around here, Namjoon always smiles shyly with dimples full display for his Hyung —yep like a koala.
“Hmmm, Joon... You are taller than me and yet NOW muscular. Wow! these biceps are something. Give your friend some slack, will you?” Seokjin complimented as he admired his friend physics. “Did Daegu change you? From the looks of it, did someone do you good?” He is upright teasingly the young man.
“Hyung, you sound like a grandpa. You know that!” said Namjoon as his cheeks went full red as he got flustered with the sudden suggestion, “Nothing, nope, none yet.” Seokjin lightens up —’ Gotcha!’ he snickers. “Yet? So, there is someone. KIM NAMJOON spill it. NOW!” Namjoon is in full panic mode as he quietly answers and whimper under his Hyung gaze, “errhm... yeah, we’re good, I’m good with how it is now. I need to figure it first —for now, we're good. I’ll tell you soon, Hyung.” Seokjin nods. It looks as if Namjoon is trying hard to convince himself that but Seokjin won't comment on that. He knows it too well and smiles fondly at how cute his friend is /being flustered/ as right now. —’ Ah, young love...’
Take me out tonight?
“No welcome party for me? Tonight, bar? What do you say, Namjoon? Like old times sake." But scratch that idea, he knows the answer as soon he saw Namjoon face. “Sorry, Hyung! I have a... date tonight,” the boy quickly gets flustered yet again full red display as a tomato. The elder slowly nods and smiles back to his friend.
“It’s okay, maybe next time Hyung?” The boy tries to fix it.
“Sure, Joon-ah. I’ll need my rest for sure after a long road. Tomorrow is still my day off, right?” Seokjin perks back at him.
“Yeah, have all the rest you need Hyung. Say hi to Noona. Hope to see her soon.” Namjoon pat Seokjin's broad shoulder as he went back to the building.
Seokjin watches his fellow friend walk away. He slowly bitterly smiles with his last words. /'You'll be thrilled, if you have known, Joon'
Today was Seokjin’s first day at Daegu living up to his dream to become the head of Neuro. As he just arrived from a 4-hour drive, he went straight to the hospital to see his friend. He didn’t expect to be greeted by the officials. He won’t start his days at the hospital until later, but the grand entrance was too unnecessarily flashy. after all he's here to do his job /who he knows to damn well that he's good at it/.
Ideally, a nice bath sounds great but he's not too keen to go back home to the house. He growled to even mention it. It's the only thing that reminded him of why the house even existed and /now/ it doesn’t look like a house he wanted to go back to...
Seokjin exhales his last smoke and picks up the pace to the elevator heading straight to the basement, to his car. He opens the front seat and starts the engine; he peeks into the rear mirror, seeing full of boxes and —he’s officially out from Seoul.
He plugged in his playlist to fill the empty void that accompanies his drive.
🎶
Driving in your car
I never, never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore...
..And the music continues in the background..
---
“Take me out tonight” Seokjin slurs the words to a stranger with a feline cat-like eye.
“...Because I want to see people and I want to see life. Driving in your car. Oh, please don't drop me home because it's not my home, it's their home. And I'm welcome no more...”
He doesn’t remember what took him here at a bar. After the dreadful drive to the new house, he felt suffocated —I don’t want to be here. The moving company won’t come until the next day, and he didn’t bother to unbox the boxes he took out from the car. He doesn’t care. He took his key and went straight out the door. The next thing is... Well, he is at a bar.
A beautiful chuckle broke his mind and demand attention. He may be drunk but not too drunk. He can appreciate a captivating sound if he wants —because no one will stop him /now/.
“Why are you reciting The Smiths?” continue the boy sitting next to his barstool.
🎶
— The Smith’s There Is a Light That Never Goes Out—
And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die...
Seokjin was surprised the boy even know the song. He slowly looks closer at the man. Besides the piercing feline-like eye, captivating, beautiful voice... he has a nice figure /although shorter for a couple of inches from Seokjin/... the man still has a face and body to die for... “Yeah, and if a double-decker bus crashes into us. To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die,” Seokjin unconsciously said it out loud making the man smile and smirk closely to Seokjin.
“Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine,” he continues to whisper —only so he and Seokjin can hear it.
“How do you know?” He is not a vocalist perse, but he can if he wants. Tonight, he was just messing with his mind and this one song keeps popping in and out in his mind.
The man cooed and smiled softly, “The Smiths were truly unique. Sometimes I go a few months without listening to a Smiths song, then I hear one on the radio and fall in love with them all over again, spending days listening to nothing else.” Instead of answering him, he asked the most avoided question, “So who made you linger to this particular song? You don’t seem like someone who is happy to go home tonight. Care to talk?”
Seokjin flashes his lashes and smile —' It won’t hurt to tell /or be with— a stranger, right?' He thinks. He needs to spill and the alcohol in his system is making it way too easy to slip.
And something about /him/ making Seokjin deviously dangerous. He knows damn too well, this is heading the wrong way /if he’s not careful. He'll be damned for sure.
Yeah, fuck it /might/ regret it. /Tomorrow. just be it. then...
“Take me /in/ tonight. Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care I don't care, I don't care.” at this point, Seokjin is actually singing the song out loud.
The man smiles and hands out his hand, “You’re a bold one to change the lyric. Come... I'll give you that drive.”
Yeah, Seokjin can play the game /too/.
At least today he’s not going home. Tonight, /at least/ he won’t be alone and /alone/ on his first day in a new city.