Chapter Text
“Oh my god, is your Dad wearing your briefs?” Wade’s eyes on his screen widen comically before he starts laughing like a maniac. The video feed starts to shake and then it shows the ceiling of Wade’s room that’s plastered with posters of various 80s trash movies.
Peter whirls around, rips the headphones out of his ears and surely there’s his father standing in his open doorway right behind him.
“Dad! What the fuck are you doing in here?!” Peter all but screeches. He slams his phone down on the desk and feels his cheeks heat up.
“What?” Tony looks first at his son and then at himself. He’s wearing nothing but briefs, an old MIT tee and two different socks. One is blue and one is red with white dots. “Excuse me for living in this house.”
“Can’t you knock for fuck’s sake?!” He questions, staring at him in a way that he hopes conveys how pissed off he is.
“First, language, young man,” Tony raises one eyebrow, “and second, I did knock. But you didn’t hear a thing with your headphones on, so don’t blame me. Third,” he continues before Peter can interrupt him, “your pops and I are ordering pizza and we want to know if you want one too, if you decide to ever leave your room again.”
“Sorry…” Peter purses his lips for a moment. “Pineapple and bacon. And can-”
“-Wade come over? Yes, he can, but only if he refrains from eating pizza with spinach and shrimp in my house again. That’s disgusting and I will not tolerate that abomination a second time,” Tony says and does an over exaggerated full-body shudder to emphasize his point.
Peter picks up his phone again and angles it so Wade won’t be able to see his dad, who is still waiting in the doorway. He puts only one of the earpods in. “Wade, do you want to come over for dinner? We are going to order pizza.”
Wade appears on screen again, his face is bright red from laughing so hard and he’s hiccuping. “Yeah, I’ll come over, babe. I’ll be there in half an hour.”
Peter blushes at the pet name. It’s been eight months since they got together but he’s still not used to it. “Alright, great, wonderful, I mean, yeah, that’s good, umm, what-what do you want to eat?”
“The usual,” Wade answers. He’s already collecting his stuff.
Peter sighs. “Dad says you’re not allowed to eat that pizza in our house again,” he admits.
“What? It’s a trap! Don’t trust him!” Wade grabs the front of his shirt and brings the phone closer so only his forehead and one eye is visible. “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.”
“You’re mixing Star Wars and Blade Runner again,” Peter mumbles, a smile spreading his lips when he remembers their first huge movie marathon.
Tony clears his throat behind him. “So? Pizza?”
“Wade? A pizza topping that won’t get me kicked out maybe?” He tries again.
“Corn. And tuna. Oh, and Mexican sauce.”
That makes even Peter cringe. “Fine, fine.” He turns around to his father. “Corn and tuna, please.”
Tony makes a face of pure disgust. “Alright, I’ll allow it for today. But I seriously wonder if it was a good idea to let you two date. I hope he doesn’t rub off on you.” He turns around again and vanishes down the hallway to the kitchen where pops is probably already waiting for him.
Peter rolls his eyes and stands up to throw the door closed again. Then he snatches his phone off the table and falls backwards onto his bed.
“Bubblebutt, please tell me that your father was not wearing your briefs just now.” Wade rubs over his eyes. “I think I need bleach to get that image out of my head. It’ll haunt me, traumatize me, and torture my undead soul until the end of time! Scary Movie 7 was a lullaby in comparison.”
Peter rolls his eyes again, so hard that he almost gets dizzy from it. “No he was not wearing my briefs. The ones you saw were pop’s. They accidentally ended up in my drawer when I wasn’t paying attention. Pops got matching ones for dad and himself for Christmas two years ago. He thought it was funny.”
The other teen makes an exaggerated sound that’s somewhere between an ‘awww’ and a gagging noise. “Okay, that is actually kinda sweet. We should get matching briefs too, would make it less embarrassing if we need to dress in a hurry and accidentally grab the wrong pair.” Wade wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
“They are not sweet, they are embarrassing,” Peter argues to hide his blush. “My parents are cringy and way too old for that kind of stuff.”
“You know, they should be starring in a Disney movie,” Wade rambles on. “Be superheroes. Then they could get up into each other’s faces and pretend that they aren’t Super Gay. With a capital S and a capital G. Gotta make it PG rated though, because Hollywood has no style. Thank the dark side of the Force that Sony has Mickey’s balls in an iron grip when it comes to the Spider Verse, or we’d soon get shitty reboot after shitty reboot and we all know that the big D is a money making machine that was born from broken childhood dreams and traumatized princesses.”
Peter frowns into his duvet. “Wade, what are you talking about?”
“Oh, nothing, babe, nothing. Readers to confuse, walls to break, the usual, you know?”
Peter just shakes his head at his boyfriend’s antics. “Hey, can you bring your Nintendo Switch over? We could continue playing Breath of the Wild after dinner.”
“What did you think was the first thing I threw into my backpack?” Wade asks rhetorically.
Peter grins. “Awesome. You’re the best. I love you.”
“No, you are,” Wade replies and Peter can see him cramming some cheetos into his bag. “I love you more, Peterio.”
“Ugh, not that name again.” Peter covers half of his face with the pillow on his bed but he’s grinning from ear to ear. “I love you ten times more.”
“Always one more than you!” Wade sings into the microphone. They both giggle at the stupid joke for a moment before Wade brings the phone up to his face again. “Okay, I’m gonna come over now, spiderling, don’t run away! See you later alligator!”
With that he hangs up on him without waiting for a goodbye. But that’s ok because Peter knows that’s just how Wade is. He turns over to snuggle up to the giant dakimakura Wade gave him for their six month anniversary. It still smells of his boyfriend’s deodorant and the chimichangas they made four days ago when Tony and Steve had been away on a short trip.
Eating in bed hadn’t been the worst thing they'd done that weekend. They are two teenagers with too much energy, but what they did with that energy will forever stay between them. His parents do not need to know what they did.
Peter blushes into his pillow when he remembers how his boyfriend’s hands had felt on his skin. Boyfriend…Peter still can’t believe that Wade is really his boyfriend. He has been in love with him for so long and now he can kiss him and hug him and hold hands and do other things with him. It feels so amazing to be able to do all of that. Butterflies are erupting in his belly at the thought that he will see Wade again in less than an hour.
Thirty minutes!
Peter jumps out of bed and grabs the first sweater that he can find in his mess. He starts tidying up as well as he can, throws away some empty bottles, and puts his half-finished homework away until the room looks acceptable. He knows that Wade won’t mind the mess, he’s even messier than Peter, but still, it’s the thought that counts.
Forty minutes later the doorbell rings and Peter runs to the door. He opens it wide and sure enough there is his boyfriend. Wade’s scooter is parked across their driveway and his helmet is dangling from one arm. In the other he holds four boxes of steaming hot pizza. He leans down and plants a kiss on Peter’s lips without asking.
Peter hums in surprise but he welcomes it. His hands find the front of Wade’s sweater. Just when he’s about to open his mouth and nips gently on his boyfriend’s lips, there is someone clearing his throat behind him.
Surprised they jerk apart. With red cheeks the boys turn to look at Steve and Tony standing behind them. Peter’s dad has his arms crossed over his chest, but at least he’s wearing pants now. “Since when do you deliver pizza, Wade?”
Steve is just smiling broadly at them, like the embarrassing and amazing and proud father that he is.
“Oh, I don’t, Mister Holmes, sir, I just ran into the delivery guy in your driveway. Hi, Captain Storm!” Wade waves at Tony and Steve from behind Peter.
“Wade, it’s good to see you again,” Steve comes forward and takes the pizza boxes from the teen. “You know you can just call us by our names, do you? I think I might have mentioned that a couple of times before.”
“Sure, sure, but I don’t wanna be slaughtered by your husband, Mr Drysdale, he looks kinda hungry and I was told I’m rather tasty.”
Peter flushes bright red and rams his elbow into Wade’s stomach quite forcefully. Tony starts spluttering and Wade has a hard time catching his breath coughing and laughing at the same time. Steve’s cheeks turn slightly pink and he blinks a few times, collecting his bearings.
“Sweetheart, maybe we should leave the kids alone for a moment, hm?” He unceremoniously wraps his arm around Tony to pull him from the hallway to the kitchen.
“Steve! Steve, did you…? You did, didn’t you? They did…when we…and they…!” Scandalized, Tony looks between his husband and his son. His expression would be priceless if Peter didn’t know that this is not over yet.
“This is not over yet!” Tony calls from the kitchen door, confirming exactly what Peter was thinking.
“Yes, yes, yes.” Steve just lets him squirm and kisses him on the lips to shut him up. He throws Peter a glance that speaks volumes. Yeah, this is not over yet. The door falls shut behind the adults and the teens sigh.
“You couldn’t wait until dinner was over, could you?” Peter wants to know and lets his head hang. “They’re never gonna let me live this down.”
Wade’s arms snake around his waist and pull him into his embrace. The taller boy’s chest is warm and solid against his back. He hooks his chin over Peter’s shoulder and presses a chaste kiss to his temple.“Nah, it’s much more fun that way,” he admits without any hint of remorse in his voice.
“Oh, by the way, look.” He spins Peter around so they are facing each other. Of course his hands land instantly on Peter’s butt. Now that the brunet is not distracted by kissing him, he realizes that they are wearing the same Batman sweater. “Changed into something special, just for you,” he grins. His blue eyes sparkle with mischief.
“You are so cheesy,” Peter smiles at him and leans in for another kiss that Wade enthusiastically reciprocates.
Wade chuckles and licks into his mouth. “Like a Sony princess.”