Chapter Text
"I'm not gonna risk losing you."
Those words played on Scully’s mind like a broken record. Her mind hurt. Her heart hurt.
When Skinner left her hospital room, she felt like breaking down again. She was overwhelmed with happiness, sadness, and longing. Happiness because she was finally pregnant with the baby they so wanted to have; sadness because Mulder wasn’t there to be with her, to hold her, comfort her, and share the joy with; and longing, because all she wanted was Mulder. Just him. Nobody else.
She laid on her side, staring at the window that was covered by a thin curtain. She could see the moon through it, starting to appear in the night sky. It was hazy and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the cloth or because of the tears that were brimming in her eyes again. She placed a hand on her still flat belly and closed her eyes, imagining the thump of the baby’s heartbeat. Tears ran down her face as she imagined Mulder laying behind her, his hand covering hers and whispering sweet-nothings in her ear. She didn’t want to open her eyes or else everything would feel real.
Scully remained in that position for some time until she heard her phone ring. She slowly sat up and grabbed her purse which was on top of the bedside table. She was thankful that the Gunmen brought her personal things. She took out her phone and saw that it was her mom calling. She took a deep breath before answering it.
“Mom?” she said.
“Dana? Mr. Skinner called and told me you were at the hospital? What happened, sweetheart?” Maggie asked, her voice laced with worry for her only daughter.
“I’m okay, Mom, just a little dehydrated that’s all.” Scully breathed out, her throat starting to slowly constrict. She wasn’t ready to tell her about the pregnancy yet.
“Would you like me to go there, sweetheart?” Maggie once again asked. She could sense her daughter’s distress.
“Yes, please.” Scully let out. “I need you, Mommy.” She whimpered and Maggie felt like the air was knocked out of her when she heard that.
It has been years since she was called ‘mommy’ by her daughter and she immediately knew something was wrong. Other things at home could wait, her baby needed her.
“I’m on my way, sweetheart,” she said. “Hang in there, okay? Mommy will be there in no time.”
Scully replied with an ‘I love you’ and hung up after Maggie responded with an ‘I love you too, Dana’.
***
She was digging through her purse in hopes of finding her phone charger when she spotted the baggy that Skinner left for her before leaving. It contained some of Mulder’s things; his wallet, his phone, and car keys. She reached for it and abandoned her purse, and took out his things. His phone was drained when she tried to turn it on and slipped it back on the bag. By some curiosity, she opened his wallet and gasped when she saw a copy of the photo her mom took of them a couple of months back. It was when they had lunch together and had told Maggie they were officially dating. She let out a sob as she held the photo in her hand. The edges were starting to fray a bit, but it still looked good.
Scully traced Mulder’s face in the photo and her tears fell on it. She traced his smile and closed her eyes imagining him once again being right beside her, smiling. She didn’t even know he kept a copy in his wallet, he never told her. When she opened her eyes, she slipped the wallet back into the bag, but kept the photo in her hand. She wanted to keep it close.
She held it to her heart and placed her other hand on her belly. With determination and a hint of sadness, she whispered to her stomach,
“We’ll be okay, baby,” she said, her breath shaky. “We’ll find your daddy soon.”
***
Maggie arrived to find her daughter asleep. Dana was clutching something close to her heart and she couldn’t help but notice the way her daughter had a hand on her belly. Something inside her bubbled as she thought of the almost impossible.
She set her things on the bedside table and pulled the chair near her daughter’s bed and sat vigil watching her daughter sleep. Her hand ached to brush away the stray hairs from Dana’s face, but her daughter was a light sleeper at times, and she didn’t want to wake her. Maggie couldn’t help but note how her daughter looked like she had been crying; her nose was red, there were tear tracks on her freckled cheeks, and her eyes seemed puffy despite being closed.
Maggie didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until she felt a hand brush hers. Startled, she woke up to see her daughter laying on her side seemingly waiting for her to wake up.
“Dana…” Maggie whispered as she sat up.
Hearing her mother say her name made Scully crumple into a puddle of emotions. She couldn’t say anything, instead she held out her arms and her mother was immediately at her side, scooping her into an embrace. She felt her mother rub her back and ask her what was wrong, and she sniffled before heart-wrenching sobs came out of her as she buried her face in her mother’s neck.
Maggie cupped the back of her daughter’s head and pressed kisses on her crown. She listened to Dana’s cries and held her tight in her arms. This was worse than when she learned her daughter had cancer years ago and she feared what it would be this time.
When she felt and heard her daughter stop crying, she slowly pulled back and cupped Dana’s face in both her hands. She has never seen her daughter break down this bad, ever.
“Tell me, sweetheart.” She whispered, her brown eyes looking straight to her daughter’s blue ones. They looked like the ocean after a storm had passed through; dark and full of fear and gloom.
“He’s gone, Mom.” Scully whimpered. Maggie didn’t need any further confirmation as to who he was.
Her ears rang and her heart thumped wildly against her ribcage. She pulled her daughter close again and let her tears fall on Dana's auburn hair. She felt her daughter’s body shake as she cried again and her arms tightening around her. She held her there and didn’t let her go until her daughter was the first to do so.
They stayed like that for what seemed like forever. A nurse had come in and that was when they broke apart. Maggie silently watched as her daughter was being assessed. When the nurse left, Scully was starting to feel a little bit better and decided it was time to tell her mom.
She fumbled with the photo in her hand and her mother watched her do it. Maggie furrowed her brows as she realized what the photo was. She softly grabbed her daughter’s left hand, prompting Scully to look at her.
Scully studied her mother’s face before speaking, “They took him, Mom. The ones who took me, took him.”
“Why?”
Scully diverted her eyes to the photo and looked at Mulder’s smiling face, “I don’t know,” she said. “He didn’t want me to go with him to Oregon because he feared for me that they might take me again. He didn’t want to risk losing me,” her voice warbled as another wave of sadness passed. She took a deep breath and said, “But I lost him . I lost him, Mom. He didn’t want to lose me , but I lost him instead.”
Fresh tears rolled on her face, as well as Maggie’s.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Maggie told her. “I’m really sorry.
Her daughter gave her a sad smile and squeezed her hand, “Me too, Mom. But I’m not gonna give up. I’m gonna look for him. I need him,” she said. “ We need him.”
“Dana… are you?”
“I am. I’m pregnant, Mom. Mulder and I are having a baby.”
Maggie beamed at her and told her congratulations. She wasn’t sure if saying that she was happy for her daughter was appropriate for the time being, but she gave Dana a reassuring squeeze, silently telling her that she was glad.
“We’ll find him, Dana. I’ll be here for you and the baby.”
“Thank you, Mom.” Scully replied.
Maggie got up from her seat and pulled her daughter into a hug. Scully rested her head just above her mother’s breast and could hear the soft thumping of her heart. She held onto the photo and closed her eyes, praying that Mulder would soon be found.