Chapter Text
“What’s gotten you so sour now, KitKat?”
“Ming won’t touch me anymore.”
Kit wasn’t ashamed of the satisfaction he got watching Beam spit back coffee into his cup, caught off guard by Kit’s blunt response when he was well-known for being as hard to crack as a bank vault. It was testimony to how fed up he was with the whole thing.
How worried.
“Since you two talked?” Pha asked. Imperturbable as always, that asshole. Kit nodded stiffly.
He had talked to Ming, extensively, painfully. And then he had reported most of it to his two friends, in broad strokes at least. They were the people closest to him – closer than Ming in most ways, in how well they knew and understood him. If he could go through it with Ming, he could with them. And he had to. He needed advice.
They had been supportive, as expected, even if it was clear Beam absolutely didn’t understand Kit’s stance. Sex had always come first for him and it was central in all his relationships. It was one of the reasons why it worked out so well with Forth, who was of similar appetites, if not quite so unromantic. No matter, Kit didn’t need him to understand, as long as he kept his mouth shut.
“You mean like, when you two are alone?” Beam said, finally recovered from the shock, though the same couldn’t be said for his coffee-stained shirt. Served him right.
“I mean, at all,” Kit sighed mournfully, pissed beyond measure.
“You two seemed to be doing better,” Pha ventured carefully. Of course he would think that. Their friends were placated by the lack of fighting these days, but Kit knew better.
He spotted his boyfriend coming up with Wayo and waved. “Just watch,” he mumbled.
Wayo pressed into Pha’s side, as usual, expecting a strong arm to settle on his shoulders and being granted immediately.
Ming sat next to Kit, and he didn’t touch him at all. Their clothes didn’t even brush. He was as charming and cheerful as always, but he was also an infuriating ten centimeters too far from Kit.
Kit threw a meaningful look to his two friends. He had to be the one to shift so that they would sit closer. Mercifully, Ming didn't get away once they got close enough to touch, but he didn’t move into it either.
Kit was well aware that he was only reaping what he had sown, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear.
Ming wouldn’t touch him anymore. Kit supposed it was one way of solving the issue. They had less conflict and petty squabbling now that Kit wasn’t rebuffing Ming’s attempts at physical contact. It meant fewer occasions to hurt the boy’s feelings.
That was because their relationship was getting further and further away from looking anything like a romantic relationship, and maybe not even a platonic one. Ming was struggling with these new boundaries Kit had sprung on him and Kit didn’t know how to help him through it. He felt like the worst hypocrite.
Because Ming wouldn’t touch him anymore, and he was slowly going insane.
Of course it had to be now that he realized how much he enjoyed Ming’s attention after all, his eyes and hands on him, his freaking touch. Kit had been so consumed with fears of what could come next that he had never let himself appreciate where they were at in the present moment. It was all coming back to him now. Ming’s warmth, his weight, his gentleness. Kit craved it all. And Ming was afraid to give it now.
There had to be a proper balance to strike. There had to be something they could do about this.
Since Kit was in no mood to try talking again, he decided that he had to suck it up and simply initiate contact first. He figured this was his punishment for letting Ming do all the work up until then – now, he would have to go for it if he wanted any kind of physical affection from his spooked boyfriend.
.
The first time Kit took Ming’s hand in his, as they were walking down to the food court for lunch, he regretted not being as camera-ready as Wayo, who would surely have caught the opportunity to capture Ming's face in a picture.
He would just have to commit it to memory.
It was a little heart-breaking though, that mix of disbelief, elation, panic – as if he wasn’t sure it was happening, if he was allowed to enjoy it. Kit had to make an extra effort not to let go immediately. He wasn’t a kid, dammit. This wasn’t such a big deal.
He hoped the glare he sent his friends upon arriving at their table was dark enough that they would know not to make any stupid comment. They seemed more interested with Ming though, and when Kit turned toward him, he was surprised to catch a glimpse of what had to be a matching glare, though he dropped it quick enough when he noticed Kit’s eyes on him.
Was Ming also wary of their friends' meddling? Not that Kit could blame him. But he didn't think the boy was self-conscious enough to care.
He didn’t want to think about their friends though. He had enough to deal with his relationship.
He had no interest in being all lovey-dovey like Yo and Pha, or only a hair away from public indecency charges like Forth and Beam. But this, this was nice. He sat by Ming’s side, too close to be mistaken as just a friend, ankles hooked casually under the table. Ming looked confused, but he was nothing if not adaptable, and he just went with it. When they were done with the food, he was the one to put a hand low on Kit’s back, hugging him to his side. Kit felt him tense a little, as if he had forgotten himself and was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Kit just pressed a little closer, and Ming smiled at him, dazzling and gorgeous, and Kit figured it was worth the mortification of looking so needy. If his punishment was to initiate from now on, so that they could go back on more comfortable grounds, then he would suffer through it.
He managed to ease them both into it, with some effort. Ming still looked a little spooked at times, and Kit still found the idea of any further public display of affection quite unappealing, but Ming had never actually requested much more than that. There was a world between keeping a two-meter distance between them at all times and sucking face at the cafeteria for all the lunch rush to see, as Kit was discovering with some embarrassment.
Then, there was also the matter of when they were alone together.
This part was trickier because Kit did need a lot of time to himself. It wasn't a Ming thing, or a boyfriend thing – his friends had complained often enough that he was too much of a hermit, had been fed up and hurt, at times, with the strength of his inertia and how easily he could dismiss spending time with them. When they were younger, he had a hard time saying no and often found himself dragged into situations he didn't enjoy and couldn't wait to leave. When he had discovered that he could, in fact, flat out refused to follow, he might have gone overboard with this new power for a while. For some time in high school, it had been impossible to make him do anything, go anywhere.
He wanted to believe he was better at it now. It was also because he and his friends had also realized they didn’t have to always be doing something. That they could just as well laze around together at home, and that didn’t mean they had wasted time or opportunities. Not if they spent it together, however mundane the way.
That had become a necessity anyway since they had become medical students. If they didn’t hang out to study outside of class, they wouldn’t hang out much at all.
So Kit decided to try and apply the same logic to Ming.
Ming spending time in his room was nothing new, but it was usually him waiting around keeping busy until Kit would be ready to do something. Kit always felt bad about ignoring him, felt pressured to finish his work faster, and then circled back to being angry at having to rush.
They had to go about it the other way around.
“What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?” Ming asked with this tone he had when he was failing to act casual. Kit was starting to appreciate how genuine and honest the boy was. What he was wary of being a façade, he was getting more and more certain that it wasn’t. Ming was truly that heartfelt.
“I have to study,” Kit said. Mind nodded, hiding his disappointment as badly as he had his hopes. “But I was thinking… We could spend the afternoon together.”
Ming raised an eyebrow, puzzled.
“Studying?”
“Yeah. You can bring your work, and some food if you want, for when we take a break.”
This sounded way better in his head, Kit cringed. Was that all he could offer for quality time? How unappealing was that?
But Ming, sweet, accommodating Ming who was ready to go along with anything Kit said, agreed easily, asking at what time he should come and if Kit had a favorite snack he wanted. Kit just told him to do whatever, eager to put a stop to this conversation.
.
Ming showed up perfectly on time, looking way too pleased with the perspective of spending some hours studying with his boyfriend in his vicinity, making Kit feel like the worse boyfriend on the face of the earth. Ming settled on his bed, spreading his notebooks and pens, as ready as could be.
“There is this essay I really need to finish and I couldn’t concentrate on it for the past few days. So that’s my objective for the day. What’s yours?”
"Huh, I need to touch up my anatomy notes and start reviewing some lessons for next week's tests."
“Okay, let’s go then.”
And go they did. Ming got engrossed in his task quickly and fell silent. Kit was rather distracted at first, listening for Ming, trying to guess if he was getting up, getting bored, watching him. He turned back a few times – each time, the boy was deep into his work. Kit felt pretty silly at his stupid worries.
He got lost in his own notes quickly enough. Kit was good at studying – sometimes it felt like it was the only thing he was any good at. They passed some time like this, Ming clicking away, Kit redrawing his anatomy sketches again and again until he could do it in his sleep.
After a little over two hours, Kit threw his pen away and got up to crash on his bed, and he usually did when he needed a break. He had sort of forgotten about Ming’s presence, though the contrary wasn’t true – Ming, with impressive reflexes, pulled his sheets out of the way before Kit crushed them under his weight. Kit hid his face into his pillow, embarrassed, as Ming chuckled above it.
“Let’s take a break?” he suggested, as if that was his idea.
“That was my idea,” Kit mumbled, petulant. Ming laughed again. Kit liked when he did that. Even more when it was thanks to him.
After a pause where Ming might have been hesitating more than necessary, a hand landed in Kit’s hair and started to stroke, light and gentle. Kit willed himself to relax and just enjoy it. It wasn’t as hard as he thought.
He shifted closer, pressed his face into Ming’s thigh, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed. The boy’s hand kept its movement into his hair, down to his back too, between his shoulder blades and along his spine. Kit was tired today – truth be told, he was always tired, and Ming was warm against him.
Kit couldn’t be blamed for falling asleep.
.
He didn't sleep for long. The light was the same when he woke up, and he didn't feel bad like he did after a too-long nap, mouth dry and head pounding. It was the heat waking him up most likely. Ming had laid down too, an arm thrown across Kit’s body, and he was snoring lightly into Kit’s neck.
He shifted just enough that he could look at the other boy. He wondered if he found him so beautiful because he was a love-struck fool, or if Ming was objectively that attractive. He didn’t recall thinking so when they first met. He didn’t think much of the boy at all then.
It was his turn to run his hand through Ming’s hair, to marvel at the sight. It was easier when the other boy was asleep, when he wasn’t looking back. Kit had a hard time dealing with Ming’s eyes on him, their tenderness and heat, the love, the desire. Ming wasn’t demanding, yet Kit felt the weight of his expectations on him all the same, how he could do nothing but fail to meet them.
Ming stirred after a moment, shuffled closer. Their faces were closed, and when he opened his eyes and met Kit's, he smiled and leaned in for a kiss.
Kit didn’t have the time to pull away or put a stop to it. Or maybe he could have, maybe he just found that he didn’t want to. Ming pressed his lips to his, still half-asleep, barely a kiss at all but thrilling all the same.
All too soon, it was over, because Ming jumped away as if burned and tumbled down the bed with a tragic whimper. Kit sat up to check on him, amused, but found the boy not amused at all.
“Ming, are you alright?”
“I’m sorry!”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I’m sorry.”
Kit, being rather stupid after a nap and a kiss, as simple and short as it was, needed a moment to understand what Ming might be apologizing about.
“It’s okay.”
“I should have asked, I…”
“Ming, it’s fine.”
There was no reasoning him though. The mood was ruined and Kit knew he was to blame. Ming was so cautious now, so unable to let himself go and be spontaneous anymore. Convinced he had done something wrong by kissing his boyfriend on his bed.
“Let’s… go out and eat something, yeah?” Kit said, desperate to move them on from this. Ming looked unsure, but he still answered Kit’s encouraging smile, and he took Kit’s hand once they were out of the room.
Kit decided to count the day as a semi-success.
.
Pha advised him to be as explicit as possible. Since non-verbal communication had failed them so spectacularly in the past, he said that Kit’s best shot was to verbalize everything. It felt like karma striking back, as being verbally demanding and explicitly emoting was a nightmare for him. The thing they did for love.
He thought about the best way to phrase it. If he just asked Ming “do you want to kiss me?” there was a chance the boy wouldn’t dare say “yes”, if he thought that wasn’t what Kit wanted. “Would you like to kiss me”? That sounded so patronizing. “I would like you to kiss me,” felt too directive. “If you want to kiss me, I’m okay with that”, too cold and removed.
In the end, the next time Ming came over to study, and came the time for a break not too long after they started because Kit couldn’t concentrate on anything else, Kit spun around on his desk chair to face Ming and said, “we should make out.”
Who decided it was a good idea to grant him the ability to speak.
Ming dropped his pen and it stained the sheets. In his haste to retrieve it, he scattered half of his notes and sent them flying, and the next few minutes were spent putting them back in order and trying and failing to remove that stain.
It wasn’t enough to ease the awkward air around them.
Kit wondered if it was best to ignore it all and try again next time, but Ming cut that way out short by asking shyly, “should we?”
He had to repeat himself at Kit’s notorious “what d’ya said” face.
“Should we? I mean, do you want to?”
“Ah. Yeah. I do, I… I want to. Make out. With you. If you’d like.”
All these millennia of evolution to develop vocal cords and comprehensive language, and this was what he did with it.
“Cool, okay. Yeah, I’d like to.”
At least Ming wasn’t doing any better.
Frustrated, Kit decided he had verbalized enough and moved closer to Ming on the bed, so that they were within touching distance at least. Ming shuffled automatically to accommodate, until their legs were entwined and their face close.
Ming opened his mouth, probably to say something mortifying again, and Kit, in the spur of the moment or his rising panic, promptly initiated a kiss for the first time ever.
Mercifully, Ming got on board quickly enough.
Moving lips got involved, some teeth and tongues next. They were still rather stiff though. Thinking was a bit difficult, but Kit managed to establish the range in which he would appreciate Ming to touch him right then – he took the boy’s hands and settled them on his sides.
“Good?” he mumbled against Ming’s lips, hardly intelligible.
“Higher too?” Ming asked back. Kit nodded. He crosses his own hands around Ming’s neck, bringing them just that bit closer, but with still some amount of space between their body.
Ah, yeah. Yeah, that was nice.
They got rather lost in it. Kit was sort of amazed by the feeling of Ming in his arms, his heat around his body, how he was finally relaxing and getting worked up at the same time. Shifting around, Kit moved a little closer, chasing warmth.
In a strange bid of deja-vu, the first brush of their body sent Ming up and flying to the other side of the room. Even more, it sent him hiding in the bathroom.
In a daze, it took several seconds for Kit to understand what had happened, to register the click of the bathroom lock and the sudden cold, empty space where his boyfriend should have been. He was too confused to be annoyed, and kind of worried too, as Ming showed no sign of coming back out.
Kit went to fetch him after a while.
“Ming?” he called, knocking on the door. “Ming, are you alright?”
“Y-yeah, I’m fine, just a minute.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, yeah!”
Unconvinced but without much of a choice apart from bursting his bathroom door, Kit went back to sit on his bed, feeling rather stupid and clumsy with the height of emotion coming back down. On one hand, he was happy with the result of his messy attempts at making words. On the other, he was panicking a little at what could have gone wrong, what he did that pushed Ming away so quickly.
Ming took several more minutes before he emerged from the bathroom. He couldn’t meet Kit’s eyes, which did nothing to the boy’s anxiety. Was that it? Did Kit do something irredeemable, in his lack of experience and skills? Was Ming done with him?
He had to apologize. They could work it out, right?
He rushed out a clumsy “I’m sorry” at the exact moment Ming did the same. “What for?”. Again, perfect timing.
At least it eased the tension a little, but Ming still looked uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong?” Kit asked gently, determined to see them through now that they had come this far.
“I’m sorry I just… really got into it.”
“That’s… that’s good right?”
It meant it wasn’t a complete failure. Ming still wasn’t looking at him though.
“No, I mean I really got into it.”
They were to have classes on communication, specifically doctor-patient communication, because people could have a hard time speaking truthfully on what was going on with them and as future doctors, they had to learn to decipher their cues, their euphemisms, the things they weren’t saying. Kit was dreading it already – was sure he would fail it miserably.
Case in point, he stared dumbly at his boyfriend for a solid ten seconds of confused silence before Ming had to make an utterly embarrassing flicker of his eyes down toward his pants and…
Kit physically felt the red shot up all the way to his hairline. Ming’s face was in a similar state, skin flaming, eyes fleeting and surely gripped with a similar wish to disappear from the face of the earth.
Kit was at a loss. Was it really that intense? Did Ming get excited for this much? It was foreign to him. Kit didn’t get worked up out of the blue, few things would catch his interest in this way, and he rarely got the urge to do anything about it. He used masturbation for stress relief mostly, and not so often, depending on the period.
A small part of him managed to rejoice about the fact that he had been doing this right after all. But the larger part was freaking out.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I… I’m sorry.”
So he couldn’t help it. It just happened. That was so impractical, such a bother! Kit had heard it often, of course, friends complaining about getting aroused at terribly inopportune moments, but he always figured it was a bit exaggerated. Surely people didn’t get excited just like that?
Well, apparently, they did.
So Kit had been right to sort of worry about it after all. Ming did get in that mood easily, with nothing much from Kit's side. It would always be a threat looming.
“It’s fine,” Kit said lamely, because Ming was feeling bad and it was his job to comfort him. “It’s fine, it happens.”
So he was discovering.
“Let’s go back to work, yeah?”
Another semi-success, though this one was a harder sell for Kit’s skeptical mind.
.
Contrary to what he had hoped, it kept happening.
They would make out, and sometimes it took longer than others, but every time it ended the same – by Ming getting away, red and short-breathed, and going to hide until he had calmed down a little, leaving Kit cold and embarrassed on the bed, the couch, or wherever.
It happened that he got excited as well. If he put his mind to it. He had figured that maybe if they were in a similar state, it would help him go for it, he would get the urges, like Ming did, to touch, to explore.
But he didn’t. Even if he was aroused, even if he got hard, he didn’t want to be touched. He barely wanted to touch himself. He didn’t feel like touching Ming either. It just held no appeal to him.
So Ming would bolt, guilty and annoyed. Because it had to be annoying to him. Kit didn’t mean to, but he was sure he still managed to make him feel like he was doing something wrong, like he was being inconsiderate or immature or something. But Kit was the problem here, surely Ming could see that. This would not even be an issue if he could just react normally, if he could meet Ming’s desire with his own. Things would then progress like they were supposed to, and they wouldn’t have to feel this way, so miserable, so alone.
Ming didn’t blame him yet but… It was so unfair. Pha kept saying that Kit didn't do anything wrong, that it was just how it was but Kit couldn't help feeling guilty. Couldn't help wishing he was different, and then…
He decided to take it as a challenge. He was determined to see them through this, even if he couldn't change. Because he couldn't and it was pointless to dwell on it.
He was done being scared of things escaping his control, seeing that it was pretty much the opposite that was happening. Kit was good at problem-solving, when it didn't concern him, he was the one others turn to for help because he was rational and level-headed, he could find solutions to most issues his friends and classmates went through.
There was no reason he couldn't do the same for himself. Sure, it wasn't relationship problems he was good for, but it couldn't be that hard. Do some research, strategize, come up with a plan.
It wasn’t fair that they were stuck in this mess. Kit was in love with Ming, truly, entirely. He liked to be with him, he liked the person he got to be with him too, even with their intimacy troubles. If Kit ranted or got annoyed at something, Ming would both laugh and comfort him, both validate his outrage and bring him down from it. He understood Kit’s need to work hard and be perfect, but he also knew to drag him out of it, to convince him that he deserved to take a break, even him, even if there was still work to be done.
He thought Kit was great, far greater than Kit thought himself to be. He was earnest and heartfelt, funny and sweet, he was the first in a long time that made Kit want to go out of his way, to try new things, to change. Kit wasn’t about to let this go without a fight.
Kit was to be a doctor and he could take the scientific approach to this. He could put his shame and embarrassment aside if he imagined looking up information that would help someone, anyone other than him. If he had a patient coming to him with such an issue, how would he go about solving it?
He decided to turn toward resources for couples that simply couldn't have an active sexual life for whatever reason. He had never thought about it, but he found many – people who had a very low sex drive as a result of mental and physical health issues, past trauma or disease. Some disabilities made having sex either a challenge or downright an impossibility. And yet people fell in love and got together all the time, everywhere, despite it all.
The next time they got to heavily make out and enjoy themselves, and Kit felt Ming retract once again, he stopped him. Just a hand on his arm, grip a tad too tight maybe, a little desperate.
“Stay.”
“Sorry, I’m…”
“It’s okay. Stay.”
Ming looked a little confused, but he stayed. He kissed Kit again – he did that very well. His hands roaming, his lips demanding. He was getting agitated though, fidgeting. There was always a good distance between their bodies – his issue was obvious.
Ming broke the kiss again, flustered. With red cheeks and kiss-swollen lips, he was adorable. And hot.
“I-I’m sorry, I need to…”
“Then go ahead.”
Ming gaped.
“What?”
“It’s… If you want, you can. You can stay and you can… do what you want to do. And I’ll stay here too.”
“Are you sure?”
“Hm. You don’t have to but…”
Ming nodded, though he stayed frozen for a moment longer before he moved, slowly, to rest a hand between his legs. Eyes on Kit, gauging, assessing, as if Kit was going to flip on him any second. Kit just resumed kissing him, closed his eyes, and put his hands back at Ming’s neck and hair.
Turned on, Ming’s kisses were sloppier, but it had its own appeal. He was still a little confused, Kit could tell, but he got on with the program soon enough.
It was a strange thing to experience on Kit’s part, who didn’t really get it, but it was exciting still, so see Ming unwind, to see him lose himself a little. His grip tightened on Kit’s arms, his other hand busy on himself. After a moment, Kit risked a glance down.
Ming's pants were open, his boxer down as best as he could while sitting on the bed, his hand a little frantic. Kit caught of glimpse of him peaking through his closed fist – he was a little transfixed.
“That’s it, that’s it,” he encouraged, a little mindless, hoping that Ming wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t get scared, that he wouldn’t either. He felt on edge, like this could come crashing down any moment, like they were on the verge, ready to fall.
They did, but not in a bad way. Ming tensed and relaxed all at once, he gasped against Kit’s mouth as if caught off guard, as if surprised.
Simply put, though Kit, struck a little dumb at the moment, didn’t catch on immediately – Ming came, just like that.
And then he started crying.
“Ming? What’s wrong, do you feel bad? What’s going on?” Kit asked, frantic and kind of pissed. What now? Couldn’t they catch a break, couldn’t they enjoy a full success for once? But Ming shook his head, sniffled, trying to wipe away the tears before he realized his hands shouldn’t go near his face just yet. Kit grabbed some tissues from his night shelf and cleaned his face for him, and his hands too. Gross.
“How was that? Did you like it?” Kit asked, having troubles meeting Ming’s eyes but needing to know anyway. He felt stupidly nervous, after what they just did.
“What about you?”
“I asked you first!”
Ming didn’t laugh. He was very serious.
"I need to know about you before I can say for sure."
Kit rolled his eyes.
“And what do we do if I say the same thing?”
Ming looked genuinely distressed at that, so Kit backtracked quickly, figuring the teasing would have to wait until Ming wasn’t so emotional.
“It wasn’t a spur of a moment thing. I’ve been thinking about it so… This is what I wanted to happen. I know it’s not much and it might be a little weird but…”
“I’m embarrassed,” Ming cut. He was a little more composed now.
“What? Why? Sex is not something to be ashamed of!”
“You’re the one telling me that?”
“I-I was never ashamed, I was scared!”
He wasn’t sure it was much better, now that he was saying it. Ming chuckled – at least he was feeling better, even if it was at Kit’s expense.
“I’m embarrassed it was over so fast. But you took me off guard! That was… That was very hot.”
“Oh. It was?”
Kit did have some statistics in mind on average intercourse duration and men's performance, but they didn't help much in practice.
“Yeah, that’s… doesn’t it freak you out? I’m really into you, Kit.”
Kit took his time to think about that. There was a moment when he thought he would call it all off – if it had lasted longer, he might have. It would have been smarter to discuss it before and he knew he had just wanted to cut off an escape route, that just talking about it may have made it too much already. He was lucky it went well, in the end, or it could have made things even worse.
It did go well though.
“I may have been a little… ambitious. But it’s fine. I’m… I love you, you know? I trust you too. I wanted to give you something, for a change. You’re always the one giving.”
“You don’t have to…”
“I know I don’t have to do anything. But I kind of do. I have to work for this, like you do. And so I tried to think of a way. It’s not perfect but… We can work it out together. I do want to try. I want you to get what you want too.”
Between the two of them, Kit was the one good at boundaries, and at putting his foot down, at refusing to do things he wasn’t comfortable with. If anything he should be the one worried about Ming, about his stupidly eager boyfriend who always wanted to please everyone, sometimes to his own detriment.
“Listen, I know you got… you freaked out about what I told you and I know you’ve been trying to be mindful but it’s unfair to you and I… I’m willing to work on it. So just tell me. Tell me what you want and what you like and don’t, and we’ll figure it out.”
“Kit! That’s-that’s my line!”
“Listen to you senior for once.”
Ming made a dismissive noise, fight back within him already. He wouldn’t be outmatched, and he wouldn’t refuse the challenge.
“If you’re… if you’re turned on or whatever, you don’t have to hide it. It doesn’t bother me. Anymore. We can just do something about it.”
“We?”
“Maybe I’ll be the one to take care of it next time.”
Kit only realized what he was saying when it was already out of his mouth and, more importantly, into Ming’s ears. He got stars in his eyes like a kid promised candy.
“Really?”
“I said maybe!”
“Okay, okay, maybe!”
Ming was laughing, at last. A success it was.
.
Kit did get his hands on him, eventually. His eyes too, Ming out of his clothes, naked and glorious. Only him – Kit couldn’t get himself and his body too involved, or he pulled back, uneased. It had to be all about Ming, which was frustrating to the boy at times. But so was to Kit Ming’s near-constant state of excitement that would get in the way of what they were doing, one way or another. When he got fed up with it, Kit sent him to take care of it on his own, but more often than not, he couldn't get as annoyed as he wanted to be with it. If they could get closer, if Ming could be happy.
And he would be, if Kit had any say in it. They would be, for sure.