Chapter Text
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Tommy fucking lost it while he was outside with Dream and Wilbur, shoveling snow from the porch and pathway when the person he knows— once knew—so well, messaged him out of the blue asking to meet up.
He had to rub his eyes once, then twice again to make sure he wasn’t getting some sort of weird brain freeze type of hallucinations or some shit—
Tommy dropped his shovel to grip the communicator in his hands to the point that they started shaking.
Tubbo whispered to You: Hey Tommy, its been awhile and I wantd to see how you re doing. If you i would like to met up and tslk to you again :D -Tubbo
What the fuck?!
He threaded his hand through his hair and grasped it hard as he fell into his knees. His heavy breath started to fog his vision as he heaved in the cold air and mixed emotions tipping over like an overspilling bucket.
How could he just— fucking message me now when he didn’t even bother to visit me when I was still in exile?! What the fuck, it can’t be. It can’t— he probably has— but what if he just misses me? I mean... I sorta guess I miss him too. I miss L’manburg and all, my old house and the community house— wait no!
They fucking left me alone in exile and didn’t even care enough to visiting me! They’re all fucking bastards who don’t give two shits about me—
But what about Tubbo? Tubbo he— he probably was busy with the country so it’s sorta understandable if he can’t visit—
The fuck, nono no no NO NONOO!
He had his fucking chances. He could’ve visited if really wanted to, but he chose not to! Fucking bastard. I thought he was my friend—MY FUCKING BEST FRIEND! Or so I fucking thought.
Fuck him. Fuck Tubbo. Fuck that stupid bastard Tubbo! Fuck you, fuck you Tubbo, fuck you, fuck, fuck you—
“TOMMY?!”
A voice broke through his train of thoughts.
“Tommy!! Tommy, what’s wrong?! Are you okay?!” Ghostbur came into his view, hovering above the snow as he grabbed the younger by the shoulders to face him, genuinely concerned.
“Tommy...” Dream was behind Wilbur, staring down at the blonde.
Through his hazed sight, the younger could still barely make out a deep frown on the green ghost’s face. That was enough for him to immediately know that he was worried about him even without seeing his eyes.
Wilbur started to panic, but willed himself to try and stay calm for his younger brother as he held him. “Tommy, please. It’s me, Ghostbur! You’re going to be fine— can you see? We’re here and you’re going to be okay. Okay?”
Tommy managed to nod between his quick breaths.
“O—okay.”
Ghostbur’s words slowly began to register in his head when he tried to calm his heart and mind, trying his best to focus on the feeling of his brother’s arms around him that was helping him stay grounded as Dream made an effort to hold Tommy’s hand in an effort to remind him of his presence.
And when the youngest blond finally managed to let out a shaky sigh, his body slowly and visibly calmed down a bit now. But there was still a heavy, unstable feeling eating away in his chest and ready to break at any moment so they became very mindful. When Ghostbur noticed this, he brought a hand up to pet the curly blond locks of his brother’s head.
And finally, Tommy settles. The adrenaline and stress began to fade as he slowly looked around, trying to remember and figure out his surroundings.
Oh right. He’s outside. Shoveling the snow from the path way with his brother and Dream. And then he got a message from Tubbo.
Right. Tubbo.
He folded over to completely hug Wilbur, but used a spare arm to wrap around Dream’s torso and brought him closer to them as he let out a choked sob.
“I—haaah— I’m— I’m not okay, Wilbur. Big man. But give me a sec to just—“ Tommy whined, holding on to the yellow sweater of Wilbur tighter, trying to keep himself together, detaching himself from Dream to further bury himself into his brother’s sweater.
“Of— of course, Tommy. Take your time— me and Dream are here for you. Please, Tommy. It’s okay, everything’s gunna be okay. He—here! Have some blue in the meantime—.” Wilbur tried to coax the younger, taking his hand and running it up and down the younger’s back as he tried to wriggle his hand free but to no avail.
He met the gaze of Dream, who was looking at him and was silently trying to gesture to the direction of the house like he was conveying a silent message.
Wilbur understood and gestured for him to go, Dream nodded. But before he left, he gave the shaken teen one last squeeze and a whisper of comfort before he quickly went off to find the closest person he could find.
The older brother looked down at his younger sibling and tugged him closer, thinking that being close to the ground is doing no good for the both of them— Tommy could catch frostbite and Wilbur could melt— and even though Ghostbur has no natural warmth, his presence alone was enough to make Tommy feel better and feel the warm of affection from Wilbur.
They spent a few moments in silence until Tommy finally stopped shaking and had his arms now loosely around the older, but Wilbur refused to pull away until he was sure he was completely okay. Then Wilbur notices the communicator near the ground next to them, he mentions it.
“Tommy, did someone message you?”
Just when Tommy was going to relax, he tensed in his brother’s arms and made a movement to pull away from him, and Wilbur regretted it.
“I’m sorry, Tommy! You don’t have to tell me if you don’t—“
“Tommy! Wilbur! What happened?!” The two brothers snapped their heads and saw Dream leading Techno and Philza towards them.
“Phil...” Tommy murmured helplessly, already trying to reach for him. Philza fell to the ground next to them and brought Tommy into his arms, surrounding his son with the warm comfort he needed after being scared and out in the cold.
“It’s okay now, Tommy. Let’s go back inside, it’s okay.” Philza urged his youngest.
Tommy was hesitant, looking back and forth on the unfinished pathway. “But I wasn’t done with this yet—“
“It’s okay, Techno and Dream could do that. Don't worry about that right now so come on.” He insisted, shooting a look at his middle child who just groaned in agreement.
“Fine, fine. It’ll only be a few minutes.” Techno grumbled and Phil looked relieved.
“C’mon now, let’s head back. I’ll fix us a cup of hot chocolate.” He reassured him as he finally hoisted Tommy to his feet. The teenager was reluctant but gave in, bringing his communicator with him as he, Philza and Wilbur headed back home, leaving the two in the middle of the cold.
Techno and Dream looked at each other then at the shovel. The pink haired man sighed and picked up the shovel to begin finishing the job as the ghost hovered near him.
“Tommy, he—“ Dream started, earning a ear twitch from Techno.
“Yeah?”
The ghost looked over the cabin just in time to see the three enter before turning back to Techno. “He didn’t look okay... he uhm,”
Techno stopped midway. I mean, he literally barged in for a while and told them something happened to Tommy and when they got there, they clearly saw that he wasn’t okay, but why mention it again?
“What... do you mean, Dream?”
“He... took out this thing... I don’t know what it was but... a device thing...?”
A communicator, Techno thought. Dream continued, his face turning glum.
“He looked very sad after... and me and Bur didn’t... notice at first but he— he... fell over an’ started... looking sad and upset...” The ghost almost whined when he remembered the younger’s expression, Techno pressed his lips together, continuing to set the snow aside but his attention was listening to the ghost.
“Techno... is it okay to feel... uhm, worried?” The ghost chokes out. Techno stuttered to a stop, bringing his head up to look at him.
“What? What do you mean— what kind of question is that, Dream?” The former assassin furrowed his brows together, utterly confused as to why the ghost was asking whether or not it was alright to feel emotions such as worry.
Techno would understand if he had asked if it was okay to show or to actively act on his emotions, but this was different. Was he asking permission?
Dream ducked his head, bringing his hand up to tug the hem of his hoodie to cover more of his head as he looked away. “I don’t know... I feel like— I—... I don’t...”
The ghost pressed his lips, curling up into himself above the ground, gripping his arms like he was physically trying to hold himself together as he looks into the direction of the cabin.
“I—I don’t feel like... I’m even allowed to be... worried and concerned for T-Tommy.” His voice quivered with vulnerability, tone soft when he said the teen’s name. Techno’s mouth fell open, recollecting himself to say something but Dream continued.
“I— I know Tommy, fo-forgave me a while back... I know that... I know, but— nghnn...” He whines pathetically, nearly folding over as he starts floating away slowly. He didn't even look like he was talking to Technoblade— like he was talking to himself.
Techno flinches painfully, dropping the shovel at his feet, reaching for his old friend. “Dream— no. Stop. I’m telling you—“ He surged forward, finally reaching him and took a hold of his shoulders, and shook him harshly, ignoring how the ghost finally snapped back and winced at his grip.
“I’m telling you right now to stop.” He says, firmly as the ghost freezes in his hands. Techno relaxes, easing his grip to feather light as he places his hands on his friend’s shoulder and levels him with a knowing stare.
“It’s okay. It’s okay to feel guilty— it’s okay to feel like you’re not fucking worth the forgiveness for all the crimes and shit you’ve fucking committed—“ Techno sucks in a breath, trying to calm down when he found himself cursing. Cursing was a big part of his darker past which he was slowly trying to move past, slowly but surely.
“It’s okay— Hell— I blew up Tommy and Wilbur’s home and tried to kill their friends once— yet look at us. Wilbur doesn’t remember it all— sure, but Tommy. Tommy— he—“ He bit the inner part of his cheek to stop himself from blabbering even more of the information he wasn’t supposed to say in front of Dream.
“He— he, he forgave me. Just like he did with you.” Techno said, firmly and in full confidence. Dream looked up at him, jaw agape as he stared dazed.
He finally lets go of the ghost, who slowly processed the fact he was no longer being grounded by Techno and floated by him.
Techno ran a gloved hand up through his pink locks as he met Dream’s gaze from under his bandana.
“I’m not the best person that can tell you how to feel or how to manage your emotions, but—“ He looks away and picks up the shovel to finish his work. “I can definitely say that I was in your position once.”
His voice became hushed, weak, almost vulnerable—as vulnerable as Technoblade could ever allow himself—and soft, softer than anything the ghost’s ever heard from him.
“So I know what guilt feels like. Sometimes you can’t feel them—see them even. But when you do remember them— they won’t leave you alone. Not for a while.”
Techno says with a sigh. He stabbed the ground and used his foot to dig it deeper and shovels the snow, layer after layer.
Cold air fills the silence in a dry hum of the unforgiving winds. Sounds of the snow crunching and the occasional loud exhale of the male. Dream only watched, stayed at a respectful distance as he picked at the pockets of his jacket but nonetheless stayed quiet which Techno was grateful for, being able to finally focus to finish his work.
As Techno finished up, he felt a tug on his shoulder.
“Does... does it...” Dream started and glanced at him from the side.
“Does it get easier?” Technoblade cuts him off, finishing the thought. Dream nodded and he let out a bitter laugh, watching the fog of his breath in front of his face.
“Sometimes.”
Dream nodded once more, his hand lingered a bit longer on him before he backed away. Techno could’ve said something, to make him feel better. But he also knew he shouldn’t coddle and let his opinions effect Dream’s own views otherwise—
Why did his shoulder have a thin layer of ice?
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