Chapter Text
The sun was hot and the air was dry. Summers in Jackson Hole were starting to remind me a bit too much of everyday Serenity weather. It was unsettling. But even with the unpleasant weather, I decided it’d be a good idea to go on a walk. Obviously, because I totally knew the neighbourhood.
…Okay maybe not, but this was the best way to learn. Get a feel for my new surroundings and all that jazz.
To be honest I don’t really remember asking if I could even go for a walk. I just remember Tamara nodding, bright blue eyes not looking away from her laptop screen, splashing the same blue light onto her face.
The backyard was huge, in fact it didn’t have a fence around it or anything. It just kept going and going until it reached the furthest mountains, that were so small from where I stood that I could crush them with my index finger and thumb.
For a while I just walked on autopilot. I was so used to having to do so much walking when we were on the run I’d rewired my brain to not think about anything. What was I going to think about? I didn’t have parents, or a home, or hobby’s, and my best friend, Randy, was long gone. All the good moments in my life were just lies, so it’s not like I could try and comfort myself. That left only the last resort, turning off my brain entirely.
It use to be a nice breather, but now that my life was slightly back in control I didn’t have to resort to that anymore. How do you turn that switch off though?
I had no clue.
One minute I was out the back door of the mansion. Next I turned back and could barely see it.
“Oh no” I muttered, as if i’d just woken up from a nap and I was only half conscious, taking a step back in the direction of the house, “Dad’s gonna kill me-“
The words slipped from my mouth before I had the brains to stop them. My feet froze in place, even with the sun beating on my back.
Eli how many times do you have to remind yourself before it sticks? He wasn’t your dad, he was a crazy scientist who only ever cared for the experiment.
I sighed, he proved that when he nearly killed you-
“Shut up” I groaned, even if it was true I didn’t feel like thinking about that.
“I don’t think I said anything” a voice came up from behind me, sounding a little airy, just the slightest bit out of breath.
I tilted my head behind me to where Amber stood, stretching her arms and legs.
She moved her head to the side, letting out sly smile.
“Why do you look so freaked out? Do I look like that much of an alien with my hair pinned back?” She asked, picking at her indeed different hair style. I hadn’t noticed that before she had pointed it out.
I shook my head and snapped back to reality, “Nah, it looks nice” I tried to say in my normal calm tone.
Her slight brown eyes narrowed, eye brows tilting upward, “…Seriously, are you good Eli?” She asked.
“Yes!” I rushed, sounding a bit too confident in that answer.
“I mean, yeah … it’s just really hot out, I think my heads getting dizzy” I tried again, slowing down my rush of words to a gentle stream. My hand rubbed my forehead, the dizzy thing was kinda true, so I sat down on a nearby rock.
“Oh, here, I’ve got a water bottle with me” Amber said, passing it to me, “you’re clearly new to the running game”
“Yeah” I chuckled awkwardly, “who knew the outside world didn’t have air conditioning.”
It was a dumb thing to say since we knew best out of anybody that the outside world didn’t provide any short cuts like that. But my stressed out brain didn’t like to think smart, it just liked to think fast.
Amber quit her stretching and sat down beside me on the rock. The sun was out on full blast, and there was no shade for us on the rock. I took a long sip from the water.
“It’s been a while since it was just us” She said at last. She was right. I don’t remember the last time when it was just me and Amber.
“Yeah, anything been going on lately?” I asked, wincing after the words escaped my mouth. Of all the dumb things to say-
“Anything been going on lately?” Amber repeated my words, “Umm, where to start? Do you know anything about Project Osiris?”
“You mean the Egyptian god?” I asked, playing dumb.
“No, I mean the shoe company” Amber corrected me. I let out a laugh, passing the water bottle back to Amber. She hadn’t shown it an awful lot when we were on the run, since then more important things were at stake, but Amber could be funny in a sarcastic way when she wanted to be.
We sat in silence after my limited laughter ran out.
“Eli you don’t have to be so tense all the time” Amber paused, studying my anxious features, “We can actually relax now, you know”
I raise an eyebrow, “you do realize what you’re saying? Right?”
“I know it doesn’t seem genuine coming from me, since I’m always on runs and making schedules and lists” Amber sighed, “but this is the best I’ve felt in a while Eli, this is my form of relaxation” She indicated the outside and her water bottle.
I looked down at my hands. Relax? I hadn’t felt calm, or relaxed, or anything like that in months. Maybe I just had to try harder or something, because it wasn’t clicking.
“I- I’m not sure I know how” I admitted, fingers knotted together.
Amber didn’t reply right away. Instead she pulled her new phone out of her back pocket and pulled up the notes app.
“Well let’s start simple” She said, “what are some things that make you happy?”
I stared at her phone screen, “you’re seriously making a list?”
“Yes” Amber says bluntly, “now start naming some things.”
“Umm, okay?” I hesitated, thinking for a moment, “Well I like hanging out with my friends … when we’re not running away from something that is.”
Amber nodded, typing it out on her phone screen, “anything else?”
“I like learning stuff about the real world, stuff is really strange out here” I said, “Oh! And I like hacking into stuff, it’s like a puzzle … but I don’t think hacking into stuff is legal so scratch that” I ranted off into a mumble.
“I’m sure there are computers puzzles out there” Amber said, putting that on the list too, “you could ask … Tamara about it, I suppose, since she knows the most about computers and junk”
I looked up surprised at Amber. She wasn’t the biggest Tamara Dunleavy fan, but she mentioned her without some hint criticism this time. That was progress. Though Amber probably just suggested her because she knows I think she’s cool.
“Thanks” I blurted out without thinking.
Amber looked back at me, a confused expression clear on her face.
“For doing this” I explained, indicating her phone, “it’s nice of you to help calm me down.”
“That’s my whole thing Eli, I help people” she grinned and got up, “thought you would’ve figured that much out by now.”
“You’re really good at hiding it” I shook my head, “like when you cut our necks open”
“Hey! I was the best surgeon you guys had” She yelled, jumping around and pointing her finger accusingly at me.
I made a big show of rubbing my neck right where the tiny scar was, “I can still feel the box cutter slice me open”
“You suck” Amber said, turning around, “you can walk back home by yourself” and started running down the path.
“Hey- Hey! Wait up!” I laughed, scrambling off of the rock and starting after her, “Amber seriously!”
She didn’t slow down, so I sped up. The sun still beating down on my back, but the thoughts of Serenity faded the further I ran after Amber.