Chapter Text
Nine years, he had told Andy. Nine years at Dunder Mifflin, and now he had to park half a mile away in some shady satellite parking lot around the corner from an even shadier junkyard. It was absolutely unacceptable on all accounts. The only good thing to come out of this entire travesty, and he’d deny it if you ever outright asked, is that he got to spend ten minutes every morning bitching about it with Andy.
Phyllis lucked out and got dropped off by Bob Vance every morning because, like Michael, he had his own personal parking space. Jim and Pam had taken their time, holding hands like they were on some kind of horrendous romantic interlude. Nothing screams romance like a stroll past a filthy junkyard. He'd never understand straight people. Then there was Kevin, who would breathe heavily and start and stop every minute and 40 seconds. He knows. He’s counted.
At least Andy could keep pace with him while being equally as incensed. Every day it was like they’d had something new about their situation to complain about. He's grateful for it because he doesn’t think he would've been able to effectively do his job if he'd gotten to work without letting all of his frustration out first. It was like therapy that he didn’t have to pay for. In fact, he’d already rescheduled his appointment twice because he didn’t really feel the need to talk about anything after being able to just let it all out with Andy every morning.
It was almost bizarre how much he’d come to enjoy their daily rants together. There were days when they didn’t yell about the W.B. Jones guys at all and instead found other things to complain about. His favorite bakery, for example, changed owners, and the new recipe they were using for blueberry scones was just a bit too dry for his taste. He made sure to stop by before work one morning and buy one so that Andy could taste it for himself and see. As luck would have it, the damn thing was borderline delicious, which was highly inconvenient, and they’d spent the rest of their walk arguing about whether or not Oscar was just overreacting while Andy gleefully finished the scone.
He’d picked up another one the next day, hoping it’d be just as good, but as soon as he took a bite, it was like ash in his mouth. Not wanting to subject Andy to that, he ended up tossing it before he even got to his car. What a waste. And on top of that, he had this horrible taste in his mouth, and he’d waited too long in line at the bakery, so there was no way he would’ve had time to get a coffee without being extremely late. Which meant he'd be stuck drinking the vile swill at work. He let the frustration build so that he could complain about it to Andy, but everything he was about to say immediately vanished from his brain when he saw Andy leaning against his car with two coffees, one in each hand. When he handed one to Oscar, and he saw the logo for Adezzo, his favorite coffee shop, on the cup, he almost kissed the man.
Oscar took one sip and let out a noise of absolute pleasure. He had not only guessed his favorite drink but had somehow gotten it exactly right. Not only that, but it was still piping hot. Andy mentioned that he transferred his drink to a thermos to keep it really hot and then put it back in the cup just as he got to the office to keep it at optimal temperature. When he thanked Andy for being so thoughtful and going all the way to his favorite coffee shop, Andy appeared to light up at Oscar’s gratitude and told him it was no big deal and that it was on his way to the office anyway. Oscar wasn’t sure where Andy was this morning that stopping at a coffee shop on the other side of the city from where he lived was on the way, but he was grateful nonetheless. So grateful that for half the way, they didn’t complain about anything at all. Just talked about their top five best coffees. Andy went through his list, the number one being a small cafe in France.
“That’s so pretentious and predictable.” Oscar laughed and shook his head.
“I’ve heard the same said about me,” Andy responded with a shrug. Oscar could, unfortunately, relate. Oscar had barely gotten through two of his top five when suddenly his drink was snatched out of his hand by Kevin, who was breathing heavily and leaning against a parked car.
“No, Kevin!” “That’s super hot!” He and Andy had warned him, but it was too late. Kevin had taken a huge sip and then shouted as the coffee scalded his tongue. They walked him back to his car so that he could go see a doctor. On their way back, Oscar looked at the spilled cup lying sadly on the ground. He never did get to finish his list.
To make matters worse, because it was nearing the end of the month, he needed to make up for Kevin being out, as Angela just couldn’t work late for some reason. At first, he thought it was because she had plans with Andy, which annoyed him in a way that he was nowhere near ready to analyze, but the two of them never left together or indicated any plans outside of work. So he was left to assume that he had to come in early and leave late, and as a result, walk by himself two days in a row because she was just the actual worst.
When Kevin came back to work, and Oscar joined Andy on their walk again, he was still so annoyed that he actually considered just expensing a ride to work because this was borderline intolerable.
“You should think about it, too,” Oscar told him. “I’m the one who approves the expense reports, so who would know?” To be fair, he wouldn’t actually do something like that without telling anyone. He’d just sneakily convince Michael to approve it somehow. Andy didn’t seem to like that idea, and that was fair. It was a lot of money to just lay out, and having to wait until the end of the month for reimbursement isn’t always ideal, especially in this economy. Not that it mattered really because that same day, he watched as Andy got up from his desk and went back for his cell phone, and within an hour, he and Kevin were in Michael’s office, furiously discussing the parking situation.
When he heard that they’d gone to meet with four of The Five Families of Scranton Business Park, Michael being the exception, Oscar was surprised. He honestly didn’t know either of them had it in them. When they had returned near the end of the day to announce their victory, Oscar looked at Andy with a soft smile on his face. He actually felt proud of Andy, which should’ve been surprising to him, but for some reason felt right. He was really pleased for him, which he made a point to tell him at the end of the day and their last time walking to the satellite lot together.
“It’s going to be great to get that extra twenty minutes of sleep again,” Andy said excitedly. Oscar agreed, but his own smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He wasn’t going to lie, he’d really come to enjoy this time getting to know Andy a little better, and bizarrely he felt a bit sad that it was over now. This time when this therapist's office called, he confirmed the appointment.
He spent a part of his appointment talking about the last two weeks and how he'd felt better after talking through his frustrations with Andy. This became a slight issue when he had to explain to his therapist, who had complimented Oscar on getting back out there after Gil that he and Andy were just co-workers and not, in fact, dating. It was pretty funny, actually, and for a moment, he considered telling Andy so they could laugh about it. However, when he arrived at work the next day, there was something off about Andy that he couldn’t seem to get to the bottom of. As far as Oscar could tell, Andy had been really happy about the parking spaces. In fact, he spent a few days after responding to anyone who was slightly rude to him with, “You’re welcome for your parking spot back, be tee dubs.” Whatever that meant. So seeing him slightly quieter than normal and with a frown on his face was practically jarring, if he was being honest.
Weeks went by, and Andy seemed to have gotten more and more closed off. Oscar wanted to talk to him about it and even brought up having him finally join the Finer Things Club to the group, but Toby had once again immediately shut that down before he could even get the full sentence out. After the disaster with Jim, it had to be completely unanimous if they were to let someone in. Pam was good with it, but Toby stood firm on his refusal. To be honest, sometimes Oscar wasn’t sure about Toby being in the club. He didn’t offer too much commentary, and his observations were surface-level at best.
When Monday came around, he decided to make a point of asking Andy if he wanted to sit together at lunch so they could catch up, which he had happily accepted.
“That looks delish,” Andy commented as he sat down with a slight wince. Oscar stopped eating his stuffed peppers and looked at Andy with concern.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“Doing some more walking before work, and my calves are super tight.” Andy leaned down a bit and squeezed at the muscle.
Oscar’s first instinct was to say he was exaggerating and then offering to feel them, but the level of inappropriate and completely out of nowhere that this thought was caused him to say, louder than he wanted to, “Have you tried stretching first?”
Andy lightly tapped his forehead with his middle and index fingers as if the thought hadn’t occurred to him. Clearly, it had not. They spent the rest of their meal talking about which stretches are always best to do before any type of exercise. The hour was over before Oscar realized he hadn’t gotten a chance to ask him what had been going on with him. Maybe whatever it was had passed because he seemed mostly fine and only slightly frustrated for the rest of the week. However, Oscar noted he was no longer limping, which was nice.
Trying to avoid a ridiculously long stoplight, Oscar made a right at the red light instead of going straight on Thursday. He wasn’t running late, and he didn’t know why the stoplight bothered him so much as going around it really would be the same amount of time, but he did it anyway. It was on this day that he passed by the satellite lot and noticed Andy stretching in the parking lot next to his Prius. He backed up and pulled over by the lot exit, and beeped his horn.
“What are you doing, Andy?” Oscar asked Andy as he approached his car.
“Doing some stretches like you suggested.” He watched as Andy stretched, adjusted his stance, and leaned into it. He looked away quickly when Andy let out a groan, and he felt an odd jolt in his stomach.
“Why are you doing it here, though?” He waved his hand in the direction of the parking lot and still refused to look at him until he was positive that his face wasn’t red. He had no reason to be embarrassed; he wasn’t the one doing stretches in the parking lot like a lunatic. “Why not at the office or in a conference room?”
“I told you the other day that I was walking before work now. I probably should’ve clarified I was walking to work. From here.”
He couldn’t understand why he would ever bother coming back here and doing this when just a few weeks ago, he was dancing in the parking lot and talking about his accomplishment to anyone who would listen. He told Andy this, but the other man just shrugged.
“I know, it’s crazy.”
“Uh-huh.” Oscar watched the way Andy pulled his leg up behind him and definitely didn’t notice the way it slightly exposed his ankle. Was he really staring at an exposed ankle like some repressed Victorian gentleman now? Is this what he’s become? Oscar moved his gaze back up to Andy’s face as he started to explain why he was now parking here again and how he hoped the exercise would put him in a better mood. Even though his first reaction was to call him ridiculous, he was fairly certain there was actual science behind a person's mood and exercise, so who was he to disagree with Andy on this?
“That does make a lot of sense, actually,” Oscar agreed and tried not to smile when Andy seemed really happy about that. Luckily whatever inclination to smile at him was quickly erased by some horrific attempt by Andy at speaking Spanish.
He stared at Andy for a bit as he walked back to his car. He had this strange feeling that there was more to Andy than just the obnoxiously loud buffoon that he often presented himself as. He had gotten to see a little bit of it a few weeks ago, and a small part of him considered that maybe this would be a good excuse to explore this odd need to get to know him.
This feeling only intensified when Andy arrived at the office about fifteen minutes later and made a romantic gesture to Angela, only to have his thrown back in his face. Angela’s behavior was completely uncalled for, and he told her as such. Normally he’d just ignore it, but something about seeing Andy go from happy to heartbroken so quickly just didn’t sit right with him.
“Hi, Pam.” Oscar walked over to Reception later that afternoon, holding a stack of papers. There wasn’t anything special about them, but he never really came to Reception and didn’t want to seem suspicious.
“Hey, Oscar,” Pam responded with a surprised smile. “What can I do for you?”
“Do you have any large envelopes by any chance? There weren’t any by the copier.” Oscar lied.
“Oh?” Pam frowned and looked in the direction of the copier, and Oscar really hoped she wasn’t about to make a big deal out of this. This was so stupid. He really should just tell her never mind and go back to his desk. Thankfully she just went into one of the drawers behind her desk and handed him a small stack.
“Thanks,” Oscar said but still stood awkwardly at her desk.
“Did you need anything else? Stamps?” Pam asked. Oscar hated that he could see that Pam didn’t for one second buy his excuse for coming over here. Spending so much time with Jim had rubbed off on her because she could now see through most ruses very easily.
“ Yes, actually.” Oscar cleared his throat and began to put some of the papers, which again were literally just blank forms, into an envelope so that he didn’t have to make eye contact. “I was wondering if you had any more of those marshmallow peeps left by any chance?”
“Oh.” Pam raised her eyes in surprise, not having expected that question. “I had one left, but I was saving it for Jim.”
Oscar looked over his shoulder briefly at Andy and then turned away quickly. He didn’t bother looking at Pam to see if she’d noticed.
“Nevermind. Thank you anyway…” he paused. “For the envelopes.” Oscar waved awkwardly and walked back to his desk. If he just so happened to walk past Andy’s desk in the process, it was only because Creed was just standing in the middle of where he’d normally walk, just staring out into space. This was the second-best route to his desk.
He kept his eyes on his screen for the remainder of the day, only straying once to shake his head disapprovingly at Angela. When the day was over, and he made his way to leave, he was surprised when Pam came out the door and stopped him before he got on the elevator. Pam handed him the small, individually wrapped marshmallow peep with a wink and headed back into the office. So she’d definitely noticed earlier. Whatever feelings of humiliation that were running through him had quickly disappeared when he tossed the treat to Andy, who looked at him like he’d just given him something far more precious than a disgusting piece of pure sugar.
Either way, that look was the reason he left earlier for work than usual, deliberately made the right at the stoplight, and parked in the satellite parking lot. He stayed in his car for a good ten minutes debating on whether or not he should just drive to his much closer and way more convenient parking spot but decided just to screw it and ended up power-walking to the office by himself rather than wait for Andy and explain to him why he was there in the first place. It was all for the best because, honestly, he wasn’t sure he could give him any rational explanation other than, ‘You fascinate me for some reason I cannot quite understand, but I can’t keep myself from wanting to find out.’
He didn’t have much time to dwell on such thoughts because he walked into a literal shit show at work. Michael admitted that he had misplaced his expense reports in either Chili’s, Applebee’s, or Friday’s, but he couldn’t remember which one, so he just gave them the previous month's expenses again. Kevin hadn’t caught it, and now they had a pretty big tax issue if they couldn’t fix it. The problem was that, even though they’d called all three restaurants and tracked down the missing documents, all the expenses were submitted in one big report, so they’d need to go line by line which would take hours. Not trusting Kevin, Oscar ended up taking a taxi to the Benihana’s because, of course, it wasn’t any of the three Michael had initially suggested to pick up the papers. Of all the days to have not parked close.
When he returned to the office, he was heads-down for most of the day with a pen and a highlighter doing his best to tune out Angela berating the two of them. There were several moments when he felt like he was being watched, but he was almost certain it was just Angela glaring at him.
Finding all of the duplicates was the worst part, but once they were able to identify them and had the missing documents in hand, submitting corrections was a breeze. He couldn’t believe they’d actually managed to finish it all by the end of the day, and at ten past 5 PM, he was at his desk and putting his coat on. He had to stop in Michael’s office on the way out to explain that everything had been sorted out, which only took five minutes but was five minutes longer than he’d prefer to spend in Michael’s company at any given time if he was being completely honest. He was slightly saddened to see that Andy had left for the day, meaning he’d basically parked 10 minutes away for no reason.
He walked out the door and let out a tsk of annoyance seeing the elevator doors just close, but that quickly turned to surprise at seeing Andy standing in front of the elevator. He hadn’t been at his desk when he got to Michael’s office, so the fact that he was still there seemed slightly odd. He wasn't sure he completely bought that the elevator was full, but it had been such a long day that he wasn’t going to bother questioning it.
The ride down was awkward, only made more awkward when Andy pointed out they were going in the same direction. Even though he had expected this conversation, he still felt embarrassed about it. The mature adult thing to do here would be to tell Andy that he enjoyed the odd friendship they’d struck up in the two weeks they’d been forced to park in the satellite lot. However, after an excruciating day of being treated like a child for something that was in no way his fault, Oscar couldn’t find the strength to open himself up for additional ridicule. That’s not to say Andy would do that, but Oscar had trust issues, so he went with a line about how he hadn’t been feeling his best since the Fun Run, and this was a good excuse as any to get back into some daily cardio. Thankfully Andy bought it with little question and a lot of excitement. He only felt a little bit bad about lying to him.
When Andy stumbled on what appeared to be absolutely nothing, Oscar grabbed his arm to keep him from falling face-first onto the ground. Andy was really close to him, and Oscar wondered quite randomly if he smelled okay. It was pretty warm in the conference room, and he had done a bit of running around at lunch, and now he was walking. He’d make sure to go a little heavier on the cologne tomorrow, just in case. Andy was looking down at the ground, presumably trying to find something to blame other than the obviously inappropriate footwear he was wearing.
“Maybe you should think about bringing a pair of sneakers and then changing back into your nicer shoes when you get to the office?” Oscar looked at his own shoes, and that wasn’t actually a bad idea. Eventually, they reached their respective cars, and they both stood next to them, clearly wanting to say something but taking a long enough pause that Oscar felt that any conversation they’d have would be awkward and forced.
“See you Monday?” he asked instead. God, he needed a drink. What a stupid question. Of course, he’d see him on Monday. He didn’t even bother to ask Andy if he was even okay with Oscar parking in the satellite lot with him. What if he used that time to mentally prepare himself for a long day at the dumpster fire that was Dunder Mifflin?
He agonized over it all weekend which proved to be a massive waste of his time because Andy looked downright thrilled to see him and even more excited that their timing was perfect. He did not mention the fact that he actually arrived 15 minutes before Andy but stood parked on the corner trying to decide whether or not he should just drive to the lot at work. Just as he decided to forget it all, Andy’s car pulled into the satellite lot, and, well, he was already wearing sneakers, so he was just going to do it.
While he just wore his regular, not used as often as they should be, sneakers, Andy had gone out and bought a new pair specifically for work. He said that the previous ones he owned were unsalvageable after the Fun Run, which he wasn’t quite sure what that meant but wasn’t going to ask him either.
“They’re nice shoes, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t really go that well with your suit,” Oscar observed. On any other day, his sneakers would’ve been fine. He was used to seeing Andy in bright colors, so the addition of the sneakers wouldn’t have been too over the top. However, he was wearing a dark blue suit with a matching tie. No sweater vest, no bow tie. Just the bright blue sneakers with the orange line. They definitely stood out.
“It’s just for walking. I have my…” Andy froze and looked down at his hands and then back at Oscar with wide eyes. “I left all my stuff in the car.” Andy winced. Oscar looked at his watch, and if they were quick about it, they’d be able to make it just in time, possibly a minute late.
He turned to Andy, who looked genuinely upset. “We have time, Andy. It’s fine,” Oscar reassured him.
“I don’t even remember if I locked the car.” Andy ran his hands through his hair.
“Come on.” Oscar started walking in the opposite direction back to the lot. “We can make it.”
They walked quickly back to Andy’s car, where he grabbed his stuff, locked the door, and apologized profusely the entire time.
“It’s Monday. These things happened.”
“Oh man, Oscar. If Angela were here right now, she’d be so mad at me.” Andy wrinkled up his nose.
“I’d say you’d lost your mind, but that would mean you’d actually have a brain to lose,” Andy made his voice higher as though he was Angela talking to him. Oscar felt genuine anger on Andy’s behalf.
“She’s not very nice to you,” Oscar told him with complete honesty. She behaved horribly to Andy, and most of the time, he didn’t deserve it. Yes, he’d have his obnoxious days, but that was still no excuse for anyone to be treated that way. Unfortunately, Andy didn’t seem to want to hear any of this and shot down the rest of the conversation. Angela was a touchy subject, one that he now knew to stay clear of.
The rest of the week went by as well as could be expected. Instead of talking about things they didn’t like, they would talk about restaurants they’ve been to and books they’ve been reading. He knew that last bit was a slight dig about the Finer Things Club, but Andy had said it more teasing than upset, so Oscar just laughed and talked about books with him. What Pam and Toby didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.
Then Thursday happened. It was the day that if you asked Oscar years from now when he knew that he was interested in more than friendship with Andy Bernard, he’d pinpoint it to this specific day. Dwight had gone to help Angela get some supplies out of the warehouse, and a call had come in for him. The man on the phone was adamant about wanting to speak to someone right now and not waiting for a callback.
When Pam had announced the call to the rest of the sales team, they all seemed rather hesitant to take it. It wouldn’t be the first time any of them had been on a call with a customer who was angry from the get-go and would start throwing out phrases like bait and switch before hanging up the phone. The worst part was that it was only 30 minutes until the end of the day, and historically, these calls usually lasted a while.
After a quick “Rock paper scissors” with Jim, Andy had been left to take the call. When Dwight returned 20 minutes later, he was furious and accused Pam of trying to sabotage him. Jim then jumped in to defend Pam, and it became an entire scene. While this was happening, Andy was in the middle of what looked like intense negotiations.
Jim and Pam had taken one look at Dwight and his calculating stare at Andy and decided that they were going to stay and watch as Andy attempted to close the sale. They whispered back and forth for a while before Jim noticed Oscar standing not too far away. Oscar hoped he wouldn’t actually come over and talk to him, but today just wasn’t his lucky day, it seemed.
“He has no chance,” Jim said as a matter of fact as Oscar watched from the wall near Michael’s desk about an hour into the call.
“Hmmm?” He asked, not taking his eyes off Andy.
“Don’t me wrong, I’m really rooting for the guy,” Jim said. Oscar rolled his eyes because he didn’t believe that for one second. “But he’s the worst salesman we’ve got, and from what Pam told me, this guy is going to eat him alive if Dwight doesn’t get there first.”
“Sure, that number of boxes is plenty if you’re a small business or a start-up…” Andy said to the man in a tone that Oscar hadn’t quite heard from him before. “But someone who has been in business as long as you have with the reach your company has in the Greater Philadelphia Region?” Andy sat quietly for a moment and wrote something down.
“I wouldn't count him out just yet,” Oscar said with a smug smile and went back to watching as Andy handled himself with a confidence that was borderline arousing. As Oscar shook that completely inappropriate thought about his unavailable and straight co-worker out of his head, he noticed Dwight inching closer toward Andy’s desk. Specifically, he was holding a stick that looked the perfect length to turn off the power strip at Andy’s workstation. Oscar grabbed a folder and pretended to read it as he walked in front of Dwight and ‘accidentally’ knocked the stick out of his hand and across the office.
“Oh.” Oscar looked up in surprise. “Sorry about that, Dwight,” he said with an insincere look on his face. Dwight was furious, but not more so than when Andy thanked the man for his business and hung up the phone with a shell-shocked expression on his face.
“Well?” Jim asked as the remainder of their coworkers looked on.
“3,000 reams,” Andy said in disbelief. The noise was deafening. That was the single biggest sale they’d made in over two years. Jim slapped Andy on the shoulder in congratulations, while Phyllis looked on with a proud smile.
“Way to go, Andy!” Kevin gave him a fist bump which Andy returned, almost unaware.
“Outstanding.” Oscar smiled at him. Andy looked at Oscar, and he finally smiled.
“Oh, my GOD!” Andy shouted as he stood up and tossed his pen onto his desk. It was a good day.
It had also taken long enough that the sun had set not long ago, and it was darker than Oscar would prefer when walking the half-mile back to his car, but Andy’s good mood was so infectious that he hardly cared.
“And then he was like, ‘Are you trying to bait and switch me, boy?’ and I was like, ‘Sir, I am a man of the sea first, and a salesman second. The only baiting I do is with a pole!’ and he added another 500 reams! Can you believe it?” Andy told him with excitement. Well, at least that part of the conversation now made a bit more sense.
Andy turned quickly to face him and began doing an impression of the guy sputtering when Andy call him out on something he’d said when movement behind Andy’s back caught his eye. The junkyard dog was quickly approaching the gate at a high speed, and Andy’s back was practically pressed up against it. Without thinking, Oscar reached out and grabbed Andy’s jacket and pulled him to him as hard as possible. Andy stumbled forward in shock into Oscar’s chest as the dog loudly barked.
Oscar moved his head with barely enough time to keep Andy’s chin from slamming into his face, which was a plus. The downside, if you’d consider it that, is that Andy was now pressed up against him with Oscar’s head practically buried in the man's neck, and he could hear his heart pounding from the adrenaline.
“Oh, God!” Andy gasped.
“Are you okay?” Oscar asked. Andy took a step back that was so small it could hardly be considered a respectable distance.
Were his eyes always this blue? Oscar looked away quickly as the last thing he wanted to do is come off as creepy. However, as they were still standing rather close to each other, the only other place to look was at his lips. He could’ve also looked left or right, but he had already decided that this was not his finest moment.
“Yeah…” Andy cleared his throat, and Oscar took an awkwardly large step away from him. “We should…” Andy nodded towards the other side of the street, and Oscar quickly agreed as they made their way as far away from the barking dog and whatever the hell the moment was as physically possible.
He hated to be a cliche, but it was definitely a moment. So much so that he felt physically awkward in a way that he couldn’t remember feeling around a man in years. Oscar took an extra step to his right when they crossed the street to keep a little extra distance between them. He was really glad for the poor lighting that would’ve otherwise given away the embarrassed flush on his face.
When they arrived at their cars, Oscar glanced over at Andy, who looked like he was on the verge of saying something which was probably a bad idea on many levels. Suddenly he was glad that he had taken Friday off. He had enough going on tomorrow that he really didn’t need anything else to pile on top of it.
“Congratulations again, Andy. Really great work tonight.” Oscar waved from his open window as he drove away. He looked down at his phone with a roll of his eyes at the text message that had come through.
Still on for tomorrow afternoon?
Oscar was tempted to ignore it, but it was already late, and as much as he was dreading this, he knew it was best to just get it over with.
Come by around one. I have some things to take care of in the morning. Oscar responded to the text and tossed it on the passenger seat. He was probably overexaggerating it. It wasn’t going to be that bad.
It was that bad.
Gil had knocked on his front door at 1:00 PM on the dot, which Oscar found obnoxious for some reason. He took a deep breath before opening the door. He was an adult, and they’d been broken up for a while. This was fine.
“Oh, I wasn’t sure you were home.” Gil looked down at his watch. It was now 1:01 PM.
“I said I would be.” Oscar opened the door to let him in. Gil picked up the box from the ground and brought it into Oscar’s house, and put it down on the coffee table.
“Thank you,” Oscar said awkwardly. Gil just let out a hmmf noise of acknowledgment in response and pretended to be interested in the decor of Oscar’s living room which definitely hasn’t changed since they broke up.
“How have you been?” Gil asked, and Oscar tried to keep the grimace from his face. Where they really doing this?
“I’ve been good. How about you?” Oscar responded politely.
“I’m wonderful. Still at the paper company?” And there it is.
“You know that I am,” Oscar responded.
“And you know that you’re too good for that place.”
“Again, not new information.” Oscar knew he was being a bit immature, but he was tired of rehashing this conversation.
“Is the attitude really necessary, Oscar?”
“Is your insistence on having an opinion on things that are of no concern to you really necessary, Gil?”
Gil stared at him quietly for a moment before breaking eye contact and looking down at his fingernails. “Fair enough.”
“What are you doing here? Really? It’s been what?” Oscar tried to remember, but everything blurred together these days.
“Ten months,” Gil confirmed with a frown. Jesus. Had it really been that long already?
“Not that I don’t appreciate you returning my…” Oscar opened the box and looked inside. “Half empty bottle of aftershave, but you could’ve tossed most of this or just dropped it off when I was at work.”
Gil looked around the living room for a moment before meeting Oscar’s eyes. “We were really good together.” Oh, no. “I know what you’re going to say, and I am not saying this lightly.”
“Gil, please. Don’t do this.” Oscar really wished this wasn’t his house because he wasn’t sure he could handle this conversation right now, or ever and leaving was not an option.
Sure, they worked for a while, but the spark just wasn’t there anymore. The end of their relationship was hard on both of them. The constant arguments, Gil’s pressuring Oscar to leave his job, and Oscar not wanting to move in together. Ending their relationship was the best thing that they could’ve done as individuals and as a couple. He wasn’t exactly happy, and sure, he got lonely at times, but he didn’t have that feeling of pressure and inadequacy that would often suffocate him at night when Gil was sleeping beside him.
“Alright.” Gil’s shrugged in defeat. “I just missed you, is all.”
“I want to say we can be friends, but I think you and I know that just wouldn’t work.” Oscar wanted to be honest with him. He deserved that much as least, but then… “Oh, God. What? You’ve got that expression.”
“What expression?” Gil asked, feigning ignorance. That was another thing that used to drive him insane about this man.
“The one where you want to say something, but you know it’ll probably upset me, so you just wait until I ask you so you can blame it on me.” Oscar crossed his arms defensively. Gil continued to hold the expression just long enough to realize that Oscar wasn’t falling for it. His expression turned serious, and Oscar braced himself.
“Is there someone else?” Gil asked. Oscar raised his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn’t expected that but because Oscar didn’t want to think about it. He specifically didn’t want to think about one person in particular. However, Gil was always frustratingly good at reading him. “There is,” Gil said with a sad smile.
“No.” Oscar shook his head in denial. “There’s just the idea of someone else.”
Gil stared at him for a long time after that with a blank expression, and Oscar felt a calmness come over him. He could just feel them finally getting closure when Gil suddenly let out a disbelieving scoff that threw Oscar for a loop.
“Are you really letting me down with a line from You’ve Got Mail?” Gil rolled his eyes. “That’s so typical of you.”
“What are you talking about?” Oscar frowned at him for a moment before it clicked. Oh, God. He really did just do that. How mortifying.
“Oh, you’re playing dumb, really?” Gil rubbed his hand over his face and let out a long breath. “I think I should go. It was nice to see you, Oscar. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“You as well,” Oscar said awkwardly as he watched Gil let himself out.
Well, that could’ve gone better.
He walked over to the box and rooted around quickly. There wasn’t much there, mostly junk. Little things you accumulate when you share parts of your life with someone. Oscar wondered what would Andy’s box would look like. If he and Angela had broken up and she had shown up with a box of his things. Had they gotten far enough in their relationship for Andy to have left little things behind? He doubted it. Angela didn’t seem the type to hold on to things for sentimental reasons.
Oscar closed the box and took it to his garage, and put it in a corner to be dealt with later. Dealing with it would likely entail just putting it on the curb during trash day, but Gil did bring it all the way over here, so the least he could do is wait until Monday to get rid of it. Turning out the garage light, Oscar made his way back to his living room and wondered if it was too early for a drink.
He wasn’t lying when he told Gil there was the idea of someone else. You’ve Got Mail was a guilty pleasure that he may have watched two nights ago when it was on TBS. It made complete sense that lines from the movie were on his mind. Also, maybe he has a thing for Greg Kinnear. Sue him. Besides, the line was the dream of someone else, not the idea of someone else, so really, he hadn’t quoted the movie at all, so Gil was definitely out of line.
Where was he going with that again? Right. The idea of someone else. A bit more than an idea, if he was being honest. More like a possibility. Maybe. A week ago, he would’ve said that Andy was completely heterosexual and off-limits. But something about the night before and the way he reacted after the incident with the dog. There was interest there. Oscar could feel it. He’d never in a million years actually acted on it first because he wasn’t that much of a masochist. The best thing to do is use this weekend to relax, recharge, and not think about men at all. Not ones from his past, and for sure not ones he shouldn’t be on his mind in the first place. No matter how good he smelled and how nice his eyes were. No, he would not go down that road at all. It was a great plan.
It was a terrible plan.
Oscar pulled into the satellite lot on Monday, and after spending all week in a fight with himself over the utterly ridiculous notion of pursuing a romantic relationship with Andy Bernard, he decided that after today he’d tell Andy that this would be his last day walking to work with him.
He managed to make a list of pros and cons because, apparently, he was twelve years old now. The list of cons practically took up its own page. He was annoying and loud, and sometimes (okay, most times), he dressed like he was going to church on Easter. He never stops singing, and his anger issues are borderline concerning. He is pretty terrible at his job most days, and oh that's right, there was the one minor detail of the fact that he was currently in a relationship. With a woman. A horrible, horrible woman, but a woman nonetheless.
End of discussion. End of whatever insanity had been going on in Oscar’s head for the last few weeks. It was never going to happen.
“Hey, Andy. I hope you had a nice weekend,” Oscar said in a friendly tone because they were friends. That is all.
“I think I need to break up with Angela,” Andy shouted back in response, and Oscar hated that he had to tell himself not to smile and to ignore that disgusting pain in his chest that felt like hope. There were more important things happening here, and Oscar shook himself out of his own drama to concentrate on Andy.
“Why do we just sit in my car for a bit?” Oscar guided Andy to his car, and when Andy was safely in the passenger seat, Oscar closed the door and walked around to the driver's seat. He repeated his cons list rapid-fire in his brain and took a deep breath before getting in.
“It’s been three days. What happened?” Oscar asked. Things seemed fine last week, and he was only out of the office on Friday. Maybe they had a bad date, or something happened over the weekend?
“I forgot to call her,” Andy explained, and Oscar frowned. If this were any other woman, he would’ve understood, but this was Angela. She was someone who would appreciate being left alone and not someone who would get into a fight because you didn’t call.
“And she yelled at you.” It was more of a statement than a question, but Andy shook his head.
“No, Oscar. She didn’t even care. That’s the point.” Andy looked at him miserably, and Oscar dug his nails into his thigh to keep from reaching out to comfort him. “I put the reminder somewhere that I know she’d see it. She should’ve been furious at me, but she didn’t even say anything.”
On the one hand, Oscar was pleased that Andy finally saw this relationship for what it was. On the other, Andy looked honestly sad about it, which bothered him. He deserved more than a one-sided farce of a relationship. Especially one where he had no proof but was fairly certain that Angela’s interests and attention lay with a different salesman. Not that it was his place to say.
They sat there quietly for a few moments. Andy leaned his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes. “I don’t even think she likes me.”
“I’m sure she likes you…” Oscar winced. It felt wrong to lie to him, but the man had already been kicked while he was down.
“I mean, isn’t that the first rule of dating someone? You actually have to like the person?” Andy asked with sad eyes, and Oscar looked away. The first thing that came to mind was the sheet of paper currently sitting on his kitchen table and the last of the four items under the pros column. I like him.
“That is pretty important, I agree.” Oscar nodded. “I’m sorry, Andy.” Oscar raised his hand as though he was going to touch his arm in a comforting gesture but second-guessed himself and dropped it before he actually made contact. They sat quietly for a minute before Andy let out a dramatically loud sigh and asked Oscar about his weekend.
“Gil called and wanted to bring by some of my things that he hadn’t gotten around to returning after we broke up last summer.” He pointedly left out the crisis he had for a day and a half over the man sitting to his right.
“Oh,” Andy frowned, which was… interesting and not the reaction he expected from him. “That was nice of him.”
“Yeah, it was all junk; I think he just wanted an excuse to talk about getting back together.” Andy looked upset now, and that horrible feeling of hope suddenly didn’t feel so horrible. Especially when Andy said he was happy for him even though his face looked as though that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“I hope you’ll be super happy together and live your best gay lives. Together. In love.” Oscar looked at him and the grimace on his face, and he couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped.
“I told him under no circumstances that us getting back together was a possibility,” Oscar admitted, an amused look on his face. Andy turned so quickly that Oscar was worried he had hurt himself.
“Why?” Andy was smiling now, and Oscar returned it for just a moment before looking down at his hands. He squeezed them tight, and still, he refrained from reaching out and taking Andy’s hand in his own.
“I guess I’ve just moved on.” Oscar shrugged. The idea of someone else that no longer was only an idea and seemingly more than just a possibility by the second.
“I’m breaking up with Angela.” Oscar turned to meet his eyes. There was zero doubt, based on the look that Andy was giving him, that this wasn’t just about breaking up with Angela.
“Good,” Oscar responded.
“Will you have dinner with me? Y’know? After…” Andy looked nervous, and Oscar finally reached out and laid a gentle hand on his wrist.
“I’d like that.” Oscar smiled.
And as nice as this moment was, they still had to go to work. Also, as this surprising but poorly timed conversation took a lot longer than their normal 10-minute walk to the office, they decided to drive together, at least for today. They’d have plenty of chances to walk together in the future. Oscar was going to wait until their next one to ask Andy how he planned to break up with Angela.
Much to his surprise, he walked with Oscar to his desk, and he’d barely gotten his coat off before Andy blurted to Angela, “I am breaking up with you.”
It was then that Oscar was reminded, oh right, this man is absolutely ridiculous. He was about to whisper to Andy that maybe the two of them should take it to a conference room when Angela turned in her chair to face him fully with a frown.
“No,” She said simply.
“Excuse me?” “What?” Andy and Oscar said at the same time. She didn’t spare a look for Oscar, but he could tell she very much did not appreciate his unintentional reaction.
“We’re not breaking up,” Angela said slowly, like she was scolding a toddler, and then turned to face her desk. Andy looked at her incredulously and listed off all the reasons why they shouldn’t be together, and it was quite a list. The entire office just stopped and stared. It was like watching a trainwreck. Or a telenovela. Either way, Oscar didn’t know if he should break it up or go make popcorn.
“... and most of all, you don’t even like me!” Andy threw his hands up in the air.
“That’s hardly the point.” Angela rolled her eyes at him.
It went on for another few horrifying minutes, but eventually, Angela just looked at him, said, “Fine,” and that was the end of it.
Toby told everyone to get back to work, and with a mostly collective groan, the show was over. Angela wasn’t pleased, but Andy was. Oscar was. Dwight definitely was. Which should’ve been odd had Oscar not already been convinced he and Angela were still fooling around.
Andy had given him a relieved look before heading back to his desk, which Angela had unfortunately caught. Oscar ignored her glare throughout the day. He was pretty sure she thought he’d put Andy up to it, which was a fair assumption but entirely inaccurate. It was going to be even harder to convince her of that if and when they all found out that Andy had asked him out on a date. Not that he planned to talk to her about it at all. Andy didn’t cheat on her, and they were broken up, so it really wasn’t any of her business who he went out with.
That didn’t stop her from having him work late that evening. He told Andy that was going to be another hour, so he should head home, and he’d see him tomorrow. When Oscar finally finished up, he found Andy in the parking lot, his car parked next to Oscar’s.
“I thought you’d left?” Oscar asked in surprise.
“I like you,” Andy blurted, and Oscar’s mouth opened in surprise. “It’s important to me that you know that. And that you also know that when I asked you to have dinner with me, I meant not as friends.” Andy was talking quickly, and Oscar wanted to respond and would as soon as Andy would actually let him get a word in.
“Not that I don’t want to be your friend. You’re awesome and one of the best friends I have, actually. But being with Angela made me realize that I should probably be super clear so there is no misunderstanding about what I want. I want you to have dinner with me as my date.”
Oscar waited patiently for Andy to finish, and considering he looked like he was going to have a stroke any second now if Oscar didn’t respond, he assumed he was done.
“That’s what I thought you meant.” Oscar watched as Andy finally took a breath. “And I’d love to have dinner with you.” Oscar smiled. “As your date.”
“That’s awesome.” Andy did a little bit of a hop before walking around to his driver's side door. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow morning. Same time?”
“Same place,” Oscar confirmed.
“I can’t wait,” Andy said as he got into his car, and Oscar couldn’t have agreed more. He set a reminder for himself to send the W.B. Jones guys a muffin basket.