Chapter Text
Anna was done with SHIELD.
After nearly being killed on a mission that no doubt went south right from the start, she decided she no longer wanted to be apart of this organization. Instead she wanted to continue through school and major in Journalism with a minor in sociology; she wanted to learn how the two fields of study could come together.
She took one last look around her room. The one item yet to be packed away was a framed picture of her and Natasha at the triple wedding ceremony in which they were both bridesmaids. “Oh, Nat. I miss you,” she said to herself, staring at the photo. Grabbing one of her SHIELD-issue t-shirts, she lifted the frame from its place on the nightstand and wrapped the shirt around it to protect the glass.
“So I hear you’re leaving us,” a voice spoke after gently knocking twice on the door, She turned around to see Clint standing there.
“I can’t do this anymore, Clint,” she answered as she sat down on the bed. Clint took the chair by the desk and rolled closer to her. “I can’t risk getting killed again.”
“Unfortunately that’s part of the job. Every time we take on a mission there’s always that chance.”
“And even if something were to happen to me, I don’t think God would want me to be with Him this early. I have many more miles to travel.”
“All of us have many miles. But remember, God’s timing is not our timing,” Clint reminded her.
“I’m just not as brave as I thought I was. Jedi training was easy, but this? This was harder.”
“Do you know how many times Nat said something along those words to me?” Clint asked. Anna shook her head no. “Let’s just say if I had a dollar for every time she said it, I could’ve probably built an extension onto my house and I wouldn’t have been in debt,” he said with a smile.
“I felt like I said it a lot of times too during my training,” Anna answered.
“Not as much as Nat. But despite all those complaints, she became one of SHIELD’s best agents. She would train new agents alongside me or Coulson, but you were the first that she ever took completely under her wing. She trained you so well that whenever you and I sparred, I had to remember it was you and not her.” He paused to take a breath. “Anna, please stay. I was going to ask Coulson to make you my new partner.”
She did her best to hold back tears at Clint’s plea. Sensing this, Clint stood and gently pulled her to her feet and into his arms. Part of her didn’t want to leave; SHIELD had become her second home, even more so than her college that she left last year. However it was time to move on.
Time to do something different.
“I’m sorry, Clint,” she murmured into his chest. “There’s nothing left for me here.”
Clint sighed as she left his arms to grab a tissue. “May God be with you, and please keep in touch,”
“I will. Tell Laura and the kids I’ll visit them soon.”
“They would love to see you again. Lila is really starting to like you,” he said as he turned to leave. “Oh, the real reason I came in here,” he said pulling something from his back pocket. “You left this in Nat’s bag.”
“And I promised her I would read it when I was feeling better,” she said taking the envelope from him. “I’ll be sure to read it on the plane.”
“OK,” he responded, trying to hide the hurt. He hoped that she would read it before she left.
He gave her one more hug and left the room. Knowing he was losing another close friend made his heart hurt and he wished he would’ve opened the envelope himself and read the letter out loud to her as he knew what it contained. But part of him also knew that those were Natasha’s last words to Anna and he wanted to respect her privacy.
Feeling guilty about telling Clint she would wait to read Nat’s letter, she moved her luggage off the bed and next to the door. She had about fifteen minutes before Dr. Anderson would take her to the airport so she grabbed the envelope from her purse and sat at her desk chair and tore it open. The handwriting was a little messy, but she could tell Natasha had written it.
Anna,
I am so sorry for the tears that stain this piece of paper. Anyway, by the time you read this, I will already be in Heaven; free of any chemical and battle scars, no more nightmares and no more flashbacks. I’m free, and I’m home. I’m so sorry that I was afraid to die; I knew where I was going, but the thought of death and the reason why was terrifying. I didn’t want it to be this way.
I can’t thank you enough for coming into my life and teaching me about God and His love for me. I also want to thank you for allowing me to be your S.O. and to train you as an agent. Even though I’m one of SHIELD’s best, I didn’t think that would ever be possible. There’s a tradition in SHIELD that when a new agent masters the skills of their S.O. or any agent, then that agent is given the name of whoever they follow. Anna, you have mastered my skillset and I couldn’t be prouder. Because of that, I am passing on the mantle of “Natasha Romanoff” to you.
I also have two other requests for you. As you know, Steve and I were applying for adoption and wanted to adopt a baby girl who was abandoned at a hospital. I don’t know if the adoption will be granted, but I want you to be the Godmother. I have already asked Clint to be the Godfather and he accepted. I know none of us are Catholic, but the idea of two people raising a child to grow spiritually is beautiful to me and I can’t think of a better person to do that other than you. I want you to teach our daughter the same things you taught me: that God loves her so much that he was willing to send His son to die for her on a cross.
My second request is for you to take my place as second-in-command of SHIELD. Now I know you’ve only been at SHIELD for two and a half years and I should probably be asking Steve, but like I mentioned above, you have taken on my skillset very proficiently and I believe that you would be a great leader. You’ve already led us spiritually; I think you are more than capable of handling a team. I have already spoken to Coulson about this before I left on this mission saying I wanted this should the worst happen to me and he agreed.
I hope you will consider both of my requests. I can tell that SHIELD has become your family as it has become mine years ago, along with the Avengers. I’ll leave it up to you whether you want to be an Avenger yourself, but know that if you do, you are in good hands.
In Christ,
Nat
Anna let the tears fall as she re-read the letter, cherishing her friend’s positive words and the requests she asked of her. She knew that Natasha only trusted a handful of people, so it was a huge honor to be one of them. Drying her tears once again, she opened her door and walked down the hall toward Coulson’s office.
“This is for you, Nat,” she said to herself. “This is for you.”
Coulson was quite surprised to see Anna in his office doorway again. He thought she had already said her good-bye to him when she handed him her ID badge.
“Yes, Miss Flannigan?” he asked motioning her to sit down.
“Sir, I want to honor Agent Romanoff’s request,” she responded, handing him the letter. “Read the last paragraph.”
Coulson skimmed the paper and smiled. He knew about this before Anna had even mentioned it, but didn’t want to say anything to her. Then again, Natasha ordered him not to bring it up saying she wanted to ask her herself and it had to be Anna’s choice.
“And I’m happy to make this happen. Natasha made the right choice. Also, I just got a call from Steve’ the court granted the adoption.”
“You mean he’s a father?”
“Yes he is. Her name is Natalie Laura Rogers; he’s already calling her Nat.”
“Awww, that is so sweet. I’m sure Natasha would be smiling right now.”
“Yeah, she would be,” he responded opening his desk drawer. “Here’s your ID back and the key to Nat’s office. Welcome back, Agent Flannigan.”
“When’s Steve coming back?”
“Later today. I think the social worker is helping him buy some baby things.”
“I’m excited to meet her. Did you know Nat asked Clint and me to be the Godparents?”
“I’m not surprised. Both of you have made a huge impact in her life. Clint saved her physically and mentally, and you saved her spiritually.”
The two shook hands and she left his office to go back to her room to grab one thing before heading to her new workspace; the picture she had wrapped in a t-shirt not more than ten minutes ago. She wanted it to sit on her desk so she could look at it every day.
Taking a deep breath, she turned the key and stepped into what was now her office. “You’ll always be in my heart, Nat,” she said as she placed the frame on an open corner of the desk. “Always.”