Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

yoongi takes some time to let the idea marinate in his mind. he considers ways he could approach namjoon in a calm way, ways he could bring up what he wants to talk about, how he could avoid further conflict between them. of course, yoongi isn’t expecting forgiveness nor is he expecting them to be friends again, but namjoon was already in jimin’s life, but now they have even more friends in common. it’ll be too difficult to go on like this. maybe that could be a good excuse.

he wants to talk about it to someone, but he doesn’t really know who the right person would be. he considers seokjin, but there’s a bit of a cultural barrier there. seokjin isn’t american, and he doesn’t have the same experiences of growing up in the area that yoongi, jimin, and namjoon did. it’s completely different living in los angeles as an adult, rather than as a child of immigrants. jimin is completely out of the question as namjoon’s boyfriend.

jeongguk could be good to get it off his chest, but he really doesn’t want to put that kind of burden on their fresh relationship. that’s a lot of pressure and yoongi isn’t about to hand it off to someone he’s still getting to know properly. alex and kabir aren’t really a good idea either because they don’t even know namjoon. which sort of leaves yoongi in the dark, with the last option being yoonseo, but she would probably make fun of him first before helping him. 

well, whatever, yoongi only has the idea of it. he keeps it on the back burner on low heat, just letting it simmer for a little while so he doesn’t have to worry about it. on other notes, he and jeongguk’s relationship is slowly becoming less of a secret. yoongi’s pretty sure that his mother has caught onto it, and that so has seokjin, but they both seem a little indifferent to it. yoongi knows his mother has grown to be a little more acceptant of his identity. his father remains ignorant about it. 

yoongi has plans to break the news to jimin about it, probably in a gentle way that doesn’t overwhelm him or cause him to become overly-emotional. that plan ultimately fails when one wednesday afternoon, jeongguk comes into the restaurant and goes straight for a hug without even saying hello. yoongi catches his boyfriend in his arms, stumbling a couple of steps back, shoulders bumping into the window he’d been cleaning. jeongguk smells faintly of soap as he buries his face into yoongi’s neck.

his grip doesn’t let up even when yoongi squirms a little. eventually, yoongi lets himself relax into it and drops the washcloth he’s holding to tighten his arms around jeongguk’s torso, even with his backpack still on. he rubs his back lightly and kisses his shoulder, angling them away from where jimin could possibly see his expression. jeongguk breathes heavily and sniffles a little, and that’s when yoongi feels his shirt start to get wet.

this time when yoongi tries to pull away, jeongguk lets him do so. yoongi takes jeongguk face in his hands to try and see what’s going on. his cheeks are stained with tears, nose reddened, ears just the same. he shuts his eyes and sniffles, trying to smile through it, and yoongi already knows there’s an apology on his tongue. he shushes jeongguk before he can say it. 

“don’t,” he says quietly and wipes against his soft skin with his thumb, reaching into the pocket of his half-apron for a napkin. “it’s okay to cry, you know?” yoongi dabs lightly on jeongguk’s cheeks and just beneath his eyes, then kisses the tip of his nose. jeongguk smiles a little and laughs, trying to hide his face, but yoongi holds him in place. “why don’t i take my break now? and you can tell me what’s wrong. is that okay?”

jeongguk just nods rapidly and takes off his backpack, leaving it in the spot behind the counter, where he always does, as they walk past jimin. yoongi doesn’t give him so much of a glance, knowing he would have to stop right then and there to explain himself, so he only leads jeongguk up to his family's apartment for some privacy. he manages to sneak past his dad watching tv and into his bedroom, shutting the door behind them. 

he settles on his bed after taking off his half-apron, patting the spot in front of him gently. jeongguk hesitantly sits and looks around the room, his arms wrapping around himself, like he needs to hold something. yoongi looks around for a moment and grabs his pillow, pulling back one of jeongguk’s arms to place it in his grasp. jeongguk looks at him with wide eyes and bursts into tears all over again. 

“talk to me,” yoongi says with a frown, shuffling closer and putting his arm around jeongguk’s waist to bring him in. he sobs softly into yoongi’s neck, the pillow awkwardly between them, but neither of them make an effort to try and remove it. yoongi just rubs the back of jeongguk’s head to soothe him, wondering what could possibly be getting him this worked up. “can you tell me what’s wrong, jeongguk?”

jeongguk takes a deep breath, shaking and clearly still uneasy when he exhales. “i’m just—“ he says and hiccups, his hands fisting into yoongi’s shirt, pulling on the fabric. “i miss home so much. i miss my family and the friends i had there and the people, and it’s so hard being away from korea. of course it’s so much better being here at the same time, but then it’s not, and i’m so conflicted, hyung. i don’t want to feel like this, my chest hurts so much and i don’t want it.”

sighing, yoongi just pulls jeongguk closer, finally pushing away the pillow to fall to the floor. he pulls on each of jeongguk’s limbs, bringing him comfortably in his lap. jeongguk settles there without hesitation, legs stretching out behind yoongi, his forehead resting against yoongi’s. “i’m sorry i don’t know what that feels like,” yoongi says softly, wiping jeongguk’s cheeks when he notices he’s stopped crying again. “i really can’t give you advice or anything on how to make it feel better. i can only comfort you.”

“i know—i know, it’s just—you just know the things i need sometimes, so i came here right after class.”

yoongi laughs softly. “i’m just pretty good at reading body language. it’s just observing. you practically jumping on me made me think you needed a hug. you put your arms around yourself and squeezed, like you were thinking of holding something.”

jeongguk sniffles and wipes his nose with the napkin yoongi gave him earlier, taking in a shaky breath. “it’s a stuffed bunny. it’s in my bedroom in my apartment. it’s kind of big and stupid, but it’s from my parents when i was a toddler. it barely fit in my suitcase when i was coming here, but i couldn't leave without it.”

“that’s not stupid. get off me for a sec, i’ll show you my thing. i think it fell down last night.” yoongi climbs off his bed when jeongguk moves off of him, then lowers himself to look under his bed, reaching into it a little blindly. he pulls out some clothes that have gotten stuck there and throws those into a pile, then retrieves a teddy bear. he dusts it off, wrinkling his nose when a cloud of dust puffs up. “my sister won it for me at an amusement park when i was a kid."

a smile spreads over jeongguk's face, holding the teddy bear delicately. "it's cute. it has a bow," he murmurs and tugs at the red bow at the neck of the teddy bear. but it's been hanging by a thread for a long time now, so it just comes right off. yoongi blinks down at it, then looks up at jeongguk in disbelief. "i'm sorry, i didn't know it'd come off like that..."

"you de-bowed him."

jeongguk smiles apologetically. "i'm sorry, hyung..."

"it's fine. my mom can probably sew it back on or something like that," yoongi says and takes back the teddy bear a little protectively, setting it on the nightstand with the bow. he moves close to jeongguk again, comfortably throwing his legs over his lap. "i'm just trying to say that it's not stupid that you have that. most people are attached to tangible things like that, but just hide it from everyone."

jeongguk nods and sighs, sniffling again. "on the bright side," he says and smiles at yoongi, this one a tinge different from the others. yoongi can't put his finger on it. "if i hadn't come here to study, i never would have met you."

"god, that's corny. do you even know how corny your lines are?"

"i take a lot of them from k-dramas."

"are you serious?"

"very." jeongguk smiles again, nose scrunching up. "i would never joke about anything as serious as pick up lines."

yoongi huffs a little and mutters, "shut up," before kissing him. he presses his lips hard to jeongguk's, cutting off whatever response he had. jeongguk opens his mouth easily and presses his tongue past yoongi's lips, shifting on the bed. he pulls away and runs his hand through his hair, eyes scanning all over yoongi's face. 

fed up, yoongi grabs the pillow of the floor and places it back on the bed, lying back with his head against it. he pulls jeongguk on top of him, kissing him again. and again and again until they're both breathless, jeongguk's cheeks flushed and eyes wide, pupils massive. yoongi would rather cut them off now than accidentally push them into something too heated. 

jeongguk settles against him, curled up with his face tucked into yoongi's neck. yoongi takes out his phone and texts jimin to cover for him until he gets back, then powers off his phone so they could get some peace. yoongi sinks into the mattress and brings the blanket over them, fiddling with jeongguk's hair as a distraction. 

they're lying there for another ten minutes and he thinks jeongguk has fallen asleep when he hears him call, "yoongi-hyung?"

yoongi only hums in response and leaves his hand to rest on jeongguk's head. jeongguk's fingers trail over to yoongi's forearm, tracing the ink with such care that goosebumps raise. yoongi waits for him to continue, turning his head a little to look at the top of his head. 

"what exactly did you go to jail for?"

he should have known the question would come eventually. a person can only hold out their curiosity for so long and jeongguk is a very curious person. yoongi sighs and thinks back to the moment, the very one where the cop's flashlight blinded him. he was nothing but guilty. he tried to plead not-guilty during his trial, but it wasn't much use. the evidence was there and yoongi was guilty, so he gave in. 

yoongi takes a deep breath. "well, i had some low level charges when i was a minor. i got paid to steal some stuff, but i got caught on camera a couple of times. we call it petty theft."

"pet-ty theft," jeongguk repeats in english and nods against yoongi's neck. "okay. you want tell me in your language?"

"is that okay?"

"it's—okay. i'm better at english now."

yoongi smiles and smoothes his hand along jeongguk's arm, holding his hand gently. "i already had that when i got caught pretty much red handed. basically me and another guy broke into a shop and we didn't know there was someone inside. i had used my knife to unlock the door, then again to pry open the register. cut to a minute later and the owner's son comes out. 

"we're just kids, you know, i was only eighteen. but this guy started to yell at us, telling us to get out and shit like that. the guy i was with—we'll call him my friend even if he's not—he had a gun, but he ditched me when the cops arrived. whatever, but yeah—the owner's son. probably around my age now, he was threatening us."

yoongi closes his eyes and imagines it all playing out as he talks. "i had my knife and my friend had a gun, and the guy had a gun too. i put my knife down and tried to fight him because he was threatening us. it was a white guy a little smaller than me, but well, the neighborhood wasn't the safest. he knew what he was doing, but i was bigger so i kind of beat his ass."

he cracks a smile when jeongguk snorts, then giggles a little. "when the cops came, my friend ran out the back door with his gun and all. i picked up my knife again to try and leave too, and that was it. officer saw me and told me to put the knife down, so i did. he got me on the floor, my face bleeding and i could barely open my eyes. they put on the handcuffs, took me to the station, sat me in an interrogation room for a couple of hours."

"uh... why? they catch you, that's it, right?"

"i was a very minor part of a very big case. i didn't know it, but the crimes i committed were in association with some very bad people who were actually running a string of illegal clubs. whatever. they questioned me and processed me when they realized i didn't know anything. i spent a few nights in county jail before my court order. i eventually pleaded guilty because i didn't want to lie anymore."

jeongguk clears his throat and speaks in korean again. "wow. that's... quite the story."

yoongi runs his thumb over the back of jeongguk's hand, then presses his lips against it lightly. "yeah, i know," he says and jeongguk lifts his head, kissing yoongi's cheek. "i was stupid. it caused a lot of problems. my parents hated me for a while, and i lost some friends. only jimin stuck around and i'm really lucky he did."

"how long were you there for?" jeongguk's props himself up in his elbow and instead traces yoongi's face, over his nose and lips, the round of his cheeks. yoongi scrunches up his nose, but doesn't stop him, endeared by jeongguk's fascination with his features. 

"six months for assault, six for battery, and one year for brandishing weapon. but i only served a year and half after—why is your finger in my ear, you weirdo," yoongi says and grabs jeongguk's hand to push it away, scowling up at him. jeongguk leans down to kiss him again, seemingly unbothered by all this information. "how are you so chill about this?"

jeongguk shrugs and laughs. "i know you're not that person? you're twenty-five and this happened when you were eighteen. that's a long time, hyung, and i know that everyone's not what their past makes them out to be," he explains and yoongi sighs, wondering how he got lucky in meeting someone like jeongguk. he supposes he could attribute it to namjoon, but he's not so willing to give into that notion yet. "besides. what's the worst thing you've done since then?"

surprised by the question, yoongi takes a moment to think and comes up with, "i don't know. a few months ago, i accidentally left the grocery store without paying? and when i remembered, i went back and paid."

"oh my god," jeongguk mutters. "that's adorable."

"how is that adorable?" yoongi lightly flings his foot into jeongguk's knee. "i would have gone to jail again if i didn't."

"seriously?"

"i mean... yeah. i already have counts of theft on my record, so if i do it again, then i'm in trouble." he pauses for a couple of seconds. "well, actually, i don't know. they might've just fined me and given me community service, but who knows."

jeongguk only shakes his head and presses his lips to yoongi's, effectively shutting him up. he pulls away again and smiles with reassurance, brushing aside yoongi's bangs. "you're a good person, hyung. don’t doubt that. okay?”

yoongi runs his fingers through jeongguk’s hair, then rubs the back of his head. “okay.”

++

yoongi looks at his phone when he finishes cleaning up around the restaurant, his parents having long gone to san diego to visit his sister, and he's about to retreat upstairs to their apartment when there's banging on the back door. he furrows his eyebrows a little—it's ten pm, well after they've closed, so he has no idea who could be on the other side. well, no one except jimin and maybe jeongguk, so he's a little surprised when he sees seokjin on the other side. 

"did you forget something?" yoongi asks after they exchange greetings, leaning against the door frame. seokjin shakes his head, seeming a little more meek than usual. he shifts on his feet and that's when yoongi notices he's actually dressed in a halloween costume. or maybe it's not a costume, but a half-assed attempt at one. 

yoongi stifles a laugh as he takes in the chef's outfit, hair ruffled in a mess instead of stuffed under a cap like he's used to seeing him in. honestly, yoongi hasn't spent copious amounts of time outside of work with seokjin, but they have something of a brotherly bond. he's seen seokjin at least five times a week for the last five years, so they were bound to get close to each other in some aspect. 

"oh hyung," yoongi sighs, making a poor attempt to fight down his amused smile. "what are you supposed to be, exactly?"

seokjin huffs and waves the wooden spoon he's holding in the air. "gordon ramsay-sunbaenim, obviously!" 

"you don't need to call him as your senior, hyung. he doesn't know you exist." yoongi lifts his eyebrows a little, still giggling a little. he takes a deep breath to calm himself again. "what happened? i was about to break into my alcohol stash for the night. did your plans fall through?"

he shifts on his feet again, falling silent. "not quite," seokjin replies and shakes his hair with his free hand, the crosses his arms. yoongi has the urge to reach out and fix the slightly askew button of the chef's shirt. "okay, it's complicated. i had plans with my college friends, but then taehyung—"

"taehyung?"

"—invited me to a little gathering at his house, and he's so handsome, and you're friends with him, please help me yoongi-ah." seokjin reaches out for a hug, but yoongi leans away, now trying to process this. has he really been so caught up in his own problems to notice this development around him? since when does taehyung talk to seokjin? "please, please come with me. i'll do whatever you want."

sighing again, yoongi waves him inside and locks the door again. he leads seokjin up to the apartment after they take off their shoes, then flicks on the lights. "okay, tae would totally grill me for going without even the slightest effort of a costume, so?"

"do you have liquid eyeliner?"

yoongi nods and goes into his bathroom, getting his very small collection of makeup that jimin forced him into buying. he finds the eyeliner and uncaps it, about to hand it over when seokjin plucks it right out of his hand. he grabs yoongi's chin and draws on his nose, then his cheeks. he mutters for yoongi to shut his eyes and he complies, allowing seokjin to then actually put eyeliner on. 

slowly, yoongi blinks his eyes open and looks in the mirror, frowning a little. seokjin leaves the bathroom before yoongi has a chance to question the triangle on his nose and the lines on his cheeks. yoongi trails after his friend, watching seokjin pull clothes out from his closet and shove an all black outfit in his arms. instead of protesting as he might usually, he just gets dressed in the bathroom. 

"touch my hair and i break your hand," yoongi snaps when seokjin reaches out for it, just combing it through, then tousling his bangs a little. it's a little overgrown. he should probably get a haircut soon. "okay. let's go before i change my mind."

"you're a cat by the way!" seokjin calls when he's at the bottom of the stairs and yoongi is locking up. 

"oh, fuck off. like i've never heard that before," he grumbles and pockets his keys in his jacket, then puts on his shoes at the bottom step. 

seokjin grins a little and elbows him as they walk out to the street corner. "look at you picking up on korean curses. about time," he says and yoongi retrieves his phone to call them a ride to the address seokjin gives him. he responds to the comment with an eye-roll, then promptly decides to ignore seokjin until they get to taehyung’s house. it's a bit of a drive, anyway. he wonders how taehyung can afford to live in beverly hills at his age. 

as they sit in the back of the car, yoongi gets a secondary thought to let jeongguk know that he's going to be there. he initially wanted to spend the night with yoongi, but he was working until ten pm, so he didn't want to take away from jeongguk's night. jeongguk told yoongi he planned to go to one party with hoseok, then gather at taehyung's after. 

when yoongi hears back from jeongguk, he says he's already at taehyung's and he's excited to see him. yoongi, flustered, just sends back a smiley face in lieu of doing something like exchanging the same sentiment. he'd be too embarrassed to say something like that aloud and nothing changes over text. 

it's not too bad of a drive for halloween night, though traffic gets worse the closer they get to the area. but they luckily make it to taehyung's house in one piece, and yoongi hangs back while seokjin knocks on the door. he doesn't say anything except for give taehyung a head nod—he doesn't even want to ask what he's dressed as. 

yoongi moves past seokjin and taehyung lingering in the foyer, venturing deeper. he follows the sound of k-pop into the living room, finding jeongguk sitting alone with a beer in his hand. yoongi stops for a moment to admire him. he's truly one of the most beautiful people he's ever seen.

jeongguk is wearing pink, but that's not the only reason he looks strikingly cute tonight. no, it's the white bunny ears pushing his hair back and the soft sweater (that's what’s pink)—light blue skinny jeans, matching pink socks. yoongi knew that jeongguk was dressed as a bunny, but he didn't give himself the chance to picture it. which is fine, really, yoongi much prefers the view he has now. 

"hey," he says softly as he slides into the spot next to jeongguk, capturing his attention. "nice ears."

it takes a moment for jeongguk to respond, doing a quick survey of yoongi's lazy costume made by seokjin. a pretty smile breaks across his face and exposes his dimple and the mole beneath his bottom lip. "looks like you're missing some ears of your own, hyung," he says, but leans over to kiss his cheek anyway. "what made you change your mind about coming?"

yoongi hums a little and pulls the beer from jeongguk's grasp, taking a sip for a moment. he scoots a little closer when taehyung and seokjin finally make their way into the living room again. "jin-hyung needed some support, i guess. the restaurant is locked up and my parents texted thirty minutes ago saying they made it to my sister's apartment fine," he says and jeongguk nods a little, the make-up on his cheek glinting in the light. 

"here!" taehyung says with excitement and shoves something over yoongi's meticulously done hair. "now you're a cat. aw, cute, it's like you're matching. you'll have to compete with jimin and his boyfriend, whatever those lovebirds end up coming as. apparently they're matching."

at that, yoongi freezes. fuck, how could he even forget? taehyung and jimin have become good friends since they all went out to dinner—of course he would be invited to this little party too. and by default, namjoon would obviously come along because they're dating. panic rises in yoongi's chest. he won't let a repeat of last time happen. a few drinks should help. 

jeongguk gets sucked into a conversation with taehyung about some idol group that has a comeback soon, seokjin occasionally chiming in with awful dad jokes. hoseok joins them, who was apparently in the bathroom doing make-up touch ups after the first party with jeongguk. he looks good, admittedly, dressed in an elaborate pirate costume. it suits him. 

they engage in small talk as yoongi works on drinking a little, holding a bottle of his own beer. he learns that hoseok grew up in california, but in a different area. he moved to los angeles for school and studied at ucla, which is where he met namjoon, then later, taehyung too. he's a dancer and choreographer, which makes sense to yoongi given his fit body, and he almost says that aloud before remembering that his boyfriend is sitting right beside him. even though he knows jeongguk would say the same thing. 

eventually the conversation dies out and hoseok moves on to the others, which yoongi gives up on following. he leans into jeongguk's body subconsciously, then grows hyper aware of the arm around his waist. jeongguk's left hand rests against yoongi's leg, tapping to the beat of the music. he's smiling—laughing and talking too—and yoongi just watches, completely at his mercy. 

yoongi has finished his second bottle of beer by the time the doorbell rings, and he knows that it'll be jimin and namjoon on the other side of the door. he's nervous all of sudden, palms clammy and sweat gathering on the back of his neck. he takes a deep breath and prepares himself for either a quiet jimin, or a jimin who will lash out at him. jeongguk catches onto yoongi's sudden change in behavior, right hand rubbing his bouncing knee. 

"you okay?"

"yeah, just—" yoongi cuts himself off and manages a reassuring smile to soothe jeongguk's worried heart. that's the last thing he wants, so he leans over and kisses him for just a second. jeongguk's frown relaxes a little, but the concern remains. "just feeling antsy. that's all."

jeongguk nods a little and presses his lips to yoongi's temple, then tucks him in closer. yoongi feels so small against him, even if he's the one who's four years older. "okay," he murmurs into yoongi's ear, distracting him simply with his low voice and subtle vanilla cologne. "tell me if i can help, okay?" yoongi only nods in answer and smiles again, more genuine. he's grateful that jeongguk understands. 

there's absolute horror on jimin's face when he walks into the room, then a similar look on namjoon's face. it's the first time in eight years that they've all been in the same room, let alone the same proximity. jimin has done everything to make sure they never come into conflict in front of him, not after hearing their countless arguments when they were teenagers. now all his efforts have gone to waste because yoongi decided to be impulsive. 

jimin makes his expression go back to neutral and strides over to yoongi. he's dressed like a fairy, sparkly make-up and fairy wings and all. his mouth is pressed into a thin line, eyes narrowed accusingly. yoongi knows what's coming—he's about to get an earful. he goes willingly when jimin grabs his jacket sleeve, dragging him towards the backyard door. 

"what the fuck?" he shouts the minute they're alone, pushing yoongi by his shoulders so they're hidden by some trees sitting in a long planter. "why the fuck are you here? you're supposed to be at home and drinking whiskey like a loser!"

"okay, ouch. mean." yoongi furrows his eyebrows a little. "and i'm here for hyung, he asked me to come and i closed a little early because no one was in." he takes a sharp breath between his teeth. "plus—plus my boyfriend is here."

jimin glares and snaps, "well, so is mine." he takes a step close to yoongi, getting so close that he's breathing across his face. if yoongi focuses, he can see the tears in his eyes. he's done for if jimin cries. namjoon would get so pissed. it looks like jimin might say something, but then he moves away, sitting on the edge of the planter. yoongi hesitantly joins him, hands folded in his lap. 

"i try to keep you two apart because i know you would rip each other's throats out." jimin takes a deep breath, then lets it out slow. yoongi waits quietly, unsure of what to say. "i know you lied to me about where you were the night before my birthday. and i know what you said to joonie when you ran into each other that night. i didn't say anything because i wanted to see if you'd fess up yourself. but you didn’t.”

“do you even know what he said to me?”

“it doesn’t matter what he said! you should have been the bigger person. maybe you haven't changed at all.”

yoongi opens his mouth to say something, but then jimin sniffles and asks, "is that it, then? are you always gonna be liar, yoongi?"

"mini—"

"don't. do not fucking do that," jimin snaps and he's not crying, just sounds angry and yoongi feels his heart sink inside his chest. he wasn't expecting this outburst. "i've stuck by you through everything, yoongi. fucking everything. i skipped school just so i could make it to visiting hours for you. i started working at the restaurant, for you. i kept namjoon out of your life when he's long since forgiven you. i do so much for you, and i just get a liar and an asshole who hates my boyfriend as my best friend."

unhelpfully, yoongi is the one crying instead, the tears streaming out of his eyes without him meaning to. he looks away and says, "i don't hate him, jimin. and i only lied to you about jeongguk because i was afraid of messing something up with him." he pauses to swallow down the sob in his throat, but can't stop his shaking voice when he speaks again. he's more hurt than angry. jimin is acting like he's never been a good friend. 

"what about all those times i showed up at your showcases when no one else did? watching over you whenever you and namjoon fight?" he turns to face jimin, grabbing his shoulder to force their eye contact. he looks right into jimin's glossy eyes. "texting you to check if you've had your meals after you were in the fucking hospital. being there when you came out to your parents. don't act like this friendship is one-sided, because it has never been like that."

instead of responding, jimin shoves him away and gets up, dusting off the back of his pleated skirt. he pulls it down a little and just walks away and yoongi cries further into his hands, feeling so humiliated. he never meant to catch jimin in the middle of all this with namjoon, but it ended up happening anyway. and it didn't help when namjoon became jimin's boyfriend, driving an invisible wedge between them. he regrets everything so much—it was never meant to spiral like this. 

shakily, even with his eyes still watering, he reaches into his pocket and retrieves his cigarettes. he puts one between his lips and tries to flick his lighter, desperate for the release a smoke would gives him. he grows frustrated, more tears falling, then finally manages to light it. he puts his lighter away and puffs the smoke, relaxing with the burn in his lungs. 

he looks up abruptly at the sound of footsteps on the concrete, sighing out the smoke when he just sees jeongguk's timberlands moving towards him. he gets a whiff of vanilla and the smoke of his cigarette when jeongguk sits down beside him. yoongi sniffles and looks away, embarrassed to be seen like this, especially by jeongguk. 

"do you want to talk about it?" jeongguk asks quietly and pulls the cigarette from yoongi's fingers, rolling it between his own. he drops it to the ground and crushes it with his shoe, smiling softly at yoongi after. yoongi coughs a little when he takes a breath of fresh air instead of smoke. he wipes his cheeks and shrugs, looking away from jeongguk again. 

they sit in silence for a while. yoongi wonders how jeongguk is so firm in believing he's not a bad person. with all jimin says he's done, maybe he is. but it doesn't make sense—out of everyone, jimin is the one who has seen his growth the most. he's one who constantly praised yoongi for how he's changed since getting out of jail. he figures that jimin was only speaking from a place of momentary rage, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the words maybe you haven’t changed at all linger in his mind.

"do you want to go back to my apartment?" jeongguk asks.

"no,” yoongi says and clears his throat. “i don't want to ruin your night. i'm fine."

jeongguk's jaw clenches for a second before it relaxes. "my night can't get much worse than this, hyung. my boyfriend's crying and i don't know what to do to help him. the least i could do is take him away from what's causing him pain, right?"

yoongi hiccups and just nods, ashamed that he ruined jeongguk's night in any way. he gets up when jeongguk pulls him to his feet, looking at him when he wipes his cheeks. "whatever it is," jeongguk says and leans down, kissing yoongi briefly. yoongi kisses him back, eyes shutting for a second, then back up at jeongguk's galaxy eyes. "i know you can get through it."

"so corny," is all yoongi can manage, choking out a laugh and jeongguk giggles too. yoongi sighs and wipes the corners of his eyes. "i can just get a car home, jeonggukie. you don't need to come with me."

"it's fine, hyung," he says and gently removes the cat ears from yoongi's head. he fixes yoongi's bangs, then smiles again. "you're my boyfriend. where you go, i go."

yoongi laughs and wipes the corners of his eyes again. "i don't think it works like that," he says hoarsely, frowning after. "but thank you."

"come on," jeongguk says and puts his arm around yoongi's shoulders, leading him back inside. they walk through the living room, not giving anyone the time of day to explain. 

jeongguk leaves yoongi by the front door to put on his shoes, then returns a couple minutes later with his phone and jacket over his arm. taehyung trails behind him, expression somewhere between sympathetic and upset. he just gives yoongi a hug, then jeongguk too, waving when they walk out to the curb. 

"do you want to sleep over?" jeongguk asks softly, turning his body to face yoongi. 

yoongi feels a little dizzied by the question, but he can't imagine falling asleep alone, so he just nods. he turns towards jeongguk and tugs him a little closer, rubbing the fabric of his knitted sweater between his thumb and index finger. "so pretty tonight," he mumbles, more to himself, a result of the alcohol in his system. the two beers are kicking in.

jeongguk lets out an embarrassed laugh. his cheeks are flushed in the streetlamp shining over them. "am i?" he asks, soft tone. 

"yes. the prettiest." in english, he adds, "always the prettiest, baby."

"baby?" jeongguk asks, puzzled expression. 

yoongi flares his nostrils a little and averts his eyes, dropping his chin. "yeah," he says and shuffles closer, kissing jeongguk once on the lips. "or would you prefer me calling you jagi-ya?"

he never thought jeongguk's face could turn more red, but his face resembles the shade of a pink lady apple. "no. baby is okay." their car pulls up beside them, but jeongguk steals another short kiss. he steps over to the car and double checks it with what's on his phone, opening the backseat door. "actually, both are okay. i don't mind anything."

"don't mind if i call you mine, then?"

“oh my god—just get in the car, hyung."

++

yoongi wakes up to his nose pressed into jeongguk’s neck, curled up with his head resting on his shoulder. he shifts a little, rubbing his aching forehead, rolling onto his back beside him. the room is dark except for the figures of all the furniture, and he reaches blindly for his phone on the desk beside jeongguk’s bed. he grabs it and taps the screen, squinting as he adjusts the brightness. 

there’s one notification from his mother asking whether he closed up alright, but nothing else. yoongi sighs as the memory of last night filters into his mind. he remembers fighting with jimin, coming back to jeongguk’s apartment with him, drinking a little more while watching a tv show, then falling asleep—then half-waking up to jeongguk wiping off his eyeliner. 

beside him, jeongguk shifts his head on the pillow, hair fluffed and lips parted a little. he lets out a small snore when he shifts again and yoongi covers his mouth to stop himself from laughing. instead, he climbs out of bed and yawns, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. he pockets his phone in the sweatpants jeongguk gave him when they got in last night, then quietly pads over to the bathroom. on the counter, there’s a toothbrush with a sticky note that says for yoongi :) on it in english. 

yoongi makes quick use of the bathroom before brushing his teeth, then washing his face. he borrows jeongguk’s face wash and a headband, pushing it out of his face on his way out of jeongguk’s bedroom. he shuts the door behind him and squints into the sunlight pouring into the living room and kitchen, blinking harshly to adjust. after a couple of seconds, he notices a blonde guy seated at the kitchen table, then jeongguk’s roommate seated across from him. he only offers a wave.

he doesn’t bother with a verbal greeting and trails into the kitchen, opening the fridge to look inside. he finds a carton of milk that has korean letters on it, deciding that’s probably jeongguk’s and he can use it. yoongi grabs a glass from the dish rack and pours out the milk, taking out his phone to answer his mother’s text, then check the cameras in and around the restaurant.

in the corner of his eye, it seems the blonde guy has decided to think aloud when he says, “i thought you said your roommate was bigger than this.”

“oh, this isn’t my roommate,” jeongguk’s roommate responds and yoongi lifts his chin a little, giving them a side glance. they’re not even look at him while they talk about him. how bold are they to speak so openly about him while he’s standing right here? “roommate’s boyfriend. i didn’t even know he slept over until i woke up to a text saying he did.”

“sounds like an asshole,” the blonde guy says with a scoff, looking down at his laptop. “seriously. it’s always the people from other countries who end up being shitty roommates. he definitely should have asked first.”

yoongi scrunches up his nose in annoyance, turning to face them. there’s no way he’s just going to stand here and let them talk about jeongguk like that. “i’m not deaf, you know, i can hear you.” the blonde guy widens his eyes, clearly caught off-guard by yoongi speaking up. his voice is still rough from sleeping, so he clears it a little. “kind of bold, talking shit about my boyfriend where i can very clearly hear it.”

“um.” blonde guy shifts in his seat, twisting the pen in his hand. he looks so embarrassed, and yoongi thinks, good, he should be. “i just assumed you were a foreigner like him. sorry.”

yoongi narrows his eyes and clenches his fist. “i was born here, you ignorant fuck.”

before the blonde guy could respond again, jeongguk steps out of his bedroom. his hair is still a mess, but he changed into a tank top with an anime character on it and basketball shorts, eyes half-open. yoongi stifles a laugh and leans back against the counter, elbows behind him, finding it hard to not be amused as jeongguk waddles over to him. he doesn’t even say hello to his roommate, leeching himself onto yoongi’s body. 

yoongi nudges him slightly and asks, “did you sleep alright?”

“was nice having someone hold me,” he murmurs back, kissing yoongi’s cheek before detaching himself. yoongi smiles a little, ignoring the look of distaste in jeongguk’s roommate’s expression. he’s tempted to lift his middle finger at them, but knows he should be a little more mature than that. “did you sleep okay too? i didn’t mean to wake you when i took off your make-up, but i didn’t want it to be on for too long.”

“i slept good.” yoongi nods and finishes his glass of milk, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “hey, i’m wondering, are you really as bad of a roommate that this loser makes you out to be?”

jeongguk shrugs a little. “i mean, i don’t think so. i’m nice and friendly, i do the dishes and vacuum sometimes. i hardly ever cook anything that isn’t instant noodles, and when i have extra leftovers from eating out, i always offer some. i think maybe he’s still hung up on the alcohol thing. oh, and i got mad at him for being loud when it was the middle of the night.”

“being… loud?” yoongi asks, snorting into a laugh, wondering if jeongguk knows how that sounds. it takes a couple of seconds for the realization to fall over his face, then he hits yoongi on the arm for the insinuation. 

“not like that, i just mean there were people over at like three am. it happened multiple times. i always let him know when i invite someone,” jeongguk says and glares in his roommate’s direction, where he and his friend are moving to the other bedroom, probably to avoid them. “he complains to me a lot.”

yoongi sighs a little and nods. he doesn’t really understand having a bad roommate—it only goes as far as having a weird cellmate, which is not the same thing. “anyway, do you want to go out for breakfast? i was thinking we could meet hobi-hyung. he texted me saying he wants to hangout with us today. i have class at two and it’s ten right now, so it’s up to you.”

“um… fine by me. my parents get back tomorrow night and we’re closed the next two days, you know,” he explains and jeongguk nods, replacing the milk in the fridge, then washing the glass that yoongi used. “does he have somewhere in mind?”

“he sent me a couple of options.” jeongguk takes his phone out of his pocket and yoongi hops onto the counter, letting him stand between his legs. he leans his head on jeongguk’s shoulder to peer down at his phone screen. “there’s an actual breakfast shop down the street, but hobi-hyung said he didn’t really like it, but he’d go if i wanted to. um… there’s a couple other places, but they’re far. oh, there’s locally owned coffee shop that looks nice.”

yoongi just laughs and noses at jeongguk’s neck, kissing the mole there. “if you give me any sort of coffee, i’ll be fine. just choose and we can go.”

"i guess the coffee shop is fine," jeongguk mumbles and responds to hoseok's text, putting his phone back into his pocket. he moves closer when yoongi pulls him, hands hovering awkwardly between them. an obvious blush rises on his cheeks at the way yoongi very easily wraps his legs around jeongguk's waist. he scrunches up his nose when yoongi kisses it. "hi."

yoongi laughs again, grabbing onto jeongguk's hands to hold. "hi," he says back and presses his lips to jeongguk's, moving one hand to the back of his neck. jeongguk kisses him back softly, easily parting his lips to press them deeper into yoongi’s mouth. the back of yoongi’s head bumps into the cabinet, and he pushes jeongguk away, simply starting to laugh instead. 

jeongguk giggles a little too, asking, “are you okay?” while he rubs the back of yoongi’s head.

“i’m okay, i’m okay,” yoongi says and slides off the counter, taking jeongguk’s hand to pull him back in the direction of his bedroom. jeongguk follows willingly, though his socks slide against the wooden floors noisily. “let’s go soon because i’m hungry. i haven’t eaten since i took my break at work last night. and i need my morning coffee.”

jeongguk pulls his hand away when they’re back in his bedroom and yoongi gets dressed in his clothes from yesterday, flopping onto jeongguk’s bed to wait for him. he watches jeongguk get dressed while hugging his stuffed bunny, which really is the size of a pillow. he hooks his chin over the bunny’s head, admiring his boyfriend—all slim waist, strong arms, thick thighs. yoongi got lucky. jeongguk’s gaze flicks over to him, rolling his eyes as he buttons his pants, then sliding on a belt. 

“stop staring,” jeongguk says and throws a cap at him, which he catches and fits over his head. jeongguk walks over with a pout and pokes yoongi in the cheek, smiling sheepishly. “it’s embarrassing.”

“sorry.” yoongi takes a deep breath, then sighs. he smiles, teasingly, knowing jeongguk is just being shy on him. “you’re just so irresistible.”

“stop it! and this is my bunny,” jeongguk whines and pulls the stuffed animal out of yoongi’s arms, pets it protectively, then places it strategically in the corner, where his bed is pushed up against two walls. “get your own.” 

yoongi lightly kicks his heel into jeongguk’s thigh and says, “i have my own.”

huffing, jeongguk hooks one arm beneath yoongi’s neck, then the other beneath his knees, lifting him off the bed. it happens so quick, yoongi grabs onto him in surprise and shouts, “jeongguk!” while jeongguk just grins back cheekily, letting him down on his feet. yoongi can feel how hot his face is, turning away so jeongguk can’t see. “let’s—um, just go.”

jeongguk doesn’t respond, only grabbing his timberlands to take out to the living room. he puts them on while sitting on the couch, yoongi simply leaning against the wall to put on his own shoes. he spots the small smile on jeongguk’s face while he’s tugging on his jacket, but doesn’t comment on it because he knows his expression must be looking similar. something about being with jeongguk feels so nice, so warm, so content. yoongi doesn’t question it and instead, embraces it.

they take the elevator down and cross the street to reach the correct bus stop, then wait side-by-side, jeongguk scrolling through his phone while yoongi stares idly at the smog in the sky. it seems particularly dreary today, but maybe that has more to do with the lingering remnants of arguing with jimin. god, he really does feel so awful about it. and as much as he wants to reach out and apologize and fix things, yoongi also knows that jimin is going to need the time to himself.

as he sits on the bus with his thigh pressed against jeongguk’s, leaned into his chest as music filter into one ear after carefully wedging the other earphone into one of jeongguk’s, he wonders if they can really bounce back from this. yoongi has said countless hurtful things about namjoon over the years, sometimes consciously, sometimes offhandedly, but most times he never stopped to consider how that would effect jimin. 

which was stupid of him, knowing how sensitive jimin can be in regards to the people he cares about. jimin values loyalty, and it makes sense that after all this time, he might want to choose the love of his life over his best friend. yoongi understands that, or at least he’s trying to, but he doesn’t want their lifelong friendship to just go to waste now. like jimin said, they’ve been through everything together. they’re best friends. he won’t just let that go. 

he wants to be able to be civil with namjoon again, but what's the gateway? yoongi figures approaching him directly would be best, but he can’t just do that. and he needs to keep jimin out of it because it’s more about him and namjoon, than him and jimin. yoongi knows, despite his doubt, that he and jimin will always come out okay in the end. they’ve fought and argued before, but he and namjoon are the ones who really need to make up with each other. 

yoongi jerks in his seat a little when jeongguk touches his knee gently, then exhales and murmurs an apology. he blinks up at jeongguk, sighing a little when he realizes how close their faces right now. “your leg started bouncing,” jeongguk says quietly, and yoongi looks back to where jeongguk’s hand is firmly pressed against his knee to keep it down. “what’s wrong?”

yoongi licks his lips and sighs, putting his hand over jeongguk’s. he kicks his legs out a little, the backs of his dirty shoes hitting the metal of the bus. it clangs a little and yoongi sighs again, tilting his head against the window. “if i asked you a favor,” he starts and takes a deep breath. “would you do it no questions asked?”

jeongguk’s eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “do you know how suspicious that sounds from an ex-criminal?”

“it’s—a simple favor. promise. doesn’t even touch the premise of being illegal.” he looks up at jeongguk a little hopefully. “there’s something i need, but it requires a little something that’s in your phone.”

immediately, jeongguk retrieves his phone from the pocket of his baggy pants, gripping it in his free palm. “okay?” he asks, but still sounds suspicious. “no questions asked is a lot, hyung. what exactly do you need that’s in my phone? and… why?”

yoongi drops his chin a little. “i need to speak with joonie. and you have his phone number,”  he says and jeongguk’s eyebrows turn into a frown, lips pressing together for a second. “as for the why, it’s complicated. we just… a long time ago, before i got arrested the last time, joonie and i got into a series of arguments. we used to be friends, actually, and we never made up after that. i was an asshole."

"and you need his phone number... why?" jeongguk asks, unlocking his phone anyway, pulling his right hand away to type namjoon's name into the contacts. "does this have to do with last night?"

"kind of." yoongi shifts his position, taking out his phone when it vibrates. he saves namjoon's phone number, staring at the contact he hasn't had in his phone for literal years. "that was about mini more than joonie. but... yeah, we argued, and said some things and—jimin will need time. but—this shit with joonie is getting out of hand. i need to fix it."

jeongguk doesn't say anything for a minute, and yoongi turns to tug the string because they need to get off the bus. they board off and yoongi takes back the earbud jeongguk is wearing, walking alongside him, waiting for him to say something. 

"you and namjoon-hyung are kind of dumb," jeongguk says when they're standing outside the coffee shop, waiting for hoseok to arrive too. yoongi lifts his eyebrow at the sudden remark. “he talks about you the same way. you know, like you're an amazing person. that's how he convinced me to go to your family's restaurant back in september. it was all because of him. talked up the food, the people who worked there. i mean, he was talking about jimin-hyung, but still. he meant you too."

yoongi lets jeongguk pulls him close, blinking slowly at him, just trying to process his words. jeongguk kisses him, slow and perfect, tongue slipping into his mouth. yoongi kisses him back, holding onto the unzipped part of his hoodie to keep him close. they kiss, for yoongi doesn't know how long, only breaking apart when hoseok says, "am i interrupting something?" in english. 

embarrassed, yoongi scratches the back of his ear, hiding his face in jeongguk's neck after. "no," jeongguk says and grabs the door handle with one hand, holding onto yoongi's waist with the other. "let's eat before i starve."

"ah, okay." hoseok flashes a smile without hesitation, then something a little more mischievous after jeongguk goes inside. yoongi follows after hoseok, standing between him and jeongguk as they wait in line. he crosses his arms and decides what he wants pretty much immediately. 

hoseok nudges yoongi with his elbow. "what're you having?" he asks quietly, just for yoongi to hear. jeongguk is lost in his own world, rubbing his chin in a very serious deliberation at the pastry display. 

"just an americano. iced, probably. why, you indecisive or something?"

"no... but it looks like your boyfriend is." 

they both turn their heads to see jeongguk with his hands on his hips, still staring intently at the display case. 

"bet you five bucks he takes five minutes to order something."

yoongi snorts, knowing better. "i bet ten bucks he takes more than ten."

"write that down," hoseok says and yoongi slowly takes out a small notepad sticking out of jeongguk's jacket pocket, then the pen too. he scribbles down the bet and his signature on a clean page, then passes it over his shoulder to hoseok. 

and so they wait—five minutes pass, and yoongi smirks a little with the realization that he may have already won. hoseok grumbles something from behind him, huffing as yoongi shifts his weight from his right leg to his left. 

as hoseok's watch ticks to the tenth minute, just five seconds over the mark, jeongguk looks to his left. he blinks owlishly at them, as if a deer caught in a pair of headlights. "you don't have to wait for me," he says, rubbing the back of his hair. "i'll pay for myself. i didn't realize how hungry i really am."

"it's been ten fucking minutes man," hoseok says in english and yoongi laughs, leaning his forehead against jeongguk's shoulder to stop himself from descending into a fit of laughter. "just order, please. you already cost me ten dollars."

jeongguk turns the rest of his body towards them, arm wrapping protectively around yoongi's shoulders. "i cost ten dollars?"

"no—no, baby, he means we made a bet on how long you would take to order. i said ten minutes, and he said five. and now hobi owes me ten bucks because it's been over ten minutes," yoongi explains and jeongguk mumbles an ohh while hoseok retrieves his wallet, passing yoongi a crisp ten dollar bill. 

pleased, yoongi plucks it out of his hand and slides it into his own wallet. "thank you very much," he says and hoseok just rolls his eyes, but he's smiling anyway. "seriously though. let's order. i'm slowly losing my sanity."

"what is sanity?"

"his sense. state of mind." hoseok sighs. "just order what you want so your boyfriend doesn't go crazy."

yoongi pouts up at jeongguk. "please."

jeongguk mutters a korean curse, dropping his arm before finally stepping up to the counter. 

as he orders, hoseok turns to yoongi with a massive grin on his face. "i think we'll make very good friends, yoongi."

++

yoongi stares at his unlocked phone laying on his desk, black letters glaringly bold across the screen. he gulps and tugs on the roots of his hair, taking the next step of sitting down in his desk chair. he rolls it close and peers at his phone, afraid, as if something is about to jump out of the screen. 

the time in the corner of the screen switches to exactly ten o'clock at night, and yoongi finally picks up his phone. he presses the message icon and allows the automated action to pull up a new message to namjoon. what do you even say to you ex-best friend after eight years? how does yoongi greet him—what if he doesn't even have yoongi's phone number, oh god, of course he doesn't. 

yoongi shakes it off with another forced deep breath. he presses each letter carefully, wary of typos, reading and then rereading it to check again for any mistakes. there's no going back once he hits send. hell, there's no guarantee that namjoon will answer. it's out of yoongi's hands after that. 

another deep breath. yoongi's thumb hits the arrow and there's a woosh indicating its sendoff. the word Delivered appears beneath his text. it changes immediately to Read 10:03 pm.

yoongi's breath hitches when three bubbles appear, disappear, and that process repeats five more times before his phone vibrates.

Yoongi Min: hey Joonie, this is Yoongi. i think we have a lot to talk about. get back to me if you want, but i understand if you don't. 

Joonie Kim: Wooow. How interesting.

Joonie Kim: Initiative taken by Yoongi Min? Someone get my fucking camera 

yoongi scoffs. how bold is he, trying to act all better than him when yoongi knows he most certainly is not? he picks up his phone again with decisiveness.

Yoongi Min: hilarious joonie, really

Yoongi Min: i'm serious. i really think we should talk about everything. 

Joonie Kim: No yeah I agree

Joonie Kim: I'm guessing not over text?

Yoongi Min: yeah.

Yoongi Min: and no mini

Yoongi Min: this isn't about him. this is about us

Joonie Kim: Okay fine

he hesitates before sending his next message. is it too soon to do this or isn't that the whole point?

Yoongi Min: are you busy tomorrow morning?

Joonie Kim: No I'm not. Mini's in Arizona with his parents all weekend

Yoongi Min: right

Yoongi Min: so coffee?

Joonie Kim: Okay

Joonie Kim: Got a where and when?

Yoongi Min: whatever's best for you

Joonie Kim: Alright. Starbucks is fine with me. 10AM, the one on 6th?

Yoongi Min: okay. that works

and there's no response after that, a Read 10:15 pm written beneath his text bubble. yoongi presses his hand flat to his sternum and exhales, unsure if he was breathing properly those last twelve minutes. it won't be the same feeling seeing him tomorrow and having to uphold an emotionally stable person for the real thing. he can't get anxious, he can't get into his own head. something so precious is at stake.

yoongi sends a couple texts to jeongguk with trembling fingers, then a couple more when his nerves get the best of him. he leaves his phone on his bed and gets ready to sleep, talking himself down from all the anxiety that's suddenly building up inside of him. before returning to his room, yoongi gets a glass of water from the kitchen, then sets it on his nightstand. 

he crawls into bed and answers jeongguk's text, about to set his phone to sleep when it lights up with jeongguk's first and last name across the screen. the contact picture is them, a selfie that yoongi was forced into taking on one of their earlier dates. he's smiling, barely, jeongguk's lips pressed to his cheek, the quality not-so-great from the bad lighting and shaky camera grip. yoongi grins and answers the call. 

"don't tell me you called to say goodnight to me like a teenager," yoongi says after adjusting to lie down on his back. there's silence, so yoongi lifts his phone, placing it on speaker and raising the volume to make sure he can hear when jeongguk talks. "i'm an adult, jeongguk. i can handle this."

"you didn't sound like it over text," jeongguk says, voice small. he sounds worried. yoongi rubs his chin and wonders if he came across differently in his messages. he can't even recall what he said. "you know i believe in you, right? that you're good for doing this. things will turn out alright eventually, even if it doesn't work out right now."

yoongi sighs and lets his eyes fall shut, just wanting to sleep off his anxiety. "why do you sound so wise?" he asks with a tired chuckle, turning onto his side and placing his phone on his pillow beside his head. 

"shit, i do, huh. i'm watching spiderman if that explains it."

"it really doesn't. i really don't think spiderman is wise."

"okay, he's not the wise one. obviously it's uncle ben. come on, hyung, you should know this."

yoongi laughs a little tiredly. “right, of course,” he says and he hears jeongguk’s laugh from the other side of the call. it makes his chest warm—since when did his feelings for jeongguk start to grow like this?

yoongi smiles sleepily and stifles a yawn as jeongguk rambles on about his day. “thank you,” he mumbles as he drifts off, put at such incredible ease by jeongguk's voice that it lulls him to sleep. 

the sleep is amazing, but yoongi wakes up with his head pounding with an ache, unrelenting to his skull. he grabs his phone off the floor, still seeing that it’s only nine in the morning. which is good, he doesn’t have to sit for too long and stress himself out about seeing namjoon. there’s even an encouraging text message from jeongguk, a plethora of emoticons and a cute selfie. it doesn't cure his headache, but it does warm yoongi’s heart a little. 

yoongi gets dressed after washing up, sneaking out the backdoor so he wouldn’t get reeled into doing something for his parents. he checks the time again and finally gives himself the chance to respond to jeongguk’s text, trying to settle his nerves. at least there’s no risk of throwing up on an empty stomach. not that yoongi really throws up when he’s nervous, but it’s always a possibility.

he walks a little to reach the right bus stop, then takes the bus to the starbucks off of sixth, just like namjoon said to. yoongi hops off around there and it’s still ten minutes until ten am, so he gets his drink and settles at a table alone. to pass the time and distract himself, he plays a game on his phone, occasionally taking bites of the morning bun he bought. jeongguk is really rubbing of on him. 

even when yoongi hears namjoon’s voice while he’s ordering, he doesn’t lift his head or move from his seat. all he does is place his phone on the table and wipe his hands on his jeans, clenching his fists for a moment. he keeps his eyes fixated on the floor beneath the table, staring at a straw wrapper coiled into itself. he adjusts his beanie and finally looks up when the chair across from him scrapes noisily against the floor.

namjoon sits in the seat, hair floppy and not styled, placing his drink on the circular table between them. round glasses sit on his nose, white t-shirt and a pendant hanging from his neck. silver, shaped like a crescent moon with a tiny red heart stamped into the corner. it’s the same one that jimin usually wears, sometimes out for everyone to see or sometimes tucked into his shirt. yoongi takes a shaky breath and pushes jimin out of his mind—this is not about him right now. 

there’s an uncomfortable silence between them, yoongi shifting continuously in his seat, pulling at the seams of his jeans as he struggles to figure out what to say. namjoon takes a sip of his drink, probably a coffee by the smell of it. he runs his hand through his hair in the corner of yoongi’s eye. he lifts his head with a deep breath, facing namjoon more head-on.

“hi,” yoongi manages to say, teeth sinking into his bottom lip because it comes out so awkward. namjoon smiles a little, and even though he’s changed significantly and grown so much, that’s obviously still the same. yoongi tries to smile, but it twitches back into a frown. he grabs his coffee and takes a long sip, averting his eyes from namjoon’s face. “um—“

“can i just say one thing, before you start,” namjoon says, and he doesn’t sound any less nervous than yoongi feels. he nods feebly and wipes the condensation on his cup, forcing himself to look at namjoon again. “i know i sounded pretty passive-aggressive over text, but… i really do appreciate that you took initiative.”

yoongi presses his lips together and shrugs a little, not sure if he should play it off like usual or just accept his feelings for the morning. “i think this incivility between us has gone for too long,” he says and brushes his bangs out of his eyes. “i don’t know… how two-sided this feud has been. but on halloween, when mini and i fought—he said you had long since forgiven me. and… i don’t think i deserve that. you never had an explanation or an apology, and i was immature for never speaking to you. i never even tried. you deserve that closure.”

he sniffs a little and tilts his head to the side. “after we ran into each other at jeongguk’s apartment, i just kept wondering if it was time to just move on and forgive myself. it wasn’t doing me any good to think about it all the time. and trust me, these eight years? i’ve thought a lot about what happened. how i behaved. how badly i treated you.” yoongi scrunches up his nose and laughs, looking down. there are already tears prickling his eyes, but he’s not going to let namjoon pity him if he cries. “i thought i was cool, back then, for what i was doing. thought it made me tough shit.

“but i was just—i was just an idiot. i was doing all the wrong things. stealing and lying and acting like i was older than i was, trying to drop you and even mini. but you and i clashed more, and our words hurt each other the most. with mini, things were always easier to fix.”

“i punched you. mini would never.”

yoongi cracks a smile at that, sipping his coffee, nibbling on the straw after. “yeah, and i did much worse to you. said you weren’t my friend even though i still cared about you. punched you too, just so i seemed like i was better than you, when i wasn’t. i was trying to look cool for people who dropped me the moment i got an actual jail sentence. that was dumb of me.”

when he looks up again, namjoon is watching him with intent and interest. he sips on his hot coffee, licking his lips after, looking like he wants to speak. yoongi waits patiently, working on his forgotten coffee and morning bun, nibbling on it to keep his nerves in order. so far he’s done most of the talking, and he doesn’t want this to just be about him. yoongi would be surprised if namjoon genuinely didn’t have anything to say about this.

after a long few minutes, namjoon says, “i wanted to visit you. when i found out what happened—sometimes mini would ask me if i wanted to come with him, but i was—well, honestly, i was afraid of you.” for some reason, hearing that makes yoongi’s heart twist up, sinking right into his stomach. namjoon was afraid of him? did he hurt namjoon that badly that it left him scarred? “i built up this persona of you, of the person you had become my junior year.

“you went to parties and started smoking. the new people you hung around, dropping out of school.” yoongi sighs quietly. he can’t recall anything good that came out of him doing those things. “when i thought of you, i thought of the guy who punched me. who declared our friendship void. and i knew that wasn’t really you, and it took a lot of mini talking to me for me to realize that i was wallowing over a person that didn’t exist.” namjoon stops talking and takes a deep breath. “i, um, when jimin was—i-in the hospital, you know, a few years ago.”

yoongi nods solemnly. he remembers that all too well. he hadn’t left jimin’s bedside that entire week. he was so worried about jimin, he refused to go to work or take care of himself. he had headaches from nicotine withdrawals and not eating properly. seeing jimin in such a vulnerable state left him in shambles. he’s made sure to do everything in his power to make sure it’d never happen again. 

namjoon clears his throat—his eyes are red rimmed beneath his glasses. yoongi blinks a couple of times, tears falling, which he quickly wipes away before namjoon could see. “i wanted to see him. it caused a lot of problems in our relationship because i didn’t. i couldn’t go because i knew you would be there.” namjoon sniffles and wipes his eyes, then drops his hands back into his lap. “i realized, then, that you’d always be there. if i couldn’t be there for mini, then you would be. you weren’t the terrible person i made you out to be.

“i don’t know if you understand how much it meant to me that you where there for him in that moment.”

dumbfounded, yoongi opens and shuts his mouth, just trying to process this little piece of information. well, this big piece of information. when jimin was put in the hospital, that was the only thing on his mind. he wasn’t thinking about his parents, or the restaurant, or namjoon, or music—it was nothing but jimin and the importance of his well-being. it never occurred to yoongi that namjoon wasn’t even there, even though he was already dating jimin for over a year. 

“jimin’s my best friend,” yoongi ends up saying, blinking at namjoon seated across from him. this time when the tears fall, he doesn’t make an effort to push them away. feeling through his emotions is the best thing to do right now. “even if we fight, i know we’ll end up being okay. and joonie, you were one of my best friends too. and—and, i really—i really am sorry about everything. everything i have ever done to hurt you, even if i don’t remember it. i’m sorry.”

the table sits in silence for a moment, yoongi patting his face dry with a napkin, then finishing his iced coffee that’s been diluted thanks to his forgetfulness. he clears his throat and lifts his head again, watching namjoon tear off a piece of his croissant to eat it slowly. yoongi's fingers press into the exposed part of his thighs, massaging the muscles just for something to do. they’re also sore as hell—jeongguk dragged him to the gym for leg day two days ago.

"and thank you, too,” yoongi says and laughs, a little broken, but it's a laugh nonetheless. he feels so much lighter. an eight-year-long weight has been lifted off his back. "for hearing me out today and for taking care of my family when i was away. pushing me academically before i decided to drop out. believing in my half-assed dreams. you were always a good friend to me." he pauses and manages a smile—small, but genuine. "and yeah, thanks for leading jeongguk to me."

namjoon gives yoongi a watery smile. “i’m sorry for what i said in his apartment. it was uncalled for.”

"me too.” yoongi sighs and pauses, letting his smile grow just a little wider. “oh, and for that one time when we were twelve and i lied to you about breaking your new phone. my basketball landed on it. yeah, sorry about that."

namjoon laughs and throws his head back, taking off his glasses so he can properly wipe his face. "how do you even remember that," he says and laughs more, yoongi simply smiling weakly at him. "if we're doing that type of thing, i'm sorry for burning your rarest pokémon card because i was jealous."

"you—you what?"

"it wasn't my brightest moment."

"i don't care about that. i want to know why you were handling fire at nine-years-old."

namjoon just waves him off and puts on his glasses again, smiling softly. yoongi smiles back, rubbing his eyes again and sniffling. "you know i do forgive you, right?" namjoon says and yoongi shrugs, not feeling like he really deserves that. finally having this conversation is all that he needs. being friends again feels a little idealistic, especially after so long. he never expected that and he won’t force something like that on them. "reconciling—it's good for the both of us. for jiminie too.”

"yeah. i agree. thanks, again, for agreeing to this." yoongi checks the time on his phone and pushes himself to stand, gathering his trash. "um, i should go now. i have to open the restaurant. but i guess i'll see you around more, right?"

namjoon stays seated, nodding. "yeah, sure. i'll see you, i guess." he waves and yoongi waves back after tossing his trash, then steps outside. 

he waits until he's on the bus to take a deep breath and let himself relax properly. he realizes that his hands are shaking still and his heart is racing and his ears are ringing. the bus rocks a little and yoongi grabs onto the edge of his seat, leaning forward as he stretches out the tense tendons of his neck. the feeling will settle, but right now, yoongi just wants to cry from relief. 

the burden caused by the rift between him and namjoon is gone. there's no lingering doubt. no more endless worrying about whether namjoon will be present somewhere he goes, no more making jeongguk feel like he can’t talk about something he did with namjoon. most importantly, jimin doesn't need to keep those parts of his life separate anymore. there can finally be a middle ground of peace and mutual respect for each other. 

and when the time's right, yoongi hopes he can fix things with jimin too. 

++

jimin pokes his head past the office door after knocking, meeting yoongi's waiting eyes. his hair is sweaty from working, but they closed for the night about an hour ago. it's around one am now, and yoongi's been doing his best with calculating the numbers for the week in a spreadsheet. he lowers the screen of his laptop a little and sips on his beer, waiting for jimin to say something. they’ve only be communicating on a work premise, which is better than jimin’s silent treatment.

"um, i'm going home now. and jeongguk's asleep in one of the booths."

"okay. thanks." yoongi nods a little and shoots him a smile, which jimin meekly returns. it disappears after a couple of seconds. he stays standing in the doorway, awkwardly between the hallway and the office. it seems like he might say something else, but is hesitating. "need anything else?" yoongi prompts, wondering if maybe jimin is ready to talk through their problems.

jimin sighs and shakes his head, slowly shutting the door behind him as he leaves. yoongi looks back at his laptop screen and frowns, finishing up in the next ten minutes so he can go wake jeongguk up. he shuts his laptop and pulls off the charger, double checking that the safe is locked before he leaves the office. he locks the door when he steps out, strolling down the hallway and into the restaurant area.

he sees jeongguk’s bare knees before he actually sees his face. he’s lying on his back with his backpack between his feet, hands folded over his stomach, hood pulled over his hair. the table casts a shadow over his face, only a sliver of the streetlight shining through the window hitting his tan cheek. yoongi considers the ways he could wake him up, and settles on gently shaking his shoulder, then caressing his cheek.

“hey,” he says and chuckles softly when jeongguk blinks sleepily, lifting his head a little in confusion. his dangling earrings click together and yoongi reaches out, touching the shell of his ear, then fixing the earring. “why’d you wait for me? you should have gone home when jimin closed.”

jeongguk sits up and moves his legs under the table to make more room on the booth. yoongi slides into the spot beside him, looking up at him. jeongguk’s eyes sparkle in the light, a soft and sleepy smile on his lips when he turns towards yoongi. “i didn’t have an amazing day,” he says and yoongi sighs, taking his hand with an understanding nod. “i didn’t want to interrupt your work, though, so i decided to wait. i guess i fell asleep.”

“you wanna sleep over? i don’t think my parents will mind. you can either squish with me in my bed or you can take my sister’s old room.”

“you want me to sleep in your noona’s bed?”

“i mean—no, but i don’t know if you want to be comfortable.”

jeongguk shrugs and brushes some of yoongi’s overgrown hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear. yoongi can’t stop the blush from rushing to his cheeks at the simple action, god, he really does have it bad for jeongguk. “you can just lie on top of me and i can use you like a life-sized teddy bear,” he jokes and yoongi rolls his eyes, kissing the underside of his jaw before sliding out of the booth. he picks up jeongguk’s bag and hands it off to him, double checking that the doors are locked.

yoongi takes off his shoes at the base of the stairs and quietly tiptoes up once jeongguk does the same, slipping into the apartment. he holds the door for jeongguk, peering into the hallway to check if his parent’s bedroom room is open. he mumbles for jeongguk to wait and slides against the wooden floor, slowly shutting it to muffle the sound of his father’s snoring. he exhales in relief, then goes back to jeongguk in his bedroom.

“um… clothes,” he says and slides open his closet door, staring up at the shelves with his arms crossed. he pulls down some shorts that were too big and he never returned, and a faded red oversized graphic tee that says the amazing spider-man! in peeling black letters. “this is the best i have for you. sorry—i’m kind of small.”

jeongguk shrugs and pulls his hoodie off, then takes the two items of clothing. “it’s fine. it’s part of what makes you cute,” he says and grins, all his teeth showing, then tugs off the long-sleeve shirt he’s wearing to change into the shirt. he takes off his jeans and doesn’t give yoongi much time to stare as he replaces them with the shorts. 

instead of continuing to stare at his boyfriend now fixing his hair in the mirror doors of his closet, yoongi grabs his pajamas and changes, flinching a little when he suddenly feels jeongguk’s palm against the small of his back. “tattoo,” he says and yoongi twists his head over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the black ink on his back in the mirror. he shrugs a little, then tries to put his shirt on, but jeongguk stops him again. “do you have more i don’t know about? this one’s really pretty, hyung.”

“i mean,” yoongi sighs and pushes his pajama pants to his knees for a moment. he pulls up the edge of his briefs of his right leg to show the side of his thigh, an intricate tattoo of the knife he carried the night he had his last arrest. “just that one.”

“woah. why didn’t you tell me? you know i love the one on your forearm,” jeongguk says and kneels to look at it, yoongi jerking in place when his fingers ghost over his skin. he’s never shown jeongguk this much of his skin, has never been this vulnerable with anyone he’s dated, so he’s a little unused to how nonchalant jeongguk is acting about this. if anything, only past hook-ups have commented on his tattoos, and even then, yoongi hasn’t had many of those. jeongguk tilts his head up and smiles. “it’s so detailed. i really love it.”

embarrassed, yoongi shoves the fabric back over his thigh and pulls his pants back up, then the same to his t-shirt. “thanks,” he mumbles and opens his bedroom door, crossing the hall to get to his bathroom. he flicks on the light and moves to let jeongguk move in behind him, exhaustedly washing his face, then getting a clean toothbrush for jeongguk. 

they wash up together in silence, though yoongi keeps looking at jeongguk in the mirror. the california sun is doing wonders for him, his arms and face tan, paler where the stretched out collar sits on his neck. his hair is shorter from a recent haircut, but it’s suiting him, and yoongi finds himself staring after he finishes washing up. jeongguk looks at him too after rinsing the toothpaste out of his mouth, then brushing his thumb over yoongi’s jaw, where a droplet of water sat. 

helpless, yoongi pulls jeongguk into a searing kiss. he kisses jeongguk harder than ever, gut churning and choosing to ignore the fact that his parents are down the hall. he grunts a little when jeongguk backs him into the wall across the sink, then takes a dive for the skin on yoongi’s neck. yoongi catches the sight of them in the mirror. his cheeks are so flushed and red, lips bitten down from jeongguk’s teeth, hands grasping onto the back of jeongguk’s shirt.

he winces a little when jeongguk kisses a little too harshly on his collarbone, looking down after he pulls away to see a bruise forming in the shape of his lips. jeongguk pecks the mark then lets yoongi’s shirt fall back into place, carefully kissing his way back up to yoongi’s face. the mood shifts to something softer—gentler—as jeongguk’s lips touch each feature of yoongi’s face with such undivided attention.

first it’s his eyes. yoongi flutters them shut when he realizes, moving his own hands to grip the front of jeongguk’s shirt as he kisses his eyelids twice each, then to his cheekbones, to the spot between his eyebrows, then lower to the tip of his nose. yoongi open his eyes to watch jeongguk dip down to his chin, his jawline—then he grasps yoongi’s face with both hands, peppering every inch of skin but his lips with a kiss. 

finally, yoongi sighs into one soft kiss, slowly running his hand through jeongguk’s hair a few times. there isn’t really a real way he can describe how kissing jeongguk feels—it just feels right. ever since yoongi discovered his sexuality in early high school, anytime he tried going out with a guy or kissing one, it never felt quite right. he always knew he was attracted to other men, but no one every really fit him as a person.

then two months ago, jeongguk came into his life as a shy customer who had trouble spitting out such a simple order for lamb. yoongi was hesitant to accept yet another blooming crush, ones he got often. he’s had them on frequent customers before, but they eventually grow tired of talking to yoongi, or stop coming by. delivery services don’t help with that—yoongi faces many nights of an empty restaurant and a bustling kitchen. 

however, jeongguk was more interested in him first. from the namjoon mix-up, to seeking him out during his smoking break. teaching him about soju and how to drink it. asking him out on a date made him nervous, but they had been talking semi-often enough for it to be normal. it felt right, then, to be with jeongguk. he had found someone that fit with him when he thought about himself in the future. 

of course they haven’t talked about anything like that, not when jeongguk is still in school and has his whole life ahead of him. it still sort of baffles yoongi that he’d want to be with someone like him—just some american guy who was nice to him on a day he was missing the food of his home country. but jeongguk seems to really enjoy their time together and very clearly has no problems with yoongi’s background. being with him feels like everything that he’s every wanted. 

when jeongguk pulls away, he drops his head a little to rub his nose against yoongi’s cheek, hot breath tickling yoongi’s skin. “i’m tired,” he mumbles, and yoongi tilts his head back, laughing quietly. jeongguk pulls away and pulls a serious expression for a second, then it melts into confusion. “what? what’s so funny?”

“nothing, nothing—let’s go to bed,” yoongi replies and kisses jeongguk’s forehead, running his hand through his fluffy hair one last time before trailing back into his bedroom. 

jeongguk shuts the door behind him and hops onto yoongi’s bed while yoongi shuts the blinds, then switches off his lamp. he slides under the covers with jeongguk, forcing his body to be smaller, then fitting himself into jeongguk’s hold. jeongguk wraps his arms around yoongi, tucking him close and safely into his chest. yoongi lifts his chin a little and kisses the corner of his mouth, then dropping his head back onto his chest to finally get some rest. in a matter of minutes, yoongi’s eyes are heavy and he drifts off with jeongguk against him.

yoongi wakes up alone, but the space beside him is still warm. he rolls onto his back and stretches his arms into the air, taking a deep breath of the lingering vanilla scent in his sheets. the smell is so deeply rooted in the memory of jeongguk now. he tucks the blanket around his body and grabs his phone, moving onto his side. they were lucky about not having problems while sleeping in such a small bed together—really, yoongi either needs to invest in a new bed or just move out.

he checks his messages and responds to a few from hoseok, then a handful from taehyung separately. he places his phone back on his nightstand and pulls himself out of bed, tugging on the hoodie jeongguk was wearing last night. yoongi washes up in the bathroom and tries to tame his bed head, but it’s hopeless, and he makes a note to shower after having breakfast. 

yoongi stops abruptly when he’s standing in the kitchen doorway. jeongguk is standing at the stove, but that’s not really the part that’s rattling yoongi’s pre-coffee brain, as attractive as that is. it’s the fact that jeongguk is singing, so softly, and yet so beautifully. a good bulk of their early conversations had been about music, and jeongguk offhandedly made comments about liking to sing, but yoongi never pushed him about how serious that was.

but hearing him now, yoongi realizes he was probably downplaying his passion. he wills his feet to move forward to get a better vantage point, using the fridge to hide behind. he peeks around the edge of it, shutting his eyes as jeongguk’s voice floats into his mind. the song is something he doesn’t recognize, but it’s in english, and he already knows it’s a love song. yoongi tugs the sleeves of jeongguk’s hoodie over his hands and curls his toes, unable to fight down his smile. 

jeongguk’s voice is so beautiful.

ever the moment ruiner, yoongi’s eyes snap open when he feels a smack on the back of his head. “yah! min yoongi!” his mother says scoldingly, and jeongguk stops singing to peer over his shoulder. a smile appears and yoongi manages to send one back before he’s hit again in the same spot. “wear slippers!”

“i’m wearing socks!” yoongi points down at his feet with both hands and lets his eyes trail over to jeongguk’s feet, rolling his eyes. “besides, jeongguk’s wearing them. you wouldn’t want me to take them from our guest, right?”

yoongi’s mother crosses her arms and looks at him pointedly. “you say that, and yet you’re letting him cook?”

annoyed, yoongi shuffles over and looks into the pot on the stove. “it’s ramen, mom, seriously. it’s not that big of a deal.”

she lets out a frustrated sigh and shakes her head, leaving through the other doorway, and down the stairs. the door slams behind her and yoongi rubs his face and shakes out his hair, then turns towards the coffeemaker. but jeongguk puts his arm around his waist and pulls him in, planting a kiss on his lips. “good morning,” he says and yoongi smiles, just a little, kissing jeongguk again before going to get his coffee.

yoongi sits himself at the table and watches with a smile as jeongguk slurps up his noodles. he sips his coffee slowly and takes out his phone, responding to more of hoseok’s texts. he furrows his eyebrows at the explanation of an elaborate situation with his roommate, then an offer at the bottom of the paragraph. funny how he was just thinking about this, and the opportunity has presented itself. his luck must be impeccable today.

“baby, listen to this,” yoongi says when jeongguk has a mouthful of noodles, but his doe eyes are focused on him, offering a thumbs up to indicate that he's listening. “hobi’s roommate ended up dropping out of the lease and is moving out in two weeks, so like—the end of the month, basically. there’s a bunch of other unnecessary details about what happened, but basically he’s asking me to move in with him. um… should i do it?”

jeongguk says something, but his words are garbled by the food in his mouth. he puts his finger up and finishes chewing before swallowing. “i mean, if you want to. is moving out something you’re thinking of doing?”

“i can’t live with my parents the rest of my life.”

“that’s true.” jeongguk presses his lips together and then gives a little shrug. “do what’s best for you, hyung. if you think you can make rent in his neighborhood and the commute isn’t too bad from here to there, then i’d say for go it. but don’t say yes right away, you never know. you should just sit on it for a couple of days at most, since this is an urgent situation for him.”

yoongi inhales and nods, letting out his breath slowly. “i mean… i want my privacy. my parents are just—in my business. i’m twenty-five, it’s really not working for me like this. especially now that i’m with you.” he sighs and shakes his head while jeongguk continues to eat. “i don’t know. it’s just been getting hard living like this, as much as i love my parents, but i’ve literally never known a life without privacy. i can manage living on my own, i know that much, so i don’t know why i haven’t done it.”

“do you feel guilty?”

“about… what?”

jeongguk wipes his mouth with a napkin and sits back with a big sigh, rubbing his stomach with one hand. he smacks his lips and makes a thinking noise before clarifying, "i mean, do you feel guilty about anything your parents have done for you, that’s stopped you from moving out all these years?”

yoongi frowns a little. “i mean, i work downstairs. it’s convenient to just climb a flight of stairs when my shift’s done.” 

he stops to really consider it for a minute, then continues, “they didn’t have to take me back in when i got out of jail. actually, i was prepared to find a way to make a living on my own when i got news of my early release, even with my record and not having a diploma. but yoonseo convinced them to at least house me and make me work part-time. as time passed, i just started taking more responsibility of the restaurant and eventually my dad started paying me more. that’s the main reason why i’m still here.”

“that’s it, then, right?” jeongguk asks, like what he’s referring to is obvious. yoongi merely stares at him, waiting for him to explain himself. “yoongi-hyung, do you want to work here for the rest of your life?”

“well, i don't—“

jeongguk smiles and says, “then that’s it. you’ve been stuck in this stagnant stage of your life for the last, how many years?”

“um… five and a half?”

“for the last five and a half years, you’ve known nothing but working for your parents and living under their roof your entire life, with the exception of the year and a half you spent in jail. you have a criminal record and no diploma—“

“jesus christ—does this have a point, jeongguk? or are you just pointing out my life's mistakes?”

jeongguk grins and nods, scooting forward. “yes, there’s a point. however, as i was saying before i was rudely interrupted.” yoongi huffs and rolls his eyes a little, even if he’s smiling too. “recently you’ve been making a lot to changes in your life. you apologized to namjoon-hyung. you decided to quit smoking last wednesday. you are in a committed relationship and have an amazing boyfriend.” yoongi laughs out loud at that, biting his bottom lip. the tips of his ears are burning. 

“okay, what i’m saying is that sometimes these big changes come in chunks. like me, for example. i finished my military service and came out to my parents. then got tattoos and pierced my ears and all of it. moved to america. and i’m not saying to move to another country. please don’t do that, actually.” yoongi laughs again and takes jeongguk’s hands when he reaches out. jeongguk smiles and yoongi’s blush spreads everywhere. “just… think about taking steps towards positive change. everyone starts somewhere.”

yoongi sighs a little and squeezes jeongguk’s hands. “why’re you so wise and whatever? i’m the hyung, isn’t it more of a thing for the person who’s older to give advice?”

“if there’s one thing i’ve learned about being in america for four months already, is that it all depends on the stage of life someone’s in. you’re just a little behind, hyung.” jeongguk kisses the tips of each of yoongi’s fingers. “i know you can catch up. i believe in you."

"thank you, jeonggukie." yoongi sighs a little—he really is so lucky to have someone like jeongguk.

++

yoongi resists the urge to punch taehyung and seokjin in the face. they forced him into helping in the kitchen during taehyung’s friends-giving party, but have since abandoned him. still, he calmly finishes making the salad he was tasked with cutting vegetables and creating the dressing, then places it on one end of the island counter. that’s when he notices his shaking hands. the desire to smoke a cigarette has never felt so dire.

in the back of his mind, yoongi knows he shouldn’t, but he habitually slips out the front door without anyone noticing, and sits on the porch steps. it’s risky sitting out front, because namjoon and jimin still haven’t arrived. yoongi still hasn’t made up with jimin, although he knows now that namjoon has shared the news of them being okay with each other because jimin smiled at him a couple of days ago. it was small and jimin steeled his expression after he realized, but yoongi senses they’ll have the talk tonight. 

he clicks his lighter on and off, curling his hand around the pack of cigarettes he still hasn’t brought himself to throw away. the sound of the flame flicking up echos in his ears, above the ringing sound of crickets and the occasional bird chirp. yoongi brings out the pack—knows better, knows better, knows better—but still removes a stick to place between his lips. 

yoongi cups his hand around the cigarette and lights it, despite knowing that everyone inside would be disappointed in him for doing so. he sits silently, enduring the painful burn in his lungs that smoking brings. the clarity to his headache finds him immediately as nicotine settles inside of him. yoongi smokes for about a minute before he thinks, what the fuck am i doing, and puts the cigarette out on his jacket. 

he flings whatever’s remaining in the crack between the floorboards of taehyung’s porch, then runs both hands through his hair. he knew better, and he just hopes he didn’t smoke enough for someone to smell it on him. yoongi hauls himself back to his feet and dusts off the back of his pants, watching jimin’s car carefully pull into the driveway. 

it’s strange seeing how automatically namjoon’s arm goes around jimin’s waist, the two of them talking softly to each other, unaware of yoongi watching them. they weirdly look good together, even if it’s something yoongi will have to get used to. they look at each other with such familiarity and fondness—a soft smile on namjoon’s face, a quiet giggle from jimin’s lips. yoongi averts his eyes when they lean in to kiss. that’s definitely weird.

the smile drops off jimin’s face when they reach the bottom of the porch steps. yoongi offers his own smile and a wave, then grabs the door handle. he clears his throat. “everyone else is already here,” he says and pushes the door open, taking off the slippers he borrowed off the rack. “we were waiting on you to start eating.”

“whatever,” jimin mutters as he shoves past, and namjoon shoots him an apologetic look as he walks past yoongi too. yoongi merely shrugs it off.

the three of them shed their jackets and yoongi goes off to find jeongguk, taking his seat beside him. his hands curl into little fists at his sides, before he unfurls them to tuck between his legs. jeongguk looks away when the conversation he’s having with hoseok dies out, instead looking at the doorway. a grin breaks out on his face and he gets up, going to greet jimin and namjoon with hugs.

yoongi stays seated, palms sweating as an unnatural feeling surges through his chest. he only rises when everyone’s called to get their share of food, and he remains quiet, hanging back as he listens to the conversations rise between everyone. he helps himself to the food everyone prepared and joins the others on the living room floor, eating alone while everyone else is engulfed in their own conversations. seven’s quite the odd number.

he’s the first one to finish, so yoongi returns to the kitchen to wash his dishes. he forgoes beer and goes straight for something stronger, opening a bottle of whiskey and helping himself to a glass. he sips it quietly for a moment, then downs it—then refills it to take back to the living room. yoongi sits down beside jeongguk with his legs folded beneath him, keeping his glass close to him so it wouldn’t accidentally spill.

after some observing, he notices jeongguk start to grow disinterested, drifting to sit closer to him. jeongguk folds one of his legs under him, then pulls yoongi to hold him against his back. yoongi sits there stiffly, uncomfortable with it, but doesn't really push jeongguk away. he freezes even more when he hears jeongguk sniffing him. 

"hyung," he says softly into his ear, and yoongi refuses to look at him. "were you smoking?"

"jeongguk—"

"it's a yes or no question." yoongi swallows down the last of the alcohol in his glass, heart beating deafeningly loud against his chest. jeongguk breathes in and out, slow and calm. his nose brushes over the shell of yoongi's ear. "hyung, gonna ask again. were you smoking?"

yoongi waits a couple seconds and tries to feel the steady beat of jeongguk's heart against his back. he waits until their hearts are beating in sync before he softly says, "yeah, baby, i was. i'm sorry." he shuts his eyes and counts to five, but the rhythm of jeongguk's heart remains in tandem with his own. "you're not mad?"

"why did you think i'd be mad?" jeongguk asks, now forcing yoongi to turn around by his shoulders. the others are still oblivious to their quiet conversation. jeongguk rubs his thumb against yoongi's cheek and looks a little sad. "i'm just a little..." he pauses and shrugs. "we talked about you coming to me when you felt you needed a cigarette. i guess it hurts that you didn't."

"i was afraid you'd judge me," yoongi admits quietly and takes jeongguk's hand, pushing up his sleeve to try and feel his pulse point. he doesn't meet jeongguk's eyes. "i wasn't looking to start pissing people off. i felt like punching someone. and i really—don't want to be doing that."

jeongguk moves his hand away and knowingly brings yoongi's palm to his chest, placing it over his heart. "that's understandable, but still. it's me, yoongi-hyung. i've never judged you."

yoongi sighs and feels pathetic for thinking such a thing in the first place. "the withdrawals make me crazy," he says, feeling his shoulders relax and goosebumps rise when jeongguk trails his fingers along his neck. "and i barely smoked it, anyway. put it out when i realized what i was doing."

"that's good." jeongguk tucks a piece of yoongi's styled hair behind his ear. he leans down and quite shamelessly presses their lips together for a couple of seconds. "can i have them?"

yoongi blinks up at him. "sorry, but have what?"

"your cigarettes." yoongi gives him a bewildered look. jeongguk sighs. "i'm going to throw them away. i didn't want to have to, but it seems like you don't have a lot of self-control."

"you make me sound incapable," yoongi huffs and pushes himself to stand, playfully kicking jeongguk's knee. he goes to the closet near the front door to get his jacket, bringing the pack back into the living room. 

from across the room, jimin watches them with curiosity in his expression. yoongi presses the half-empty pack into jeongguk's hand, watching him get up to throw them away. he returns and wraps his arm around yoongi's torso, pulling him close again. yoongi lets his shoulders drop as he leans against jeongguk's chest, focusing on his heartbeat once more. 

eventually the feeling of needing a cigarette fades, and yoongi rests his head on jeongguk’s shoulder, just quietly watching everyone. occasionally jeongguk will laugh, and the feeling will reverberate throughout yoongi’s entire body until his toes are curling. he presses himself deeper, closer, a growing urge to have jeongguk everywhere around him. it’s a strange feeling, a fluttering inside his ribcage, pressing against his bones—yoongi lifts jeongguk’s hand to kiss his knuckles. 

he excuses himself, though, when he notices jimin is the only one missing from the living room floor. yoongi finds him in the kitchen, opening two bottles of beer. he turns with one in each hand, then lowers them a little after spotting yoongi leaning against the kitchen doorframe. 

“i don’t want to talk to you,” jimin says flatly, but his expression shows otherwise. 

yoongi puts his hands in the pockets of his pants, shaking his hair out of his eyes. “come on, mini,” he says softly, shaking his head a little. jimin’s pupils are shaking, the grip on the two beers slipping. yoongi walks over and gently takes them from him, setting them on the island counter. “i know that’s not true.”

“sit down,” yoongi says and guides jimin by his shoulders to sit at the kitchen table. he goes willingly and curls into himself, trying to make himself look smaller. yoongi kneels in front of him, hesitantly placing his hands on jimin’s knees, rubbing them through his jeans. jimin puts his hands on yoongi’s, holding onto him tightly. “look, jimin, i fucked up. i fucked up a lot and i realize that now—i know that’s not an excuse for half the things i’ve done. i lied to you, and that wasn’t okay.”

already, jimin is teary-eyed, but yoongi keeps going. if he doesn’t let this out now, he doesn’t really know what will happen, and he’d rather not find out. “i took you for granted, as my best friend,” he says and jimin sniffs, holding onto yoongi’s hands with an even tighter grip. yoongi lets go with one hand to wipe his own eyes—he doesn’t even know when they started getting wet. “i told myself you’d always be here for me, and it wasn’t right to put that kind of expectation on you. i never stopped to consider what i could have been putting you through.

“especially in regards to joonie. i was bitter, for the longest time, that you and him were dating. with the things i’ve said about him in passing, i can see why you thought i hated him, but i don’t think i ever did. i was just…” yoongi trails off, struggling to find the right words. 

jimin reaches up and fixes yoongi’s bangs. “were you jealous?” he asks, and yoongi opens his mouth to deny that. he’s never felt anything more than platonic affection for both jimin and namjoon, why on earth would he be jealous? “not of us, yoongi.” jimin laughs and flicks yoongi on the forehead. yoongi rubs the spot after and pouts, watching a smile tug on the corner of jimin’s mouth. “i just mean of being in a relationship. we were both your best friends and you go away for a year and a half, and suddenly they’re dating. if i were you, yeah, i’d feel a little jealous about not having a relationship.”

“wow,” yoongi mutters and laughs, shaking his head. “maybe that was it. i was just a loser who was alone, i guess.”

“you’re not a loser. you can’t be my friend and be a loser, it just doesn’t happen.” jimin stands and yoongi does too, letting jimin hug him. yoongi sighs and puts his arms around jimin’s waist, holding him tightly. 

yoongi rests his chin over jimin’s shoulder and says, “i’m really sorry, mini.”

“i know you are.” jimin pulls away and rubs yoongi’s shoulders, smiling brightly. “i’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment. i was just—upset. but that was immature of me. we’re not in high school anymore.”

“you needed time. i understand that.” yoongi manages to smile back, wiping jimin’s cheeks too. he grabs the bottles of beer again, handing them back. 

before they go back to the living room, jimin bumps one of the bottles against yoongi’s arm playfully. “you’re not alone anymore,” he says and yoongi ducks his head sheepishly, unable to stop a blush from taking over his face. “oh wow, you really like him, huh?” yoongi can’t bring himself to confirm verbally, so he just shrugs. “i hope jeongguk sticks around, honestly. it seems like he’s really good for you. and it looks like you make him really happy too.”

“shut up.” yoongi pushes him towards the doorway and follows him back into the living room.

yoongi sits on an empty spot on the couch, eyes wandering around the room when he notices a couple people are missing. out comes taehyung and jeongguk from the hallway, and yoongi’s eyebrows shoot up at the sight of the noraebang machine they’re both carrying. seokjin immediately shoots out of his seat to help connect it to taehyung’s large flat screen tv.

“oh no,” yoongi whispers to himself upon realizing what’s happening. “i never should have left the room.”

he watches in pure horror as seokjin cranks out the lyrics to an old korean song. and it's not that he's a bad singer or anything, it's just deafeningly loud as taehyung and hoseok scream along, jeongguk occasionally with the parts he knows. someone shoves a bottle of soju in yoongi's hand, which he ends up finishing by himself, and the rest is history. 

everyone descends into drunk chaos with the noraebang machine. well, yoongi doesn’t really know how it happens, but he gets dragged in too. he swears he didn't have more than that one bottle of soju—okay, and maybe jimin gave him more shots, but still. it wasn't really supposed to land him in this situation. 

yoongi catches the microphone after jimin shoves it into his chest. "there's english options too!" he shouts and yoongi vehemently protests while he's forced to his feet. jeongguk watches with a twinkle in his eyes, making no effort to stop them from making yoongi do a song. yoongi glares, though with no malice.

"come on, hyung!" jeongguk shouts, laughing with his body against hoseok's. everyone, even namjoon, eggs yoongi on to do a song.

"no, no, please—" yoongi whines as jimin grips his forearm to keep him in place, typing a song title into the machine. "what are you even—"

jimin smooshes his finger to yoongi's lips and shushes him. yoongi surprisingly falls quiet, though taehyung and seokjin are still obnoxiously loud around them. "aren't you still fluent in rap god?"

"aren't i—jimin park, don't you dare!"

it's too late when the opening notes of eminem's rap god play in the speaker. yoongi panics, grabs the second microphone, and glances around the room. he holds it out for namjoon, recalling the nights they stayed up as kids to memorize the lyrics together. "you can't forget this shit," he says with a tinge of challenge. namjoon stares for a second before gripping it and pulling himself up. 

admittedly, yoongi's flow isn't amazing when he's drunk, but whenever he's fumbling on the words, namjoon fills in for him. everyone else is hyping them up, and yoongi almost manages to spit out the fast verse, but collapses about halfway through. he can't get back up because he's laughing so hard, the inside of his stomach aching from it. he can't remember the last time he's felt this happy. 

they get cut off for jeongguk and jimin to sing after, and it's a slow song that yoongi somewhat remembers listening to once with jeongguk. halfway through the song, jimin relents in letting jeongguk sing alone, dropping into namjoon’s lap. and yoongi watches in amazement from where he’s now leaning on the couch, still seated on the floor. jeongguk directs his attention to him, singing his little heart out to yoongi. the room is swaying.

yoongi grows flustered fast and jeongguk grins during a brief instrumental break, then sends a wink that makes yoongi’s face get hotter. he watches jeongguk finish off the song and sit in the spot beside yoongi, breathing heavily. his hair is curling from sweat, strands of his hair hanging across his forehead. he smiles and yoongi’s chest aches for a second before he smiles back.

“oh my god, guys,” taehyung says, drawing everyone’s attention to himself. he points at namjoon and jimin on the one seater couch, but jimin’s curled up in namjoon’s lap, the latter's arms cradling him close—and they’re both fast asleep. “i don’t know if i should be mortified or jealous.”

“mortified,” hoseok slurs and even looks at yoongi and jeongguk in disgust. he looks up at the ceiling and slumps against the back of the couch. “get me out of here.”

seokjin lets out a drunk hiccup, then covers his mouth for a second. he’s koala wrapped himself around taehyung, so yoongi isn’t too sure why taehyung is talking about being mortified. even he and jeongguk aren’t that bad. “did you guys not see that? jeonggukie just serenaded yoongi!” he pulls on taehyung’s shirt collar and whispers something into his ear. yoongi doesn’t want to know what would make taehyung turn that shade of red.

“alright. i’m turning in,” yoongi announces and stands, grabbing onto the armrest to steady himself. “tae, where’s the guest room we’re using?”

jeongguk follows in standing, hugging yoongi from behind, holding him against his chest. yoongi very vaguely listens to taehyung’s instructions about the guest rooms, and climbs the stairs with jeongguk still clinging to him. they stumble into a couple bedrooms, jeongguk incoherently mumbling into yoongi’s ear while he struggles to keep them both upright. 

finally, yoongi finds the room with jeongguk’s gym bag and his own backpack on the bed, and they both fall on top of it. well, jeongguk pretty much pins yoongi to the mattress, half-asleep and breathing on his face. “jeongguk,” he says and writhes beneath the weight of jeongguk’s body, trying to get him off. “please baby, you’re crushing me.”

“hyung’s so comfy,” he mumbles into yoongi’s neck, then accidentally knees him in the crotch while trying to get comfortable.

“fucking hell,” yoongi hisses and manages to shove jeongguk to the side, giving himself a moment to recuperate. 

jeongguk lifts his head and squints, then starts to pull on the fabric of his shirt, muttering too hot, too hot in korean. after yoongi readjusts and fully recovers from the lingering pain in his groin, he catches jeongguk’s hands by his wrists. “relax, okay?” he mumbles and unbuttons jeongguk’s shirt, though he fumbles with them because well, he’s drunk too. jeongguk just nods and pushes off the shirt when it’s been completely unbuttoned, leaving him in his tank-top, then gestures for yoongi to do his pants too.

sighing, yoongi takes off his belt and tugs off his jeans, helping him into a pair of pajama pants folded neatly in his bag. he snuggles under the blanket after and yoongi sighs, getting up to brush his teeth in the attached bathroom. he removes what little make-up jeongguk did for him, then the same to jeongguk’s nearly-asleep face, before changing and joining him in bed. jeongguk puts his arm around him, pulling them chest to chest.

his eyes are small, barely open, though no less bright than they usually are. he leans close and places a half-hearted kiss to the corner of yoongi’s mouth, then rests his face in the crook of his neck. 

“you know,” he whispers, lips brushing against his yoongi’s jawline. yoongi simply hums, trailing his fingers along the bare skin of jeongguk’s arm, stopping when he reaches his hand. their fingers slide together with ease. “i don’t know if you realize how much you’ve helped me, too.”

“why do you say that?” yoongi asks, lifting his hand once more to pet the back of jeongguk’s head. he feels out the damp curls, scratching his scalp, absorbing all the warmth radiating off his body.

jeongguk sighs deeply, then pulls out of yoongi’s neck. he settles his cheek against the pillow, staring at yoongi fondly through his sleepy gaze. yoongi kisses the tip of his nose and brushes his hair back, about to tell jeongguk to just sleep when he says, “you take care of me. in a way—no one else does.” jeongguk yawns and his eyes shut. “you made me realize—i’m not perfect. and it’s okay to not be perfect.” 

he’s fast asleep after that and yoongi shuts his eyes too, letting his lips touch jeongguk’s forehead. if he didn’t know any better, he might say that he’s falling in love with jeongguk—but yoongi doesn’t even know what that means, so he keeps that thought locked up tight, in a vault deep within his brain. he yawns too and lets himself fall asleep, his hand loosely in jeongguk’s. he feels so content.

++

yoongi's pretty indifferent about clubbing. he doesn't love it, he doesn't hate it—the only thing that gets him is the cost and the crowds. however, when seokjin hints that he wants to have his birthday party at a club, yoongi feels unsure about it. it's not like he's turning an age that's so monumental that he has to have a huge party, but seokjin's just like that. he doesn't say it very directly, but yoongi knows he really wants this. 

so yoongi enlists jimin and taehyung to help him plan it on such short notice, so they meet up to do so. he had made the decision to move in with hoseok—he's not too far from jeongguk's apartment in west hollywood, or his parent's restaurant in koreatown. the rent is steep, but yoongi thinks he can scrape by if he picks up tutoring kids in piano again. jeongguk has already made a couple of flyers to hang in the restaurant window. 

the room isn't bad either—it's just a bit cramped. there's barely room for a bed and a desk, absolutely no space for a dresser except for in the closet, and the window doesn't quite open all the way. well, it's not the nicest place, but hoseok says they'll look for a new one if living together works out. all they have to do is wait a few months for the lease to be up. well, not the point, but the three of them plan while they help (a.k.a. do absolutely nothing to help) yoongi move in. 

taehyung is running through a list of different clubs to go to while yoongi does all the hard labor of assembling his desk. jimin is sprawled on the bed with his legs over taehyung’s lap, half-asleep. yoongi wonders if he’s even listening, but he speaks up whenever taehyung says the name of a club he doesn’t like. yoongi’s not even sure if he’s qualified to be part of the planning process when he’s not really been around to half these places.

“that’s fifteen mid-scale clubs you’ve already said no to,” taehyung states and flops lifelessly beside jimin. “if this were new york, it could work. actually—“

“you are not flying us to new york,” yoongi cuts off, grunting as he shuffles through the pieces of wood. the instruction manual is open in front of him, but they’re always so vague that it’s not making any sense. “look, hyung will be happy if you just get us on the list somewhere expensive. you are constantly complaining about the copious amounts of cash you have, so use it.”

taehyung flings his leg over the edge of the bed, but yoongi ducks in time to miss his kick. “you have anywhere in mind?”

yoongi shrugs. “no?” he laughs and scrunches up his nose at the instructions. “only this illegal club that’s long been shut down. i used to perform there before i got arrested.”

“oh yeah, i remember that place,” jimin says while tapping his chin. “i followed you there once and you got mad at me for it.”

“you were fifteen, can you really blame me?”

taehyung waves his hands in the air. “hold on, hold on. you’ve been arrested?”

yoongi stops and blinks at taehyung a few times. “you didn’t know?” he asks and raises one eyebrow. “i thought everyone knew?”

“no, excuse me, everyone does not know!” taehyung sits up and yoongi picks up his screwdriver to put a screw in top of one of the legs of the desk. there’s movement outside of yoongi’s bedroom door and taehyung says, “hey jeongguk, did you know your boyfriend’s been arrested?”

jeongguk laughs from somewhere behind yoongi, but he stays focused on the task at hand. “uh, yes? why?” he asks and pops his head down to kiss yoongi’s cheek, then join the other three on the bed. “it’s one of first things he told to me.”

“hoseok-hyung!” taehyung shouts and the building process clicks in yoongi’s mind, biting his lip as he finally finishes the desk he’s been working on for about an hour. there are footsteps across the living room floor and into yoongi’s bedroom while he sets the small desk upright. “did you know yoongi-hyung’s been arrested?”

yoongi places his backpack on top of the desk and pushes in the chair he brought from his parent’s house, then turns to face hoseok in the doorway. “yeah, he told me a while ago,” hoseok says and shrugs, leaning on the doorframe. yoongi looks back at taehyung with his eyebrows raised, then stares longingly at the fact that there’s absolutely no room on his bed. “it happened like, a long time ago, right?”

“yeah, i was eighteen. that’s what, seven years?”

“actually, it’s more like eight years now that you’re closer to twenty-six,” jeongguk says, and yoongi shoots him a glare while he giggles into one of the pillows. “maybe you should go back to school.”

yoongi shrugs a little and sits on the corner of the bed, near everyone’s feet. jimin nudges his toes into his back. “i know you’re saying it jokingly, but i’m seriously considering it.”

hoseok nods and moves to sit on the floor, leaning against the wall. “you should,” he says and stretches his legs out, wiggling his toes. yoongi looks at himself in the mirror doors of his closet, fiddling with his hair. “honestly, hyung, you’re better off with your GED or something like that. you’ll have more opportunities that way.”

“that’s not even the part i’m worried about.” he laughs bitterly and frowns at himself, pulling the skin on his cheek. has he gained some weight recently? maybe he should consider going to the gym with jeongguk more often. maybe even with hoseok, so there’s no risk of getting distracted. yoongi sighs and drops his hands into his lap. “no one wants a guy with a criminal record, you know? especially with one like mine.”

“which is…” taehyung prods, poking yoongi with his toe. 

“theft.” he looks over his shoulder for a second to see taehyung’s expression, but it’s unreadable, so he looks back at himself in the mirror. “i’m not like that anymore, obviously. whatever—how did we start talking about me?" he clears his throat and stands again, moving a couple of boxes to start filling his dresser drawers. "point is, i don't know any clubs to go to. i’m still in support of the pay for an expensive club idea.”

he narrows his eyes at his bed and resolves on saying, "you know what? figure it out yourselves. jeongguk, stay. everyone else, kindly get the fuck out." when taehyung opens his mouth to protest, yoongi gives him one look before he's dragging jimin out of the room with him. yoongi sends jeongguk a wink and hoseok shuts the door when he leaves too, wiggling his eyebrows at yoongi. he’s not sure what that’s supposed to mean. yoongi shakes his head and drags over some boxes to unpack. 

"you're pent up," jeongguk says after yoongi's been folding his clothes for a few minutes. 

"why would you say that," he mutters back and unfolds a shirt to do it again. 

"because... i just watched you fold that shirt like, five times." he sits up and moves to the edge of the bed, grabbing yoongi's hand to stop him from continuing. "stop. you don't need to do this all in one day." yoongi feels unconvinced until jeongguk tugs on his arm, smiling. "lie down with me."

yoongi sighs, has the inability to say no to jeongguk, so he joins his boyfriend in lying on top of his bed. he lets jeongguk settle his head on top of his chest, absentmindedly running his hand through his hair. "how were your classes?" yoongi finally asks softly, taking a deep breath to steady his mind.

"they were okay. same as usual," jeongguk replies and lifts his head, nudging his mouth against yoongi's. yoongi gives him a lazy kiss before turning away to stare at the ceiling. a frown briefly twitches onto jeongguk's face before it disappears. "hyung."

"i'm sorry, okay? i'm just tired."

"are you sure—"

"jeongguk."

"maybe i can make you so—"

sighing again, yoongi merely presses his lips to the side of jeongguk’s head and mumbles, “just shut up and lie with me, okay?”

jeongguk is quiet for a couple of seconds before he nods and kisses yoongi’s cheek. “okay,” he mumbles back, but yoongi can feel his restlessness when he keeps shifting his position, feet kicking into yoongi’s. he waits for jeongguk to start talking again, and figures he’ll take the distraction, rather than try to push him away. “you know,” he starts and yoongi just grins at the ceiling. “i’m thinking of dropping the computer science major and doing graphic design instead. i think i like it more. it’s still kind of tech-based, but it’s also kind of art too, in someways. it’d be fun.”

“oh!” jeongguk sits up abruptly and grabs his bag, so yoongi turns his head a little to watch him. jeongguk pulls out his laptop and types in the password, tongue poking into the side of his cheek as he pulls something up. yoongi sits up more to peer at the screen, then furrows his eyebrows a little. jeongguk pushes it into his lap. “i remember before we started dating, you casually mentioned something about this. and um… i just started working on it for fun, but then it ballooned and yeah. that’s the final product.”

yoongi shuts his gaping mouth and runs his thumb over the corner of jeongguk’s laptop screen. “jeongguk,” he mumbles, scrolling through the new website for his parent’s restaurant. a smile curls onto his face, one of pride. he turns to jeongguk and kisses him on the lips properly, like he deserved in the first place. “this is amazing. you made this from… scratch?”

he nods enthusiastically and takes back his laptop gently, minimizing the windows before shutting the screen. he slides it onto yoongi’s desk and turns towards him, looking shy and embarrassed about it. “yeah, i mean… yeah. it’s just some coding.” he shrugs like it’s nothing but yoongi shakes his head, refusing to let jeongguk play it off like it’s not a big deal. “ah, come on, hyung. it’s really nothing. just a side project.”

“it’s not nothing. people have been complaining about our website for years, and i never knew how to fix it. i made that first one when i was like, fourteen.” yoongi leans over and kisses him once, then again because he can and he likes the way jeongguk smiles after. “thank you. it really means a lot to me.”

jeongguk licks his lips and brushes some hair out of his face. “um, something else,” he says as yoongi lies down again, feeling much more relaxed now that jeongguk has effectively distracted him from the other problems brewing in his life. jeongguk returns to his position and sighs, seeming hesitant to continue. yoongi waits, quiet and tracing the inked patterns on his arm. “sooo… my parents… are going to visit, um, over winter break.” 

“okay…”

“and i want you to meet them.” jeongguk shifts his head and presses his nose into yoongi’s neck. yoongi looks down at him, smoothing back his hair to see his entire face. his eyes are shut, nose twitching for a moment before he continues, “um… i just—i think our relationship is pretty serious, you know? and um… yeah, i want them to meet you, and it doesn’t matter if they approve or not, i just want them to know you. i mean—i told them, about you and stuff. and my mom says she’s excited to meet you.”

“hey. i’ll happily meet your parents, okay?” he presses his lips to jeongguk’s forehead, smiling a little wider when jeongguk pushes himself up on his elbow, serious expression on. yoongi matches his expression, not wanting it to seem like he’s joking. “our relationship is very serious to me too. i really think… that my feelings for you will grow.” yoongi looks away, but faces jeongguk again after his head is forced back towards him. “i like you a lot, is all.”

jeongguk giggles softly and brushes the tip of his nose against yoongi’s. “i like you a lot too, yoongi-hyung.”

yoongi pushes some of jeongguk’s hair back, finally smiling a little. “do you want to help me unpack?” he asks and kisses his lips, tracing the tip of his index finger along the moles of his cheek. “we can play some music, and if the others can help if they want. i admit i was tense before, like you said, but uhhh, you always put me in a better mood. or something.”

“what’s with your constant uncertainty?” jeongguk asks jokingly, kissing yoongi again, for longer and deeper, palm sliding down his chest. yoongi kisses him back, then pushes jeongguk away to see him smiling down at him. an unknown feeling takes over in his chest. “the more people there are, the faster it’ll go, right?”

after a minute, yoongi and jeongguk detangle and get up. yoongi opens his bedroom door and plays some music on a speaker, getting to unpacking with jeongguk. he lets jeongguk do his clothes while he deals with his recording and production equipment, carefully setting each piece up on his desk. the other three are passing in and out of the room, not particularly helping, but just making conversation to pass the time. namjoon brings over beers and pizza—yoongi’s still getting used to having him around.

the closet is filled up in no time, so yoongi joins jeongguk on the floor to sort through miscellaneous belongings that he just threw into a few boxes while packing. he was too eager to get out of his parent’s apartment, and much to his surprise, they were both all for him moving out. well, when he thinks about it, it makes sense. yoongi’s sure that his parents didn’t want for him to live with them for the rest of his life. but he wasn’t ready until now, and they were understanding about that. 

jeongguk sits criss-cross on the floor and dumps out the contents of one of the boxes, furrowing his eyebrows. “i’m sorry but americans are so messy, i don’t understand,” he says and sifts through the clutter. he picks up an old, very old, toy race-car. he looks up, unamused and disbelieving expression on. he sighs and asks, “why do you need this, hyung?”

“i don’t. it’s from when i was like, four. and i really don’t think messiness is an exclusively american thing,” yoongi says and takes the toy car, throwing it in the donation box. he picks up a few other things from his childhood, briefly allows himself to reminisce, then either trashes it or throws it in the donation box. 

there’s a cleared spot in the center where a small bottle of lube lays on its side. yoongi coughs a little and plucks it off the floor, knowing it’s fairly new because he bought it a little before meeting jeongguk, and quietly slips it into the top drawer of his desk. jeongguk shoots him a look, seeming confused, and yoongi just brushes it off. they haven’t talked about that sort of thing. 

instead of questioning it, jeongguk picks up a box of blue hair dye and grins a little. he holds it up for yoongi to see, wiggling it a little. “why do you need this?”

“i thought about doing blue after i bleached my hair last time,” yoongi says and takes it from him, sliding it onto his desk to put in the bathroom later.

“didn’t you just get it cut and touched up a few weeks ago?” jeongguk asks and twists of piece of yoongi’s hair between his fingers. “meaning you were thinking about it recently?”

yoongi shrugs and shifts to sit on his knees, leaning over the pile of junk without answering. he looks up when jeongguk lifts his chin with his index finger, mischievous look in his eye. “lets do it,” he says and grabs the box from where yoongi just placed it. 

“what, right now?” 

jeongguk nods enthusiastically. “come on, hyung, it’ll be fun!”

“i don’t think i trust you near my hair,” yoongi admits and takes the hair dye back despite jeongguk’s whining, and it’s so hard to say no to him, so he holds out for all of ten seconds before he grumbles, “fine.” 

so twenty minutes later, yoongi ends up sitting in front of the bathroom mirror, jeongguk perched safely away from his hair on the counter. instead, taehyung is behind him with gloves on, mixing the hair dye—and at least he’s trustworthy because he’s already gone from blue to purple since yoongi met him. he feels strange, almost, suddenly having more than just jimin as his friend. he never imagined being here with a bunch of korean friends who care about him so much. 

yoongi is so grateful for them, even if taehyung gets into his business sometimes, or if hoseok loudly sings along when there's music playing. and jimin, of course, even if he’s consistently a pain if yoongi’s ass. now namjoon too, he supposes; despite his initial hesitance, they seem to be getting along just fine. not to forget seokjin, as a big brother yoongi never had, a supporting figure over the last five years. last, but certainly not least, yoongi is so grateful he met jeongguk, even if he makes yoongi feel things he doesn’t quite understand yet. 

it almost feels like they're a small family.

++

as predicted, seokjin’s birthday is a disaster in the best way possible. well, yoongi isn’t really sure because he got so drunk that he doesn’t remember more than half the night. he knows for sure that jimin forced him into an outfit with way too much skin for early december, he knows for sure that he got so drunk that he was very loose-lipped with jeongguk (who didn’t seem to mind anyway), and he knows for absolute sure that they left the club late into the night to go back to taehyung’s house and crash.

the last thing yoongi knows for sure is that jeongguk fell asleep beside him last night. he thinks maybe they made out a little when they got back to taehyung’s house, the possibility of something more swimming in his mind, but his head is pounding so much when his eyes open that he doesn’t want to think about it.

his body is lying sideways on taehyung’s living room couch, draped in a warm blanket that’s been tucked meticulously around the curve of his body. yoongi rolls off the couch and lands on his back, landing hard on the rug covered floor, but he should have expected that from such an action. all he’s wondering is where is jeongguk. it feels too early to be awake after a long night partying.

yoongi stumbles to his feet, shivering with the blanket still tightly around him. he blinks his bleary eyes around the dark living room, the only light coming from the hallway that connects to the kitchen. yoongi waddles through the hallway and peers into the kitchen, glaring at the digital clock that blinks 9:13 AM, when he probably fell asleep somewhere near four o’clock in the morning.

he has half a mind to take out his phone beneath the blanket, sitting curled up at the kitchen table, shoulders hunched. yoongi taps the screen after sticking his hands out just enough to see it, only one eye open, and his fingers fumble to text jeongguk. quietly, he stands after that, and wanders around the house in search of his boyfriend.

however, yoongi comes up empty after checking every single room, and peeking into the backyard after pulling aside the living room curtains. all he saw were taehyung and seokjin asleep on taehyung’s bed, with hoseok sprawled out on the floor, using a bag for a pillow. (yoongi felt bad about that. it couldn’t have been comfortable.) all the guest rooms had been empty except for one, where namjoon laid asleep under the covers, and yoongi assumed jimin was the lump under it too. he thought he saw tufts of blonde hair from under the blanket.

yoongi plops back on the couch and finally sheds the blanket, shivering as the cold air hits his skin. he retrieves his phone again and settles on calling jeongguk, phone pressed to his ear. the room's kind of spinning, and yoongi wonders if he’ll throw up, but then he hears jeongguk say, “hello?” in korean.

“where are you?” yoongi croaks, his voice definitely more gone that he thought it would be. he coughs a little and softly adds, “did you leave tae’s without me?”

jeongguk laughs, but he sounds much more nervous than yoongi would think he’d be this early in the morning. “um, yeah? i dropped you off there with the others after last night,” he says and yoongi furrows his eyebrows, wracking his brain to remember this detail. but everything’s too much of a blur, so he comes up empty. “hyung, um, i’m with my parents. i had to meet them at the airport. you remember that, right?”

quite vaguely, yoongi thinks he remembers jeongguk giving him more details about his parent’s arrival for winter break a couple of days ago. he thought jeongguk had said fifteenth, and not fifth when he was explaining it to him. “shit,” yoongi murmurs and clears his throat again. “that was today? thought it was gonna be after finals.”

“um, no.” he pauses, much too long for yoongi’s comfort. he’s too tired for jeongguk’s awkwardness, and is about to ask another question when he blurts, “hyung, you’re on speaker. they can hear you. i’m driving.”

“you… don’t have a car,” is what yoongi says instead of fretting over the fact that his boyfriend’s parents just is hearing him for the first time as someone who is hungover and barely awake. not to mention, he cursed in front of them, and that probably won’t help when they inevitably end up meeting each other. 

“it’s a rental, hyung.” jeongguk sighs, and the line goes strangely quiet for a little while. yoongi lazily pulls his phone away from his ear to check if jeongguk is still there, then realizes he’s probably on mute. “listen, please let me call you later,” jeongguk says after unmuting again, and yoongi finally notices that sound of los angeles traffic in the background. 

yoongi clears his throat again and presses his lips together, trying to wake himself up. “alright,” he says quietly and bites his lips, wondering how he should end the call. does he bring up the parents? should he address them directly? no, that’d be weird—he doesn’t even know if jeongguk’s parents know that it’s jeongguk’s boyfriend on the phone. he settles on saying, “i’ll talk to you later, ‘kay?” but his mind is so addled so he adds the softest, “love you,” before he presses the hang-up button.

immediately yoongi realizes what he said. he throws his phone to the far end of the couch and buries his face in his hands, sweat pressing into his shirt. he realizes how uncomfortable he is in the partially see-through button up and the jeans that are digging mercilessly into his hips. yoongi trudges back upstairs and slips into taehyung’s bedroom, stepping over hoseok to get onto the bed.

he pokes taehyung in the cheek with his index fingers. taehyung whines, shifts, and grabs yoongi by the forearm to tug him between him and seokjin. seokjin grunts and turns so his back is facing yoongi. “tae,” yoongi hisses, trying to wake him. his head his throbbing still, but he’s much too awake to go back to sleep. and being alone with his thoughts is too scary. taehyung flings his hand over yoongi’s mouth and shushes him, then goes back to sleep.

yoongi carefully finds his way back off the bed and considers waking hoseok, but he looks way too peaceful for his uncomfortable position. he heads for the guest room that jimin and namjoon are using. this time, he takes a chance and gently knocks before twisting the knob. the number on the alarm clock say it’s closer to ten am now, and namjoon is awake on his phone. he lowers his phone a little and yoongi goes to shut the door, but namjoon mouths, what’s up?

unsure, yoongi shakes his head, but then reconsiders. if anyone had advice about a relationship, it would be namjoon or jimin, the latter fast asleep, still with his nose barely over the blanket. namjoon puts on his glasses and pushes himself out of the bed before yoongi really has the chance to tell him he’s fine. he slides past yoongi, who finally regains the consciousness to shut the door.

“you look… frenzied,” namjoon says and slips his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants, then adjusts the glasses on his face. his eyebrows furrow. yoongi’s hand is still on the doorknob. “you’re sweating.”

“i made a mistake,” he says without even thinking, letting go of the doorknob, just to put his hand over his mouth. yoongi lowers his hand to speak again. “not a mistake, but i did one of those things that you do when you’re not really thinking.”

namjoon shakes his head a little and points towards the staircase. “you’re not making sense,” he says, and yoongi sighs, playing back the sentence in his mind. he’s not making sense to himself either. “coffee? it’ll help the both of us.”

“yeah,” yoongi agrees and trails down the stairs behind namjoon. 

after some extensive searching in taehyung’s pantry, they find some instant coffee, and namjoon makes yoongi sit at the island while he boils the water. he makes the coffee with such practiced ease that it makes yoongi wonder if he drinks instant coffee at home. 

he’s very quickly snapped out of his thoughts when namjoon places a mug in front of him, the smell of caffeine just barely relieving in drumming against his skull. “thank you,” he intones after takes a long, much needed sip. 

namjoon seats himself on yoongi’s left, clutching a mug of coffee between his hands as well. “so—what exactly did you do?”

“it’s… “ he trials off and sighs. “it’s a relationship thing.”

“i am an expert on relationships.” namjoon grins and his hand touches the pendant around his neck; the crescent one with the little heart on it. yoongi finds himself staring at it. “mini likes the romantic stuff,” namjoon says when he notices, and yoongi flashes a smile back, and a nod. he obviously knows that, but he’ll let namjoon have his moment. “anyway. yeah. i’m an expert on this stuff. jimin and i have been dating for almost five years.”

yoongi feels himself getting derailed when he asks, “you gonna marry him?”

namjoon’s smile doesn’t fade even for a second. the dimple in his cheek is just as prominent as it was when he was sixteen. “can you keep a secret?” yoongi nods, not quite catching up yet. “we’re going to the snow, for christmas, this year. just the two of us, you know.” yoongi nods again. “gonna ask him then. jimin loves the snow. and one of my earliest memories with him in snow is when we went to yosemite before he graduated.”

yoongi’s eyebrows twitch into a frown for a second. “even though i wasn’t before, i am happy for you guys. you make a cute couple.”

“thanks.” namjoon takes a noisy sip of his coffee, and yoongi does the same after being reminded of his own. “so… a problem with your boyfriend, then?”

yoongi licks his lips and looks down at his mug of coffee. “no,” he says and traces the rim, unsure how to explain what he feels. just two weeks ago he was talking about not touching on the fact that he’s falling in love with jeongguk, but now he’s gone and said it. and oh god, it’s hitting yoongi that he said it in english, which makes it all the more real. he opens his mouth, then shuts it, opening it again to finally say, “i know this is probably a weird question, but when you and mini said i love you, what… went down?”

namjoon whistles and laughs, shaking his head. “well, i have no idea how much you know about us, but—”

“assume i know nothing because i probably don’t. except for your fights, sorry.”

“don’t apologize. i already told you i’m grateful you’re there for jimin when i’m not.” namjoon smiles again and yoongi only nods, drinking his coffee. he wonders what jeongguk is thinking right now. oh god, what if jeongguk doesn’t feel the same way? that’ll be awful. yoongi can’t believe how badly he messed up with this, all because he was too tired to control himself. “in that case, well… i’ve probably known i had feelings for jimin when we were in high school?”

yoongi blinks at him. “seriously? that long?”

“i mean… yeah.” namjoon ducks his head, fluffed up hair falling in his eyes for a second. “i won’t spell out all the reasons why i love jimin otherwise you’d probably cut your ears off. it’s a—yeah, never mind. that is not the point.” he sighs and shakes his head. “i told him after about four months of dating. i confessed this whole thing of how i’ve been pining after him since like, my senior year. and okay, it did help that you weren’t around—“

“wow. thanks.”

namjoon cracks a smile and pushes lightheartedly on yoongi’s shoulder. “but when i did that, jimin just asked me to wait for him. he said it was okay that i said it, but he wanted to figure out his feelings. i let him, i kept reminding him that i loved him, and just… one day he said it back.” he shrugs after that. “that’s it. we talked it out.”

yoongi presses his lips together. “okay, so… what if i accidentally said it over the phone while my boyfriend was in the car with his parents?” he asks, then unhelpfully adds, “and while on speakerphone.”

“are you still drunk or something?”

“what—no!” yoongi flicks namjoon on the temple when he laughs, and crosses his arms over his chest, scowling down at the half-empty mug of coffee. “i told jeongguk i love him before hanging up, and i don’t know if it’s too soon to be saying shit like that. but like…” yoongi trails off, sighing, dropping his arms as an image of jeongguk appears in his mind. his jeongguk, happy and smiling—yoongi's favorite person. “it’s true, joonie. i think i do love him.”

“are you worried he doesn’t love you back?”

yoongi opens his mouth, then clamps it shut, picking up his mug again. he takes a sip and places it on the counter, shutting his eyes as he slowly nods his head. “yeah. i don’t know. maybe it’s too early for him.”

namjoon shakes his head and brushes it off. “nah, find that unlikely. dude’s really head over heels for you, yoongi. he never shuts up about you when we’re hanging out, it’s insane how much he likes you. yoongi-hyung, this and yoongi-hyung, that.” he smiles a little at yoongi, who only frowns back. “come on, man. do you not see the way jeongguk looks at you?”

“what do you mean?” asks yoongi, confused. does jeongguk look at him a certain way? 

namjoon lifts his chin a little, looking disappointed for a second. “he looks at you like you created the fucking universe. jeongguk looks at you with this certain glint in his eyes, uses a very specific smile while he's listening to you talk. he talks about you like your some otherworldly being, talks you up to anyone we meet at parties and such.” he takes on a mocking jeongguk tone which is not at all accurate, speaking korean to say, “my boyfriend writes music. my boyfriend’s a talented producer and song-writer. my boyfriend—“

embarrassed, yoongi slams his hand over namjoon’s mouth. “enough, i get it.” he sighs. “so jeongguk will probably say it back?”

namjoon chuckles a little and pushes yoongi’s hand away. he stands with his coffee mug in hand. “text him. maybe call him when you know he’s alone. all i know is he has very strong feelings for you, yoongi.” he walks away and back up the stairs, probably to check on jimin. 

yoongi lingers on the stool for some time with his phone in his hand, his coffee now forgotten and too cold to even have one sip. he sends jeongguk a text asking when he can come over, receiving a response not a minute later asking if now is a good time. yoongi confirms and leaves a lazy note for the others on the counter so they aren’t worried, slipping on his shoes after calling a car to taehyung’s house.

the drive to jeongguk’s apartment is short because it’s mid-morning by now, and yoongi takes the stairs by two because he’s too impatient. when he reaches jeongguk’s apartment, he paces up and down the hallway for about five minutes, contemplating what to say and how the situation will turn out. yoongi stops in front of jeongguk’s door and stares at the small heart jeongguk drew beside the number. he curls his hand into a fist and knocks.

it only takes a handful of seconds of jeongguk to open the door. he’s dressed comfortably in sweatpants and a hoodie, eyes hiding behind the pieces of hair in his face. when he leans in for a kiss, yoongi stops him and slips past his body to go inside the apartment. his nerves are giving him the jitters. the first thing he does is go into the bathroom to finally brush his teeth, then strips out of the clothes he wore in the club last night.

“um, okay,” jeongguk says as he shuts his bedroom door, finding yoongi shirtless and putting on shorts. his eyes are glued to the expanse of yoongi’s chest. “didn’t think you’d be coming here to get naked, you know?”

yoongi murmurs an apology, pulling on one of his favorite hoodies that belongs to jeongguk, then slides his feet along the wood floor. he stands on his toes and kisses jeongguk, holding the back of his head lightly. “sorry,” he says again and sits on the edge of jeongguk’s bed, picking at the dry skin on his knee. “i just… last night was kind of…”

“insane, i know.” jeongguk drops into the spot next to him, his hoodie riding up his stomach when he flops back against the bed. yoongi slides his hand to greet the warm skin beneath jeongguk’s hoodie, then joins him in lying down. “you really don’t remember me telling you that my parents were getting in today?”

yoongi shakes his head and buries his face in jeongguk’s shoulder, his heart beating out of his chest. he doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up, to ask jeongguk about it. but—it seems that he doesn’t have to, because when jeongguk nudges yoongi’s face out of his shoulder, he leans close and whispers, “i also love you,” before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “you freaked out, didn’t you?”

“uh…” yoongi clears his throat. “no…”

jeongguk laughs and shakes his head. “it’s okay, i essentially had a mini-breakdown with my parents about it, so i think you’re doing better than me.”

“oh god, i’m so sorry. i was waiting to say it at the perfect time. hungover and half-asleep wasn’t even close to being the plan, i swear.”

“please, hyung, it’s fine. i promise.” jeongguk pauses and tilts his head to the side. yoongi rubs the skin on stomach lightly with his thumb, studying his boyfriend's expression. he watches a smile bloom onto his face—is this what namjoon was talking about? "okay, well, they were kind of concerned because i started crying as soon as you hung up. but my mom was like, super understanding about it. she really wants to meet you."

yoongi chuckles quietly and wonder why he had been so worried. he leans close and kisses jeongguk, closing his eyes for a couple of seconds. "i want to meet her too," he says when he pulls back. "what'd your dad do?"

"dead quiet. didn't say a damn thing. he told my mom to tell me to check into their hotel room for them because he didn't want to speak to me." jeongguk rolls his eyes in annoyance. "so immature. what kind of grown man gives his son the silent treatment? i mean, he's here to fucking see me!"

"okay, let's calm down," yoongi says and moves his hand from beneath jeongguk's hoodie, rubbing his shoulders instead. jeongguk huffs and pouts, but sinks into the mattress anyway. how is he so adorable? yoongi smiles and leans down to kiss his forehead. "finals got you stressed, baby?"

jeongguk's nose twitches and he shuts his eyes. "i need to write a paper. in english. all one thousand words." he huffs again, the air hitting the side of yoongi's face. "fucking ridiculous."

yoongi laughs again and kisses his cheek. “want a distraction?”

“like what?”

yoongi hesitates, pressing his lips together, then drops one of his hands to the waistband of jeongguk’s sweats, tugging the strings loose. “i’m sure i could think of something,” he says as nonchalantly as possible, though his heart is in his throat. 

jeongguk surges up, locks yoongi’s lips into a messy kiss while saying, “i’m sure i could too.” 

surprised, yoongi falls onto his back and accepts the kiss, wondering why he was worried about jeongguk's response in the first place.

++

the restaurant is stuffy for a december afternoon. the lunch crowd is cleared out, and jimin is already away on his trip with namjoon, leaving yoongi to clean up the lingering mess with a new hire. yoongi’s been busy trying to get the rest of his life in order—he weighed his options, and figured he would probably do best in the restaurant, even down the line. when jeongguk asked him if he wanted to work here the rest of his life, he had said what came to mind. after sitting on it, yoongi thinks he might want to take over for his parents when the time comes.

so yoongi continues to act out all the roles he’s had in the restaurant. working as cashier, sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes as a busboy—sometimes in the back, doing numbers so his father can have a break. the thing is, yoongi actually does enjoy it, especially now that he’s living away from his parents. it suddenly feels like the air in the restaurant is breathable. 

he told his parents that he’s considering this, and also considering finishing high school. they were both ecstatic about it. yoongi’s been pretty over the moon lately too, maybe because he feels like his life has been completed the last few months. of course, there are more things to look forward to in life—but right now, yoongi feels pretty happy where he is. jeongguk was right about his life being stagnant. he felt like he was stuck in a hamster wheel, just repeating himself day-by-day. 

yoongi instructs their new hire sophia on how to change the trash bags and lets her take her break early when she successfully carries two bags out to the dumpster. he’s in the kitchen to help seokjin and his mother with dishes when he hears the bell on the door ring, so he calls out that he’ll be right there to help them. he double checks that they’ll be okay without him, then emerges out into the restaurant. 

the pair in front of a counter are an older couple, discussing the options in korean, so yoongi only greets them quietly and politely, offering a bow before he goes to restock the drink cooler. he slides cans of soda and bottles of soju into the slots, occasionally glancing at the counter to check on the couple. they seem familiar, and when the woman lifts her sunglasses, all yoongi sees are jeongguk’s eyes. 

he mutters a curse under his breath and finishes up with the drinks as fast as he can, skirting back over to the counter. he can’t believe jeongguk would send his parents here unprompted—they haven’t even met yet formally. yoongi checks his watch and taps on the counter, shaking his head a little. jeongguk won’t be done with his final for another fifteen minutes. maybe he was supposed to be here and his parents arrived early. either way, yoongi feels out of his depth—unsure how to approach.

when jeongguk’s parents are ready to order, yoongi rings it up on the register and wonders if he should introduce himself. he figures that’d be less awkward than doing so when jeongguk walks in, so when they’re finished with paying (yoongi admittedly discounted most of the items), he bows once more before he says, “i don’t think we were meant to meet without jeongguk, but i’d like to introduce myself before he gets here.” he straightens, smiles politely and says, “i’m yoongi, jeongguk’s boyfriend.”

jeongguk’s mother’s eyes light up the same way jeongguk’s do when he’s particularly excited. “oh, yoongi-ah! i didn’t recognize you because of your hair, jeonggukie didn’t mention at all that it was blue.”

“ah,” yoongi laughs a little and touches his hair, a now faded blue since they dyed it a couple weeks ago. “a new addition. it’s really nice to finally meet you both. jeongguk talks so highly of you.”

much to his surprise, jeongguk’s father sticks out his hand and yoongi shakes it with the firmest handshake he can muster among his anxiety. “all i hear is yoongi-this, yoongi-that when we speak to him over the phone. even during our stay so far, he talks about you so often,” he says and yoongi nods, feeling like namjoon said something similar to him in english. does jeongguk really talk about him so much when he’s not around? jeongguk’s father’s eyes drift around the restaurant. “you work here?”

yoongi shrugs and clasps his clammy hands behind his back, then feels the steady hand of his mother on his lower back. he looks down at her and widens his eyes a little when she says, “actually, my yoongi here is going to take partial ownership.”

“are you serious?” he whispers in english, dumbfounded. this is news to him. 

his mother nods, smiles and whispers back, “appa and i talked about it a few days ago.” she turns to jeongguk’s parents and greets them warmly in korean, with another smile. “jeongguk-ah talks fondly of you. it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

yoongi retreats when his mother and jeongguk’s parents descend in conversation, peering into the kitchen to see seokjin working. he continues to do his own job, checking on the list of things he needs to do today. he grabs his laptop from under the counter and settles at one of the tables to search for a way to finish high school. he still needs to look into the options that namjoon forwarded him.

eventually, jeongguk’s parents settle at a table on the other side of the restaurant, and a couple other costumers seat themselves before ordering. a young woman comes in for a pick-up order. yoongi sends jeongguk a text when his parents get their food, watching them from his seat on the other side of the restaurant. 

near the end of jeongguk’s parents' meal, or what seems to be the end, he spots jeongguk and taehyung walking towards them from across the street. yoongi puts his laptop away and goes to meet them outside, shivering and sweeping his hair out of his eyes. jeongguk waves and jogs across the street, crushing yoongi in a hug. 

“you saw me this morning,” yoongi says and wiggles his arms free to hug him back, then kiss his cheek. then hits his arm after they break away. “you didn’t tell me your parents were coming?”

“huh? no, they went out to…” he trails off when yoongi gestures towards the window, crossing his arms. taehyung finally catches up to them, only ruffling yoongi’s hair before continuing inside to meet seokjin. jeongguk rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, then adjusts the beanie fitted snugly over his head. “oh no. i must have added your parent’s restaurant to the list of good korean restaurants i sent them.”

yoongi blinks at him and takes a step back, lifting his eyebrow. “what’s this i hear? you’re eating at other restaurants?”

jeongguk’s expression goes blank for a second before he reaches out and tugs yoongi in again by his belt loops. jeongguk has gotten bold with his actions ever since they decided to take the extra step in their relationship. “no, no, of course not hyung. i could never do that to your parents.”

“or me.”

“it’s their restaurant though. you’re the one always saying that.”

yoongi sniffs and says, “apparently i’m getting partial ownership soon.”

jeongguk lets go of him immediately, just to put his hands on yoongi’s shoulders, more steadying himself than yoongi. he scans over yoongi’s expression, studying him for a couple of seconds before he asks, “oh my god, hyung, you’re serious?”

“yeah, i’m gonna ask them about it later. but my mom broke it to me by telling your parents.”

instead of replying, jeongguk crushes him in another hug, sending him into the wall between the restaurant and carolyn the hairdresser’s salon. he pulls away and kisses yoongi on the lips, soft with his mouth warm amidst the cold air. yoongi grins at him after, jeongguk bouncing on his toes, then kisses him again. “i’m so proud of you,” he says and covers yoongi’s face with his kisses, the scent of his cherry lip balm taking over yoongi’s senses. 

yoongi eventually manages to duck out of his grasp, his face flushed red from the cold and all the attention jeongguk’s giving him. “but really hyung, i am proud of you,” jeongguk says and presses a final kiss against yoongi’s forehead. “hyung’s come so far from the man i met four months ago. in the best way possible. in the most monumental way possible. such an extraordinary improvement.”

“you’re spending way too much time with namjoon, baby, really. so many big words,” he says with a laugh, tugging jeongguk by the hand to go back into the restaurant. he’ll catch a cold otherwise. “i’m proud of you too, you know? i’m not the only one who’s different. you’re more confident in who you are, what you’re studying, in your interests. i think changing from comp-sci to graphic design was good for you.”

jeongguk stops them when they’re in the middle of the restaurant. “i’m so in love with you,” he says, and it’s so clear for everyone inside to hear. he’s holding yoongi’s waist, the weight of his palm so warm and comfortable. it’s safe, yoongi realizes. jeongguk makes him feel safe. “did you know that, yoongi-hyung?”

yoongi screws up his nose and shakes his head. “no idea. thanks for telling me,” he says with a nod and goes to leave, when jeongguk pulls him back into his grasp. jeongguk grins, sensing yoongi’s embarrassment, and takes it one step further by planting a kiss on his cheek for everyone to see. not only his parents, but yoongi’s parents too. yoongi’s never been good about the show of affection, but he can’t say no to jeongguk, it’s too hard. 

“hyung.” 

“jeongguk.”

jeongguk licks his lips and whispers, “yoongi.”

yoongi leans closer and bumps his nose again jeongguk’s. his hands are resting on jeongguk’s forearms. “baby,” he whispers softly, just for him to hear. unlike jeongguk, he much prefers to keep the things he says between them. of course he doesn’t mind the way jeongguk loves on him so loudly, has always been very proud of the fact that he’s with yoongi. but yoongi, he shows his pride in a different way. he leans closer, brushes his lips over jeongguk’s, pulling away before it could become too much. “i love you, too.”

a smile spread across jeongguk’s cheeks, and yoongi’s face hurts a little from how he can’t stop smiling back. he realizes that yeah, namjoon was right—jeongguk does have a certain smile when he’s looking at him. it’s no less big than his others, in fact, it’s just a little wider and his eyes crinkle up a little further, and it sends a overflow over love and affection through yoongi’s body. he love, love, loves jeongguk so much. 

he finally wiggles free from jeongguk and backs into the kitchen, placing his hand over his heart. the feeling that sparks inside his chest when he’s with jeongguk is inexplicable. he loves jeongguk so much that it drives him crazy, makes his skin tingle, sends his heart into overdrive. loves him so much that yoongi couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else in the future. he only wants jeongguk. and, or so it seems, jeongguk only wants him too. 

yoongi curls his hands into his shirt and peers past the doorframe, watching jeongguk sitting with his parents. he seems happy, talking with them excitedly about something. he’s speaking in dialect so yoongi doesn’t quite catch on, but that’s not the point. the point would be that jeongguk is relaxed, his parents look relaxed too. jeongguk looks happy, which is what matters the most to yoongi. 

he catches his father’s arm when he’s walking from the office to the kitchen, then ends up saying, “i don’t think i ever thanked you enough as a child, appa. so thank you.”

his father gives him puzzled look, somewhat bewildered. “you know i’ve understood now that things about you are unchangeable. as long as you’re happy, yoongi,” is all he says with a pat to his head, moving on to the kitchen. 

yoongi smiles to himself and wonders if that sentiment just runs in the family. making loved ones happy is all that matters, he supposes.