Chapter Text
From a young age, Sonny always had big dreams. Dreams that didn’t always align with what others expected of him so he learned to live his life on his terms and prove to the naysayers who said he wouldn’t make it out of Staten Island wrong. But some dreams take longer than others and for Sonny that meant that his life was on a different timeline than maybe he had even expected for himself.
It hadn’t been all that long ago that he had walked into Sunday dinner with a sadness he couldn’t shake in his eyes. And in a way that only a mother could, Serafina coaxed it out of him…regret that maybe, just maybe, “this was it” for him. While it hurt to hear her son doubt the path he’d taken, she reminded him that even if “this was it” , he had so much to be proud of and a family who supported his choices no matter what.
“You’ve never let anyone else’s expectations or opinions of what your life should look like dictate how you’ve lived it so don’t start now, Dominick” she told him with conviction.
As a mother, those were the moments she lived for. Having her children feel comfortable enough to share their insecurities and trust that even if they didn’t have the same life experiences - she was a stay at home mom most of her life while he was a police officer turned detective turned prosecutor - that she was still their Ma and Ma’s gave good advice.
It’s funny that as she hears the words coming out of Sonny’s mouth over the phone on New Year's Day, inviting her and Dominick Sr. to meet Amanda, that that moment in the kitchen less than a year ago is that one that flashes through her mind. It had felt significant at the time, like she could see the light in his eyes come back as he processed her words and remembered that his life and the timeline in which he lived it was his own.
She’s brought back to the present by Sonny’s voice again.
“Ma? You there? I stun you into silence?”
“Don’t sass me. I was just havin’ myself a little moment. Of course, we’d love to meet your girls. Jus’ tell us when and where.”
“Maybe next weekend here at Amanda’s? As long as we don’t get called in on another case. I know that you’d probably have us over for a big family dinner but I don’t want to overwhelm them…not yet.”
“What you really mean is that you don’t want your sisters there…”
“I jus’...everyone all together at once can be a lot and Amanda’s excited to meet you and Pop but she’s already nervous enough. Plus Jesse and Billie…we’ll get to the big family dinner eventually but baby steps for now.”
“Sure hon, that sounds nice. But she’s got nothin’ to be nervous about.”
“That’s what I’ve been tellin’ her for the last seven months and I think she’s finally startin’ to believe me. I’ve learned you can’t force a Rollins to do anythin’ they don’t want to do…and that goes for all 3 of ‘em.”
“It took you seven months to learn that?”
“Actually it took me seven years to learn that with Amanda and about one week with Jess and Billie.”
“Sounds like those girls are keepin’ you on your toes, Sonny. We can’t wait to meet them.”
“I’m lookin’ forward to it too, Ma. It’s…it’s a long time comin’. Jesse is excited to show off her cookin’ skills. Made me promise that she’d get to show you how good she’s getting at makin’ sauce. And Amanda wanted me to remind you not to hold it against her that she can only boil water.”
“We all gotta start somewhere. An’ I can never hold anything against her. Not when you’re this happy.”
“There’s still some things we’re figurin’ out with work but we’re gonna be good and we’re happy on the home front. It’s been a busy couple’a months with everythin’ and then with Murph-...it’s just been a lot but it’s settlin’ down. At least for now.”
It’s hard to ignore the way Sonny catches himself mid ramble and then backtracks. But like a Rollins, you also can push a Carisi to do anything they don’t want to do either.
“Did you two, what’d you call it - disclose, yet?”
“Unofficially to Liv recently. It’ll be paperwork official very soon.”
“That’s good, right?”
“Yeah, it’ll be good to have it out there although we’re sure most of the squad suspects somethin’s been goin’ on anyway. Work wise, we’ll have some hoops to jump through and I’m sure there’s some serious conversations comin’ our way but it’s nothin’ we aren’t expectin’ already.”
“I’m sure it’s nothin’ you two can’t handle.”
“Nah, we’ll be good. Listen Ma, I hate to cut ya short but we’re goin’ to head over to Liv’s with the girls for brunch with her and Noah.”
“Sure. But before you go, you think I could say a quick ‘hi’ to Amanda?”
“Uh - she’s jus’ gettin’ the girls ready. You really have to do this now, Ma?”
“All I want to do is say thank you for the invite, Sonny. I’m not gonna grill her over the phone. You can put me on speaker if that makes ya feel better.”
“Alright, alright. Hold on a minute.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go get your girl.”
She can barely make out the slightly muffled sounds coming from where he must’ve put the phone down but what she does hear makes her smile.
“Babe? Can you come here a minute? Ma wants to say hi real quick.”
“I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’ Carisi. You’re the one who said we can’t be late then let all of us sleep in this morning.”
“Jess was tired but this’ll only take a second. Come on. She even said I can put her on speaker so she’s on her best behavior.”
As the sounds get louder, she hears two sets of footsteps and realizes they must be walking back into the same room together. She can picture them standing side by side hunched over the phone.
“Ok Ma, you’re on speaker. Be good.”
“Oh hush, Sonny. Amanda, I just wanted to say thank you for the invite, sweetheart. We honored that you’re openin’ your home up to us and we’re lookin’ forward to meetin’ you and your beautiful girls.”
“Of course and we’re all looking forward to it too. It’ll be nice to finally meet you after hearing Dominick talk about you non-stop for the last seven years.”
“Hey! I do not…” She hears Sonny start in the background before Amanda cuts him off.
“You do, D. It’s cute.”
“Maybe ‘D’ shoulda done a little less talking about his Ma and Pop over the years if he was tryin’ to impress you.”
“Why did I agree to this? I have a feelin’ a lot of teasin’ is comin’ my way with the two of you together.”
“Don’t pretend you won’t love every second of it, Sonny.”
“Not once Pop joins in. I’ll jus’ make sure Jesse and Billie are on my side.”
“Speaking of, I should finish getting them ready before Dominick here tries to rush us out so we aren’t late.”
“Of course. If there’s anythin’ we can bring just tell Sonny to let us know.”
“We will. It was nice speaking with you, Mrs. Carisi. We’ll see you soon.”
“Mrs. Carisi? Please sweetheart, call me Ma or Fee .”
The last thing she hears before the line goes dead is the unmistakable groan of her son.
“Oh my god . Goodbye, Ma!”