Chapter Text
I saw strips of the sun's rays escape through the blinds. I have been in solitary for many months, or years, I don’t know, I haven’t seen the sun in days. I would like to, but… I’m afraid.
I’m afraid that they’ll hate me all over again.
I’m afraid that they’ll torture me with their words.
They’ve gotten better at tearing me down without physically touching me. Emotionally, they’ve gotten way too good.
I just run away from their words, but it finds me.
I’m stuck in a maze and the walls move, making it impossible for me to escape from here.
I cry myself to sleep at night trying to think of a way to stop these words getting into my brain.
But then and volcano erupts, and it explodes my body into pieces.
A sword touches my back, and I can feel it rip my intestines open.
I hate this feeling, but I need it to stay alive because I cannot feel anything.
I feel as if a body is being recreated in me, but it is not me. It is something else that I didn't want to be.
I fall into an oblivion that doesn't make sense. A black abyss in which light cannot escape.
A black hole surrounds my mind.
I am on the fence of wanting to die.
Locked, a chest is placed in my brain.
I wait for it to walk away.
Enter, a man walks into a room.
A room with buttons. A room with signs. A room with a chair that holds one line. I don't care what's going to happen to me! I've been here seven or eight times, and I don't know if I am still me.
Take me away from this place. Let me die. Let me die in peace.
If “in peace” means to die from an explosion, then let it be!
If “in peace” means to die from a hurricane, then let it be!
If “in peace” means to die from your father… then let me think it be.
I am contemplating life.
What have I become?
From,
Wilbur S.