Chapter Text
The floating table before them was set beautifully. Dishes upon dishes of different fish and fruit they had traded with their guests laid out in artful shapes and seasoned with spoils from trading ships his brothers had sunk.
Sanji's tail swished under him in annoyance as he watched his brothers complain about the food, heedless to how much work they were dismissing. He wondered if they even had any sense of taste or if that too was something taken from them.
Sanji shook his head and tore his eyes away to their guests. Charlotte Katakuri, eldest son to the ruler of the grand Toto Lake and a few of his many, many brightly tailed siblings. If nothing else they were at least eating with enthusiasm, as they had all season. Everyone except Katakuri himself, that is.
His own tail twitched anxiously, covered in pearl dust to hide just how dark it was. Judge had made his brothers hold him down while servants applied it. Like the overcompensation wasn't obvious and it wouldn't have been easier to exclude Sanji from this occasion like he usually did.
At least the food was good and Sanji resolved to make a round through the kitchens later, now that he was forced to be in the main halls anyway.
Under normal circumstances it would be impossible to slip past the guards, but maybe with all these extra people around he would manage a few longing glimpses.
He wouldn't have the chance to cook, no matter how much he wanted to use equipment made for him instead of the work arounds he had developed with Zeff. But dreams were better than nothing in these cold months.
He tried to cling to that and not be burned up with jealousy as he watched the Charlotte twins jump around, stretching their legs on the stage where his mother used to sing, the echo of her voice making the very world sing along with her.
He never liked anyone else on there and it was all the worse now with the brats jumping up and down as if to torture him with what he couldn't have.
So they really can change, Ichiji noted, or rather trilled, in his singing voice, more conveying intent than forming syllables the way Zeff taught Sanji to do. The sound made Sanji's head hurt with bad memories.
For a day. Every year on their birthday, it's a quirk of their lineage apparently, Reiju answered. They use it for trade. She added.
Niji scoffed, Pathetic if you ask me. They use human language too, sometimes, I heard them stutter through it earlier, like the mute does, Niji said under his breath, snickering and Sanji made sure to frown at him like he barely understood. Better to appear ignorant sometimes.
Yonji guwaffed and hit Sanji on the shoulder, making him jolt forward. Maybe he can marry one of 'em. Pudding hasn't been recoiling in disgust. The table broke out in uproarious laughter then and Sanji didn't have to struggle to look upset, only faking the confusion.
The Charlottes had spent a good part of the season here and he had in fact gotten along with Pudding, although he hadn't quite worked up the nerve to let her hear his voice yet. But she had been sweet and courteous and refrained from pitying looks. Sometimes she even smiled at him.
But hope was a dangerous thing and Sanji had been hurt indulging in it more than once. So he hung his head to hide his pain and fury until a splash from the stage pulled his brothers' attention away.
One of the twins had fallen into the water, legs kicking out as they flailed around. It was absolutely graceless and Sanji still wanted nothing more than that.
He wondered if there were other ways to change, to be able to walk on land, maybe even forever. His mother used to tell him stories about spells and artifacts that would allow it. But those were just stories and where would he even find such a thing?
Mood thoroughly ruined, he finished his meal as quickly as possible and swam off under the sneering looks of his brothers and the pitying looks of everyone else when Judge was busy talking to Katakuri.
He was instantly relieved as he swam into cooler waters, the main hall almost too warm for him now, after living in the periphery caves he usually cycled through to be left in peace for years.
He detoured through a small cave to get to the kitchens unobserved, only to catch a courting couple in it.
He turned away from the slow entanglement of their tails as they circled each other in the dim water, his face heating and his heart squeezing longingly.
Again he wondered why Judge made him attend these meeting dinners. It wasn't like there was any chance of marrying his broken son off. Hell, if there was, Sanji would jump at the chance to experience a courting dance, arranged or not. If it would make someone look at him with desire he'd even let them bleach and colour his scales again- despite how much it had hurt everytime they did it in the past when he couldn't get away quickly enough.
The sound of Pudding's sweet voice stopped his musing, her lilt not nearly as grating on his hearing. Even though the topic of discussion made his stomach squirm. ... their production of guards is interesting, she said and when Sanji peered around the corner he could see her with one of her servants at her side. They were standing in front of the magically sealed halls to Judge's wing, the doors flanked by two of said guards, staring vacantly ahead.
Eerie though, isn't it, like they are empty or something? The girl at Pudding's side said.
And Sanji knew it was wrong to eavesdrop like this. He knew too, that the products of Judge's sick imagination had to look interesting to visitors who knew even less about the true horrors of their origins than Sanji did.
If they are effective, they are effective. There's a reason Mama considers marrying into this family, Pudding murmured, her voice suddenly a lot less sweet, and at least there is some choice, although it's a pity about the mute. His face isn't bad.
Sanji's heart all but stopped at the dismissive words when it shattered against that dangerous hope Sanji had tried not to feel.
The servant merely hummed The tail is much more the problem, your highness. A coward's colour. But a pity, yes. I remember his mother, her voice was incredible and her colouring was close to golden.
Poor woman, a loud mouth for a husband and a mute for a son. But the others are alright I guess, proper princes at least.
Sanji had heard variations of those sentiments his whole life. Had heard them all the time from members of Pudding's family through the season.
He should have expected this.
But it stung, stung bad enough that it was easy to ignore the progressively colder water as he weaved through caves into the early spring chill farther and farther away from the core caves.
There was some risk, but there had been quite a few sunny days lately too and the journey was not so far…
So Sanji set out towards the Baratie when he was sure no one had followed him, like anyone even cared.
It took him a little longer than usual, the chill having settled into his body when he finally arrived. It was early enough that there weren't guests yet, but Zeff would almost certainly be in his kitchen already.
He rang the bell and the familiar sound of the pegleg followed soon and settled him at once even though Zeff scowled down at him.
"What are you doing here, fish stick," he asked in his gruff tone. But from the way he scanned him, Sanji knew that there was nothing but worry in the old man.
Once more he mourned not having been born Zeff's son.
He didn't answer, knowing full well that his voice was even more broken from disuse.
Zeff sighed as he crouched at the edge.
"Off to your hidey hole, fish boy. I'll meet you later," he said and his hand felt warm when he ruffled Sanji's hair. He had missed that but admitting as much was out of the question so Sanji stuck his tongue out instead.
He swam the short distance upstream, ducking into the long abandoned ruins of an old watchtower. He pulled himself onto the cold stones coughing when his breathing switched to his lungs completely.
Then he looked around, feeling the shiver set in with the early spring sun not quite enough yet to make drying out here comfortable.
He huffed a relieved laugh when he spotted his chest, half hidden under a tree growing through a hole in the masonry and next to it a stack of wood. A cranky old bastard Zeff may have been. But always reliable.
He pulled himself over in practiced motions, careful of his hands, and then threw open the chest, pulling out the old wool blanket that was nothing but comforting to him and wrapped his shivering body. Once he was a little warmer he got a fire going and then sat back, waiting.
The small space warmed quickly and Sanji wondered not for the first time if there was a way to stay here. To keep the water warm enough so he wouldn't need to go back to his family or train his lungs so he could stay outside the water longer.
There was nothing in that place for him and maybe- maybe…
He heard steps approach, but frowned when they weren't the usual alternate crunch of heavy boot and pegleg, nor the lumbering steps of Patty and Carne. He dreaded the cold, but still slithered out of his blanket, ready to slip back into the safety of the water.
The steps came closer and he bit his lip frustrated, now at the edge of the cool river.
"Sanji?"
His heart halted for a second, his head whipped around staring at the overgrown entrance. And then Ace appeared, looking sheepish, but so pleased. "Hello…"
Almost, almost he answered, before remembering how horrible his voice must sound after months of not speaking and he bit his lip. Instead soaking up the view of the beautiful human, who had his hair tied back, only a few locks hanging into his dark eyes, the little spots on his cheeks and nose as prominent now as they had been before.
Gods, how could Sanji ever have imagined interest from someone this handsome.
He looked away when he realised that he was staring, instead nodding to show his acknowledgement.
Ace murmured something under his breath that Sanji couldn't quite make out, then cleared his throat. "Owner Zeff sends me," he said gently and presented Sanji with a large leather duffle. "You must be cold," he added with a quick glance at Sanji before looking away again, scratching his cheek with red rising in his cheeks.
Right. Humans wore clothes, and Sanji probably made a weird sight to him. He pulled himself back the short distance to his blanket and wrapped himself in it before accepting the duffel.
Inside there were some herbs and spices, along with a set of knifes and a few root vegetables as well as skewers. Sanji felt himself smile at the sight when he unpacked and started to plan his dinner… and maybe Ace's.
Below that there was his hair brush and something else.
Curiously Sanji pulled it out, surprised to find a wool tunic.
He turned to Ace, a little confused and was met with a smile. "I thought you might have been cold… didn't know if that would help but…" he scratched his cheek again, blushing and Sanji felt warmth flutter in his chest.
He looked at the warm fabric, bit his lip and then slipped inside, struggling a little to get his arms and then his head through.
He probably looked silly, but when he spread his arms to show Ace was grinning at him so wide he felt like he had done something right. It felt nice and warm too, and Sanji didn't know if that was because of the tunic or the way Ace looked at him. Not at all like he was ugly and pitiable.
He looked down and smoothed the foreign feeling fabric until it occured to him that this didn't make sense and his eyes snapped up to Ace, brows furrowed.
"Not good?" He asked, giving Sanji a concerned look. Sanji wished he had a worthy voice to use, but instead pointed at the bag and then at where Ace had come from, raising an eybrow at him.
"Aaaahhh," he started and laughed a little. "I, uh, I guess you're looking at the Baratie's new part time waiter," he said.
Sanji blinked at him, inclined his head.
He fumbled a little with a little cough. "Guess I really liked the food, and I can use the extra money…" he looked at Sanji with another heartstopping smile. "And I kind of hoped to see you again."
Sanji felt himself blush furiously and grabbed for the hairbrush to give his fingers something to do. He wanted to respond so bad to these lovely words. But maybe if he croaked his own out in this cursed voice everything would be ruined…
So instead he nodded once more, busied himself with untying his hair which seemed suddenly a lot, when it wasn't free floating in the water and instead pooling down to the floor.
Ace didn't seem too offended by his silence, instead leaning his back against the wall. "It's a really nice place to work though. Owner Zeff is kind of strict, but he's fair… he said he was coming by later to see you. I'm sure he's sorry that you had to wait alone. We have a large party scheduled today and everyone has been running around like mad for three days."
Sanji's heart squeezed with jealousy at these glimpses of a life he would love to live and made a derisive noise when Ace talked of Zeff- although he knew better than anyone how true it was that Zeff was a good man.
A good man who gave his leg for a little fishbrat. He pushed away the memories. They wouldn't do him any good.
He could feel Ace's eyes and when he turned saw that Ace was looking at the fin sticking out, still covered in the hated pearldust that made it feel weirdly itchy and heavy.
Something paranoid in Sanji feared that he might compliment the shine. Stupid of course, it was probably much nicer than Sanji's plain black. And if Ace found something to like that was a reason to be grateful, not picky.
More stupid still, Sanji dared hope again, dared hope that this hapless human didn't prefer the shine and shimmer over what nature had given him.
In the end Ace didn't comment at all, just smiled at him, looking… Sanji did not have the words to describe that expression nor the flutter in his chest.
A flutter that only got stronger when Ace chuckled. "Boy am I glad he send me," he said and Sanji couldn't help himself.
"Me too," he said and the words sounded horrible in his broken, cracked voice.
The smile Ace gave him was still blinding and he leaned in a little, "I'm allowed to stay for a while. Will you talk to me some more?" He asked and Sanji could have sobbed with the feelings bursting in his chest.
He tried to form his tongue around the word. "A-alright," he finally said. And blushed at how horrible his voice still sounded.
Then blushed more at Ace's smile when the beautiful human started talking.