Chapter Text
Natasha was getting ready for bed, and Yelena was in the bathroom finishing up brushing her teeth and using the bathroom. Yelena had already changed her clothes for the night, and she still had a swagger about her from the events of earlier that day.
Natasha had caught Yelena dangling Kate upside down in the gym after she had tied her foot to some rope and hung her by her leg over some mats. Apparently, it had been in revenge for the Squishy incident yesterday, and Natasha had to make Yelena put Kate down on the mats gently.
Kate had been horrified, but she had still made the mistake of calling Yelena “Yelena Banana” in the midst of her nervousness, and Natasha had to hold Yelena back from chasing her down. Honestly, Natasha found the entire thing with Kate and Yelena extremely hilarious despite the fact that she had to act disapproving and somewhat disappointed when Yelena told her about tricking Kate into picking up dog poop.
Yelena, however, had definitely seen through her attempts and was having far too much fun poking fun at Natasha for actually finding it humorous. Natasha had tried to remain serious, but she ended up laughing about it in spite of herself.
But now, Yelena and Natasha were back at their house, and Yelena was hopefully not planning any more bouts of revenge on the poor young archer.
Natasha turned and looked to the bathroom door as Yelena came out and headed over to Natasha with a grin. Natasha rolled her eyes affectionately, looking down at her clothes that she was picking out for the next day.
“How are you still laughing about that?” Natasha asked with a slight chuckle, and Yelena gleefully cackled.
“How are you not still laughing about it?! She touched dog poop!” Yelena announced, and Natasha quirked a brow as she looked back over at the blonde.
“I honestly would have been more interested in seeing the look on your face when she threw the turd at you,” Natasha informed her, and Yelena grew slightly less mirthful as her smirk dropped somewhat.
“Ha. The look on her face when I told her that she was a self-denying doofus was absolutely priceless, poser. You should’ve seen it. She was all like, ‘I’m no chump,’ and I just had to reveal myself at that point,” Yelena cackled like a madwoman, forgetting her unenthusiasm at Natasha’s comment. Natasha sighed deeply, making her way over to the bed as she shook her head slowly.
“You are so mean to her,” Natasha halfheartedly scolded, and Yelena groaned deeply, rolling her eyes so heavily that Natasha was sure that they would have gone three-hundred-sixty degrees around if humans were capable of such things.
“You are way too soft with her. Seriously, are you going to adopt her or something?” Yelena shot back, and Natasha could easily hear the fact that it was a loaded question. Natasha skillfully overlooked it and slid around the question, choosing not to get into that discussion that night.
“I’m soft on you, too. Or did you not remember the fact that you didn’t get in trouble for harassment despite the fact that hanging someone up by the feet is a specifically mentioned violation in Steve’s rulebook?” Natasha pointed out to her.
“Ugh, it’s like he knows what I’m going to do before I even do it. He’s always sucking the fun out of everything,” Yelena complained woefully, and Natasha shook her head with a slight smirk as she thought of the true reason that the rule had been put into Steve’s book so long ago.
“I know it’s hard to imagine, but the Avengers used to be quite the wild bunch,” Natasha teased lightly, and Yelena’s gaze immediately snapped to her own as Natasha sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Used to be? Are you hanging with the same group of fruitcakes that I see every day?” Yelena questioned incredulously, and Natasha shrugged a bit as she pulled her legs up in bed, her back against the headboard.
She noted the fact that Yelena had not taken her eyes off of her at all as she got into the bed and mirrored Natasha’s position. Natasha found the fact that Yelena was staring so intensely to be a little odd, but she did not say anything, trying to figure the situation out.
Yelena suddenly furrowed her brow in offense.
“And wait a minute! Report me for harassment?! You wouldn’t dare,” Yelena told her, a threatening tone in her voice. Natasha rolled her eyes, grinning widely in spite of herself.
“Oh, try me, Squishy,” Natasha teased with a smirk before sliding down into the bed and extending her feet as far down as she could reach.
To her pure shock, she suddenly felt something squishy and sticky against her toes. Natasha furrowed her brow, freezing for a moment as she processed the feeling in her mind, trying to decipher precisely what she was touching.
Yelena was just watching her, her back still against the headboard. Natasha raised up, peeling the covers back as she tried to see what she had stuck her foot into.
To her pure shock and horror, there was what appeared to be poop covering her foot. Natasha almost gagged, but she quickly contained herself as she got out of the bed and very dignifiedly attempted to get to the bathroom to wash her feet.
She got into the bathroom and immediately stuck her feet into the bathtub, sitting on the edge of the tub as she turned on the water and tried to rinse the majority of the stuff from her foot. She let out a deep breath, trying to think of exactly what had happened and how there was poop in the bed when it was too small to be Fanny’s and Liho used the litterbox always without fail.
“Wow… You really stuck your foot in it, huh, poser?” Yelena spoke up from the doorway, a laugh in her voice. Natasha narrowed her eyes as a new possibility entered the room quite literally.
Of course. Yelena was still getting revenge for the “Squishy” thing.
“Was it squishy?” Yelena asked, putting special emphasis on the word. Natasha just remained quiet and composed as she got a washcloth from the cabinet and lathered it in soap, washing her feet clean of any remaining germs.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” Yelena questioned, barely keeping her laughter down at this point as she so unashamedly made a terrible pun.
Once Natasha finally finished washing her feet, she dried them carefully. She then got up from her position on the bathtub, just walking towards the doorway. Yelena was grinning wider than the Cheshire cat.
As soon as Natasha was in range, she grabbed Yelena’s arms firmly and started pushing her toward the doorway of the bedroom leading toward the living room. Yelena immediately started fighting her. Natasha knew that the blonde likely had no idea what she was fighting back against Natasha doing, but Yelena was definitely smart enough to know that there was about to be revenge.
“What are you doing?!” Yelena laughed mischievously, using her strength to push back against Natasha. Natasha pretended to be losing the grapple for just a moment to get Yelena to lessen her strength.
Yelena, of course, did so as she began to believe she was winning, and Natasha surged forward with unexpected strength. Yelena fell back through the doorway, moving down the hallway just a bit as she fought to keep her balance.
Natasha used the momentum to keep her going until they turned the corner in the living room. Immediately, they were near Liho’s litterbox, and Yelena seemed to catch onto what was going on as she quickly started fighting back. Natasha wasted no time in grabbing Yelena around the neck with her arms as she launched herself onto her back, trying to force her down toward the litterbox.
“Smell it! Smell it!” Natasha snarled in a manner reminiscent of their reunion in Budapest. However, this time, the growl was filled with laughter in between her words. Yelena tried her best to keep from letting Natasha push her head down toward the litterbox.
“Never!” Yelena cried loudly, stumbling sideways toward the couch. Natasha let out a yelp as Yelena moved herself over the edge of the back of the couch and fell onto the cushions.
However, before Yelena could try to escape, Natasha launched herself over the back of the couch after Yelena and landed on top of her, wrestling her as they both fought for who would end up on top without falling onto the floor. Natasha smirked widely as Yelena tried her hardest to best her.
Natasha wrapped her legs around the blonde, keeping her from throwing her off. Yelena attempted to struggle for dominance, grabbing blindly at the couch as she tried to turn them over.
However, Natasha grabbed her wrist and pinned it to the couch. Yelena dove for Natasha’s underarm with her other hand and Natasha caught it before it made contact with her as she held her fully down on the couch cushions.
Yelena let out a deep breath of frustration, and Natasha just stared at her from where she was sitting on top of her. Yelena tried bucking her hips to throw her off, but Natasha simply settled her weight more heavily on Yelena’s wrists to keep her down. Yelena groaned in aggravation.
“Good try. But have you learned your lesson, Squishy? Or do you need to keep trying to throw me off?” Natasha asked teasingly, her voice breathless as she looked down at the blonde.
“Yelena Belova,” Yelena replied with a defiant look in her eyes, and Natasha furrowed her brow a little in confusion.
“What?” Natasha asked with a slight laugh, settling more heavily on Yelena as she realized that Yelena was not really making an effort to fight back against her hold.
“Yelena Belova. That’s my name. Or did you forget?” Yelena challenged with a raise of her eyebrow, a smirk on her face as her chest rose and fell with deep breaths from the effort of their playful fight and horsing around. Natasha could not help the affection swelling in her chest as she pretended to be confused and surprised.
“Yelena Belova? Really? This whole time, I thought it was Yelena, my Beloved,” Natasha teased, and Yelena eyes widened just a tiny bit with surprise. Natasha kept a teasing grin on her features as she sat on top of Yelena and kept her held down on her back.
Yelena’s signature frown tugged a bit at the corner of her lips. Natasha’s smile turned gentler at the sight of it, and Yelena reached out her hand, grabbing Natasha’s shirt as she tugged her down so that her head was against Yelena’s gently. Natasha chuckled, her forehead pushing into Yelena’s own. Their eyes closed for a long moment, and they just enjoyed each other’s touch.
“I go through a lot for you, you know. I almost threw up when I was putting that cat turd in the bed for you,” Yelena whispered to her gently after a silence, and Natasha unashamedly snorted as she reopened her eyes to look at Yelena quizzically.
“I’m not sure whether to be offended at the fact that you went through that much to torture me or satisfied that you suffered while trying to make me suffer,” Natasha replied, and Yelena huffed in response, seemingly terribly unimpressed with Natasha’s words.
“Well, obviously, you should be honored,” Yelena informed her, and Natasha raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“Honored?”
“Yeah, honored. Duh,” Yelena replied immediately, and Natasha laughed a little with a wide grin, kissing Yelena’s head between her eyebrows as she raised up from her finally.
“We need to get to bed, Miss Martyr,” Natasha told her, and Yelena smirked immediately.
“Your bed or mine?” Yelena teased, and Natasha raised an eyebrow as she helped Yelena up from the couch.
“Yours unless you’ve rigged your own,” Natasha shot back, and Yelena chuckled wickedly and with far too much mischievousness.
“You never know until you stick your foot in and feel for the squish,” Yelena waggled her eyebrows playfully, and Natasha let out a deep sigh as they headed for Yelena’s room.
“You’re such a pervert.”