Chapter Text
Akira tagging along to one of Ann’s photoshoots had been entirely an accident. She’d wanted to grab crepes with him and maybe bring one to Shiho, but she’d received an email asking her to fill in for a model that hadn’t shown up. Akira hadn’t minded that their afternoon had taken a detour and had seemed genuinely interested in seeing how the modeling industry worked.
Ann had been excited too, gladly sharing the knowledge she’d learned over the last two years. Her first shoot had been a disaster, she’d explained to him, laughing at herself. “I was really lucky it was filling in for a model at my parents’ shoot. They would have asked for someone else if I wasn’t their daughter, for sure!” Back then, she’d been clumsy and unsure of herself. She didn’t know where to put her feet or where to stand, let alone how to pose with limited directions. Despite the embarrassment, she’d felt on that day, she looked back on it now with a smile.
“I’m convinced none of us really ever know what we’re doing,” she continued.
Akira laughed and nodded.
Ann was once again filling in for a model who couldn’t make it to her photoshoot. Akira getting the chance to see the behind-the-scenes of modeling had happened entirely by accident, but Ann had been ready to share this side of her life with him. Very few people from her everyday life bothered asking her about her hobbies and the people she met while modeling hardly ever interacted with her outside of modeling. Despite the divide, Ann loved talking with the other models on photoshoots. To her, modeling for the same shoot came with a sense of comradery she hadn’t often felt outside of the Phantom Thieves. Standing with and giggling alongside other models felt like talking with close friends.
When they made it to the location of the shoot, Ann was surprised to see another model had answered the replacement request. Ann had never met her before, but Mika was beautiful, tall, and all smiles. Ann loved talking with the other models on photoshoots. It felt like there was a solidarity that came with modeling for the same shoot, like an easy way to make friends.
Ann wished it hadn’t been so surprising that Mika didn’t feel the same.
She hadn’t expected another model to fill in, but she was excited for the chance to work with her all the same. Ann had gotten so much better at making friends. She had been certain Mika could have been a friend.
Ann had only been trying to make pleasant conversation. She loved sweets, she didn’t have a specific diet plan, and she wasn’t a huge fan of working out. Perhaps they didn’t have much in common, but Ann was determined to find something they did. Mika only seemed less and less enthused about their conversation the more Ann spoke. Seemingly the final straw was Mika’s concern that Ann wasn’t taking her career seriously. Ann had tried to reassure her that she was alright with where she was because modeling was only a hobby.
She hadn’t even noticed Mika’s discontent until she cried.
“You saw that right?” Ann asked as she and Akira were left behind, attempting to subtly watch Mika speak with the camera crew from afar.
He nodded and his brow furrowed. “I did. That was rude.”
“Right?!” Ann shouted, her frown quickly transforming into a smile. Something about Mika sparked a memory from her favorite show as a child. The way she held herself, strong-willed and cunning, felt incredibly familiar. The thought took the sting out of Mika’s lies and manipulation and left Ann with a sense of admiration for her. “Wasn’t she kind of cool?”
Akira sent a curious look her way. “It was impressive. I believed she was actually upset at first.”
“Didn’t she have a villain vibe?” Ann asked. She’d always admired the gorgeous villains she’d seen on television before school. Everything they were, she wanted to be. She had hoped to emulate their confidence and zeal in the face of adversity to strengthen her heart and Persona.
Akira wrinkled his nose, as Mika’s photoshoot began. “I guess,” he murmured.
“That was really impressive,” Ann remarked thoughtfully, walking toward the stairs of the Underground Mall. She had never managed to improvise a situation as quickly and fluidly as Mika had. She’d almost believed Mika had gotten genuinely upset before she’d lied about their conversation and Ann’s supposed insult. Ann wondered if she’d be able to manage the same thing if or when they needed to distract a person or one of the more timid shadows that guarded Palaces. It might come in handy if they’re worried about her tears instead of the antics of the rest of the team. “She stopped crying the moment she got rid of us and they didn’t even notice.”
“I’m not sure I’d call that strong,” Akira said, following her.
Ann stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. She hadn’t thought of it that way. “Really?”
Akira nodded, “She seemed jealous.”
“Jealous?” Ann asked and shook her head in disbelief, “Of what? She still would have gotten the job if I was there. They were okay with two models.”
Akira shrugged, “People act the same way at school.”
“No, no, it’s different,” Ann stressed. What Mika had done was impressive, Ann decided. Akira had said so himself. Ann had been searching for an opportunity like this. This wasn’t the same. This was the rivalry she had been craving and Ann would come out stronger for it. And, if the actions had stung, Ann buried the feeling as deep as it could go. This wasn’t the same.
“I know the secret to fake crying.” Ann continued, still trying to wrap her mind around what Akira had taken from Mika’s act. She gestured toward the stairs. Since she’d been freed from her latest gig, they still had time to visit Shiho.
“What’s the secret?” Akira asked.
“You don’t actually cry.”
Akira very nearly laughed, but quickly adjusted into a mild coughing fit to cover it. Ann relished the feeling of saying something funny, even if she hadn’t meant it to be. “Come on. Let’s go buy something to bring Shiho.”
-
When Ryuji caught wind of Mika, he wasn’t pleased. Models were still missing their photoshoots. More often than not, Ann was filling in for someone else. Equally as often, Mika tried to take the spotlight.
“What the hell is her problem?” he grumbled, gnawing through his plastic straw.
“I don’t know,” Ann replied honestly. She fiddled with the straw she’d poked into her boba tea. The ice rattled in her cup. “She was right though. I treat modeling as a hobby.”
“So what?” Ryuji pointed the chewed end of his straw in her direction for emphasis. The liquid in the cup sloshed forward. “She sounds like a bitch. Doesn’t that make you mad?”
“I mean…” Ann shrugged, “A little a guess.”
Ann couldn’t say she was mad, per se. Maybe, if she had to put a name to it, she was disappointed. Shiho had laughed the first time and only time she’d mentioned Mika. With the way Ann had made it sound, Shiho had agreed that Mika sounded tough. Ann couldn’t have been angry after that, not when the allure of Mika’s ability to take over a room was nearly part of her own wheelhouse.
She was, however, disappointed that Mika really, truly didn’t like her, that she actively tried to hurt her reputation in that moment. Weeks had passed and Mika didn’t spread rumors, didn’t call her names. The word ‘slut’ had never passed her lips. Instead, she refused to work with Ann on shoots, sent searing looks her way that no one else seemed to catch. She hadn’t fake cried since the first time they’d spoken, but something venomous laced every sentence. Ann hung on every word.
“It won’t do me any good to be mad about it,” Ann said and paused to sip her drink. “I hardly see her anyway. Plus, we’re like rivals. We make each other better.”
Ryuji chewed on boba and frowned. His mouth full, he grumbled, “Sure.” After an additional moment of thought, he added, “Not that I think you have to fight for your spot or anything. I just don’t think it’s fair.”
Ann nodded. She understood what he meant. “Be the bigger person,” she said, recounting what her nanny had told her when she complained about her classmates.
“Sure,” Ryuji relented. Maybe she hadn’t understood. “Being nice might work. Why are you so hung up on her anyway?”
Ann wasn’t sure, but she had an idea. “I don’t think Mika hates me the same way everyone at school does. I think… I think she really thinks I hate her.”
“That sucks for her, I guess.”
Ann scoffed, annoyed with how nonchalant Ryuji could be. “You don’t think I should take her advice?”
“What advice?” Ryuji bemoaned. “She eats food she doesn’t like and worked out a lot.”
“So do you.”
“Yeah, because I like to. It’s fun.”
Ann couldn’t be sure that exercising could ever be considered fun, but she’d give it a try. “Congratulations Ryuji, you have a new training partner.”
Ryuji didn’t seem so sure, but wouldn’t turn away another training buddy.
-
Every new photoshoot, interactions with Mika kept getting worse and worse. Changing how she spoke never pleased her. Discussing her new workout regimens only received eye rolls. Mimicking Mika’s self-assuredness never impressed her. Ann changed over and over again, testing out a personality that just might catch Mika’s attention. Once, Ann changed herself to be just as standoffish and Mika only used that to kick Ann from another shoot.
Ann had thought she was finally doing something right when Mika asked for her to join her for a photo shoot. In the end, she’d only been let down again. Strong, intelligent, and hardworking Mika had to lay it out for her. Ann was clearly too airheaded to see the big picture, Mika had claimed. Ann was nothing compared to her. She worked her ass off, day and night, to craft the body she had. Mika wore the clothes she modeled with grace, poise, and professionalism. Ann let the clothes wear her. She had never looked up to Ann. Ann would always be weaker than her.
It was only a matter of time before Ann began to believe she deserved it.
“She’s just amazing, Shiho,” Ann said when she’d finally worked up the courage to admit her failings to Shiho. “I’ll never be like her.”
Shiho sat, stunned. “She said all that to you?”
“I’ve tried everything to be like her. I don’t know what else to do!”
“Nothing,” Shiho said with an emphatic shake of her head. “Nothing at all. Don’t change anything about yourself.”
“But Shiho, she-”
“She’s just a bully!”
It clicked then. Perhaps it should have clicked sooner, but having it stated, shouted, so plainly had unraveled all her excuses. Every bit of over-analysis she had given Mika’s every move, every comment, laid bare. Mika was just another bully. She was a young woman who just wasn’t getting what she wanted from Ann and lashed out.
It was just like high school. The world was full of the same people that whispered in the halls, the same people who sneered at her from their lockers, spread countless roomers, called her names, and pretended she didn’t exist. She couldn’t escape high school. She’d never escape high school, not when she graduated and certainly not by pursuing modeling.
“Ann.” Shiho leaned in and laid a tentative hand on Ann’s arm. “I just think maybe… you don’t have to put up with her or defend her.”
“I’m not… defending her.” Ann’s voice sounded unsteady and reedy to her own ears. She couldn’t have convinced herself, let alone Shiho. That must have been what everyone had tried to tell her. Over and over, no one had seen Mika as strong or powerful. They had all seen a bully and Ann had wanted to be just like one of her bullies.
Shiho’s frown deepened.
“I can’t believe I wanted to be like her,” Ann scoffed, anger replacing her self-pity. The world was closing in. “I can’t believe…”
“Hey, I get it.” Shiho wrapped her arms around Ann, giving her a tight squeeze. Ann leaned into it, letting the embrace ground her to the present. As she relaxed, Shiho held on. “You want to be tough, and bold, and you want to step out into the world like nothing could ever bother you… but I think a lot bothers Mika.”
“Yeah?” Ann clenched her fists a tad too hard. “Akira thought so too.”
“I think,” Shiho said as she pulled back, “if she was really all you thought she was, I think she would have been your friend.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely! She can be bold and speak her mind, but she’d never try to hurt someone else just because she could.” Then, as if to press the point home, Shiho said, “You would never try to hurt someone just because you could.”
“She really didn’t have to,” Ann agreed, hoping she finally saw what everyone else did. “She’s so good at acting and modeling, she really could have an amazing career.”
“And not put other people down with it.”
“Yeah,” Ann said with a nod. Maybe she was getting it now. “I just… I can’t really think of Mika as a bad person.”
Shiho shrugged. “Maybe she isn’t, maybe she is. Maybe she needs a friend and just can’t let herself have one. She could believe putting you down helps her feel better. It doesn’t really matter. She hurt you. That’s the kind of thing I’ve been trying to work out lately. What people do to you means more about them than us, Ann. It’s not really about you.”
“What should I do?”
“What do you want to do, Ann?”
“I don’t want to be mean. I don’t want to treat her like she treats me.”
“Then don’t. Just be you.”
Ann nodded, resolute, “I’ll be me.”
Shiho smile made Ann melt.
-
Ann might never befriend Mika, but she would at least know that she was bold without putting others down. There might always be tension between them, but Ann hoped to be content no matter the outcome. She would stand up for herself. She deserved to be respected, whether Mika thought so or not. As part of the process, Ann needed to respect herself.
Ann would not change herself to fit another’s view of her. She was good enough already. Good enough was all she needed to be.
It was learning that Mika had been cheating her way to the top that had truly been the tipping point for Ann. If there had been rumors, Ann hadn’t heard them. Eventually, the truth came out, as it always does. Mika had earned her notoriety from sending fake emails to other models to convince them to stay home and Mika took their place.
What remained of the luster on Mika’s career fell away. It was almost funny. Mika wouldn’t get in trouble. Ann understood that. Mika was too conniving to get caught and lose anything she had gained. Still, Ann could only think back to Mika’s vitriol for her.
At least Ann had earned her notoriety without lying. She hadn’t worked from the ground up, but she didn’t think Mika had any right to say she had either.
In the end, Ann didn’t feel mad. Mika had never been talking about her. Mika had only ever been talking about herself.
“I was thinking we could invite Mika,” Ann suggested after Hina, another model who could finally star in a photoshoot without fake emails to confuse her, agreed to spend the remainder of her afternoon hanging out after the day’s final photoshoot.
Hina glanced over toward where Mika was chattering with the camera crew. “Maybe,” she replied, “If she’s not busy.”
Ann turned to watch Mika, hoping to catch her after she finished her conversation. “She doesn’t like me.”
She was pleased to find that the statement felt like just that, a statement. It was something neutral, something she didn’t need to change by force.
“Why would you think that?” The sarcasm was not lost on Ann. She wasn’t the only one in Mika’s way.
Mika turned her head and briefly met her eyes. In a split second, her bubbly expression morphed into a grimace before she turned her attention back to her original conversation.
“Oh,” Hina said with an awkward chuckle, “She can’t even hide it.”
“I think she’s mad that I didn’t take modeling as seriously as she did,” Ann explained quietly, worried Hina might even agree with her. It didn’t need to matter if she did, Ann reminded herself. Ann liked modeling, loved modeling, and she could perfect her craft as she saw fit. “I think I take it a lot more seriously now, but that hasn’t changed Mika’s mind about me.”
“So, she’s jealous?” Hina asked, “That sucks. If she had been confident in her abilities she wouldn’t have sent all those emails.”
They paused in the conversation as Mika turned and strolled over. “I see you two are talking about me,” Mika said with a poorly contained sneer. When Ann looked a little closer, she could almost see the hurt behind Mika’s eyes.
“Actually, we were just talking about grabbing smoothies,” Ann chimed in with the brightest smile she could muster. Invitation sent. All Mika had to do was accept. “My friend told me about a place nearby. He said they sell a few blends that are really healthy for you; with kale and things. You know? I’ve been wanting to try it. Would you like to come with us?”
Mika scoffed, visibly biting back a frown. After a second of struggle, she put her smile back on and shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I already ate lunch today.”
“Oh, but Mika,” Hina said, sounding genuinely disappointed, “A green smoothie wouldn’t hurt your diet. I think it sounds really good. We could-”
“I said I’m fine!” Mika shouted, clenching her fists at her side.
“Everything alright over there, girls?” called one of the photographers.
“Everything’s fine,” Hina called back before either Mika or Ann got a word in. “We were asking Mika if she wanted to join us for smoothies, but she already ate. It’s just a little disappointing. Let’s go, Ann!”
Before Ann could stick around and fall back into old habits, Hina began walking away. She quickly turned to follow her. “Coming!”
With smoothies in hand, the two girls found a bench to sit down at. Hina brushed her bangs away from her eyes and sighed.
“I hate my agency,” Hina said and sipped her smoothie. She gazed longingly at Ann’s Angel Food Cake flavored smoothie. “The diets they put us on are awful. We’re all fighting to keep a certain figure.”
“I was started thinking I might have had it easy,” Ann wondered aloud, fiddling with her straw.
Hina shook her head. “No, you shouldn’t think like that. Everyone is different. It shouldn’t be like this.”
“I know. Doesn’t feel right that you have to do that.”
“If they let us live how we wanted,” Hina continued, “If they didn’t pressure people like Mika and I to look a certain way… Maybe she’d still be standoffish, but I like to think there wouldn’t be so much pressure to be at each other’s throats, all the time. We might have healthier forms of competition. Healthier lives across the board.”
“But, we don’t have to compete like that, right?” Ann asked. She wanted to further her career in the modeling industry, but part of her was scared of what she’d find. “We can all be friends?”
Hina smiled, “I like to think so. Rivals who make each other better because we want to see each other shine.” She reached out and gestured toward Ann’s smoothie. “Can I have a sip?”
Ann handed her smoothie over without complaint. Hina took a sip and winced.
“That’s way too sweet,” she said with a shake of her head. She handed the cup back and laughed. “It made my teeth hurt.”
“Really?” Ann asked and took a sip, testing to see if she’d missed something. “I sort of thought it wasn’t sweet enough.”
Hina laughed again and the two of them sat together for the rest of the afternoon.