Chapter Text
Friday
The rest of the week passes by too fast and yet not fast enough in Shouto’s opinion, and then finally it is time to see Izuku again. He still doesn’t know how exactly he’s feeling, but he’s sure he’ll figure it out at some point.
Stepping out of the station comes with a gust of wind, unforgiving on his hair and clothes. Shouto cuddles close to himself, under his jean jacket and with a hand up to stop his hair falling on his eyes. It is already hard enough to see with the people mingling about and around him on the busy street, but with streams of his hair poking his eyes it’s even worse. He walks onward, somewhat familiar with the direction of the place he’s supposed to meet Izuku.
It's a good five minute walk under the cold until he sees an obnoxious All Might hoodie. Shouto smiles instinctively, softly: he’d recognize that hoodie anywhere. He gave it to Izuku on his 18th birthday, and it practically became Izuku’s uniform back then. It makes him happy to know his friend still wears it.
He approaches him slowly from behind, watching his friend type something on his phone with a frown on his face. There’s also the slightest pout on his lips. When he is finally close enough, Shouto can hear him mumbling low and ominous.
Some things never change.
“Izuku.”
Izuku jumps a bit, but turns with a huge smile in place. “Shouto!”
Some things never, ever change. Shouto hopes with all his heart they never will.
He can’t stop himself from smiling a bit more. “Have you been waiting for long?”
“Not at all!” He turns completely to face Shouto, grinning at full power, as only Izuku can do. Plus Ultra. “If anything, it was about 5 minutes, but I couldn’t say for sure, because I think I got a bit sidetracked, I,” a nervous hand passes at the back of his head, “well, not I, but Kacchan, he was spouting some lame opinions on the group and I had to confront him. You know how it is.”
Shouto finds all the slots in his life falling back in place, as if two years had never passed. “I do.”
“He said hi, by the way.”
“Hi,” Shouto replies without any inflection.
“Hello,” Izuku grins back at him.
A beat passes where both enjoy the silent mirth in their joke. Understanding a language is easier when both parties are fluent in it. It’s made even easier when it is a silent language spoken only by these two parties.
‘Tadaima’, Todoroki thinks. It’s good to lay down his walls and feel comfortably at home.
“Shall we go in?”
“Yes, come on, I wanna sit by the window.”
Shouto follows him.
The shop is a quaint little place with banners hanging on top and traditional lights. Behind a tall stand Shouto can see the kitchen staff mingling about, with high fire and pots and pans. What looks like to be the chef is an old man with a mean-looking beard, his movements precise as he moves about the kitchen and orders the workers around. They all scream a welcome to them as they walk in.
There’s a young lady taking orders at the back of the shop, smile gentle as she bows to a couple sitting together. It isn’t full, and not all tables are couples. He can see a family with cheery-looking dad talking to a tired-looking mom, their cute little kid in pigtails trying and failing disastrously to eat with her chopsticks. Both parents laugh and help her out, making her laugh even more.
“How about here?”
Shouto tunes back to Izuku and sees his vague gesture towards a high table at the corner. It isn’t the most secluded spot, but they will be sitting side by side. He nods and walks over towards it, just behind Izuku.
Nothing, absolutely nothing about the place or the spot they sit on or the subjects they talk about scream “date” to him. It just feels like a regular outing with his best friend, sitting down in a restaurant to eat their favorite food and talk about everything and nothing. There’s no novelty in any of it. Izuku is someone who’s been in his life for many years now, he’s someone Shouto knows well, cares about, and can talk to. There’s no awkward small talk: Izuku straight up jumps to a funny story of how he entered in an online discussion with someone else about All Might, into one about a teacher he adores in one of his favorite classes but assigns them the worst essays, then to one about the last time he hung out with their friends.
He’s gone to the same university as Katsuki and Ochako, so they’re constantly hanging out together. In the same part of the city there’s also Tenya, Tsuyu and Kirishima, so more often than not they’re hanging together. Shouto is the only one left out. Most days he doesn’t resent the distance, or the compromise he made with his father to go study where he is. Other days, he feels every inch of the distance suffocating him.
His foot taps on the side of Izuku’s under the table. He smiles at Shouto and taps back, still talking animatedly about how Katsuki pretends to not like their new group of friends, but at the same time he’s spent a whole week wearing coordinated outfits with them, even when they don’t study at the same university. Knowing Kirishima, Mina, Kaminari and Sero’s styles, Shouto can’t stop himself from laughing softly at the mental image he has of it.
As a friendly hangout, there’s nothing new to it. As a date, however, it is absolutely mind-blowing.
Never before has Shouto gone on a date where he’s been so comfortable. Never before has he accidentally played footsie under the table and felt his heart skip a beat. Never before has he been so attentive to the person beside him on the table, eyes barely straying from Izuku’s face as he talks and talks, hands moving all over the place to bring life to the story, eyes shining with mirth.
It isn’t anything unusual to him, paying attention to Izuku and what he has to say. He cares for his friend and he loves listening to what he says. Always has. There’s nothing new about that.
In the end, what makes it special is not what’s happening itself, but rather how he sees it. There's new lenses coloring everything that they do with the fleeting weight of a promise. Of potential. The wind blows outside and people walk about and the kitchen people bustle on and the little kid laughs out loud and Izuku talks and laughs at himself and there’s no other place Shouto would rather be.
He finds himself turned towards Izuku, arms folded on top of the table but angled towards him, facing him as best as possible in their secluded little corner. It must be because of it that Izuku, when he looks down at his hands, stops talking and turns back to look at Shouto with a sheepish look on his face.
“I’m sorry, here I am babbling as always.”
“You know I like listening to you talk.”
Izuku bites his lips nervously and scrunches his nose. “That doesn’t sound right. I know you also have stuff to say. New stuff. Exciting stuff! How have you been these past months? It’s been too long since we last saw each other.”
“It has,” he shrugs, unsure on what to say. “I don’t know if I have anything new to say, to be honest.”
“I doubt it! Look!” Izuku points down at Shouto’s hands. He looks down as well, expecting to see anything particularly strange on his hands, but nothing stands out. He looks back at Izuku with a frown on his face. “Rings! You’re wearing rings!”
“Yes, I am.” He pauses for a second to flex his hand, showing off the rings on his thumb, pointer and ring finger. “Are you sure you’ve never seen me wear them before? It’s been quite some time since I began wearing it.”
“I’m very sure. I know I’d remember them.”
“Ah.” Shouto frowns and looks down at his hand. He doesn’t like the idea of having some part of him that is unfamiliar to his best friend.
“I like them.”
He looks up again. “You do?”
“Yeah.” His grin is blinding, overwhelming. “They make you look cool.”
Shouto stares into Izuku’s face, helplessly. He’s never been good at replying to compliments, but his mind draws a complete blank at the moment. His chest squeezes in uncertainty, but an idea starts to form at the back of his mind. Before he can second guess himself further, he’s already looking down and taking off the ring from his pointer finger. He barely pays attention to Izuku’s protest at it and silently gestures at Izuku’s hand.
“What? Why did you take it off? I just said it looked cool!”
“I know,” Shouto replies. When Izuku still doesn’t react to his silent asking, he takes Izuku’s hand into his.
“Shouto!”
He slips the ring into Izuku’s pointer finger, although with some difficulty. It doesn’t go all the way down as it does on Shouto’s.
“Huh.”
They both look up from their hands to each other’s faces.
“Why did you do that?”
“Now we’re both cool.”
“Shouto!” Izuku exclaims, arms coming up to protect his face from the world. Shouto knows it must mean he’s ashamed and tilts his head, unsure as to why he’d feel like that.
“What?”
“You can’t do stuff like that.”
“But it suits you,” he frowns again. “It matches your undercut. And your hoodie. Jirou tells me those are all cool stuff. Together they make you look good.”
Izuku whimpers and hides himself even harder.
“It doesn't even fit!” He finally squeaks back to Shouto.
“What doesn’t?”
“The ring, look!” he lowers his right hand to show Shouto. When he doesn’t react in any way, Izuku huffs and takes the ring off with his left hand and puts it back on with some obvious difficulty. “My fingers must be thicker than yours.”
“Nonsense, my hands are bigger than yours.”
“No, they’re not.”
“Yes, they are.”
Shouto silently raises his arm and shows his palm to Izuku, waiting for him to do the same. It is rare for them to be competitive with each other, not like they are with Katsuki, but sometimes it happens.
Izuku seems to understand what he’s trying to do because he huffs and raises his arm as well, warm palm resting against Shouto’s own. It is obvious Shouto’s hand is bigger than Izuku’s, but it is also obvious to see that Izuku’s fingers are thicker. And it isn’t even because of his scars.
“I win.” Shouto brags, hidden amusement in his voice.
“Hey,” Izuku starts, but they’re interrupted by a throat clearing behind them.
They turn in sync to look behind, the polite waitress holding their food in a tray and looking away from them with a cute smile on her face. “Sorry to interrupt, but I brought in your food.”
“Sorry! I’m sorry! And thank you!” Midoriya exclaims with a bow and quickly extracts his hand from Shouto’s, using them to instead pick up their plates and place them in front of each other. Shouto thanks both him and the waitress as she walks away, a hand up to her face to hide her smile.
Shouto looks down silently to his own hand, pondering as to why he can still feel the warmth of Izuku’s hand against it. He flexes it once but still the feeling persists. His mind is focusing on the weirdest things today.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know,” Shouto looks up from his hand to see Izuku looking at him, still a little pink around his freckles. He must have been really sorry for making the waitress wait. “I think now I’m finding it weird to be without one of my rings.”
“Oh. Do you want it back?”
“No.” He replies calmly. “It’s yours now.”
“I can’t keep it!” Izuku says feebly. “It doesn’t even fit.”
“Hm. Why don’t you try it on your ring finger then? It might fit.”
Izuku yeeps loudly and turns to his food. He barely thanks it before shoving a big bite of katsudon in his mouth. Shouto is lost for a moment, but let’s his friend be. He thanks his food and eats his soba slowly, staring at the people passing by outside.
They’re halfway through their meal in peaceful silence, just every once in a while tapping the other’s feets softly under the table, when a teenager passes by with an All Might backpack. He nudges Izuku silently and points with his chin to it. Izuku follows the teen with his eyes and smiles big.
“I used it through all of senior year, remember? It took me ages to convince my mom I needed a new one. She wasn’t very convinced, considering I already had 3 other All Might bags.”
“Do you still have it?”
“Of course. I use it sometimes when I go to sleep at Tenya’s.”
Shouto feels a pang go through his chest. He misses it, the casualness of hanging out with his old friends. He remembers the time when it used to happen so many times he took it for granted, routine. He bets he still knows the whole architecture of the Midoriya’s house, from where he has his All Might DVDs to where they store the cups or extra sheets. He misses All-Might-All-Nights and the safety of falling asleep on the futon he calls his besides Izuku’s bed.
He doesn’t resent the changes, though. He’s learned a lot now. He misses his old life dearly, but he also has to be grateful for what he has currently. If anything, at least it is an opportunity to see how dear his friends are to him and how important it is to keep them. Not to mention the new opportunities that this life is presenting to him. He chances a side eye to Izuku and thinks about possibilities.
Izuku beside Shouto is still looking at him with a small smile on his lips, face relaxed and happy as it usually is.
“I miss you all. Dearly.”
Izuku's face falls into something softer, his smile a little bittersweet around the corners.
“It’s very difficult not to have you around everyday. It’s been over two years, but I’m still not used to it.” Izuku looks down at his food and picks at it slowly. “I’m so glad I have Kacchan and Tenya and Ochako around, but it’s more often than not that I still look up expecting to see you beside us and you’re not there.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Do you…” He trails off, chopsticks frozen as he seems to think each word carefully. “I know you have friends here, you’ve told me about them, but do you… also…?”
“Everyday.”
“Good. I mean!” He looks up suddenly, eyes scared. “I don’t mean that it is good that you feel lonely! I mean that you miss me! Us! I mean that-”
“I know what you mean, Izuku. I’m glad to learn I’m not the only one who misses having what we had back then.”
Izuku visibly deflates, his anxiety turning into something sheepish.
“That sounded very selfish of me.”
“If it is, then call me selfish. I’m also glad to know I’m not the only one missing… us.”
They look at each other for a second, understanding passing through them. It’s a comfort to know you’re wanted to have around by the people you want to have around the most.
In a way, it’s always been like that. What they had, it wasn’t old like what Izuku has with Katsuki, or soft and sturdy like the friendship he has with Tenya and Ochako. He and Izuku, they always just gravitated towards each other. And now they know that they still do.
“Tell me about your friends here. What have you done lately?”
Shouto huffs and turns back to his soba. “Inasa still insists on becoming my best friend.”
Izuku makes a noise of protest by his side, mouth full of food stopping him from saying anything else.
“I know, I keep telling him we’re not even friends but he doesn’t listen. What is it about me and making friends with stubborn people?”
“Fish of a flock, Shouto. We all swim together.”
Shouto looks out of the corner of his eye at Izuku’s cheeky smile, finding it funny with how full Izuku’s cheeks are with food and continues. “I’m happy to see you finally realize just how stubborn you can be.”
He swallows his food and shoots, “I could say the same right back at you.”
“Nonsense, I have no idea what you mean.”
“For sure you don’t.” He laughs. “And Momo-san, how’s she?”
“She sent her regards to you. Jirou also complained that she still hasn’t met you and that it is unfair that only Momo has. They both have you in high regards.”
Izuku ducks his head a bit. His shoulders come up and his hoodie engulfs him in a shy, soft ball of All Mightness. “How can they? We haven’t even met yet! I mean, I spent about half an hour with Momo-san, but that’s not even enough time to get to know anyone. Let alone Jirou, who I haven’t seen at all!”
“They know you through the stories I tell about you, of course.” Shouto replies slowly after finishing up the last bite of his soba.
“You talk about me?”
“Yes.”
“To them?”
He turns and stares at him, confused. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
Izuku raises his hand and half hides behind it, but he still stares at Shouto from the corner of his eyes. “You’re too much.”
Shouto blinks at him, unsure on how to answer. Instead, he just sits and waits for Izuku to finish his food. When he sees Izuku looking at him from the corner of his eye a third time, he decides to do what Izuku obviously wants.
“I know that face. That means you want me to talk. Fine, I’ll do it.” He takes a deep breath and looks outside. To anyone else, his little disclaimer may sound dramatic, but he knows Izuku understands it is just his way of gathering his thoughts. “I don’t know what to say, really. I showed pictures of our group of friends to Shinsou. He’s a good friend of mine. I think he got interested in Kaminari, of all people. Shinsou is a nice person, he’s quiet, and really likes cats. He also is very determined, which is great because for some reason people don’t treat him very kindly.”
“Am I in danger of losing my place to Shinsou?” Izuku teases, foot tapping Shouto’s twice in a row.
Shouto hums and doesn’t look at Izuku, happy to tease him right back with his silence. He earns another soft kick for his trouble and holds back a small smile. Then Izuku’s question registers in his brain and he takes a minute to consider it. He frowns, suddenly freaked by the possibility. Him and Shinsou on a date. Imagine that. At least they would definitely agree to keep everything platonic and move on with the surety of their friendship - with nothing else but friendship.
“What else have I got to say?” He shoots a sideways look to see Izuku paying attention to him, chewing slowly and obviously waiting for Shouto to gather his thoughts. He smiles softly, happy for the little things Izuku does to accommodate him. “What do you want to know?”
“How’s your family?” He asks, cautious but smiling back just as softly.
Shouto takes his moment to consider what to say, using it to admire Izuku’s earnest face and easy smile. He looks silly with puffy cheeks as he chews, freckles adorned across his skin adding to the boyish look. If he didn’t know who his friend really was, he would almost be fooled by his looks. As it is, he knows exactly how fierce, strong and sometimes even wicked he can be.
Their eye contact breaks as Shouto blinks, suddenly realizing he’s lost in thought again. That did give him an idea on what to say, though. Somehow, something in Izuku always brought forth sides of Shouto he didn’t know he had. His truest self, in a way.
“Touya got back together with his boyfriend.” Shouto likes to think he has good facial control, but he can feel one side of his mouth going up just a tiny bit, slowly, uncontrolled, as he thinks over what had happened and what he guesses Izuku’s reaction will be. His expression is enough to warn Izuku of what’s to come because he stops his chopstick halfway up to his mouth, a curious look on his face and mouth opened. Waiting. “The old man didn’t like it. Asked him what was he doing getting back with, and I quote, ‘what’s-his-name’. Touya replied with the most boring voice he could, said something about how his name was Takami Keigo but if the old man really wanted to know, his nickname was Hawks. Because of all the scratches he left on Touya’s back.”
His dramatic set up pays off. As soon as the implication settles on Izuku’s mind, his eyes widen and he hides his face behind his arms again, face red once more.
Shouto huffs a laugh. “You dropped a bit of Katsudon on the table.”
“I don’t care. Shouto! Shouto-kun! How can you say that with a straight face!”
“I don’t think I did,” he deadpans. “You know my face is very queer.”
Izuku lowers his arms, cheeks still red. “You are too much. Too much.” He sounds like he’s pouting underneath his arms.
“I thought you asked me to update you on what’s going on with my life.”
“I did. I didn’t ask you to tell me about your brother’s sex life.”
He’s definitely pouting. Shouto looks away towards the street again, an unnamed but somehow familiar feeling spreads through his chest and stomach at the thought of it. Izuku can also be too much sometimes.
The light posts look a tad shinier for a moment and Shouto loses himself in them, eager to get back his control. For a moment, amid the wind and the gloominess of the outside world, there’s some light outside that seems to reflect how he feels, just for a moment. That’s centering enough for him.
“Fuyumi asked when you were going to drop by again.”
It’s a funny thing, to think how close they are. Shouto thinks Izuku is the only friend his whole family bothered to learn the name of. Fuyumi tries with all of them, but it’s gotten to a point where even his old man and Touya know him. He doesn’t tell Izuku about that. He looks down at Izuku’s hand instead. Remembers. Silently thanks again.
“The old man is trying. Some days we still have to remind him, and sometimes Touya is too much for even us. But he’s trying. I guess we all are. Even Mom, she… Even Mom.”
“That’s good to hear, Shouto.”
They settle in a comfortable silence and Shouto looks outside once more. The lights are back to their normal shine, the world is back to their shift. Things seem to be as they are, as they should be. Inside him too. There’s comfort in it.
He’s content, he realizes with some surprise. It’s more than Izuku feeling like home. He feels like an anchor to Shouto, someone who he can listen to talking about anything but whom he knows would listen to him right back. Izuku knows Shouto, and Shouto knows Izuku. What they don’t know about each other is only what they are still making up as they go, and luckily they are doing it together, side by side even with the distance.
In a way, this date could be the next step he didn’t consider could exist. An option he picked up by lucky chance and now calculated how to best make it fit into his life.
“Where do you want to go next? Do you have to go back or can we stroll around a bit?”
Shouto turns with a look at Izuku and realizes it must be mutual, the wish to stay together just a bit longer. There’s yearning in Izuku’s eyes, and it speaks to Shouto’s own.
“Of course I’ll stay a bit longer. Let me pay, then we can go. Where do you want to go? ” He signs to the employee that he’s ready to pay and gathers his wallet, ears deaf to Izuku’s complaints.
“No, I can’t let you pay!”
“Yes, you can and you will.”
“But I don’t want to impose!”
“It’s not an imposition. You came all this way.”
“But!”
“No.”
Soon enough they’re outside and Izuku’s still enthusiastically thanking him, as if kindness is something he’s not used to. He bows and bows again, a stream of thank yous as they walk. He waits for a minute, indulging Izuku’s strange rituals, just enough to appease his sense of self but not enough to truly shake Shouto’s.
He reaches out with a hand and holds Izuku’s sleeve. “Izuku, that’s enough. I’m happy to pay for you. I just wish you’d allow me to do so more often.”
“I couldn’t impose!”
“It’s not an imposition if I want to do it. Besides,” he tugs at the sleeve again, “let me thank you once in a while. Sometimes I like to remind you that I cherish having you in my life.”
Izuku averts his eyes and bites his lips. “Shouto.”
“And you came all this way.”
He sighs. “I did. I guess.” He looks at Shouto again. “Thank you.”
That feels more real. “You’re welcome.” He replies in the same tone.
The lights around them are brighter once more and they reflect the green in Izuku’s eyes. The night’s cold, but Shouto is not.
“Tell me what Hero Shouto and Hero Deku will be up to. I need spoilers on what’s to come and I’ll abuse my best friend privileges if I have to.”
Izuku’s smile outshines all the lights of the city.
They’re away on an adventure, he learns. The League of Villains is back and this time around they kidnapped Kacchan.
“Does Katsuki have a Hero name now? Or is he still Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight?” he asks while they’re stopped on a crosswalk, waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green and allow them to cross the street. The store they’re going to isn’t very far away, but they don’t seem to be in any hurry to make it any faster than they need to.
“I call him Dynamight now. Whenever he complains, I just ignore him.”
Izuku’s voice is fond, but his smile is cheeky. Shouto hides his own private smile. Izuku came a long way from when they met.
“And what do they want with Dynamight?”
They want to welcome him to the League of Villains. Shigaraki, the leader under the terrible OFA, believes Dynamight is too unpredictable and unstable and would make a great villain. Shouto looks at Izuku for a second as he keeps on explaining the plot while they cozy themselves up in a corner and wait for a big group to pass by. “What did Katsuki do to piss you off?”
Izuku bites his lips. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You write your feelings into your stories, Izuku. We all know it. My Hero Academia began as your way to… cope, but you never quite stopped writing what you feel.”
Izuku looks at him silently, weirdly fragile. He hopes he didn’t step over any of his friend’s lines.
“I’m sorry if that was too much.”
“No, it’s just,” he keeps looking instead of finishing the thought. Shouto sees in the corner of his eye the big group move away, but still they continue hidden in their little alcove, partly hidden from the lights under a big sign. He can barely see Izuku’s freckles. That somehow feels like a cheat.
“Just?”
“I forget, sometimes.”
Shouto tilts his head.
“You’re very attentive, Shouto. You’re quiet, but you pay attention to… things.”
To me.
It’s baffling how little Izuku thinks of himself if he still thinks that’s surprising. How he’s still insecure if he cannot properly voice his thoughts out loud.
“I always do.”
“I know. But sometimes it’s hard to remember.”
Shouto is not sure if he understands it. He wonders if he ever will. He wishes he could find a way to reassure Izuku anyway.
In the end he never learns what Katsuki did. Instead, Izuku tells him all about how Dynamight suffers at the League’s hands and holds his own. The team is still making a plan to go and save him, a secret plan because Hero Deku is still a fugitive from the police.
“And who’s going with you?”
“You. Ingenium. Chargebolt. Pinky and Uravity. Red Riot is the lead man, he’s the most interested in getting Dynamight back.”
They look at each other, a teasing look on Izuku’s eyes.
“Are they still dancing around each other?”
“Yeah.”
“Katsuki is hopeless.”
Laughing never truly came easily to Shouto, not as it comes to Izuku. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t cherish every single smile Izuku throws his way, as he is doing once more before laughing out loud; as Shouto wishes he felt comfortable enough to throw around as well. His mouth doesn’t seem to know how to, unfamiliar to doing it because of his upbringing, but sometimes he feels the need to smile boil up and up until it overflows any way it can.
When he looks at Izuku, he’s sure his eyes outpour every single smile he wants to carelessly give Izuku back. He looks at him and looks, and looks, and hopes it is enough to convey what he’s feeling and thinking, quietly at the back of his mind. Secret, even to himself.
On the surface, all he can think of is that this must be the difference that was missing from all his other dates. The familiarity of a friendship. The ease of knowing one another, of how to talk, of what to talk, of how to behave.
Most of his dates begin and end with the same simple question: “how would we fit together?”
With Izuku, that’s not even a question. They just do.
The rest of the walk is quicker and filled with Izuku’s laughter. Apparently Mina has the most absurd ideas for strategic planning and stealth moves. Izuku goes along with it because he loves nothing more than to make his friends feel included in his world.
The book store they chose is familiar to him. They’ve been there once or twice, especially when Shouto was visiting around this part of the city before enrolling in his University. However, it’s been so long since he browsed through the seemingly never ending rows of books that it feels like another Izuku thing: something else he missed, something else that has a place dear in his life.
He allows himself some vulnerability, his hands passing through the spines of books softly as they walk around the store. He never thought he was so partial to touching, but he can barely contain himself that night. His fingertips are overstimulated by the time they reach the end of the session.
“What are you looking for?” He stands up in front of Izuku, fingers still picking at the corner of a book. His rings reflect a bit of the fluorescent lights of the store.
“I’m not sure,” Izuku gives him a sheepish look. Shouto can see that in his hand he still has the ring he gave him. They match. Suddenly, he understands why Izuku said it was a cool thing. “Guess I want to just look around, maybe.”
They end up at the comic book session. There’s a huge painel with All Might on it and Shouto nudges Izuku to stand in front of the cardboard cutout. When he does, standing with the same face and pose All Might has, Shouto takes his phone out and snaps a picture.
“Did it look good?”
“Yes,” Izuku looks at him with a small smile. “Considering your outfit, you look like you could be his apprentice, Deku-kun.”
Izuku grins at him and scratches his cheek sheepishly. “That’s the best compliment I ever got.”
“I meant every word.”
Izuku turns away, obviously blushing. Shouto will never get tired of making him so flustered.
They browse aimlessly, starting by the All Might session. They already own all of the volumes there, so they chitchat on which ones are their favorites and why. Izuku talks about how he’s currently rereading the Golden Age arc and Shouto complains he doesn’t have much time to do it between his classes. In a way, deep down, Shouto fears they’ll grow apart if he doesn’t have the same interest as Izuku, but his kindness and earnestness is so palpable Shouto is instantly ashamed to even worry about it.
It doesn’t take them too much longer to move ahead. All Might is surely their favorite, but there is also other content they like. Izuku knows so much more than him and he shows it, explaining what he knows or reads or heard about to Shouto. That’s how Shouto finds himself with three mangas tucked under his arm, following Izuku slowly through the merchandising side of the session. There’s a wall with many posters on it and Shouto browses through them absentmindedly, stopping every now and then to appreciate one or another. He finds an All Might one that he’s sure Izuku doesn’t have. He waits until Izuku finishes his story about yet another group project he has to work on, then asks him if he has one of those.
“Oh! This is a new one,” his eyes sparkle in excitement. “It would look great on my wall near the vintage set, but maybe it would clash with my new black and white Plus Ultra movie cover?” Izuku continues, his voice lowering down to a mumble as his thoughts run all over the place. Shouto waits patiently, amused by the usual pose Izuku always falls into when he goes off on one of his rants. It’s another peculiarity from his friend he dearly missed. It doesn’t take long and he finishes with an exclamation and a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away here.”
Shouto taps against the edge of the poster calmly. “And what did you decide?”
“I will probably buy it, but only next month. I don’t have the money right now.”
Shouto nods, then turns and lowers himself until he’s at eye level with the posters’ numbers. A little further down and the smell of the store carpet is almost overwhelming. Thankfully, it doesn’t take long for him to find one of the canned scrolls and grab it for himself.
“Oh! Will you take it for yourself then?”
Shouto hums, avoiding any sort of reply. Instead, he asks if they can go check out his items because his nose has started to itch.
They make their way to the other side of the store, stopping twice so Shouto can see a couple of novels he had been meaning to buy. He adds one to his pile and on they go.
Izuku waits for him as he pays for his things, and it’s only when they’re outside the store that he offers one of the mangas and the poster to Izuku.
“What?”
“I bought them for you.”
“Shouto-kun!”
“It’s already paid for, you can’t say no.”
“But!” Izuku stops for a minute. He looks anguished, eyes moving all over Shouto’s face as if looking for clues on how to convince him otherwise, but he should know better. Izuku himself pointed out earlier how stubborn Shouto can be, and there’s no stopping Shouto when he wants to do right by the people he loves.
Outside, the street is still busy despite the late hour, but it feels colder. In front of him, Izuku’s nose is red. He hopes it’s from the cold. It looks cute.
“It’s unfair.”
“Did you ask me to buy it?”
“No,” he pouts.
“Then it isn’t unfair.”
Izuku sucks in a breath. “You didn’t even let me buy you anything in return, then.”
“You’ve gifted me with your presence. Besides,” Shouto smiles softly. “I like giving you gifts. This way, whenever you look at the poster you’ll remember tonight. Or me. Whichever you want to remember first.”
Izuku laughs and looks away. “I’m pretty sure it’ll remind me of All Might.”
“I can be second to All Might, there’s no trouble.” Shouto nudges the poster against Izuku’s chest. “Does that mean you accept it, then?”
He watches as Izuku grabs the poster slowly. With a deep sigh he hugs it close and shuts his eyes briefly. When he opens them up again, Shouto is waiting with a raised eyebrow. “I did love it very much.”
“I know you did.”
“But I cannot accept the book too!”
“You can,” Shouto argues back. He grabs Izuku’s other hand and puts the book against his hand until he grabs it too. “You will.”
“Shouto-kun!”
“I ask for nothing else in return.”
“But.”
“Midoriya,” Shouto stops him with a hand raised, the tip of his fingers tapping twice against Izuku’s forehead. “I ask for nothing else in return.”
When he drops his hand back by his side, he can still feel how soft Izuku’s hair felt on his fingertips. He’s suddenly Hero Shouto again and his right hand burns. All of him does.
“Not even a thank you?” Izuku tries one last time, voice meek. He hugs both of the items close to his chest and has difficulty in looking at Shouto, eyes falling back down to the street every time they make eye contact. The blush has now spread from his nose to his cheeks too. Shouto yearns to touch it.
“A thank you would be nice.” He teases. His stomach flutters when Midoriya smiles at him, eyes still averted in coyness as he bows quickly.
“Thank you, Shouto.”
“You’re very welcome, Izuku.”
Izuku nods once and puts both items away in his bag. After that, they walk down silently towards the main street they came from.
Shouto knows there’s a train station nearby they can both use to catch their trains home. However, he doesn’t mention it, nor does Izuku. They keep walking down the streets, eyes lost in the blinding lights of the night and the buildings, the noise from the people walking around them. The magic of being anonymous to the world around them, known only to each other, must work on Izuku and soon enough he’s back to his cheery self, no longer self-conscious about having accepted Shouto’s gifts.
“I always wanted to come walk around this part of the city at night. I’ve seen so many pictures, but none of them truly show how alive the city is.”
Shouto looks at him from the corner of his eye. He understands what Izuku means, but he thinks it isn’t quite the city that is bringing forth the feeling.
They continue their conversation, inane talking of what’s to happen this upcoming week. Izuku will go visit Iida and he’s heard one of his professors like to have surprise tests during this period of the semester, so he wants to review a bit on the subject. Shouto talks about gossiping tea time with his friends, his scheduled call with his siblings and the huge project he’s already working on for the end of the semester.
Their feet move on their own and soon enough there’s less movement on the streets and they’re two stations away from where they should have caught the train back home. Tiredness seeps into Shouto’s bones despite how much he’s enjoying himself. Izuku yawns again, the third time since they passed the previous station and Shouto resigns himself into saying goodbye.
They agree to walk down a little bit more together, just until they arrive at the train station and then catch trains in opposite directions.
The last minutes pass by in a blink, with the inevitability of goodbye hanging heavy in the air. Izuku’s voice is more alert, not an ounce of tiredness in his tone. He’s now reenacting what their last group meeting had been like, full of shenanigans and inner jokes. A last burst of energy before they part. It’s when they round a corner and Shouto sees the train building that he knows their date has certainly come to an end. He stops walking and Izuku mirrors him without pause, continuing his story just the same.
In other dates, this is the moment that Shouto would turn and ask his date “can I kiss you?” but when he opened his mouth to ask Izuku, he feels shy for once. It is an odd feeling.
He can see Izuku in front of him, dancing on his feet from the tip of his toes and back while he talks excitedly, hands all over the place and smile ever-present. Shouto doesn’t know exactly what it is that makes him act, but it is in the middle of an exaggerated arch of Izuku’s right hand that he has the courage to step forward and grab said hand into his. That gives Izuku pause, enough for Shouto to step a half step closer, tip of his toes to tip of Izuku’s toes. Izuku falls back onto his heels, his little excited dance morphing into an unmoving waltz of two. Now a bit smaller once more, he looks up into Shouto’s face.
“Shouto? I know, I talk too much with my hands, right? One of these days I almost slapped Kacchan on the face while talking with Ochako, he was so mad that-”
For the first time in all the time they knew each other, Shouto tunes out Izuku’s ranting. He knows his friend always tends to ramble when he is nervous, and it makes sense that he would up his babble in a time like this. It comforts Shouto, in a way, to know the nervousness he feels is mutual -- but not enough to stop himself from reaching out towards Izuku’s freckles. His right hand fits in the shape of Izuku’s jaw, pinky finger nestled on his neck, thumb caressing slowly his freckled cheekbone.
For once, his friend stays still. He shuts his mouth audibly, eyes staring up into Shouto’s with a multitude of unspoken words. It isn’t an easy feat to quiet someone as vast as Izuku, but between the scars he’s holding on his left hand and the freckles on his right, Shouto feels shaken and proud to hold someone so precious. There isn’t a single cell in his body that doesn’t feel alight by the force of it.
He smiles softly. If there ever was a moment to save and savor in his memory, this is it.
It is only when Izuku smiles back at him, softly, that Shouto leans down. There is no rush in him, no further purpose other than enjoying every second of this new memory. He looks down at Izuku’s lips, no thought on his head but the feel of their breaths mingling as they lean closer. His nose brushes Izuku’s nose, almost an accident if he didn’t feel quite so playful.
Around him, life must have continued. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. All he knows is the soft brush of his top lip against Izuku’s, the drumming of his heartbeat against his ears and the warmth of Izuku’s open mouth against his own. His whole world pinpointed to only three feelings: rough scars in one hand, soft cheeks held on the other, and impossibly close lips in front of his own. His world is narrowed and upside down in what he’d never known he could want, or desperately need.
“Shouto-kun…”
Shouto hums, focused on how every movement of Izuku’s lips tickles them against his own. He yearns for Izuku’s next move.
“...what are you doing?”
As if burned, Shouto takes a step back. He didn’t see any hints of rejection before, but that felt too much like one for him to react any differently. He lets go of his face and his hand softly, mindful not to be rough when letting them go. He hides his own hands behind his back, either to chastise himself for his boldness, or to shamefully preserve a little bit of the feeling they held just a second before.
“I’m sorry, Izuku. That must have been very presumptuous of me.”
Izuku’s reply is a rapid succession of blinking. Silence settles for so long that for once in his life, Shouto feels as if he is the one meant to break it.
“Should I… assume... this means you don’t… kiss on the first date?”
A squeak. That counted as progress.
“Izuku?”
“Did you-” every word out of his mouth comes out higher than Shouto remembers ever hearing since back when they were fifteen, “did you just say date?”
It is Shouto’s turn to blink. He knows this feeling. He’s no stranger to it, but it’s the first time he felt it because of Izuku: the sensation of your world tilting that suddenly made you realize that there is something terribly, horribly wrong right in front of your face that you have been ignoring for too long.
“Ah.”
Ah. The air made the word come out, but its weight dropped and dropped, down to his gut and further into his feelings.
‘Ah’ that spells dread, and wrong, and mistake, and humiliation. Not in a dictionary, but in a kaleidoscope of feels.
Shouto looks sideways, incapable of facing Izuku as he realizes what is going on. His friend was too quick-witted to stay in an anxious daze for too long.
His friend .
It feels like too much.
“Sho-”, his friend stops, voice soft. “Shouto-kun.”
He forgot his friend was also compassionate. What already felt like too much, now is an overflow. And now all of his friend’s best traits turned against him all at once.
“Did you want this to be a date?”
Shouto doesn’t know. He feels like if it was a simple misunderstanding, he wouldn’t be where he is right now, gaze cowardly fixed onto a colorful slogan on a closed shop nearby, hands forgotten and hidden because of their betrayal. His body is unstable, unable to comprehend the shift between what had been and what is next.
He feels his mouth move on its own accord.
“I’d want it to be whatever it was, as long as it was with you.”
He didn’t know the words that were about to come out. He doesn’t regret them. Never had he lied to his friend and surely he wouldn’t start now.
Silence settles between them once more and there’s no clear answer on how to fix it. This time, Shouto feels too ashamed to try and break it. It is discomforting, to not know what he feels and yet to feel it all at once. His gaze stays on the yellow of the slogan, the black ink of the words. His muscles are tense, ready to flee at any given moment. And still, he stays.
If there ever was a moment to curse the fact he and Izuku always gravitated towards each other, it is this. And yet, he doesn’t.
It takes another minute of silence until Izuku seems to have had enough. Shouto feels rather than sees when his friend takes a half step forward, his hand reaching out to Shouto’s arm and holding it.
“Todoroki-kun.”
Todoroki holds back a sigh and turns to face him. Midoriya looks as Todoroki feels: confused, cautious, all too aware of the single contact point between them and the weight of what just happened in the small space between them.
“Do you like me?”
“Midoriya.” He doesn’t know how to respond to that. “You’re my best friend.”
He tries his best, but he knows he doesn’t succeed. In no way is his answer enough for either of them. Nevertheless, it is the only one that he has.
It doesn’t take too long for Midoriya to understand that is all Todoroki can offer as an explanation, or perhaps an apology, and he takes it with the good grace that he’s always had. He smiles, free and bright despite all the words in between them.
“So we are! And I sure had a lot of fun, didn’t you? The food was spectacular!”
“The soba was the best I ever had in this part of town,” his lips form reflexively, more as a reaction to Midoriya than a thought on its own.
“Right? I’m,” he sighs, slowly calming down once more. “I’m glad we came here.”
Todoroki stops, overcome with an indescribable feeling. “So am I”. He would never not be glad to see Midoriya, but he cannot say if that’s all he’s feeling.
“I… I missed you.” Midoriya continues, voice soft despite the heaviness between them.
“Me too.”
“This… It doesn’t change anything. Right?” It is unusual to see Midoriya so reticent about things. Shouto guesses that it is also his fault. The weird feeling only grows inside of him.
“Right.”
That one word comes out with the bitter taste of a lie.
As they say their goodbyes and leave each to their own ways, Todoroki wonders if that was the answer that would help them get back on track, or if its bitterness was the taste of a friendship that would never quite be fixed. The little tipping point it needed to smudge them for good: not with an almost kiss, but with a little white lie.
Only time can tell.