Chapter Text
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Have you ever felt empty?
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Have you ever felt that you cry and cry and cry but there's no end?
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Like there is something wrong in you, that you want to expulse so bad!
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But...you can't, no matter how bad you try, no matter how much you cry...
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You only feel a void...
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And endless void
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October 11
It's a beautiful day in Grace Field House, it's 7:00 am and everyone is waking up to go to breakfast and after that tests.
Just like in the past days...
And the days before...
It's a normal day...
In an orphanage...
Yeah an orphanage
Anyways
Norman always has been someone calm and kind.
He enjoys every day of his life with his siblings and mother!
So every day when he wakes up, he always puts a smile on his face, cause there's no reason at all to put on a bad face, his life is good and happy so why would he put on a bad face?
Plus if there would have been a reason, someone always illuminates his day...
Just like the sun illuminates the sky...
Because that's who she is...
And that's why...
- Honesty, I would be lying if I say I didn't expect it, she is doing it again!
Today was one of those days where that orange hair girl used to wake up singing!
She woke up and started singing to help everyone get up with a smile on their faces...
She doesn't do it daily, but it's something she tends to do!
So nobody was surprised.
-Everyone, come on, let's go for breakfast!! Conny is leaving tomorrow so I'm preparing something to say goodbye to her, and I need your help, so hurry up, so we can finish the tests earlier!!
Emma, Lannion, Thoma, Gilda, Don, Nat, and Anna were in the hallway talking when Norman arrived.
They didn't realize his presence, they were so focused on their talk that Norman decided to not interrupt.
But he stayed there watching and listening to Emma
He couldn't avoid it, he can not stop seeing her
-A surprise?? What surprise? - Lannion said loudly
-Shhh, I'll tell you later on in the music room but now–
-Oh, I see, then it's a song!!- Gilda said
-Well yeah, but Gil–
-That's great if Emma wrote it then Conny would love it!!! -Don yelled
-YEAH!!
-GUYS!! SHHH!! Conny could hear you, I told you it was a surprise didn't I?!?!?
-Oh
-Sorry Emma!
-Don't worry, but speak lowly please, I don't want Conny to figure it out...
-I dude it, it's Conny we're talking about she tends to spend most of her time with Mama
-Good Point Don
-But changing the topic, Emma do you just write two new songs?- Gilda asked
-Two?
-Yeah the one you have just sung and the one for Conny, no?
-Oooh, yeah I guess so!
-It's so cool!!!
-You didn't write anything since Norman's birthday
-Oh, don't say that out loud, remembering the song I wrote for Norman's birthday makes me feel nervous for some reason...
Oh yeah!
Norman's birthday
The day Norman almost had a heart attack
Aka the day of the finger promise
Aka the day when Emma dedicated him a song
A song...
To him...
For his birthday!
That thought was enough to make Norman's heart bump like crazy
He knows it was just that.
A song from a friend to another friend
For his birthday
But Emma usually doesn't dedicate songs
Norman was the first and only one who has a song dedicated to him
And that's why he can't avoid blushing whenever he thinks about it.
-Nervous?- Gilda said with a smirk on her face
-FORGET IT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!!!
-Of course not!
-DON'T BE SARCASTIC!!! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS
-Yeah, very good friends
-GUYS!!!
-Low voice, right?
-I'M LEAVING, SEE YOU AFTER THE TESTS
Emma left all blushed and everyone else laughed
Emma is a very clever person, she learns things fastly and she's a perfect grade girl, but when it comes to feelings (romantic feelings), she is a mess
Since Norman's birthday, Emma feels weird whenever she's with him, she doesn't know specifically what it is, but she is sure it's nothing bad.
It just feels different, that's all
She feels happier and more nervous whenever he talks to her, she feels calm and safe when they hug, and sometimes she just gets lost in his eyes for too much time...
She tries to not think about it too much, cause she thinks it's something not that important, she feels good with Norman, happy, and that's all that matters
But for the others it's important.
It was more than clear that Emma's feeling was something deeper than just feeling happier with him
They already knew what was that feeling
That's why they teased her whenever they could
Everyone except Norman
Cause he was also a mess on that topic
He doesn't notice Emma's feelings
Either
Sometimes the guys wanna hit them with a book, cause they're so blind
But we'll, that's how love works...
At least that's how they think it works...
They don't know
After laughing a little bit more they continue their way
And Norman was just there
In the stairs.
He was so busy trying to calm himself
He got lost in the memory of his birthday song.
He's so in love...
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Emma was singing while putting the plates on the table
She was trying to distract herself from the insinuations of their friends
Otherwise, she will blush like a tomato again
It was not like that...
They were just friends...
She didn't think in another way until his friends bothered her for dedicate a song to Norman on his birthday
And now that she knows what they mean, she can't just be embarrassed.
The song was very personal, and it talks about how she was so thankful to him, and how important he was to her
So when she thinks about it she can stop thinking it could have meant another thing, in a romantic way
And she blushed again...
'Focus Emma, focus, it's not like that! Norman probably thinks the same, it's just the best friends song, and that's all'
She said that but she was still blushing
So she kept singing the same song she sang in the morning
Norman who was entering the room after coming back to Earth, saw Emma doing this and smiled.
Norman found it lovely, Emma always is happy and you rarely see her being with another emotion that it's not happy
But when she does this kind of stuff it means she's more happy than usual!
Emma loves writing and singing songs, she's a genius in that aspect. So you always see her doing that.
Although he didn't saw her writing a song in a while
That's why it shocked him to see her singing a new song in the morning
But made him happy, she's full spirit again!
And that's why Norman can't avoid smiling at this!
She really is a sun
His sun
-Uh, Good Morning Norman!!!!
-Good Morning Emma!
-Yeah, yeah good morning for you too!
Ray was beside Norman...
He literally was arriving with him...
But no, he didn't even get a "Good morning Ray"
He did expect that from Emma, but Norman?
Come on!!!
Norman was so focused thinking on her dearest Emma that he didn't realize that Ray was beside him, even if Ray talked to him, or at least try to talk to him...
Several times...
Without any response...
That hurts man!
I mean, okay, he isn't that little sunshine girl who talks a lot and is always happy, but man, he is his best friend!!
He exists!!
But no...
He doesn't exist when we talk about Emma...
He usually doesn't care about this when it's anyone else...
But he is talking about his best friends...
Even if he is known to be cold and sarcastic ... and well, a little emo, even if he doesn't agree at all with that, he has emotions!
Emotions!
So fuck you Norman!
Ray will have his revenge...
-Uh! Sorry, Good morning Ray!
-Too late, now I'll ignore you just like you ignore me
-RAY!
-Emma!
-Dramatic...
-If you don't wanna be ignored like Norman don't continue
-Seriously, Ray?
-Did someone say something?
-Forget it
And he did ignore Norman...
But until the tests were finished...
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-Emma, can you please explain to me, why I am here?
Ray was in the music room with Norman, Gilda, Don, Anna, Nat, Lannion, and Thoma.
He was invited by Emma to go there, or he should say obligated to go there...
All because Emma took his book out of his hands, when he was reading it in the library, and then went running to the music room and closed the door after he entered
-I need your help...
-With?
-A song for Conny
-Huh?
-Emma wrote a song for Conny's shipment, to say goodbye to her- Gilda talked
-Yeah I know that, but why do you need our help? I thought you were the genius here
-Ha ha Ray, very funny, I need your help cause I did write a song, but...not for Conny, and now we have just 1 day to make it because Conny leaves tomorrow
-You can't write the song?- Norman asked
-No, nothing comes to my mind...I tried yesterday but the only thing that turned out was...the other song
-And you can't use that one? We can change the lyrics and ready- Ray said
-Yeah, I bet Conny will like it, even if the lyrics are not exactly for her- Don said
-But...
-You're worried about something you don't need to Emma, Conny loves your songs, and so does everyone, plus it doesn't happen anything if we don't make her a song, especially for her, she will be happy just as long we are with her til the last minute- Anna said
-I know, Conny is like that, I know she wouldn't care but I wanted to make something for her and nothing comes...
-That's why I'm saying that change the lyrics of the other song and ready
-No, we-we can't, I...that song is personal, I don't wanna anyone to hear it yet...
Silence...
-That's...weird..-Lannion whispered to Thoma, but it was heard by everyone
That was definitely weird...
Emma usually isn't shy about anything, she is an open book, she has a lot of confidence in everything she does, and always shares her songs.
So that she is suddenly shy about a song, and that it is personal is strange...
-Okay...-Gilda said after what looked like an eternity- We understand...but honestly if you don't have any ideas for the song, it's gonna be difficult creating a whole song in just a day...
-Yeah, I agree. Usually, we tend to finish the songs in a day because of you, so if you have no ideas, we are lost - Nat said
-....
-It's okay Emma, we can send her the lyrics of the song later by letters, she won't have a problem with it...-Anna said
-Yeah, don't worry, you tried your best- Don said
-....
-What do you think is if better we sing her one of the other songs you created? She'll love it!!!- Gilda said trying to animate her best friend
-Oh I know which one is her favorite one, so we can play that one, no?- Nat said
-Yeah...
Emma sighed
-I'm...I'm gonna go, okay? I remember I had to do something Mama asked me...
-Sure, go Emma
-We can practice later, after dinner?
-Sounds good...thanks, guys...
And Emma left...
Damn...
-Now I feel guilty...-Gilda said putting her hands on her face
-Me too, but what else could we do?!? We can't compose a song in just the rest of the day!!!-Nat said
-I mean...we are not bad at music, but if Emma can't come up with something, I don't think we could have done something useful to help her...-Don said
-She is usually the one to compose the whole song and we just help her to play it, we don't know how to write a song, how we could have helped?
-It's not your fault, she is frustrated and that's why she came to us, she's desperate- Ray said after a while- Although I don't know why...
That's right...
Why?
She never wrote a song for someone who got adopted, so why now?
Why she is so desperate?...
Norman sighed
-I think knowing why but don't worry guys, I'll talk to her, you can continue your activities and we can reunite to practice later, okay?
-If you say so Norman, we'll leave it to you
-Please tell her we really sorry
-Don't worry, go!
And everyone else got out, the only ones in the music room were Norman and Ray.
-Is it because I think it is? -Ray said
-Most probably...
-I thought she stopped feeling like that a long time ago...
-She did, but we're almost twelve Ray, we'll leave soon and we're the oldest, it's normal that she doesn't want to leave all of her life
-But she will have to at some point Norman, she can't just expect that her life always be here and that everyone will be here, life is not like that
-I know and Emma too, that's why she is doing this Ray, it's a naive way to say goodbye to Conny but at the same time to prepare herself for her adoption
'Adoption'
'Yeah, sure'
Ray sighed, he doesn't need to remember that once again, he is tired of the "adoptions" but Conny would be the last one, and then they'll escape...
He feels bad that he can't save Conny, but it's thanks to her that Norman and Emma would live...
They would live for all of them...
It was the only way...
Not everyone can escape...
And the world is dangerous enough...
I can't send them all to death...
If it's them, they will make it...
Right?...
-Ray? Are you okay?
Shit!
He was talking to Norman...
-Yeah I was just thinking
-Sure?
-Ajam, don't worry
-Well then I'll go talk to Emma, wanna come with me?
-Nah, if I go, I'll probably hit her head, plus you are the one who she always listens to, so you better go alone.
-Fine, I'll let you know how it went later
-I prefer not, you and Emma always end up in a pinky bubble in which I don't exist! You damn love birds!
-RAY!!!!
-Now you know who I am, thanks!
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-Norman's plan...
Wait, what?!
Ray was in his room reading the stupid letter from the stupid orange girl with her stupid plan
And now he feels stupid for even reading the letter
The stupidness is contagious
"Okay I know it's pretty confusing what I've just said, or written or whatever, but I can explain"
"Remember I told you that the bridge was the only 'safest' way to cross the cliff?"
"Well, it is, but you already know that it is super risky, and taking into count how much time I took to arrive at the bridge I don't know if you will make it if Mama gets to contact HQ"
"But...I didn't tell you that there is a point where you can be able to cross because is nearest the wall, it's still risky but is unpredictable, and you guys told me that to win we need to be unpredictable"
"So I made estimations and that's how I came up with the plan until somebody came and start asking me questions"
-I see...so Norman
"...already expected a situation like that"
"Gilda came to my room and asked me a lot of questions about what I saw on the wall"
"She was acting weird, so I suspected Norman send her to get more information for his plan"
"After all, I told her everything and followed her in silence to confirm my theory"
"Don and Gilda we're with Norman in the infirmary, and talked for a while"
"I don't know what they talked about, but after that conversation, Don got out of the room and he had a letter with him"
"He hid it in his desk with what seems it's a box, I don't know I didn't check"
"But the letter it was from Norman, and he made the exact plan that I made, of course not as specific as mine but well, the point is..."
"HA! It‘s 2 vs 1 Ray!!! WE WON!!!"
-...
"I wish I had been able to say that in front of your face, you idiot..."
"I'm sorry"
"For everything..."
"Don't give up”
"I beg you”
"They need you, more than you think..."
"We are your family after all..."
"We'll always need you..."
"Don't forget it..."
"Geez, now I'm crying"
Damn
Damn
"Thanks, Ray..., for everything you did for us"
"Please live..."
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Norman's perspective
'Demons'
'Death'
'Farm'
'Food'
'Conny'
'Little Bunny.....'
'What the heck has just happened?!?!!'
'I don't know where I am going. I just know I'm running. I don't...I don't know what else to do! The only thing my mind think is:'
Run
Run
Run
Run
RUN!
'Emma's behind me. I know for sure she is crying. Who wouldn't after what we saw? We w-we were just gonna go deliver Little Bunny to Conny but...'
Conny's body death image comes to my mind. Tears come down my eyes. I wanna cry. I wanna fall. I wanna scream.
'But I can't...'
'I shouldn't...'
'Emma needs my help...'
'There's no time for crying'
'We need to escape...'
'We-'
Shit!
'H-how this happen?'
'Today was just a normal day...'
'This was an orphanage...'
'We were happy...'
'Everything was normal... '
'Right..?'
'The meat from this farm it's of the most premium quality '
'I can't..'
'I can't fall...'
'Now it's not the time...'
'Just hold on...'
'Farm'
'Hold on'
'Cattle'
'Hold ON'
'Demons'
'HOLD ON!!!'
'Death'
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'FUCK!!!!'
'WE ARE FOOD!!!!'
'WE ARE GONNA DIE!!'
'ALL OF US!!!'
'THIS IS A FARM!!!'
'WE-WE WILL BE EATEN...'
'WE ARE CATTLE...'
'WE ARE GONNA DIE!!!!!'
'Everyone.....'
'Sherry...'
'Phil...'
'Thoma...'
'Lannion'
'Jemima...'
'Anna...'
'Nat...'
'Gilda...'
'Don...'
'Ray...'
'Me.....'
And...
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
NO!
Focus Norman!
MN! You idiot!
Don't you ever dare to finish that phrase...
DON'T YOU DARE!!!...
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Damn it!
Damn!
We need to escape!
We need to escape!
We need to escape!
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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"That girl wasn't Conny, right?"
'Emma...'
'Conny is death...'
'That was Conny...'
'And that was Mom...'
'This is...the real world...'
'I'm so sorry Emma...'
"That was Conny..."
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'I want to be like her...'
'Emma...'
'She wants to save everyone...'
'She hasn't realized the truth of this world but...'
'She is crying...cause of her family '
'She's not scared of her death...'
'She is...awesome..'
'I wanna be like you...Emma..'
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November 4th
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"It's NOT your fault"
Ray was holding Norman's shoulders, he was trying to keep his mask up but every word he said was destroying it.
He doesn't want to fall either, but...
Norman needs to know that...
"THIS..., this is not your fault"
Anything of this isn't his fault...
"It's my fault...."
"I'm the one who started all of this...I was the one who send you to see the truth of the orphanage..."
"Because of me, Mama broke your arm....and because of me...Emma asked to be shipped...."
"...."
"Everything I did...cause this..."
"...."
"I'm the one who should have been dead..."
Norman didn't know what to say, Ray rarely opened up like that, no, he never has opened like that.
It's true, Ray has known the truth for more time than Norman and Emma, he probably suffered a lot. Seeing all your siblings being "adopted" all these years...
Norman could never imagine how much it would have hurt. He already felt miserable with it. And it has been just 1 month.
But even if it's true that Ray started all of this...it doesn't mean it's all his fault...
If he and Emma would have not left little Bunny that day, maybe Isabella wouldn't have been so suspicious...
If he would have told the truth to Don and Gilda from the beginning maybe Isabella wouldn't have discovered them...
If he would have been stronger he would have been able to distract Isabella for more time...
If he would have been more clever he would have seen the true intentions of Emma...
If he would have moved at that moment...
Maybe Emma wouldn't be gone...
Maybe Ray wouldn't be suffering more...
Maybe everything would have been better...
Just maybe...
What if...
Norman's mind it's full of ifs...
He can't stop thinking of all the mistakes he made...
This isn't only Ray's fault...
Everyone made mistakes...
Isabella was better than them, even if Norman doesn't like to admit it.
And now they're paying the price of their mistakes...
"But I'm still here..." Ray continued.
"And after everything I'm seeing now, I can't die yet..."
'Eh?'
"Emma still is a pain..."