Chapter Text
Songhwa went back to the kitchen and started cooking the steak. It did not take long before Ikjun joined her with him announcing his presence with his dramatic antics.
"Wooaahh~ It smells so good Songhwa-ya!" Ikjun shouted while his eyes were closed acting as if inhaling every scent around them. She can't stop the giggles that escaped her mouth. He looks stupidly adorable. "The smell is making me hungry. I can feel my mouth watering with excitement. Oh, to be the man as the receiving end of your out of this world cooking skills. I'm so lucky." He exaggeratedly complimented her with his sparkling eyes.
"Tch. Don't worry, this will be the last time." She joked which earned a loud protest from him. Now he looks like that red angry bird though a cuter version given his cute smile.
"Noo~ Don't take away that privilege of mine too soon! I object! I won't accept it!"
Damn it Lee Ikjun, you're annoyingly endearing today. She barely holds her laughter after he whined dramatically while pouting his lips and his thick contiguous eyebrows looks like they were cursing her.
"Tch. Don't worry, I cooked a lot this time so you can eat a lot too." She simply said while she was flipping the steak from the pan.
Ikjun sat on one of the chairs and saw the cream pasta that is beautifully plated and saw two more dishes that he was not familiar with in the table in front of him.
"What do you call these dishes, Songhwa-ya? They look so tasty and they really smells nice." and move his face near the two dishes. They indeed smell nice and it’s making him feel hungrier.
"Oh, those are actually my favorites. That one on your right is called chicken cordon bleu. It's a chicken breast stuffed with ham and cheese, coated with breadcrumbs then deep fried it. Usually, people love to eat it with white cheese sauce but after doing things and experimenting dishes, I tried to partner it with my favorite appetizer—though I don't know what to call it yet since it's my own recipe—but the ingredients were just simple. Boiled carrots, potatoes, and chicken then I put everything in a blender and added some milk and salt and pepper to taste. It was tastier that way for me though I'm not sure if you'll like it. I also bought ketchup if you will not like it so don't worry." She explained while her smile never leaving her face and busily looking after the steak she was cooking.
Ikjun patiently listen to Songhwa's long explanation. He can see her eyes sparkling with joy and the happiness and contentment at her face while she was talking. She was even busy cooking the steak, but it doesn't affect her at all. He can see her overflowing love and passion for cooking. She looks the happiest whenever she talks about food and her cooking and baking knowledge. It's like a different Songhwa in her own little world.
It feels nice to be part of her world and to see her in this element makes his heart yearns for more. it is making him feel greedy and selfish. He wants more. Just thinking about Songhwa being like this with another man makes him feel angry and it's driving him insane.
"I think I'll love it, Songhwa-ya. They really smell delicious. What if I get addicted to it and crave for it once in a while, will you take responsibility for it?"
He slightly whined and then he pouted. Shrugging his selfish thoughts away because he doesn't want to ruin this night and to do something stupid that might make the woman in front of him uncomfortable.
"Hmm.. I'll think about it." She said then placed the steak she was cooking at the table. "Here, let's start eating. This taste best while it's hot." And she finally sat after standing for a long time. She felt her feet ache a little, but she hides it with a smile.
"Kamsahamnida, chef Songhwa-ssi. It's an honor for me to taste your heavenly cooking skills once again." He politely bowed a little before he gave her a teasing smile. She just shook her head with his antics and gave him a supposed to be annoyed look but ended up looking insanely adorable baeby baepsae in his eyes.
The two of them started eating right away. Ikjun ate the steak first and he can't help but close his eyes given with how delicious the steak was. The meat is very tender, and it melted inside his mouth. It was seasoned and cooked perfectly according to his taste.
"This is so good! Waahh this is perfect for me!" He exclaimed with his big eyes while looking at Songhwa who is now also devouring the foods in front of them. She beamed and nodded at him since she agrees with his statement.
"Try the cream pasta, Ikjun-ah. I'm not sure if you like cheese so I did not put much on yours."
She worriedly told him. Hers was seasoned a little different than his as she loves cheese so much. Ikjun nodded and tried the cream pasta.
"Hmm.. this taste so delicious! I actually love creamy foods and I love cheese, Songhwa-ya! This is so good though I think it would be better if you add a little more cheese." When he realized what he said, he looked at her—afraid that he might have offended her—knowing full well how much Songhwa takes pride with her cooking skills. "Nonetheless, it's one of the best cream pastas I've ever tasted." He assured her and looked at her with his sincere smile.
It is indeed one of best, he's not lying with that statement. Songhwa is really a good cook, there's no doubt with that.
"Here." Songhwa then reached for his plate and exchanged it with hers. ikjun looked at her confusedly. "Mine has more cheese than this one. I thought you're not a cheese lover, so I intentionally did not add much to yours. Taste it, if you like it then we really have the same taste then." She urged him and motioned him to eat.
He was hesitant at first, but Songhwa did not mind him anymore as she already devoured his supposed to be share of the cream pasta. He then ate what she gave him, and his eyes widen with how much it tastes so much better than what she first gave him. As expected, creamy foods go well with a lot of cheese.
"This is it, Songhwa-ya. This is it. This is perfect!" He exclaimed, this time he is being completely honest. It's really delicious. She just smiled at him and motioned him to eat more.
"I'm glad you like it Ikjun-ah."
"What like? I love it!" He snorted. He then tried the chicken cordon bleu and dip it with the potatoes and carrots puree. "Damn, this is heavenly! How did you even think about this?" He exclaimed and continued to devour the foods in front of them. Everything tastes so good! They are all delicious!
She is looking at him fondly and her heart swells with so much happiness seeing Ikjun genuinely enjoying the foods.
"I was sick one time and all I have are potatoes and carrots with left over milk, so I just gave it a try and I loved it. After that, I kept on experimenting with it until I made a proper recipe out of it."
She nonchalantly answered him while she was still devouring the foods. Ikjun also started eating faster to match Songhwa's eating habit as he doesn't want to lose to her. He doesn't know when will be the next time he will be able to eat her cooking again so he is eating as much as he can right now.
"Right, I bought some things you requested, they are at your living room. Check them tomorrow, you're still on break, right?"
She asked after that little comfortable silence they shared. Only the sound of the utensils they used can be heard and Ikjun's a little louder sound he unintentionally does while chewing his foods.
"Arasseo, gomawo, Songhwa-ya." He answered back after he swallowed the chicken he was chewing.
"Yah, before you used them make sure to disinfect and sterilize them first, arachi? I already sterilized some of them since I used them tonight. Don't forget, okay?" She sternly reminded him.
"Yes, Ma'am!"
The two of them just ate while Songhwa told him what she did while he was asleep. Ikjun felt even more grateful but at the same time he felt apologetic, so he told her that he was sorry which Songhwa just shrug off saying he did not do anything wrong.
She actually enjoyed doing that—shopping and buying groceries—it felt like a healing activity for her. She told him not to worry and think too much about it, but Ikjun can't just treat that as nothing.
"Stop that, Lee Ikjun." She can hear his thoughts. "Geundae, Ikjun-ah. Did you really finish everything I've sent last night?" She asked trying to divert his attention. Though she's really curious knowing Junwan mentioned how little he eats. "Or did Junwan finished everything mostly by himself?"
The moment she finished asking her question, Ikjun roared in laughter.
"Junwan will really be pissed if he heard you say that." She just pouted and waited for his answer. "How can I not finish everything when all of them taste this good? See how much I am eating right now? it's been a long time since I last ate a proper meal that taste this good. I still have some left over side dishes though, they also taste delicious."
Ikjun is trying so hard to justify the amount of food he ate since last night. Songhwa finds their situation hilarious.
"I'm glad to know both of you enjoyed them. I honestly thought Junwan lied to me. Anyway, does he have any allergies?" She randomly asked which made Ikjun stopped eating for a while.
"As far as I know, none. Junwan eats anything and he loves foods as much as you do, I think? Or maybe more? He's a food goblin for a reason." He tried to act like it was nothing. He noticed it since last night how curious Songhwa is to Junwan and she kept on mentioning his name.
"Ahh then what are his favorite foods?" She asked again. The woman in front of him is acting all normal like her questions were no big deal. Is it just him then? He doesn’t even understand himself why he is acting like this all of a sudden—scratch it—he's been feeling like this since last night whenever she mentions Junwan's name.
Ikjun noticed how much Songhwa kept on talking about Junwan and he also noticed how she is becoming more and more comfortable mentioning his name. They dropped using formalities too and thinking about it do something in his being.
"As I've said, he loves food, so he eats everything. Why are you even asking? Are you, perhaps, interested to him?" He carefully asked which earned a loud shout from her.
"YAH! Are you crazy?! I was just asking because what if he has allergies then I will be held responsible if he eats something from what I gave him." She defensively answered. And so that I know what to avoid cooking and using ingredients next time I decided to give you both decent foods to eat again. She added but only on her mind. It's more than enough already that this man in front of her is being whiny with her foods and her cooking like a child being robbed of his favorite toy.
"That's good then. It's better for this to be cleared as early as now." He said with seriousness which caught Songhwa off guard.
"What do you mean?"
"If you like him, you should stop now. Junwan is already dating my sister."
"Psh! Why would I even like him? Besides, I only met him once. Just once. Who would even like someone after meeting just once?"
She said which made him froze. He's guilty, okay? But the woman in front of him doesn't need to know about that.
Ikjun then warned Songhwa not to like Junwan again because he is already in a relationship with his sister—Lee Iksun—while Songhwa finds this Lee Ikjun cute and their situation funny so she can't help but laugh at him which he mistook as something like she wasn't believing him. She is very much amused by this Lee Ikjun in front of her.
"I'm serious, Chae Songhwa! Junwan and my sister has been going out for a year now. Though they think I don't know yet." He said and acted like he was not caught off guard with her remark a while ago.
She noticed how his voice changed at the last part of what he said but she did not want him to feel being cornered so she acted like it did not bother her.
"Jinja?!?! Daebak! So, they're going out without informing you? Aww.. I didn't know that Junwan has the guts to do such thing. But is it really okay with you though?" She carefully asked. She's watching him intently.
Ikjun did not think much about it since he accidentally found out about the relationship of his sister and one of his best friends. But now that Songhwa asked him, he felt a little off. He only gave her a timid smile and nodded his head. But Songhwa caught it, the slight disappointment and hurt that flashed in his eyes—also the longing.
Ikjun is really vulnerable like this whenever one caught him off guard. He may be good at hiding his true feelings but whenever one touch something that make him wants to let out, it's hard for him to even try hiding. His eyes never lie. It always mirrors his soul.
She's hurting for him. She couldn't imagine what he's going through and what he felt when he first found out.
"ikjun-ah.." She softly mentioned his name. Both of them are not eating anymore. He sighed and looked at her with a small smile on his lips.
"Geunyang.. I'm still waiting for them to tell me. I know they don't have to, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed? It made me feel like they don't trust me enough. It's not like I will oppose to their relationship, you know. If I think about it more, I can't trust my sister to any other man aside from Junwan. He's the best for her." He said and let out a smile then he turned to look at his plate.
"I know Iksun and I drifted apart when I chose to pursue my career as an actor. We were so close when we were young, we were inseparable. We used to tell each other everything until we don't anymore. It scarred her to life, you know. People getting closer to her just because she is my sister. People using her just to get to be on my good side. I was and always feeling sorry to her. Even though I did not want to, people still found out about my personal life, about my family. And no matter how much I tried to protect them, to protect her, I kept on failing miserably." He looked at her once more with his teary eyes, but the small smile was still on his lips.
"That's why when I read your text messages that time, I felt like someone poured me a pail of cold water along with a lot of ice. It reminded me of how much I've been trying hard not to get close to people. I only have three friends that I can call as my closest and genuine friends. I was afraid I will drag you to something I've been trying so hard to avoid. I was so scared that you'll experience what Iksun did had to go through, and it hurt me just to imagine how much you'll be hurt. I don't want to be stuck with that same horrible situation again—especially you—being on that same frightful experience me and my sister had to go through."
Songhwa reach out to his hand and softly squeezed it. She felt her heart aching for him and his sister—especially for him. She did not know that it was deeper than she thought. Remembering that day made her feel even more guilty. He just looked at her and gave her a small nod as if saying he completely understands.
"I also know that Junwan is feeling torn right now, you know? I know he wants to tell me. I can see it, I can feel it. He is trying. But something is holding him back, or rather someone. Maybe because I know Iksun must have told him not to tell me yet. That's why I can't even get mad at them. Because I know and I'm aware, and because I understand. All I can do is patiently wait."
"But it doesn't mean that what you felt and what you are feeling is not valid, Ikjun-ah. You and your sister are both having a hard time because although it's not new for the both of you, it's been a long time since the last time you actually talk—like as in talk with each other—like you usually do when you were younger. You're both in an awkward position and situation that none of the two of you knows how to cross the line you both unintentionally draw between your relationship."
"I'm sure it was not just you who is feeling like that, she does too. Both of you are stuck while patiently waiting for each other but none of you is really trying hard enough to reach out, to cross the line and crumble the walls that both of you unintentionally draw and build between the two of you. Nothing will happen if you just wait. Both of you will be stuck until time will drift you apart more. Aren't you afraid you won't have any more chances to fix your relationship with her? Isn't it about time? I'm sure you missed her dearly."
Ikjun doesn't know why but the moment Songhwa finished talking, his tears also started falling. It also surprised him how easily he opened up to her regarding this concern of him. His friends tried but he always says to them that he is fine.
But with Songhwa, he just can't stop himself from being too honest. There's something with the way she looks at him, the way her voice sounds too genuine with worry laced out from her tone. The way her feather light touches reached straight to his heart and mind.
He felt her tightening her hold with his hand. He rested his head on the table and cried silently. Songhwa just let him while she was softly caressing the back of his hand that she was holding. Her simple gesture is making him cry even more. He doesn't even remember when was exactly the last time he cried like this except from his scenes at his projects. Everything just came crushing down at him all at once.
He was just crying silently for good minutes before he stopped. He wiped his tears using the sleeve of his shirt and gave her a smile. Songhwa was just watching him silently with her teary eyes. The sight of Lee Ikjun she is seeing right now is something she never expected to see—not even as early as this.
She is aware of how much of a weight he is carrying every day, but she did not know that more than what she thought, there's so much more to learn and to know about Lee Ikjun.
It hurts her to see him like this, but it hurts her more that she can't do anything except to hold his hand as a sign of support and encouragement for him.
She promises that she'll be an even more good friend to him. She wants to get to know more about him, not just the Lee Ikjun the media paints him to be, rather, she wants to know more about the Lee Ikjun before he became who he is right now.
She can see he has a lot of deep stories to share. She can see he has a lot of baggage that he is keeping to himself. She can see that he's holding himself back a lot. She can see how deep his scars were. She can see how lonely and alone he must have felt for a long time.
She can now see, she can now finally see through him. This is the most vulnerable Lee Ikjun she witnessed.
"Do you want some ice cream?"
"Genius! I'd love that. I've been craving for that ice cream since I saw you bringing it over." He cheerily answered her. She just smiled at him and told him to wait for her before she stood up and get the ice cream from his fridge.
Ikjun just gave her a nod and he inhaled and exhaled deeply once she was out in front of him. He calmed himself down and tried his best to forget about what happened for now. He is not yet fully ready to dwell much deeper than that. Crying in front of her is already too much. He doesn't want to burden her more.
She went back not long after and she was also holding two small bowls. He smiled at her and gave her the widest grin he could master.
"Here, eat a lot, okay? After this I need to leave. It's past midnight already." She informed him while scooping some ice cream and gave him the first bowl.
"Okay, I'll drive you home." He answered and received the bowl of ice cream. "Thank you."
"No need, just sleep."
"I've been sleeping since a while ago. This is the least I could do for you. Besides, it's late already so I will only feel at ease if I know you get home safely."
She was about to argue but she saw how serious he looks right now. And thinking about what happened a while ago, she knows it will be a good distraction for him.
"Fine!" She gave up. She's too tired to even fight him and knowing Ikjun, he can be very stubborn if he set his mind to something. "Geundae Ikjun-ah.." Ikjun just hummed as answer while he was busy eating his ice cream. "Do you know how to wash the dishes?"
Her question made him stop and she is trying so hard to suppress her laughter with his expression.
"Of course! Yaaahhh!!! What do you take me for?!" He looks really offended and he is very adorable right now. She can see that 'cuter red angry bird' again given his furrowed brows, big eyes and pursed lips.
"I'm just making sure, okay? I already cleaned up most of the mess and as much as I want to take care of these things we used, it's really late already so.." She replied apologetically and his face immediately changes and she can see him feeling guilty.
"Gwaenchana, Songhwa-ya. Like what I said, you already did a lot and I troubled you more than necessary already. Thank you and I am really sorry." She just dismissed him, and they both devoured their ice creams.
"There's more foods at your fridge, you can just reheat them if you want. I also bought groceries you could eat. Most are easy to eat. If you want to ask something, you can just text or call me. Please, just please, make sure to eat decent foods, do you get it, Lee Ikjun? There's a lot of proper food that you can easily cook." She started nagging him. "I'll call you tomorrow, I mean later after my work just to check if you ate a proper meal or not. Are we clear?"
She said with her raised brow and Ikjun finds it amusing as she nags him more than his mom does.
"Make sure to finish everything I bought and not let any single item to rot and to be expired, understood?"
"Yes, Ma'am!" He said and laughed at her.
"Good, then let's go. So that you can go back early and rest more." She said and started cleaning up.
"It's fine, just leave them. I'll clean them later. Let's go."
She just nodded and get her things. They walked outside and they entered his car.
"You can sleep on our way so you can get more rest. I'm sorry for troubling you too much."
"Gwaenchana. I had fun too. It's been a while since I drove and did shopping you know." and she laughed. She can see that he relaxed a little after what she said.
"Thank you so much, Songhwa-ya. It's probably too tiring for you to carry all those things alone. You should have left them at the car and asked me to carry them."
"No worries, as I've said, I enjoyed it too."
They both fell into comfortable silence. Only the music from Ikjun's playlist can be heard. It's fascinating for her that even with music, they both have the same taste.
They arrived near at her apartment and Ikjun insisted to drop her at the entrance, but she declined. She just asked him to drop her off near her apartment which Ikjun can only agree as he saw how tired she is already. They bid their farewell.
"Thank you for this day, Ikjun-ah. I'm really sorry for making you worry so much. I had fun. Have a safe drive back home, arasseo? Text me once you get back safely."
"Thank you also for this day, I know I trouble you a lot and thank you also for cooking me delicious dinner. They were really tasty. Just.. thank you for everything you did for me today."
They don't need more words. They both understood. She just gave him a smile which he gladly returned. She tapped his arm once more before she went out of his car. She just waved at him and motioned him to go but he is not moving at all. She just sighed and gave him a small wave and smile before she started walking without looking back.
When she entered the entrance of her apartment building, she looked back and saw that he was about to go. She just watched his car disappear out of her sight before she went inside. After reaching her apartment, she just washed her face and let her body fall on her bed. She just waited for his text that he arrived safely back to his house before she let herself succumbed to sleep.
What a tiring yet productive day. It is indeed a memorable day. This is definitely one of her most day well-spent day off. She slept with a huge smile on her exhausted face looking forward for the upcoming days.