Chapter Text
“sunny,” kel calls out, only a few steps away from the door revealing the rooftop, “it’s time to come down now. everyone is getting worried again,”
kel walks out onto the rooftop, seeing nothing but sunnys slippers on the rooftop.
“sunny?” kel calls out again, not knowing what to expect.
kel starts to overthink. where could he have gone? maybe he already went down, but lost his way back to his room.
yes, that must be it! sunny never had a good memory or sense of direction. the hospital is big, tall and wide so of course he’d get lost! but then why’d he leave his slippers behind?
kel quickly walks over to the broken railing where sunny was previously standing.
the drop down below is long and far and anyone who fell would die from the impact, or at least be in such horrible condition that they’d die in the hospital.
despite the long drop, the view of the floor below is still visible, since it’s not above the clouds yet.
the area around the hospital wasn’t popular, people rarely walked around it. there were many cars parked around it, but no people walking by at all.
what he saw laying on the floor was shocking, scary, horrifying even.
its a boy.
not an ordinary boy, black hair… hospital gown… bandages wrapped around his head, by what he can see anyway.
it’s sunny.
kels heartbeat grows erratic, and he begins to quiver without his own control. his heart drops, like when you accidentally crack something incredibly valuable to you but so, so much worse.
a hole of guilt grows inside his stomach. this is all just a dream, right?
it’s just big bad nightmare. he’ll wake up soon.
but no matter how many times kel pinches himself, slaps his own face and punches his arm, he doesn’t seem to wake up.
this isn’t reality, right?
what the fuck. what the fuck is wrong with him?
his disgusting trust on the poor, clearly suffering raven haired boy has caused a permanent death.
his own selfishness allowed him to trust that nothing bad would happen to sunny when he left to go back down to his friends.
it’s all kels fault.
didn’t he see the way sunnys eyes filled with tears when kel hugged him so deeply? didn’t he see the way sunny was so afraid of being touched?
if kel had just held sunny by his side, if he just insisted on sunny coming downstairs with him, then it would all be okay.
then sunny wouldn’t be dead right now.
then maybe, just maybe, sunny would have told him about how he felt.
why didn’t sunny tell kel?
why didn’t he just tell kel about his feelings?
maybe then kel could have stuck by sunnys side day and night, he would’ve held him close so sunny felt some sort of closure.
but being stuck inside an empty house littered with boxes, cobwebs and stains, of course it only brings the worst kind of feelings and thoughts out to the poor boy.
being stuck in a house he called his home, being stuck in a house where his own sister died in his back garden.
if kel had just used his brain for once, if kel had just used his eyes to see the signs of sunny suffering then he would be alive right now.
he’d be laying in his bed, silently laughing along with one of kels jokes, one of aubreys insults or a funny story that hero heard a few days prior.
kels eyes begin to water.
he quickly realises that they are in fact, not watering, but filling up with tears.
the quickly fill to the brim and begin to overflow, staining his cheeks soggily.
his knees wobble and he falls back, shuffling over so he can lean onto the railing that sunny was previously sobbing on only minutes before.
“sunny- hic-“ kel sobs. his chest tightens as more tears flow. “i’m so sorry, sunny- i’m sorry-“
kel let his best friend die.
kel should have known that this would happen, but how? kel doesnt even know the reason sunny was crying.
kel doesn’t even know why sunny and basil got in such a huge fight.
argument?
disagreement?
guilt?
guilt for something so shameful that they couldn’t tell anybody else?
who cares.
it’s all kels fault.
why can’t sunny just come back?
if he begs enough, maybe sunny will come back.
“sunny,” kel begins inbetween sobs.
“sunny, please-“ his inhales are breathy and shaky, “please come back. sunny.”
his pleads turn into mumbles as his eyes grow heavy.
maybe sunny didn’t have a particular reason for doing what he did.
maybe he just wanted to feel his sisters warm embrace again.
maybe he didnt think through the consequences.
never could kel ever blame sunny, though. after all, kel left him to do this.
why does kel even try? whenever he does, it ultimately leads to nothing but failure and anger.
when kel attempts to make someone feel better, or when kel attempts to do something that benefits him and/or someone else, he fails. so what’s the point in trying?
if his failure has lead to someone dying then there’s just no point anymore.
kel stands up, not bothering to put a smile on his face.
he has to tell his friends somehow.
his shoes hit the hard tiled stairs, making an echo in the empty stairwell.
kel thinks about what he saw.
kel thinks about why sunny did it.
kel thinks about ways he could have prevented it.
his best friend died. and he can’t just move on, especially when he caused the death himself.
he opens the door to basils hospital room, his friends all moved back here while waiting for sunny to come back.
entering the room, his friends stand up to see sunny, only to be disappointed.
“kel?” aubrey begins, “where’s sunny?”
kels throat grows dry. he doesn’t know how to break the news to them. it’s so hard, so painful.
he wipes his eyes and unhinges his jaw.
“sunny committed.”