Chapter Text
Everything moved as if in a deep fog. Ava felt as if she couldn’t speak, because what would she say? The first girl she’d ever loved had left her for no reason, and Ava’s brain was filling in the gaps, just as it always did – she was too awkward, too straightforward, to blunt, too gangly, too afraid to even hold hands in public – and no one even knew about it, so she had to pretend like her life hadn’t been shattered from a single point.
Ava coped the only way she knew how – she avoided all of her new friends, dodged every text from Nora and Mona, pretended she had exams to avoid seeing her parents, and ate in the library, hiding amongst the shelves, knees pressed up to her chest.
She’d been doing fine, each day a little easier than the last, until Sara cornered her by the bleachers as Ava attempted to leave one evening.
“Miss Lance, I need to go.” She said stiffly, and Sara looked at her in shock.
“I’m not even Sara anymore?”
“I still need to -”
“No, Ava, I need to talk to you -”
“Talk about what, Sara?” Ava said, her tone biting, anger rising in her chest. “I think you’ve already said everything to me.”
“Ava, you don’t understand -”
“Understand what ? That none of it was ever real? That I didn’t live up to the fantasy you had in your head about me?” Ava said, her voice rising. “I don’t even know why I’m surprised. I should have expected nothing less from the girl who cheated with her sister’s boyfriend. What, did you get bored with me and go fuck someone else?” Ava hissed, then immediately regretted it. Sara’s face fell, and she looked at Ava with tears in her eyes.
“Fuck you too, Sharpe.” She muttered, and turned to leave before Ava could say anything further.
///
It was dark by the time Sara got home. She’d missed the bus, and her dad was at work, so Sara skated the whole way, her lungs burning by the time she fumbled with her key in the door.
“Sara!” Laurel said, her voice upbeat, and Sara stood, frozen – she'd forgotten Laurel was back for spring break, today of all days -
She reacted the only way she could, and bolted to her bedroom.
“Sara?” A voice from the doorway said softly, and Sara slid down onto her pillow.
“Go away.” She muttered, petulant, but Laurel came in anyway, sitting at the end of her bed.
“What’s wrong?”
There was no way to explain it, so Sara just shrugged, tears running down her cheeks.
“What’s happened?” Laurel pressed again, and Sara shook her head. She felt the bed moved, and she hoped for a second that Laurel had left, but instead she laid down opposite her, reaching forward to smooth some of Sara’s hair away from her forehead.
“Do you remember when we did this as kids?” Laurel said softly.
Whenever there was a storm, Sara would dive into Laurel’s bed, insisting it was because Laurel might be afraid of the storm, and she needed Sara to protect her. She’d spent every night for a week in Laurel’s bed after their mom left, refusing to leave each other's sides.
“There’s not even a storm out.” Sara said softly.
“Then why are you so upset?” Laurel asked, and Sara smiled for the first time all evening.
“No, that was you. Those storms never scared me.”
“If you say so.” Laurel said, grinning, and they lay in silence for a moment, until Laurel spoke up again. “Is it to do with a boy? Or a girl?”
“A girl.” Sara said, so softly it was only a whisper. “We’d been together two months but – it's over now.”
“What happened?”
“It’s not – it isn’t worth it. It’s over now.”
“Who ended it?” Laurel asked, and Sara dropped her gaze.
“Me.” She said quietly, and Laurel raised her eyebrow.
“Sara, why?”
“She - um – she doesn’t want to come out.”
“And - that’s a dealbreaker for you? That doesn’t sound like you.” Laurel asked.
“It’s not – look, it’s complicated -”
“Then explain it to me.” Laurel said softly. “Sara, I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you the last year. I was so angry -”
“As you should have been!” Sara asserted, and Laurel gave her a look.
“No, let me finished. I was so angry at you, and so embarrassed, and I thought I couldn’t face anyone again, but I’ve realized now – I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose my family. And I want to get back to where we were before everything, where we could talk to each other about anything.”
“But I ruined everything. I ruined it for you and Oliver.” Sara sobbed, fresh tears on her cheeks, and Laurel shook her head.
“Oliver is the one I blame. He’s an asshole, we both know we can do better than him.” Laurel said, and Sara laughed, a contrast to her tears. “Now - will you tell me why you’re so upset?”
The whole story came out in a rush, Sara explaining from the beginning, the very moment she’d seen Ava in the corridor – and Laurel let her, only exclaiming when Sara revealed the girl she’d been dating was the lead on their favorite show.
“Oliver is going to pay for this.” Laurel said assertively, after Sara had finished, and Sara propped herself up on her elbow to shake her head.
“No, Laurel, I’m not taking a chance on this – she's not ready to come out, and being who she is, that could mean public backlash. She could lose her job. I’m not putting her through that. Let her hate me.”
“He’s threatening blackmail, Sara.” Laurel said. “I know I’m only in my first year of pre-law, but that’s obviously a crime. And not one he can easily brush off. Also, your dad is a cop.”
“I can’t -”
“I’m not letting him walk all over you. I’m not letting him hold any power over you.” Laurel said firmly, then her tone softened. “Please - I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t know we had a good chance.”
Sara sat up, nerves swirling in her chest, but she swallowed. “Promise me Ava won’t get hurt?”
“I will do everything to make sure this doesn’t happen.” Laurel said earnestly, and Sara nodded.
“Yeah, yeah, okay. I’m not having him control my life anymore.” She said, breathing deeply.
“I’m going to drive to the station now.” Laurel said, sitting up. “You should call Ava -”
“I think I’ve done too much damage.” Sara said softly. “I’ll just – I'll be happy knowing he can’t hurt her.”
“Sara -”
“Go, okay? I’ll be fine.” Sara said, trying to smile, and Laurel sighed.
“Sara -”
“I’m fine.” Sara said, sounding a little more confident, and Laurel gave up, and left.
///
Ava clicked through Netflix on her laptop, not watching anything in particular. Her parents had reluctantly gone out to dinner, and Ava was glad to be alone for a while. She hadn’t told her parents what was wrong, but they could sense something was off.
She didn’t want to talk about it.
There was nothing to talk about, no anger left after her confrontation with Sara that afternoon, just cold and emptiness.
There was a knock at the door, and Ava looked up. Her parents had a key, so unless it was -
She ran to open the door, and her eyes widened when she saw who it was.
“Laurel?”
“Uh - hey, Ava, can I come in? It’s about Sara.” Laurel said, her hands in her jacket pockets.
“Is she okay?” Ava asked, heart rate picking up.
“She’s fine - well, crying her eyes out, but that’s what I’m here to talk to you about -”
Ava moved aside to let her in, and nodded at Laurel to follow her as she went up to her room.
As she pushed the door open, Ava wished that Laurel had given her a heads up - her room was uncharacteristically messy, clothes strewn on the floor, and she had her hair pulled up in a loose bun. Laurel didn't seem to care, just sat herself down on Ava's desk chair - quite unlike Sara, who would have made a dive for the bed and snuggled herself into the blankets even if it was the first time she'd been there.
Ava's heart clenched, missing Sara again. She settled herself on the end of the bed.
“Sara told me everything.” Laurel said, looking at Ava with a steady gaze, and Ava thought she might be sick.
“Everything? I don’t -”
“I know about you two being together – I’m not going to tell anyone.” Laurel said kindly.
“Thanks.” Ava said, staring at her lap, miserable at the idea of Sara breaking the one promise they’d made.
“She told me that you’d broken up too, and she told me the reason why.”
“Why are you here?” Ava snapped, and Laurel looked at her.
“Because Sara didn’t tell you the real reason she did it.” Laurel said, taking a deep breath. “At Zari’s party - someone must have seen you two together, and they sent the video to Oliver. He said to Sara, he would publish it online if you two didn’t break up. Sara didn’t want to tell you about it because she didn’t want you to choose between coming out and her.”
Ava opened her mouth, then shut it again, her heart rate climbing, close to a panic attack, a thousand horrible scenarios running through her head. Laurel seemed to sense it, leaning forward to squeeze her hand. “My Dad’s on the way to his house right now – he’s committing a crime; he won't get away with this. He’s not going to release anything.”
Ava shut her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. There was only one bright spot in her panic -
“Sara did this -”
“She did it to protect you.” Laurel said quietly.
Ava nodded, trying to get ahold of her breathing. “I’m sorry.” She choked, and Laurel squeezed her hand.
“Hey, don’t be. I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you.”
“Sara wouldn’t come?” Ava asked, and Laurel met her gaze.
“She thinks she’s hurt you too much.” Laurel said softly. “I should – I should get back to her. But I thought you should know.”
“Thank you.” Ava said quietly.
They walked downstairs in tandem, and in the doorway, Laurel turned to her.
“I can’t imagine the situation you’re in, being in this limelight at 17.” She said, apologetically. “But - all the worst-case scenarios in your head, if it was made public – there would also be a young girl who would see herself in you, and realize she can be herself too.”
Ava looked at her, frozen.
“Just something to think about.” Laurel said, but as she turned to go, Ava called out.
“Can you text me? That she’s okay?”
Laurel nodded, then she was gone, disappeared into the night.
///
Ava moved back upstairs, restless, until she found herself laying on her floor, squeezing the fidget toy Nora had gotten her to distract herself, as she made a list, over and over again in her head, of things she knew to be true.
One - Oliver had material that he could release, and out Ava to potentially millions of people, not to mention her own family and friends. Tangentially, 1.a. - Oliver Queen was a dickhead.
Ava snorted. She already knew that one.
Two - Sara had broken up with her to try and prevent this from happening. That meant a whole lot of things were true – Sara did like her. She hadn’t messed anything up. Sara did this – put them both through pain – to protect her. That made Ava’s heart a little lighter. The looming threat of being outed wasn’t so awful when she knew – somewhere out the in the grey evening, Sara liked her.
Somewhere out there, Sara was crying her eyes out because she though Ava didn’t like her back.
Ava jumped as her phone buzzed, and a text from her new contact came through.
Laurel: Sara isn’t home – is she with you?
Ava texted back a no, but that she suspected where Sara might have gotten to.
It wasn’t a long drive, through the misty grey rain, up to the play park they’d first filmed the Legends of Tomorrow. She got out of the car.
Ava couldn’t see her, and she wondered for a second if Sara had gone to one of their friend’s houses, but the rain let up slightly just as she got to the playground, and Ava’s breath caught in her through when she saw Sara, kicking gently on the swing.
As she pushed on the gate, Sara looked up.
“Ava?”
Ava couldn’t speak. Sara’s eyes were red, her cheeks pink, dressed in a hoodie that Ava knew was hers, and she was looking at her almost fearfully. Ava wasn’t sure how she imagined Sara would be after the break up, but it hadn’t been this.
“Laurel told me everything.” Ava said, finally finding her voice when she was only a foot away from the swing set. “Why didn’t you?”
“I wasn’t going to - I know that scares you, and I didn’t want to do that.” Sara said, hair whipping slightly in the wind.
Ava swallowed. “It does scare me, so much, but losing you – that scares me more.”
“I’m sorry.” Sara said, tears on her cheeks. “God, Ava, I’m so sorry -”
“No, it’s not you – you didn’t do anything wrong.” Ava said, her heart clenching at the sight of Sara, and she stepped forward, reaching to hold Sara’s hands. “It was fucking Oliver -”
Sara laughed, pulling her hands back from Ava to wipe her cheeks, before she stood up and wrapped Ava in a hug. “I missed you. So much.”
They stayed in the embrace, warm in the cold weather, until Ava moved back, breaking the hug, her hand moving up to cradle Sara’s cheek. “And I didn’t mean it, what I said at school, I didn’t for a second think you’d do that to me - I was just angry and hurt – I'm so, so sorry -”
“I know.” Sara said softly, leaning into the touch. “Let’s just – we can forget about it, okay?”
“I’m going to spend the whole summer making it up to you.” Ava said earnestly, and Sara laughed.
“So - you’re taking me back?” She said, and Ava noticed she couldn’t quite disguise the nervousness in her voice, and she pressed a kiss to Sara’s forehead.
“Yes. Always.”
Sara responded by kissing her, and Ava could finally breathe again.
///
The next weeks went by in a blur – Laurel and Quentin had threatened to report Oliver to the authorities for blackmail, and he was now avoiding Ava and Sara at all costs, diving down other corridors when they happened to be in the same place, which Ava found very satisfying. Sara’s friends were still mostly none-the-wiser what had happened between them, but they seemed relieved they were at least friends again, and Ava was able to take her seat back at their cafeteria table.
The Star City film festival rolled around in early May, where they’d all been invited to the red carpet beforehand, and Ava had decided to go with her Christmas dress to avoid going shopping again. They'd all agreed to meet at Ava's house beforehand.
“Ava! Your friends are here!” Randy said excitedly, and Ava’s eyes widened. Her hair was half curled, she hadn't even picked her shoes -
“I'm not ready -”
“You should come down!” Randy said, closer now, and Ava groaned, pulling a cardigan around her dress and opening her door. She looked at her dad, who was grinning from ear to ear, but didn’t say anything, so she descended the stairs and moved to the open door.
Sara was in the doorway, smirking, and Ava almost lost her breath. She was in a deep red suit with a white shirt, her hair wavy over both shoulders.
“You look beautiful.” Ava said softly, and Sara dropped the smirk, smiling properly.
“Thanks. Z really knows how to pick a good suit.”
Behind her, jumping from the minivan, the rest of the Legends were arriving at the door - Nate in a dark suit with a bowtie, Zari in an impeccably tailored purple suit with matching heels, Behrad in white with his hair in a bun. Even her Time Raider’s friends had come, waving from Ray’s car, Mona getting out the fastest to run up to the steps, dressed in a pale pink suit with a matching headband.
Ava opened her mouth to question what was going on, but Nate had appeared at the doorstep and pressed a large dry-cleaning bag into her hands.
“It’s the tux.” Sara said softly. “If you want it.”
Ava couldn’t speak, a whole world of emotions swirling in her chest, and Sara seemed to almost sense it, squeezing her hand and leading her towards the bedroom, as the rest of her friends moved inside, Pam greeting them warmly.
“I’ve got snickerdoodles and lemonade if anyone wants some!” Randy said excitedly, and Ava heard the enthusiastic responses fade as she moved down the corridor.
Once the door was shut, and they were alone, Ava could finally breathe again.
“First of all, you know I think you look gorgeous in that dress.” Sara said, grinning as Ava felt herself blush. “So, if you didn't want to change -”
“I do.” Ava said, then, her bravery faltering, “but - if you could stay with me -”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Sara said, with a soft smile that made Ava’s heart skip a beat.
Sara stepped outside to let Ava change, and Ava was glad to be alone, as the experience of buttoning the shirt and fixing the bow tie was making her heart do small flips. Once she’d checked herself over in the mirror a dozen times, she opened the door to pull Sara back in.
Sara’s eyes widened, taking in the outfit.
“Wow, Ava -”
“It’s good, right?” Ava said, her voice coming out in a rush. “It feels good.”
“Fuck yeah.” Sara said, beaming at her, and Ava smiled back.
“I don’t want to hide anymore.” Sara cocked her head in confusion, and Ava nodded. “I want to be myself. I want to hold your hand on that red carpet and tell people we're together -” Ava said, then stumbled, “- if you're okay with that -”
Sara cut her off with a kiss, then moved back with her hand still on Ava's cheek. “Yeah, Aves. I'm okay with that.”
“It’ll change everything.” Ava warned. “Not just for me, for you too – it’ll be news. Are you okay with that?”
“Yeah. I want to do this together.” Sara said, and held out her hand. “Are you ready?”
Ava nodded, threading their fingers together, and stepped out into the light.