Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

LA SIRENA SWEPT DOWN INTO THE PALE LAVENDER atmosphere of the Arcturian sky. There were no shifts or disruptions as the ship slipped through the streams of light, as if it were buoyed by an invisible cushion of water. Small ionic orbs drifted over and under the ship and the passengers of La Sirena enjoyed the light show as they flew.

 “It doesn’t feel like I’m controlling her at all,” Rios said.  Picard nodded.

 “Fascinating,” he said, as the orbs steered the ship through the pale sky of Arcturus. He wondered why Jocelyn hadn’t come forward to the bridge as they approached her home world, but then, she was taking the death of Swann badly. Another one she couldn’t save. Rios understood. They’d spent possibly their last night together hardly saying a word. She clung to him at times while making love, with a strength he never experienced before with her. He would feel the power of all her emotions flood through him, sadness, pain, joy, and love. He dared not move until she did, softly releasing him enough to breath again. And in those moments of release, he ever wanted her to let go.

 The beauty of finally reaching their destination was not lost on anyone, but it was bitter-sweet for Cris. There would now come a time to decide what was what in his relationship with Jocelyn. And he didn’t know what to think, or where to begin. Part of him knew it was next to impossible for them to stay together, that the affair was just that, an affair, that they would both have go on without each other. But, could they? There was a pain in his chest when he thought about not waking up next to her, when he thought about not touching her every day, even simply seeing her, or talking to her, or listening to her voice. He knew what that meant, and they’d spoken the words many times, without fear, but this love had absorbed more deeply than he’d expected. Where this love sat waiting, he felt pain. 

 He was brought out of his day dreaming when they were hailed by a ship that appeared out of nowhere. The huge Romulan warship de-cloaked and filled La Sirena’s bridge window. The ship sat at impulse without Rios doing anything, and the little orbs that floated around them dissipated and flew directly away from the warship, like birds avoiding a predator.

 “What’s a warship like that doing here?” Rios sat forward, tension creased his forehead.

 “It can only mean one thing,” Picard said. “They’re here. And so is Anil’s sister.”

 Rios confidently identified himself, and said that he was escorting The Countess Anil to her home planet. He gave a code that Swann had presented to him when they were a day out, over a month ago, but Rios had not expected this kind of security for a peaceful planet like Arcturus. Something was quite different. The last time he was in this system he was on the Ibn Majid. He had not disembarked on the planet, but remembered the quadrant. Romulan starships had not been involved. They received clearance a few minutes later, and descended down to the planet surface, escorted by two small warbirds. 

 “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Rios said quietly, looking at the fighters. He briefly thought of Raffi and Seven on their own warbird, hopefully hidden somewhere, but close enough to help if things got dicey. 

 Rios landed La Sirena and while she cooled, he headed out the open ramp to take in the surroundings. Picard and Elnor followed.
 “Where’s the welcome party?”

 A few moments later the “welcome party” arrived. A standard small  transport car greeted them, and two women with a startling resemblance to Jocelyn stepped out. The first introduced herself as Jonelle, Jocelyn’s youngest sister.

 Where is she? Rios thought of Jocelyn, as he shook Jonelle’s hand. He felt a small tingle at her touch, and looked at her. She had the same wide eyes as Jocelyn, but dark brown, instead of soft grey, in color,  and her hair was slightly darker and cut short. She was taller than Jocelyn. She and Rios met eye to eye. But her touch, which he realized she was intensionally pushing, faded from him almost instantly. It didn’t surround him the way Jocelyn’s energy did nor did he feel it soothing him. For a brief moment he saw surprise flick across this sister’s face. And it made him happy.

 “And this is our other sister, Jillion.” Jonelle said and stepped back. Jillion seemed older than both sisters in appearance, but Rios knew she was close to fifty years younger than Jocelyn. She had a softness to her that was comforting, and elegance similar to Jocelyn’s. He liked her instantly. She greeted them all and began to speak to Elnor. 

 Rios excused himself, saying he would check on The Countess.

 “She’s not a Countess here,” Jonelle said. 

 “I’m aware,” he said crisply, as he turned and walked back onto La Sirena. Never had he met someone that he disliked instantly more than her.

 He found Jocelyn sitting on the bed in her cabin. Most of her trunks were packed, but a lot of her things still cluttered the space. She was not prepared at all. She did not seem herself. She looked up at him when he walked in, but said nothing. He sat next to her and held out his hand. She took it, lacing her fingers through his. Her bank of flowing hair covered her face, but he was sure that she was crying, softly, without making a sound. He stared at their joined hands. There were no words to say, and if there were, he surely would be the last one to find them. 

 “I’ve met your sisters. One of them seems nice enough.”

 “Jillion is here?” Jocelyn picked her head up. 

 Rios nodded. 

 “I couldn’t sense her. I…I feel a little off. Or it might be something else.”

 “I don’t think it’s the same as when you were here last, Joss. And, I know this must be hard. All the crap with Locke. Losing Swann. Coming home…Me.”

 She laughed and he smiled. “They’re waiting, Jocelyn. You can’t stay on the ship forever.”

 She looked at him. 

 “Why not?”

 He was ready to answer when Picard called to them, and the words he wanted to say fell away, unspoken. They rose and went out. Jocelyn held his hand until Jillion ran up to her and hugged her. 

 “I can’t believe you’re here,” she gushed. She hugged her again and Cris could hear Jillion’s faint whispering, but couldn’t make out the words. His bad feeling crept back in. Jonelle greeted her sister. The hug from her was more halted. No whispering. 

 “Well, everyone should come and join us at our compound. I have everything prepared for you,” Jonelle said as she walked toward the transport. “Where’s that Swann of yours, Anil?”

 “He’s dead.” Jocelyn spoke flatly, Jonelle turned around.
 “Oh, sorry to hear. Old age?” Her sarcasm was palpable.

 “He was shot. Why all the security, Jonelle? The warship? Arcturus never needed this before?”

 “Times have changed. We’ve had small threats and I’ve felt the need for extra security. I am acting Regent now. It’s not your place to question me. Sister.”
 Jocelyn tipped her head, but said nothing else. She glanced at Cris, then at Jean-Luc. Cris noticed Jillion watching the exchange between them. He could only hope this was a good thing.

 Picard spoke to Rios quietly while they were in the transport vehicle. He wanted to suggest a visit to the Vox company as soon as possible without raising a suspicion. Rios shook his head. He already knew they’d never get there. His bad feeling was clearer than ever. 

 “This is a trap, Admiral,” he whispered. “We’ve walked right into it.”

 When they reached the compound, the inviting tone immediately changed. They found themselves surrounded by guards. Cris hated being right. Jonelle turned to them. 

 “I’m surprised you were stupid enough to come her, Anil.” Jonelle smirked as she stood in front of her sister. “You’ve come so innocently, thinking you could just resume your place. That’s not possible.”

 “I’m not here resume a place, Jonelle. Make you guards stand down. We are not a threat.”

 “Oh, yes you are. I know what you’ve been up to with your merry band of misfits. I only need one thing from you, then you can all go. I don’t care. You can return to the source if you want, or try to be Regent. I need only one thing in return.”

 “I’m not giving you anything, Jolon.”

 “Don’t make me…persuade you.” She looked at Rios, then at Picard. 

“You can stay and be Regent or whatever you want. That Romulan ship is waiting for me. What I need is that dead body you’ve been dragging around. I never thought you’d bring it right to me.”

 “If you mean Swann—“ Rios said.

 “Of course I don’t mean Swann. Jonelle rounded on Rios. “You’re an unnecessary distraction.” She motioned to the guards. 

 “Jonelle,” Picard said, “you must stop whatever it is you’re trying to do. Thakel told us enough. This is senseless terrorism. There is no gain to it.”

 “Ah, the brilliant diplomacy of Jean-Luc Picard. Whatever are you now? Far from human it seems. As Regent of this planet, Picard, I do whatever I want. Don’t even assume that you know what I am trying to do.” Jonelle turned to her guards again. “Take the Admiral and Captain away, and their body guard.”

 Elnor moved swiftly and took out two of the guards, but Picard stopped him. 

 “We jettisoned Locke’s body out into space,” Jocelyn said. “A few quadrants from here.”

 “Well, sister, let’s have a talk about where exactly.” 

 “We can talk, Jonelle, just let them go,” Jocelyn said, as she caught Cris’s eye. She nodded to Picard as well. 

 The three men stood down, and were escorted out after Rios and Elnor surrendered their weapons. 

 “We didn’t beam out Locke’s body,” Cris said. Jocelyn looked at him. “I didn’t tell you. I kept it. Just in case.”

 “We will be searching that ship of yours, Captain,” Jonelle said standing in front of him. “It better have what I need or I’m blowing her up.”

 They could hear Rios protesting as the three were dragged away and Jocelyn tried to send him a message that she had this under control. She was confused for a moment about his lie, but yet, somehow knew there was a plan to it, even as a delay tactic. They needed help a lot sooner than she thought they would. How long did Jean-Luc say it would take the Federation to arrive?

 “I need that body. It better be on that ship.”

 “And if it’s not?”

 Without touching her, she flung Jocelyn across the room. The assault surprised her, and the power behind it. Her wayward sister had grown stronger than anticipated. Jocelyn stood up, recovering herself from any damage immediately. She’d stored up as much energy as possible on their way here, and she’d held Cris’s hand as long as possible. He’d given her more  energy without knowing it. 

 Jocelyn summoned as much as she could and protected herself. When Jonelle tried again, she failed to hurt her. She yelled out in frustration.

 “You think you’re stronger now that you’re here,” Jonelle said, her voice rising, “but I control the power of this planet.”

 “No, Jonelle, you don’t control anything. It’s not even power. You’ve lost touch. I can tell. And you’ve robbed our sister of her own gifts, which makes you nothing more than a vampire. You cannot take, and not give back.”

 “Oh, you’ve come back after, what, sixty some years? You think you are stronger from being out there? Planning to give yourself back to the Source?”

 “Mother’s energy completely joined with mine when she did it. I don’t think you are the Regent anymore.” Jocelyn remained calm and she could sense the growing anger in her sister. It was not pretty. She was taking a chance that she’d balk, but Jonelle wasn’t doing it. She walked around Jocelyn like a predator circling its prey, refocusing. Jocelyn could see her sister’s mind working, and she could feel her anger distorting her thoughts. She would change tactics. Jocelyn prepared herself.

 “I see you brought a pet with you. That Captain? I didn’t think you had it in you. You were always so…celibate. I give you credit for at least enjoying yourself.”

 Jonelle moved quickly to Jocelyn and grabbed her throat. Jocelyn reached up and grabbed her sister’s hand, tried to pull her away, but she had gripped her in such a way that she couldn’t. Jonelle was drawing out all of Jocelyn’s strength in the process, as she tried to rebalance and hold her off. But Jocelyn could feel herself weaken. This can’t be happening, she thought.

 “When you’re gone, maybe I’ll take over for you with the handsome Captain.” Jocelyn struggled, and fell to her knees. Jonelle still held her, draining her away. “There’s something different about him, I can tell. That’s why you had to have him. And what the fuck with that old bag Picard? He’s not even human anymore. Bet the tech in him would help us. I’ll have special plans for him as well. The kid you brought, I’ll change him over to our side. His brain is so pliable.”

 “What made you like this, Jonelle?” Jocelyn gasped through her restricted position. “What did they promise you? What would change you enough to make you hate so much? To make you hate me?”

 “Nothing, Anil. Nothing changed me!” Jonelle tightened her grip. “I always hated you!”

 
Rios, Picard and Elnor waited in a locked room. Elnor surveyed it, trying to find a way out, but it was air tight. 

 “Stay calm,” Picard said to them.  

 “I think she spoke to me when we were being taken out,” Rios said. “In my mind, or something. She said she had this under control. Maybe I imagined it.”

 “Your connection is strong. She was possibly speaking to you. We have to wait. This isn’t the end. What do you feel now?”

 “What do you mean? Can I feel her?” 

 “Try,” Picard said. “Just picture her in your mind, tell us what you feel.”

 Rios closed his eyes for a few moments. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Then his eyes opened wide. 
 “She’s scared. She can’t breath!”

 Rios bolted to the door and pounded. Within a few minutes it opened. Jillion stepped through, beckoning them to follow her. She had their weapons as well. They ran to where her sisters were. Jonelle holding Jocelyn on the floor, literally draining the life from her. Jillion yelled at her, and the wave of her words hit Jonelle, throwing her off Jocelyn. 

 She uprighted herself instantly and drew a phaser as if it were her last resort. She shot at Jillion but Elnor deflected the phaser strike with his sword. It sparked off and flew back at Jonelle, who tried to escape it, but was hit in the shoulder. She screamed. Then she hit a comm she was wearing. She was being transported. In her last second of presence, she shot her phaser again, this time at Jocelyn.

Rios  raised his gun, stepped in front of Jocelyn, taking the shot squarely in his chest. His entire universe went black.

 He was sitting on a patio, surrounded by strange flowers. More fucking flowers, he thought. In front of him a small black owl sat on a table looking at him. It hopped a few inches toward his hand and pecked at it. 
 “Hey,” Rios said, but the owl looked at him and waited. Rios reached out slowly and touched the owl’s ruff. It seemed to like it, and closed its eyes. Then Jocelyn was sitting next to him, in one of her sheer white gowns and he wondered how she got there without him noticing. He knew he had to go. Something was pulling him to leave, even as he rubbed the sweet owl’s chest.

 “Is this the one you saved when you were a little girl?”

 “She is,” Jocelyn said. “I never named her.”

 “How about Noche?” He smiled. 

 “That sounds good,” Jocelyn said, then she touched his arm.

 “What’s wrong?”

 “You can’t go,” she said. “I won’t let you. You have to stay.”

 “I don’t, I don’t think I belong here. Are we on some holodeck or something?” He felt off, like he wasn’t really… there, like this body he was  in was looking down at his own body, which wasn’t him, that he was something else entirely.

 “We are in another plane of existence,” she said softly. “You have to go back.”

 “No. I’m not really here.” He said flatly. He’d stopped petting the owl. He looked at Jocelyn, her large eyes, those eyelashes, her perfect lips, so close to him. “Am I still here?”

 “Yes. You’re here, mi amor. With me. Stay with me.”

 He felt himself slipping away. Jocelyn was no longer holding his arm. She had vanished. The owl cooed and vanished as well. He looked up at a light above him. 

 Then he was on La Sirena, slipping her through the asteroid field again. He was flying towards the brightest light. He let go of the ship’s controls and surrendered. A blue-green flash was all he saw, then he felt like he was falling backward. He reached up and grabbed the controls.

 
 Rios sat up abruptly, spilling off the bed with a hard thump. Jillion was beside him in an instant, and Picard was in a chair across the room. Jillion’s held him softly, helping him back onto the bed. 

 “Well, you’re awake, finally,” she said. She smiled at him, touched his hair.

 He was shirtless, a white band of cloth surrounding his torso. He felt a soft pain in the center of his rib cage. He could not remember how he got there. 

 “What’s going on? What happened?”

 Picard was by his side, trying to calm him. 

 “I can’t remember what happened?” He looked at Jillion and realized  he didn’t know her. “You’re not Jocelyn.”

 “I’m Jillion, her sister. Do you remember meeting me?”

 “Vaguely,” he spat. The confusion surrounded his mind. “I’m sorry, I sound rude.”

 “You’ve been through a trauma, Rios,” Jean-Luc said. “You were unconscious for a while.”

 “Unconsious. How long?”

 “Two days.”

 “Two days? Two fucking days! Ah, Carumba! Where is everyone? Where’s Jocelyn?”

 Picard and Jillion looked at each other, and the pain in Rios’s heart returned. “No. No, don’t tell me.” He pushed himself off the bed, Picard trying to hold him back.

 “She’s fine, Rios. She’s fine. She’s resting.”

 Jillion handed him a black tee shirt and Rios slipped it on over his head and bandaged chest, then held his hand there, where the pain was still sharp. He met Picard’s eye.

 “What happened?”

 “You died, Rios,” he said softly. “Jocelyn brought you back.”

 Cris shook his head and closed his eyes. “I don’t remember what happened. How?”

 “It was Jonelle. She shot you before being beamed aboard the Romulan warship. Actually, she was shooting at Anil, but you stepped in front of her. You saved her life.”

 “And she saved mine,” Rios said, but he was frustrated instead of glad. “So why isn’t she here?”

 “She’s still recovering,” Jillion said. “I can take you to her. Please, let’s take our time. Everything is fine.” Her soothing voice felt good, floated through the air, and Rios recognized her gift. Her words could change how someone felt instantly. And somehow he knew her words could shatter bones as well. As they walked down a hall away from the medical wing of the compound, Picard spoke.

 “Your plan seemed to work. They found Locke’s body on La Sirena and took it. How long before they figure out it’s a hologram?”

 “Not sure. Ian programed it to self-program itself over and over again as long as the energy source doesn’t fail. I supposed if they try to, uh, open it for the nanites, it will stop the program.”

 “Brilliant idea, Captain.” 

 They came to Jocelyn’s room and stopped, and Cris’s bad feeling came back again.

 When he was shot in front of her she watched as he fell to the floor. She could sense his life vanish, as if it were nothing more than a swirl of air in a wind. She laid herself against him and held him. His eyes were closed. Jillion and Jean-Luc had pulled her away from him, and as Jillion held her, Jocelyn cried out. Jillion began to restore her sister, healing the physical damage she had. The emotional, she could not.

 
 “I have to try,” Jocelyn said, through her tears. “Even if it kills me. I have to try to save him.”

 “Anil,” Jean-Luc said, “you are too weak right now.”

 “I have to try. I have to. I cannot live if I don’t try. He doesn’t have to die for me.”

 “I will help,” Jillion said. “I will try to heal his wound. You’ll have to go in and find him.”

 Jocelyn nodded. She knelt close to his head and placed her hands on each side of his face. While her sister healed his body, Jocelyn went to that other place the dead go. 

 And brought him back.

 She was so pale. He sat on the bed next to her, and gently took her hand. Her lips had no color but were as white as her skin. She didn’t look alive. But he could feel her pulse, too soft, a whisper, but there. When he moved closer he felt her pulse stronger. 
 “Can I help her?” He asked Jillion. 
 “I think you can.” She smiled softly. 

 Cris reached down and wrapped Joss in his arms. He lifted her gently to him, holding her close, cradling her head against his shoulder. He felt the pain again where he’d been shot, but as he held her, it subsided until he felt it not at all. He let go of his possible anger at the risk she’d taken to save him. He let go of the thought that he wasn’t worth it. He let go of all lack of forgiveness he held within. Images of the dream he’d had when he was gone came to him. The little black owl, Joss next to him, begging him to stay, the weighted feeling of not being there, of not actually existing in this universe, the controls of his ship slipping away…a light, so bright, that he turned away from. Jocelyn had been there, bringing him back. 

 She stirred in his arms, her first movements. He turned his face down to hers. Her eyes were open, a faint smile.

 
 “You came back,” she whispered. 

 He kissed her forehead. When he realized that Jillion and Jean-Luc had gone, left them to be alone, he laid down next to Joss, slipping under the covers, never releasing her. He lost track of the time. Everything else faded away as he held her. He could sense she was feeling better.

 “You have to name that little black owl now,” he whispered. She laughed in his arms. 

 “Noche,” she said. “You named her Noche. I remember.”

 “I remember, too.”

 “The Federation has arrived,” Picard said. “They detained the warship that was stationed here.”

 All of them were sitting, waiting for the next move. It would be the last one in this adventure. Rios had a large drink in his hand, the purple vodka popular on this planet, and was smoking his cigar away from the others. Jocelyn watched him. The entire circumstance of dying and almost dying had an effect on both of them. Saving each other created a connection that Rios and Jocelyn didn’t want to destroy. She didn’t know how to ask him to stay. He didn’t know how to ask her to go with him.

 Elnor was sitting on the floor surrounded by kittens. Jillion’s cat had given birth a few weeks ago. The mother cat sat close by, watching the tiny fluff balls crawl over this new person. Jocelyn had to smile. 

 “And what of my sister?” 

 “I’m afraid she had transported herself and the holograph body of Dr. Locke onto a warbird and escaped. Seven and Raffi tailed her for a while, but she eluded them.”

 “What does that mean? Will she come back?”

 “Possibly. The Federation is setting up more protection for you and the people here. You are acting Regent now from what I understand.”

 Jocelyn sighed and glanced at Cris. He still looked away as if fascinated by something beyond the horizon in the lavender sky. She saw a man tethered to the ground when she looked at him, wings clipped, waiting. It created a pain in her heart. 

 “Jillion will be doing more than I will. She has a pulse on what is happening here. The Cyber Vox company is being investigated and the program development has been closed down for now. It was a wonderful plan creating that hologram body.”

 “That was him,” Picard said, tilting his head towards Rios. 

 “I didn’t know,” she said. She looked at him then down at her hands. “What happened to the real body?”

 “Dr. Locke was beamed aboard the Stargazer. They will take it back to Earth. And I’ve arranged for them to pick of his wife’s body as well, so they could be interred together. This was a sad situation for them.”

 “I wish we could have done more,” she said then lowered her voice. “Cris blames himself for Mrs. Locke.”

 She saw him tip his head up, annoyed, look at her, then he walked over and sat with them. He was listening to everything. 

 “Sorry,” she said. “Jean-Luc should know.”

 “I wish I just kept them on La Sirena. Maybe it would’ve been different.”

 “I don’t think it would have,” Picard said. “Thakel or the others would have broken into the ship, or stolen it. She would have died anyway, and you possibly would have lost your ship. It was meant to be the way it was. Erase that regret, son.”

 Jocelyn saw Cris’s face change with that one word from the Admiral. The word “son.” She watched his sad smile as he looked at Jean-Luc. 

 “So, I have more interesting news,” Picard went on. “Elnor has been invited to join Starfleet Academy if he so chooses. And Raffi and Seven have been asked to come back as well, with full honors and designations. The work we did last year and now this has it’s rewards.”

 Picard looked at Cris. “And you’ve been reinstated as well, Rios.”

 Rios scoffed, a wain smile on his face. “They just want to control a vigilante like me. They don’t want me flying around, stopping terrorists or whatever, and they don’t get the credit. That goes for all of us.”

 “They would be honored to reinstate you. Clear record. Full commission. I would suspect an offer as a Captain in Star Fleet would be eminent. You could ask for whatever ship you wanted, more or less.”

 Jocelyn reached out and took his hand, and Cris looked at her. She smiled softly. There was nothing more to say.

The Ending:
(cue music: the song: How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by Florence and the Machine)

 They were standing in front of La Sirena. Jocelyn had said her good-byes to Elnor and Picard, who were boarding the freighter. Elnor held a kitten to the very last moment before giving it back to Jillion. Rios laughed softly.

 “I told him, no fucking way, no cats on board.”

 Jocelyn laughed too. “Wow. You’ve grown so soft, Captain.”

 He turned to her. She held her hands out to him, palms down, her invitation, and he took them. He felt the warmth of her ease into the last of his pain. The chest wound was nothing more that a slight scar, pale, almost like a dream. This was something else he was feeling. His heart was breaking. His emotions flayed. It was a new feeling. And he didn’t like it.

 “You could come with us,” he said. “I just have to beam Picard and the kid onto one of those Federation ships when we meet up with them.”

 “Then what?” She smiled up at him. 

 “I don’t know. We could…do whatever we want.”

 She laughed and touched his face, holding her hand against his cheek. 

 “You owe it to yourself to find out what Starfleet has to offer.”

 He shook his head, but she continued. 

 “This is the closure you need, Cris. Working it through on your own, trying to find that source of forgiveness isn’t working. They’ve recognized you now, the man you truly are and from what Jean-Luc has told me, you are Starfleet to the core.”

 He took her into his arms. “I can’t. I don’t owe them anything.”

 “But they owe you, Captain.” She kissed him softly, then more passionately, not caring who could be watching, then pulled away slightly. 

 “You have to see what it is. You will feel tied down here, Cris. This place, though lovely, isn’t for you. I know this with every fiber of my being. A place to visit. A long stay for sure. But you can’t stay here.”

 “Come with me.”

 “I want to, believe me. More than anything. But I have things I need to do here. Jillion needs my help. Our sister has all but destroyed the precious balance that was central on this planet. The waves of this imbalance have to be mended. It’s something I can do. I can help.”

 “That doesn’t mean what I think it means.” His brow furrowed.

 “No,” she said smiling. “No returning to the Source. I have too much to do.”

 He let out a long breath, relieved. She kissed him again, and he held her so that her feet left the ground. She started to cry. After a few minutes he set her down. He wiped away her tears, and kissed her forehead.

 “One thing I know in my heart is that we will see each other again. Sooner, or later, but we will see each other. This is a fact. There is no doubt. And it will be at the right time, the right place for us. I promise.”

 “I thought you said a promise is a prison?”

 They both laughed, still in the embrace. 

 “Well,” Jocelyn said. “If it is, we have the key, don’t we?”

 On board, Rios sat in the captain’s chair, gained the controls and pulled the ship up slowly. Picard and Elnor were seated on either side of him, and the holographs, Emmitt, Ian, Enoch, Emil, and even Mr. Hospitality were on the bridge, watching as the Captain swept the ship around Jocelyn’s compound before heading upward. 

 “I will miss The Countess,” Mr. Hospitality said. The others nodded. 

Rios rolled his eyes, wondering when he’d asked for their appearance. Or had they done it themselves? Were they thinking on their own now?

 “She’s not a Countess,” Rios said gruffly. “She’s much more than that.”

 Jocelyn watched La Sirena’s red streaked body rise from the Arcturus surface. The ship drew up straight into the lavender cloudless sky, then swept around in an arc before gaining more altitude.

Jocelyn Anil, Regent of Arcturus, watched the starship freighter until it was nothing more than a speck in the sky, and with a tiny visible flash, it vanished. 

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful
(Lyrics by Florence Leontine Mary Welch/Isabella Janet Florentina Summers)

Between a crucifix and the Hollywood sign, we decided to get hurt
Now there’s a few things we have to burn
Set our hearts ablaze, and every city was a gift
And every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips
And I was making you a wish
In every skyline

How big, how blue, how beautiful


How big, how blue, how beautiful

And meanwhile a man was falling from space
And every day I wore your face
Like an atmosphere around me
The satellite beside me
And meanwhile a man was falling from space
As he hit the earth I left this place
Let the atmosphere surround me
The satellite beside me

What are we gonna do?
We’ve opened the door, now it’s all coming through
Tell me you see it too
We opened our eyes and it’s changing the view
oh, what are we gonna do?
We opened the door now, it’s all coming through

How big, how blue, how beautiful

How big, how blue, how (beautiful)

And every city was a gift
And every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips
And I was making you a wish
In every skyline
And meanwhile a man was falling from space
And every day I wore your face
Like an atmosphere around me
I’m happy you’re beside me

What are we donna do?
We’ve opened the door, not it’s all coming through
Tell me you see it too
We opened our eye and it’s changing the view
Oh, what are we gonna do?
We opened the door now, it’s all coming through

How big, how blue, how (beautiful)
How big, how blue, how (beautiful)
How big, how blue, how

So much time on the other side
Waiting for you to wake up
So much time on the other side
Waiting for you to wake up
Maybe I’ll see you in another life
If this one wasn’t enough
So much time on the other side
How big, how blue, how (beautiful)
How big, how blue, how

 Ending #2 (Epilogue)

“Captain’s Log: Stardate 2401, Captain Cristobal Rios of the Starship USS Stargazer.

 We are scheduled to host negotiations between the two leaders of a small planet called Andella. I’m not even sure what the issue is, but neither party will come to an agreement. An empathic Arcturian ambassador is to board to monitor the negotiations and bring this civil conflict to an end. I have to say, I was pleased to hear that it will Jocelyn Anil who will be attending. It’s been over a year since we last saw each other. Time has gone by so fast. She was Regent of Arcturus, when we parted, and I had heard that she’d accepted a Federation approved Ambassador position, to be called when needed. She had sent a message of congratulations when I was commissioned as Captain of the Stargazer. She wanted me to see this through, to find the closure I needed. She knew Starfleet was where I belonged. 
 She was always right. 
 I do not expect anything, what we had before, which was significant and life-changing, I can’t expect she would feel the same. But I look forward to seeing her again. I missed her and thought of her every fucking day. 
 Fuck. Log closed.”

 “Guess I’ll be editing that one too,” Rios muttered to himself. He half expected at times for one of his holograms to appear, asking if he needed anything, or to do the log editing he was still not good at. Did he actually miss them? He shook his head at the thought.

 His computer screen beeped. The ship’s computer spoke. 
 “Counselor request submitted, Captain Rios. Candidates will be sent within twelve hours. Please specify Starfleet Candidate only, Non-Starfleet only, or Both.”
 “Both.”
 “Thank you, Captain Rios. Your position offer has been submitted.”
 Rios sighed. 

 Twelve hours later, Jocelyn was beamed directly into the meeting on board the Stargazer, accompanied by one female bodyguard. The meeting had gone to hell within minutes, and the Ambassador had been late. The yelling ceased immediately, as if someone had turned off the sound of blaring speaker. Her mere presence had eased everyone in the room, including the Captain. She caught his eye quickly and smiled, then immediately began to address one of the leaders. She looked beautiful, the same as he remembered, yet different. There was something more to her, a quality he hadn’t seen before. He couldn’t place what it was. A sort of joy exuded from her, more than the soothing energy that she placed in the room with her presence. He let it float over him and enclose him. 

 He could see the two Andellan leaders were enclosed too. One of them Jocelyn knew, and had healed his son some years ago. She asked about the boy, who was a grown man with a child of his own, and so with a few kind words and a shared memory, she had one of the leaders, this man with the most problem with his co-leader, realizing he was wrong in his attempt to take over land that wasn’t his. It was all nonsense, but as a Starfleet Captain his responsibility included, at times, finding peace on Federation unified places. 

 When the meeting was over, Rios offered to walk Jocelyn to her quarters. Her bodyguard hesitates. 

 “I’ll walk back with the Captain,” Jocelyn said. 

 They board an elevator and turn, only to be accompanied by two more people.

 “Captain.”

 “Captain.”

 Rios nodded to both officers. He and Jocelyn stood close together behind them, waiting. He could tell she was silently laughing and she reached for his hand, which he clasped eagerly, fingers lacing together. Nothing had changed. Not even for a space of extended time, not for one second. He could feel this with all his being. 
 When the two ensigns left, she turned to him, and he wrapped his arms around her. 

 “Computer, stop elevator.”

 “Yes, Captain,” the computer said.

 “Complete control of this beautiful ship, Captain. Impressive.”

 “It’s not that beautiful,” he said. “I’ve seen better.”

 They both laughed. He kissed her, feeling the pure light flow through him. He had retained a lot of her energy, after she’d brought him back, after dying. The soothing power of her planet stayed with him a long time, even with his retraining and relearning of all Starfleet codes. Some of it had diminished, and he realized exactly how much, the moment she was in his arms.

 When they let go she brushed his uniform, as if she’d wrinkled it.

 “And, a beautiful Starfleet Captain. I heard when it happened. I was happy with your choice.”

 “I got your note of congratulations. I was glad you thought of me. I know you were busy on your planet.”

 She laughed softly. “You have no idea.” 

 The Captain ordered the elevator to resume and soon they were at her quarters. Before entering she turned to him. He could see her hesitation, he could feel her nervousness, which was rare for her. He knew that too. 

 “What is it?”

 “Please don’t be angry. I had to do it this way. I had to wait for the right time.”

 “I can’t be angry with you. Ever.”

 “You might be, with this.”

 She opened the door and they entered her quarters. He’d made sure she had one of the best apartments on the ship, with two bedrooms as requested, and conveniently close to his quarters, his request, just in case. The other woman was there and Jocelyn introduced her as Alena, her assistant. 

 “Is she still awake?” Jocelyn asked. Alena nodded and went into the other room. 

 “I want you to meet someone,” she said to Cris. 

 Jocelyn went in the other room, and when she returned she was carrying a child, a little girl, younger than a year, in Cris’s estimation, though he had minimal experience with children. She had dark waves of hair and big dark eyes, yet he could see she looked like Jocelyn. A wave of realization hit him. The little girl stared at him, then shyly turned and buried her face in Jocelyn’s neck.

 
 “It’s okay,” she whispered. “This is who I’ve been telling you about.”

 “Please don’t be mad,” Jocelyn said to him. “I had to do it this way. By myself. I’m so sorry.”

 He shook his head. Cris wasn’t sure what he felt. There was that glow of joy that surrounded Joss, and now he knew why. And he couldn’t believe that this was happening, that a well of love could run this deep.

 The little girl turned and looked at him. This couldn't be.

 “Sweetie, this is your father. Cris, this is Sirena. Your daughter."

 Cris caught his breath and came closer to Sirena. She smiled at him shyly. 

 “Hi sweetie,” he said softly. “Mi hija.”

 He reached out to touch her and Sirena's little arms reached for him. Instinctively, he picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him. He closed his eyes. He felt the warmth of her being flow through him, comforting him, a soothing that was different than Jocelyn’s, yet the same. He kissed her head, fighting back tears. 

 “Please don’t be mad,” Joss whispered again, touching his face and their daughter’s back. He opened his eyes.

 “How can I be angry,” he said. “with this? I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it’s far from anger. How can this be?”

 “Being half Arcturian, a pregnancy goes faster than human. Sirena too is advanced for her age. She’s only eight months old, but her awareness is that of a three year old. She doesn’t speak, or cry, at all, and she probably won’t for some years. That’s how I was anyway. But her awareness and gifts will level out later. But she is more human than I am, so I’m not absolutely sure.”

 Sirena leaned back and held her father’s face with her small hands. She smiled at him, combing his beard with her fingers. He laughed.

 “That tickles, you know,” he said. “So you don’t talk much huh?” 

Sirena just smiled at him and then looked at Jocelyn. He passed her over. 

 “She’s tired. It was her first trip. This is all new for her.” Alena came back and took Sirena to the other room. Cris watched them leave, his little girl’s eyes holding his as he smiled at her. 

 “Please tell me you’re happy,” Jocelyn said.

 “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 “I don’t know. I didn’t want you to stay, to be tethered to a place that wasn’t yours. You would have resented that. You needed this closure.”

 “You knew before I left?”

 “Yes.”

 “And you let me go?”

 “Yes. I had to. It had to be this way.”

 “Joss,” he said and closed his eyes. He wanted to be angry, yet couldn’t. The well of love he was sitting in just destroyed all the possible anger within him. It didn’t matter. It was the past. 

 He pulled her into his arms. She was so relieved he could feel her soften. He kissed her forehead. 

 “What do we do now?” 

 “Well,” she said. “I’ve—“

 “Wait, you actually have a plan. Now. After all this time.”

 “Yes,” she said. “I actually do. I’ve been recommended by Jean-Luc as a counselor for Starfleet and they’ve accepted me. I’ve sent my application for the Stargazer, since there was a position available. Of course, that renegade Captain will have to approve me, so I’m not sure, but I’m hopeful.”

 “That Captain is a pain in the ass, I’ve heard,” Cris said. “But he knows a good counselor when he sees one.”

 She smiled and then he saw her look around the room and gasp. In all her excitement and nervousness as presenting their daughter, she hadn’t noticed the vases of peonies displayed everywhere. Cris could only get replicated ones, but the gesture wasn’t lost. 

 “I hope you like them.”

 “I do. I love that you remembered.”

 “How could I forget?” 

Alternate Ending #3 

  Joss sat in Tacs bar at the Capella Space Port. She lit a thin cigar and drank the shot Tacs placed in front of her. The crowd had thinned, but a man sat close to her, too close, almost touching her. He was clearly drunk, she could feel it, and he took his time staring at her. It was not her fault. She hadn’t even looked at him. He reached over as if to touch her leg, but his hand stopped. There was a phaser against his head. Captain Rios stood next to him. 

 “The lady wants to be left alone,” he said.

 “Yea, got it, got it!” He slid from his chair and left. Rios took his place.

 “I could have handled that,” Joss said. “Honestly.” Tacs set down a pair of shots for them. Rios took his. Joss held hers up. “This will be number five. I’m way ahead of you.”
 Rios raised his brows, lit his cigar. “We have another hour and the ship will be ready. Meanwhile we could…”

 “Captain Rios?”

 Joss started laughing. She saw who it was before Rios did, but he knew the voice without turning around. 

 “Fuck, Quell, I’m beginning to believe you’ve been following us.”

 The Reptilian said hello to Joss, calling her the Countess, then slid up and took the bar stool next to Rios. 

 “Not following at all,” Quell said. “Pure coincidence. Or synchronicity. I could use that ride you owe me.”

 “Not a passenger freighter, Quell. It’s not happening.”

 “Ah, come on, Rios. You owe me one. You said so yourself,” Quell ordered another round for all of them. “Have a heart, Captain.”

 Jocelyn giggled and continued to smoke. Rios just shook his head.

 
 “You think this is funny,” he said he said to her. 

 “I know you have a heart in there, mi amor,” she teased, poking his chest. He was doomed.

 A few hours later, on board La Sirena, Quell and his family arrived. His wife came with him, and towing along with her, too many reptilian children to count, all in various heights and sizes. 

 “This will be their first time on a starship, Captain,” Quell said proudly. 

 Rios looked at Jocelyn and he didn’t have to say anything. 

 “I’ll handle this, of course, Captain.” She patted Rios’s arm as he walked by, then turned to Quell and his family. “Don’t mind the Captain. He’s delightfully annoyed. As usual.”

 Once their guests were settled, Jocelyn sat down in the navigation seat, while Cris set the course and hit the warp drive. Mr. Hospitality appeared and poured tea. When he was done, Jocelyn excused him, and he disappeared. 

 “You spend too much time with that one,” Rios said. He was still delightfully annoyed, and painfully alluring. She secretly loved when he was like this. “Are our guest settled?”

 “Pretty much. The kids were cold. Mr. Hospitality set them up in the bunks and we turned the heat system higher in their quarters. They’ll be fine.”

 “I really, really, and I mean really, don’t care,” he said dryly, but he smiled despite himself and reached for a cigar. Joss got up and straddled his lap, taking the cigar away.

 “Eh, mi amor,” he said. 

 “So where are we going?”

 “Seven has reached out. Seems she needs some assistance in the Beta quadrant. Some sort of medical cargo.”

 “That’s a ways to go. I know it well. What about Quell and family? Where are we dropping them?”

 “Have no idea. I think they’re just coming for the ride. Literally.”

 She leaned in and kissed him, a long and lasting one. Rios loved how she surprised him like this. He reached under her shirt and moved his hand up toward her breast, holding her softly. She pressed in against his hips and he found his mind trying to figure out the easiest way to get her pants off. She was reaching down, undoing his belt, thinking the same thing, when they were interrupted by a noise next to the captain’s chair. They stopped kissing and looked down at one of Quell’s reptilian children, a smaller one, who had something in his three-fingered hand. He held it up to Joss.

 “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Rios said. 

 Joss reached down and plucked the pink peony from the little one’s hand and said thank you softly. The little green one smiled strangely with his toothless mouth and slid away, making strange splat sounds as he left. 

 “This day cannot get much weirder,” Rios said. 

 “This day could not get much…better,” Joss said as she tucked the flower behind her ear, and resumed kissing him. 

 As they soared smoothly through space on La Sirena at warp speed, Rios had to agree.