Chapter Text
Sleeping Beauty
[Part 3: The Confession]
July 21, 2015 (Tuesday)
Lewis bursts through the door of the hospital room, his clothes mussed up from the sprint and his socks didn’t match. He drops a crumpled paper bag on the side table, it contains a half-eaten tuna sandwich. His breakfast, but he’s not hungry. His hair was a curly mess atop his head hidden by his hat and he’s pulling up his usual chair with his foot so he doesn’t take his eyes off of Nico. He’s gasping, he needs air. He needs air.
He needs Nico.
“I skipped out on testing today.” He started, holding Nico’s limp hand in both of his own. His breathing was evening out smoothly and he could hear the shrill beeping of the heart monitor again. Everything is beginning to look real and Lewis is terrified of losing hope.
He’s terrified of losing him.
“Toto was alright with it, Stoffel is filling in for me. And they’re still trying to fix your-” Lewis chokes, the nightmares he had last night coming back to him like a wave of terror. Nico spinning, Nico lying unconscious, Nico crashing and crashing and crashing-
He needs Nico like he needs air.
“You better be better when I come back next time okay? Stop worrying me, man.” Lewis said jestingly but his lip was quivering too hard already. He had hoped that Nico was awake, that’s the entire reason he sprinted over.
Please, wake up.
“If you don’t get up soon I’ll stop going to races and then Ferrari will win the Championship” he threatened, expecting to hear a hell no from Nico. But he didn’t.
The world spun, the clouds moved, pigs didn’t fly, and Nico Rosberg was still in a coma.
I need you.
Lewis stormed out, angrily wiping away at his tears. Maybe if he ran a couple more miles he’ll forget about his broken heart.
He’s back after breaking down at least twice at a nearby park and Niki is there eating his tuna sandwich.
“It’s about time” he scolded, getting up so Lewis can sit in the chair next to Nico. Niki smiles when Lewis sits, ignoring how puffy and red his eyes looked. That’s where he belonged.
July 22, 2015 (Wednesday)
“That was a terrible threat, if I don’t race then you’d be buying time for someone else to win the championship” Lewis says the next day when he takes his place by Nico’s side again. It was Toto who was puttering about this time. He and Niki didn’t want to leave Lewis alone and the press was beginning to ask questions about Lewis Hamilton’s frequent visits to the hospital his rival was confined in.
The press barely remembered they’d been friends.
Lewis himself had said that they were not friends.
He shook his head, riding himself of the ugly emotion. Guilt was for people who dwelt too much in the past and never made themselves worth anything. He and Nico had been through too much for them to genuinely hate each other.
“What if I give you my champagne next race?” Lewis asked, drumming his fingers on Nico’s arm. No reaction, Lewis expected as much. The doctors said Nico’s brain activity was spiking every now and again so it was probably best for Lewis to keep talking to him. It just confirmed things for Lewis. Nico was in there, fighting.
He’s always fighting, Lewis grinned.
“What if I get everyone to stop calling you Princess?” More silence. Lewis bit his lip, resting his head on Nico’s forearm. His skin was cold where Lewis’ was warm. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to kiss him.
He wanted Nico to kiss back.
“What if I name my first born after you?” More silence.
Lewis shut his eyes, this wasn’t a fairytale. If he kissed Nico it didn’t mean he would wake up. He couldn’t will him awake. He had no dragon to slay. He could only wait. The wetness falling from Lewis’ face went unnoticed. He wasn’t a stranger to them anymore. It would only get worse if he bottled them up. He looked at Nico, he looked so alive. He looked like he could wake up any second.
But Lewis knew better, he wasn’t waking up. He wasn’t ready to.
“Why won’t you come back to me?” he whispered into Nico’s skin.
A twitch.
Lewis’s eyes flew open, feeling muscle groups moving where he laid on Nico’s forearm. Nico’s pinky, his tiniest finger, was twitching. And, like vapor after the rain, the movement vanished.
“Nico?” Lewis said, his tone hushed trying to replicate whatever he did to make Nico react. But how?
“Nico? It’s me, can you hear me?” he stood up, cupping Nico’s face in his hands. No reaction. “Please” he whispered, brushing his hair away from his face he stared at Nico.
Back for a moment and gone again. Nico didn’t react again for the rest of the day.
July 23, 2015 (Thursday)
There’s a person knocking on Lewis’ door at one O’ Clock in the afternoon and he opens it to find Niki Lauda standing with his arms crossed.
“You are not giving up on him” he says plainly, but his face is angry. Niki is rarely angry anymore. Lewis wonders why he’s angry now.
“I’m not giving up on him” Lewis rolls his eyes and tries to shut the door but Niki is a surprisingly strong old man, he pushes until Lewis gives in and walks into Lewis’ flat like he owns it. “Excuse me?” he says, sarcastically.
“You are excused” Niki responds with even more sarcasm and looks at Lewis like he’s saying ‘who’s the ornery bastard now?’.
“What do you want? Why do you even care?” Lewis lets out a long breathe, sick of all the bullshit. People worming into his personal business, his clothes, his friendships, his rivalries. Niki’s jaw is set like he’s about to give Lewis a piece of his mind but the hand on Lewis’ shoulder is understanding.
Lewis goes back in time to 1976, remembers the fated crash that burned half of Niki’s face and left him in a coma. He remembers picture books with Niki and a British Driver laughing together. And he remembers a news article his dad was reading once, British Driver Dead Because Of Heart Attack.
“James Hunt, World Racing Champion 1976. I-” Niki paused, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I was in love with him once.” He smiled at Lewis like a grandfather would to his grandson. “When I was in a coma, he visited me all the time. And I never forgot it.” He mused and Lewis could only stand and stare.
“He kept me sane”
July 24, 2015 (Friday)
“I’m sorry” he muttered, back at Nico’s bedside the next day. Niki had said there was an improvement with Nico lately. He wasn’t so cold anymore and Lewis couldn’t help but stare because he was actually smiling like he was having a really good dream. “That was kind of selfish, I thought that the pain of seeing you like this was rough” he explained, holding Nico’s hand.
“But the truth is you probably have it worse than me, right?” Lewis laughed, his voice coming out soft without him meaning it to as if any noise would disturb how peaceful Nico looked. “And I’m sorry for this season too, for letting it make us hate each other”
The silence makes Lewis want to cry but now was not a good time. If he didn’t say it now, he probably would never be able to say it.
“Truth is, I’ve never hated you” Lewis admits, feeling a slight disturbance from the corner of his eye. A disturbance he ignored, it was probably his imagination anyway. He didn’t notice the sharp ping of one of the machines, too focused on Nico.
“I’m in love with you, Nico” he whispers into Nico’s skin and a sudden gush of wind blows at the back of his neck but he keeps his face pressed against his rival’s forearm. “And I’m sorry that I only realized it when you’re half-dead but I’m an idiot, you know that.”
A familiar deep staccato rhythm broke the silence and Lewis realized someone was laughing.
And it wasn’t him.
“You can say that again”
If Lewis turned any faster he would have gotten whiplash because Nico was awake. And suddenly, Lewis was at a loss for words. He sat there, opening and closing his mouth.
“Speechless now, Hamilton?” Nico grinned, running a hand through his hair out of habit and stretching out his arms. Lewis reached out to pinch himself, crying out at the pain. This was real. This wasn’t a dream.
Nico was awake.
“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” Lewis chuckled briefly, taking in the sight of him talking up a storm as if he was never in a coma. Nico stopped talking – he had been asking about the race – and was looking intently at Lewis, poking at his face. “Are you crying?”
Lewis blinked, touching his face. “Damn it” he cursed, he had started crying again. He was about to leave to get tissue and probably a doctor to look Nico over when he felt a hand tugging at his elbow.
“I love you too”
Lewis froze, the entire week forgotten. His entire being screaming for this moment with Nico. They waited for a while this way, with Nico’s hand – not limp or cold – tugging on Lewis and the next thing he knows Nico is smirking. It’s his last rational thought before Nico is pulling him in and Lewis allows himself to give in.
Nico’s lips are on his and it’s like time moves faster than light, faster than their cars, pumping more adrenaline into him than any Formula 1 car ever could and this is it. This is his fairytale. Lewis quickly loses himself in Nico, his sight, smell, and taste is full of him and all he can hear is the incessant beeping of Nico’s heart monitor-
Nico pulls away first, calming himself down before the nurses start to wonder what’s happening. Lewis looks at himself and realizes that he was sitting on Nico’s lap. He has no idea how he ended up on the bed.
“Hey” Nico whispers, voice hoarse from disuse. He smiles at Lewis like he’s hung the moon, like he’s the sun. And Lewis thinks it’s silly because Nico is the one that looks like a god.
“Does this mean I’m your boyfriend?” Nico wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and Lewis bursts out laughing. He bends down, kissing every inch of Nico’s face and he whispers yesyesyes.
In the fairytales, Lewis used to believe that the Prince saved Sleeping Beauty but then he fell in love with his rival and it's kind of silly but he realizes in their reality Sleeping Beauty saved the Prince.