Chapter Text
Bruce hadn't smiled. No matter what was happening there was no smile or smirk or a loud laugh coming from him. Edward would help him with his homework every day after school for months and all Bruce could do was have a blank expression painted on his face.
After school, as usual, Edward went over to Bruce's home to help him with homework and tell him what he had missed during the school day. They were crammed at Bruce's desk meant for one and Edward brought out a folder titled “Bruces Homework.”
“How do you still have all A’s if you're always at home?” Edward asked as he handed him a math worksheet.
“You just help me a lot I guess,” Bruce replied quietly as he started the math.
“I already did the math at lunch. It's kinda lonely without you, you know,” Edward commented.
“Sorry I just don't want to leave my room. It's just... Hard,” he replied while doing a question.
“I get that,” Edward awkwardly looked at him.
Man, I should like- Do something... Give him a pat on the back? A fistbump? A high-five? I want to see him smile. He looks- dead. Like a depressing vampire.
He scooted his chair closer and weirdly peeked over his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” Bruce asked, side-eyeing him.
“I- uh-” Edward hesitated, “I just wanted to... hm-” as a last resort he rested his head against Bruces. “I wanted to do that. Yeah.”
“God, you're weird,” the rich kid replied. Not in a mean-hearted way since he allowed it.
Edward wrapped an arm around him as well and he reluctantly snuggled with him. The poor boy looked at Bruce to see if maybe he cracked a smile. Nothing but a flustered face, unfortunately.
Edward also shot a look at the calendar that hung above the desk. It was November 30th.
Christmas. It's gonna be Christmas soon he has to smile about that. He's probably gonna get some cool shit as well because he's rich!
“Bruce, look,” he stood up to flip the calendar to December and smiled. “25 days away. That's like tomorrow!” He laughed.
Only a blank expression. Then he looked back down and his paper to mumble something.
“Bruce,” he sighed as he sat back down. “I just,” he paused realizing what he was about to say. “This sounds gay but I want to see you smile or be happy or something!”
He had just looked at him with another blank expression. Slowly he got up and belly-flopped into his bed.
“Aren't you happy that it's almost Christmas?” Eddie sat next to next to him. “C’mon, Bruce,” he frowned, “you can be happy.”
A soft whimper escaped from his mouth. Then a sniff and shaky breathing. He turned away from Eddie, facing the headboard.
“Bruce?” the boy slowly inched closer to him.
“I've been trying so hard,” he croaked out, wiping away his tears. “I've been trying so hard not to think about Christmas or to cry or to think at all Edward,” he admitted.
He rubbed Bruce's shoulder softly. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes. He hadn't seen Bruce break down ever since that night in October.
“Sorry about bringing it up... I just thought it would make you happy.”
Bruce sat back up and gently hugged him. “You being here is fine. You don't need to make me happy. I'm always happy around you,” he responded, still silently weeping.
They rested their foreheads together. They've had many moments like this, where their faces are inches apart. It always came with the feeling of butterflies or like the room was spinning. Edwards's hand reached to caress his face but Bruce lightly placed it back down.
“That would be gay, Edward,” he calmly told.
“Yeah, I guess you're right...”
There's a light knock at the door. They both separate before Alfred comes in with a tray of hot chocolate and cookies.
“How are you, boys?” he calmly asked as he places it down on the desk.
“We’re fine,” Ed responds as he takes off his glasses to clean the tears off.
Alfred smiles while looking at the disheveled-looking boys. “It's getting colder, Christmas is around the corner you know?” He chuckles.
The boys look at each other as they sip on the hot chocolate. “Yeah, we know...” Bruce replies.
“You should spend it with us, Eddie, I think Bruce would love the company.”
“I want to. Every year I've asked they said no.” Edward frowned.
“Well,” Alfred paused for a moment, “one phone call wouldn't hurt.” he ruffled the boy's hair as he hastily left the room.
Edward set his hot chocolate down as he grabbed two cookies and handed one to Bruce. He mumbled thanks.
“I doubt they will let me stay. I have to sing in the choir every year and we get stupid donations of used clothes it’s just gross,” Edward complains as he ate his cookie.
“But don’t you get to spend time with everyone? Like a family?”
“Nobody wants to spend time with me there,” he sulked as he leaned against braces forehead again. “You have hot chocolate in your mouth.” he pointed out.
“Oh-” Bruce wiped the wrong side.
“No right here idiot,” Eddie chuckled as he wiped it away with his sleeve.
Their faces only seemed to inch even closer. Suddenly they were breathing at the same rate and Bruce had pulled him closer.
There's a look in his eyes. A stupidity pretty one. Why are we so close? Are top lips are literally brushing against each other.
“I like this,” Bruce mumbled. “Your eyes look nice.”
They slowly swayed back and forth. As if they were both teasing each other.
“I don't want to spend Christmas alone, Eddie,” Bruce mumbled once again. Heated tears fell from his face onto their laps. “I miss my parents... So much,” he swallowed.
“I miss mine too Bruce and I don't even know them,” Edward chuckled as he looked at his fidgety, shaky hands.
“We can miss them together,” he continued to control his sobbing. “I think that sounds alright.”
They looked at each other’s lips for the millionth time. Then at the eyes of each other. Then lips again. An unspoken agreement was made right there.
They were like magnets.
But unfortunately, for the young boys, the two poles were the same.
When Bruce slowly started to lean in there were three loud and excited knocks at the door. Instinctively they both hastily pushed each other away as soon as Alfred walked in the door.
“After a lot of arguing with a nun, Edward can stay for the entirety of December,” he cheerfully announced.
Their heads shot to look towards each other. For the first time in a month, Bruce smiled. Bruce was happy. They embraced once more.
“I need to get someone to pick up your stuff Edward,” Alfred smiled as he left again.
The boys quietly hugged and smiled as they ate cookies and finished their hot chocolate. Edward was the first to break the sort of awkward silence.
“What were we about to do?” He questioned quietly.
“I think we were gonna kiss,” Bruce whispered back.
“We're not gay though right Bruce?”
“Yeah, we're not... I guess I just felt weird...” he replied.
There was an awkward beat of silence before Edward felt a quick peck on the cheek.
“B-Bruce?!” he flusteredly stuttered. Both of their entire faces went bright pink.
“I just wanted to see- I wanted to see if I would like it.”
“That's super gay!” Edward complained.
“Sorry... I'm such an idiot-” Bruce hid his face.
They both looked at their laps and continued to even more awkwardly eat cookies.
Edward pulled a hand down from Bruce's still flustered face. Their fingers naturally intertwined.
“We're not sinners. We’re best, best friends,” Edward calmly stated.
“Best Friends,” Bruce reassured him.
Why do I have to feel this way? Why can't I be normal? Please, God? God... God... Let me feel normal about Bruce. That is all I'm asking. I'm not a sinner. I'm not a sinner fit loving him. God...fuck you dude.