Chapter Text
Anthony was called for a private meeting at the parlour by Lady Danbury. He gathered his strength, he was going to tell the truth and get out of this mess. He wanted to get out of this mess as fast as he can and do everything in his power to win Kate.
Lady Danbury, Violet and Mary sat in the parlour, the tension on their faces was so pronounced that Anthony almost lost his determination. But then he remembered his goal. He may have ruined his life as well as those of who are dear to him, might as well finish this damned business and finally get what he want. Kate. The mere thought of her gave him enough strength to stand and face the mamas.
"Care to tell us about what has transpired earlier today boy?"
Lady Danbury asked as soon as Anthony finished greeting them, wasting no time.
"I..I had a panic attack, because of the bee, I have it since father was stung."
"Don't you remember mother, one time Hyacinth was stung I had a similar episode."
He continued as the mothers looked like they were not buying his theory.
"Hyacinth is your own little sister."
"And Kate is--" Anthony chimed in, breathless.
"What? As far as we are concerned she's to be your sister-in-law, or is there more to it that you want to tell us?"
Lady Danbury asked, her brows arched, like she was trying to dig out words from him.
"I'm in love with her! I love her!"
He yelled,on the top of his lungs, as if keeping that particular information to himself anymore would kill him.He paced right and left infront of them like a madman.His words echoed through the big country room.Tears were getting ready at the corner of his eyes.But when he gathered himself he looked at the mamas who collectively looked like having a heart attack and said;
"I have never loved anybody else more than I love her!"
"Oh Anthony!"
Violet couldn't help but run to him when tears started falling from his eyes.It was years since she had seen him cry.But today it was a plethora of tears for him. He was truly hurt she knew, some of her anger towards him came down seeing him like this.
"But why didn't you say anything before Anthony? I asked you many times? Why?"
"I was a coward, I was afraid of love so I ignored whatever feelings came my way, When Daphne asked me to confront my feelings I was so afraid, I thought maybe if I asked Miss Edwina for her hand the feelings for Kate would go away. But it only got stronger and stronger. When I wanted to end the engagement it was too late to do so without tarnishing Miss Edwina's reputation."
Anthony felt like a chunk of weight lifted from him. He had gone through all of this alone without talking to anyone.
"But at the Sheffield dinner you had every opportunity, but instead you moved the wedding forward and when I confronted you, you didn't utter so much as a word, why Anthony?"
"And these feelings and affections of yours towards Miss Sharma.. is she aware of them? Is it reciprocated? Lady Danbury chimed in.
" I..I haven't told her in many words that I love her,but it was implied in certain circumstances and she hadn't denied it either.I wanted to end the engagement..but Kate asked me to go on with the marriage, for Miss Edwina. She said what was between us was mere passion that would pass with time. But I think she was lying to me and herself."
"So you simply thought to carry on with this farce, to marry a woman while you had affections for her sister!?" Lady Danbury scoffed.
"I had to do it mother", he now looked at Violet, "for Kate, when she asked me to proceed I couldn't say no, not to her, I can't ever say no to her, I can't ever deny her anything, I would even give my life for her, she need only ask. But she never would. Because she never puts her first."
"So what's your plan Lord Bridgerton?"
"I want to cancel this doomed wedding and want to marry Kate."
"Your wedding is in four days, arranged by the Queen no less." Lady Danbury scoffed.
"I have long put my wants and needs aside in the name of duty and honour, it's what brought me into this mess in the first place."
"My darling, the scandal will be huge, are you willing to take the risk?" Violet asked.
"It's Kate or nobody for me mother! I'm willing to face anything that comes my way if it leads to Kate."
"My dear I will do everything in my power to support you, I'm more than sure your siblings will do the same. I'm glad that you found true love, even if the hard way. Your deserve it more than anyone."Violet smiled warmly at her first born.
Violet knew that her son's actions should be admonished.He was reckless and foolish. He had put the lives of two young women at stake. But even after all that she couldn't help but feel sorry for him,what ever he did was out of his fear of love, he cared too much for others that he had to make sure even his future wife didn't suffer. All Violet ever wanted for her children was to find love, especially Anthony, someone to care for him, put him first, be with him, share his burdens. He had denied all this for himself until now. But Violet was ready to forgive him if it meant her child was happy, because no one deserved it better than him.She also felt a pang of guilt grow inside her, whatever her son did she was also partly responsible. She left him to fend for himself and his siblings when he needed her the most. If she was more persistent in knowing his true feelings this situation may have been avoided. But there was no point now. What was done was done. But she was not going to watch him suffer anymore. She had failed him. Not anymore. Anthony has never asked anything of her, ever, of anybody. He just gave and gave. Now he wanted something. Kate. And she promised herself she would do anything for her son to have the woman he loved.
Anthony knew there was amends he should make, apologies to be offered and the sooner the better. He turned towards a very silent Lady Mary.Clearly it was a very difficult situation for her.
"Lady Mary, I know you must be angry with me and do not wish to see me, I can understand, but you have to know it was never my intention to cause your family so much agony. I know my actions can never be justified but I'm willing to make whatever amends in the future. I love Kate dearly, I should have admitted it sooner but I had to learn my lesson. Please do not hold it against me in the matters of Kate. I want to marry her, make her my wife, my Viscountess. I hope in time you will forgive me and give me your blessings." Anthony said, looking at a fixed point on the opposite wall, not able to look Lady Mary in the eye.
She was upset, obviously, but she smiled eventually.
"Lord Bridgerton, you have wronged my daughters, it may take sometime for that wound to heal, for me and Edwina,and I dare say for Kate too. But I think I can understand you, you mirror Kate exactly. The fate of an eldest sibling I guess, but surely I'm touched by what you said about her,your feelings for her. I feel so sad for her, to sacrifice everything for us.She deserves someone who can give her the whole world. She has never put her first, ever.It's my fault, I was absent for far too long. So I cannot entirely blame you only. I hope you will give her everything she denied herself all these years."
Anthony's happiness had reached peak when he left the parlour. He had his mother's support and his siblings would do the same for sure, that was enough for him. Now the greatest task was to confront Kate and declare his feelings,to convince her,to beg her not to leave him.He felt a sudden urge to see her.He tried to fight it but he was very weak when it came to Kate.Just a look, nothing more,he promised himself. He went straight to the guest bedrooms. The door to Kate's and Edwina's room was slightly open. He peered through the door,there she was, sitting on her bed in a white night gown hair all loose, with Newton in her lap, running her hand through Newton's head( he had never been more jealous of the dog), she was conversing and smiling with Daphne. His heart flinched at the site of her smile. He wanted to rush through the door and take her in his arms and kiss her. But now it was better to enjoy her from a distance. "I will win your heart Kate, I will make you mine, I will put that smile on your lips forever" he promised to himself as he finally took one look and walked away.
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Anthony Bridgerton thought it was wise to stay away from Kate for a while. Surely the news of the cancelled nuptials would soon be out. But if the ton were to find out that Lord Anthony Bridgerton was sniffing around his ex-fiance's sister the next day would make the scandal even more hard to control. Surely Aubrey hall was safe, but the servants may talk. That's why he thought it was prudent to stay away from her. It was prudent but it was difficult, it was becoming more and more difficult.Also after a night of somewhat fair sleep after weeks he finally came to understand certain things, that he had never said the words to her,that he loved her. He could not keep her in the dark anymore about his feelings for her. He needed to tell her. He needed to tell her right now.
But to see her was impossible in this situation. Surely if someone could help him it was his mother. So he dressed early and waited for her in the breakfast room.
"Mother, I need your help for an urgent thing!"
He said hurriedly as soon as Violet entered the breakfast room.
"Good morning to you too Anthony." she smiled.
"Good morning,mother, sorry I was--"
"--a little preoccupied?" Violet teased.
Even with all the mess he had created,she found it amusing to tease a lovesick Anthony. It reminded her of the moments when he was just a teenage boy.
"Sorry darling, tell me what it is you want." She leaned closer to him smiling warmly.
"Mother, I..I would..I would like to speak with Kate, I need to speak with Kate, I know it is too much to ask given everything I've done and the circumstances,but I need to see her, tell her my true feelings, I can't even wait a second without her knowing that I love her."
Violet opened her mouth to say something but she couldn't, she was amused at the man Anthony had become. He was not perfect, he was far from perfect. But a man genuinely fighting for his feelings was something. Especially the man who said his feelings were of no concern just a few days back.She gave him a reassuring nod.
"I will see to it my darling, do not worry, I will see to it."
Anthony didn't attend breakfast because he was not ready to answer the thousand questions of his siblings.He took his breakfast in his study, pretending to go through ledgers and accounts while in reality his mind was occupied as to what he will tell Kate when he get to see her. Kate didn't care for big words or grand gestures, but lousy words also won't do.His thoughts were put to a stop when the door opened to reveal Violet.He looked up eagerly.
"Anthony, Kate is still tired, so she'll be spending her day in her room only."
Violet said, noticing the sudden wave of disappointment that came over her son's face.She walked over to his side, placed a hand on his shoulder, leaned in.
"But I've arranged a meeting for you two, in her chamber, Daphne will assist if you want to take a chaperone, but us mamas won't be meddling."
Anthony's face lit up like the sun, but it dimmed suddenly.
"But mother, the maids and servants and Edwina? I have to formally apologise to her but I don't have the strength for it just about now. I just want to see Kate and ask her to put me out of my misery. I can only face everybody else after that."
His voice was so soft, like a sweet little boy.
"Darling, I've talked to Lady Mary, she will deal with Edwina and will keep her away while you see Kate. As for the servants they are Bridgerton servants, they are ever faithful to us unlike other family servants.They'll never talk. But for your peace I have asked Mrs Wilson to instruct the maids to not come to the premises. She'll see to that. You go and tell her how you feel, in all honesty. No one will disturb you or make a scandal out of it.That's your mother's word for it."
Violet affectionately caressed his hair as she saw a smile starting to form on his lips.
Anthony had a servant collect tulips from their garden at Aubrey hall for Kate. He wasted no time and walked to the chambers. He found Mrs wilson and Daphne waiting in the corridor. He greeted Mrs Wilson with so much thankfulness and turned to Daphne.
"Daph"
"Brother, I'll be just here in the corridors, making sure no one else comes this way. Don't worry. Take your time and don't hesitate to tell her how you feel. This is your chance, utilise it wisely."
"Do you think I have a chance? That she'll forgive me for all the things I have put her through? Most importantly will she accept my feelings?"
"Brother, I would be lying if I said that she isn't hurt, she is. But you have to try, you have to tell her everything, everything you said to me, she deserves to hear it from your mouth. And then maybe she'll accept you or have your head, knowing Kate the second one has more chance."
Daphne said with a wide grin trying to ease her brother from all the tension. Anthony smiled.
"Yes the Kate I know would do the same too!"
He laughed. Remembering all the times she bested him. Oh how he missed that playful Kate.
"Be honest with your feelings brother! Everything else will fall into place."
"Thanks Daph! I truly appreciate everything you do for me even when I was an ass to you last year."
"You are my eldest brother, and nothing short of a father in affection, I know you were not the very picture of grace last year but it was your first time, and I thought we were all past that. Do not beat yourselves for it.You are the best brother we could ever hope for. Everything I'm doing is for you to find love and happiness. I'm a Bridgerton and we stand with our family no matter what.You taught me that. Family above all else."
Anthony couldn't help but beam at the young girl that stood infront of him, surely she was not so young anymore, she was a Duchess, a wife and a mother.And she was there for him and Kate from the first moment. He had such amazing women in his life and if God helped him the list was going to increase, just by one.
He smiled at her warmly and walked towards Kate's chamber.He came to stand outside of it. He felt his knees weakening. He peered through the small gap between the door, he straightened when he saw Kate on the bed reading,dressed in a purple gown, her hair mostly down.He raised his hand to knock on the door.
"Come in."