Chapter Text
Jihan woke to his beloved cradling him close against his chest, pressing warm lips against the side of his neck that he gladly bared for his beloved’s touch. Lucien, his light, his saviour, his knight in shining armour.
He loved him so much, the world didn’t even know.
“Jihan?”
He hummed inquisitively.
“Can I take a photo of you?”
In a single breath, Lucien, his light, his saviour, his knight in shining armour had stripped away what Jihan thought was his. He didn’t understand. He forced himself to nod appeasingly, voicing words he couldn’t feel. His mind raced, trying to come up with something, anything he had done to garner this response.
There were too many. Jihan hadn’t cleaned the shelves in a while. He hadn’t polished Lucien’s shoes, but that was because Lucien said he didn’t have to but he should have known. He should have known it was a test of his diligence, instead of blindly obeying his master. He should have known.
He watched as Lucien clambered out of bed eagerly, so eagerly - he must be tired of such a useless slave. He must be ecstatic to finally be rid of Jihan’s inadequacy.
He raised his shoulders, and let his arms fall. He loved Lucien. He felt his eyes water. What did he do wrong? He held his tears in. No one liked crying slaves.
Again, because his master was kind, too kind, he noticed and immediately set down the camera, rushing to console Jihan and Jihan thought, his master must still love him. His master must still love him enough to give him one, just one more chance. He’d swear never to commit his sins again, he’d swear to be better, to serve his master if he could just-
He dived to his knees, hands clamouring for his master’s breeches.
He begged. He didn’t know what he was saying, but he begged. He prayed his master still loved him enough to listen.
His master guided him forth. Jihan followed, because he would do anything, anything to still be kept. To still be loved.
“I won’t send you away, my love,” Lucien whispered, pressing Jihan into a warm embrace and Jihan could finally breathe. His master wasn’t sending him away. He could still fix this.
His master’s hand cupped the back of his neck gently, smoothing the tangled curls with tender fingers. "I won't. You're safe here, with me, and you don’t have to do anything more to stay here. Because I love you."
Jihan had heard this before, and yet.
“I love you,” His master pulled away to look at him with firm bronze eyes. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, but Master-”
“Lucien,” Lucien corrected gently.
Jihan took a shuddering breath. “Lucien.” He was still allowed this, calling his beloved’s name. “What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” Lucien answered, and Jihan could not believe him. “You did nothing wrong. Why would you think that you did?”
“But you- I- I don’t mean to disrespect, but-” Jihan frowned, chewing his bottom lip nervously. “You asked for a photo.”
Lucien blinked. “Yes?” He sounded confused.
Did he… not know?
"Back in the camp, when the enforcers asked for our photos," He had to fight the instinctive flinch at the mention of the enforcers, even if it was from his own mouth. "It meant that we were to be sold."
Jihan didn’t dare stare directly into Lucien’s eyes.
"I'm so sorry, love," Lucien sounded stricken with grief, and Jihan couldn’t understand why.
"Why?"
"Because I scared you," Lucien replied, as if that was any reason to be guilty at all. Thousands of people had done more than just scare Jihan and none of them had felt the need to be any gentler with him. Lucien didn’t ever have to be sorry to Jihan, if he could help it.
"That's not your fault,” Jihan leaned forward ever so slightly. “I just don't understand why you needed a photo if you weren't getting tired of me."
"Never," Lucien said firmly, and Jihan believed him again. "I wanted to take a photo, because you're beautiful when you wake up. I wanted to keep that picture of you in case someone, anyone finds this little hut in the future." He looked down, blushing a light red. "For our children, maybe."
Jihan stared at his beloved. “Lucien.”
"I know, I know," Lucien scrubbed his face, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry. I won't ever take a photo of you again."
"You don't have to do that-"
"Yes," Lucien looked up at Jihan resolutely. "I do."
Jihan pushed himself forward, letting Lucien’s arms wrap him up in one smooth motion, tucking himself once more by his beloved’s shoulder.
"I love you, Jihan."
"Lucien," Jihan said his beloved’s name, the third time. "I love you, too."