Princess and the Toad (Pansy/Neville)
Paneville, Panville, Nansy, Parkbottom, Longinson, whatever you wanna call it. I call it Princess and the Toad.
Pansy: Sharp and blunt, all at once. Fiercely invested in friendship. Fearless when it comes to her own wellbeing; full of anxiety for everyone she loves. Outer beauty so glam it almost distracts everyone from how gorgeously she glows within. Almost.
Neville: Rumor has it Gryffindor house might be renamed Longbottom. A green thumb in the garden and a green flag in the sheets. Drawn to the garden’s pricklier, poisonous plants. A source of safety and security for Pansy and those he loves; a bloody nightmare for anyone else.
Usually with a side of Dramione.
(Open, Moderated)
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Summary
Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.
After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.
Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.
Series
- Part 2 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
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Summary
After her father died in the Battle of Hogwarts, Pansy Parkinson believed she was free. Three months before her twenty-fourth birthday, however, her guardian is found and invokes her ancient family rites to issue an ultimatum. Forced to choose between the loss of any autonomy or of her magic itself, she has exactly one loophole.
Marriage to Neville Longbottom.
But as she grows to know her new husband, she realizes that he's nothing like the boy she used to bully in school. Unfortunately, some wizards will stop at nothing for revenge and Pansy has to decide how much she can ask of the man she convinced to marry her.
Series
- Part 2 of The Rite
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Summary
“I can’t believe you put your ring in,” she accused under her breath. “I thought you and Potter were together!”
“Harry’s the best,” Theo told her in an excited undertone. “He’s also unexpectedly extremely possessive; Pans, it’s so hot.” He whined and she tsked. “He told me to come back smelling like someone else’s cologne so that’s what I intend to do. I really, really can’t wait.”
“Don’t be vulgar.” Draco had charmed the bowl to divide the rings into pairs and she didn’t have the head on her for a proper dressing down of Theo’s oversharing.
She forced herself not to be hopeful but despite her relentless will against it, felt the flicker of it just behind her heart as Draco began rattling off names.
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Or, Purebloods have a fun tradition with their signet rings.
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES