I wanted to show the meeting through Shivers eyes in this chapter. There was only so much i could show when it was Dusks perspective. For Shiver Dusk is already scary just with the way he looks and carries himself. I'm glad you like the full detailed discription of Dusks outfit. I wanted it be vivid and make you really picture how he looked. He has a very big intimidating presence and your right Shiver could never escape the fact that he's actually there. He really wants to.
The fact that Dusk looks so angry and intimidating is triggering his trauma even worse. Thoughts that loop. Shiver is just desperatly trying to find a way to cope.Shiver telling himself “you’re safe if you hide” was heartbreaking because you can feel how badly he wants to believe that. It almost reads like something he has told himself over and over again in the past. That quill detail was especially brutal. The difference between cutting and pulling made it very specific, very physical, and it showed that Shiver has history with this kind of cruelty. That grounded his fear in something real rather than vague threats. Your absolutely right he has experienced this type of cruelty before there's this fear in him that it could happen again if he isn't carefull. His experience that pirates are worse when they are angry is part of what triggered this memory. Dusk is in a very bad mood. He already looks scary. It doesn't help that the way carries himself is meant to intimidate people. Unfortunately it works very well on Shiver who gets scared easily.
The scenes with the binoculairs. There's this question if Dusk had seen him at that point. If checking again was really the best idea. Perhaps Dusk really hadn't seen him yet. Shiver needed that reassurance though. I'm really glad this part landed so well for you. You already knew what was going to happen, what Dusk was about to do. It all happened really fast for Dusk though. For Shiver it felt like an eternity. Where he's scared and like you said he keeps repeating that he still had time to hide to try and convince himself. A moment of confusion when the pirate is gone only to appear right in front of him before he realizes what's going on. To stuck in his fear and panic. That felt like nightmare logic breaking into reality, and it made the whole encounter that much scarier. I like the way you fraise that it felt like a nightmare breaking into reality that is exactly how it feels for Shiver. He just desperatly hopes it's just a nightmare he can wake up from.
You put it really well in this comment. I wanted to show exactly how this is paralyzing but terrifying at the same time. Knowing what he needs to do. Yet he can't and that makes his panic even worse. It's a reflex the way his body responds to the danger and for Shiver it's very distressing. Made worse when his panic makes it more difficult to breathe. His body is just shutting down at this point due to all the stress and that's very painfull. His mind is slipping. There's no way for him to be able to think clearly anymore at that point. He's drowning in his panic unable to break free from it.
If Shiver wasn't already in such a panic he didn't realize Dusk was gone. The words Dusk spoke never reached him fully just as Dusk never really heard what Shiver was wimpering. If he did maybe he would have responded differently. The fact that Shiver did not even realize the pirate had left him was another strong moment. It showed how far gone he was, how trapped inside his own fear he had become. He could not even register the world shifting around him because the panic was still too loud. The effect Dusk had on Shiver was pretty bad. For Dusk it was meant to be a little scare. To keep this pirate as he believes Shiver is a pirate at a distance. So he wouldn't try anything. He has no idea how this effected Shiver. No idea that who he saw wasn't a pirate. Just as much as Shiver doesn't realize Dusk isn't a pirate. The panic attack was so bad that Shiver shut down completely passing out. Your right it was the only possible conclussion after how much relentless panic he experienced. Dusk wasn't that nice but Shivers already panicked mind made things seem even worse. He just meant to scare Shiver. Not to the extend that he would actually pass out. Let's hope Dusk will be nicer towards Shiver.
The moments that stayed with me the most were the specific memory of quills being pulled, the binoculars nearly slipping when their eyes met, and the drowning confusion that blurred everything near the end. I'm glad this stuck with you so much. Thank you for reading and feeling for Shiver. For this wonderfull comment. I always try my best to answer your comments. I hope i will be able to continue to make you feel what Shiver and Dusk are experiencing in this story. The next chapter that will come out will probably be for Dusk and Celeste's story. Which i hope you will enjoy aswell. Thank you for your comment, for all the time and care you put into writing it. I can't express with words how much i apreciate each and every comment you write. I can't wait to show you what happens next.
Comment on When the world you live in is the thing you fear most
Arya12 on Chapter 21 Mon 29 Sep 2025 07:33PM UTC
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