I will say there are a couple of moments where it feels like some action is missing between scenes/dialogue. for example, right at the beginning of the chapter:
Her legs wobbled as she found herself on solid ground again, breathing with intent until her mouth ceased to taste bitter.
„Hey Pomni,“ oh no. „How did you sleep?“ Ragatha asked kindly. Pomni turned to look at her, shoulders tense. The other woman was smiling radiantly at her, clasping her hands in front of her politely. She looked plain adorable.
the way this is written, I initially thought Pomni was still in her bedroom and Ragatha was revealed to be there with her. the next paragraphs indicate that the rest of the cast is around and Caine is explaining the day's adventure, but without a line break or a written transition to that scene, it took a couple of rereads to figure out what was happening.
anyway! I like getting to see Pomni struggling with how to bring up what happened. and Ragatha being prompted to be honest!! their conversation after grabbing the gummi bats is really sweet and genuine; it gives me hope they can continue to grow closer💕
one thing I wish we got to see them discuss is what actually did happen after Pomni fell asleep. did Ragatha carry her somewhere? did Caine teleport her straight back to her room when the adventure ended? did anyone else see her sleeping on/with Ragatha -- if so it's curious that no one said anything. so many thoughts to explore ^^
the little nose kiss is so sweet! now they're even 🤭 though hopefully with more to come in the future since they're both fully conscious this time and seem to be opening up to discussing their feelings with one another. ;p I can't stop imagining the peck being planted on Ragatha's little triangle nose -- how incredulous and flustered she must look. so cute 🥰
also "green apple dragon who excretes caramel as an allergic reaction" was not on my bingo card but I'm glad they're here xD
I'm now getting sleepy as I type, and starting to ramble, but thank you again for sharing your work💕
Comment on Beachtown Baggage
Renée Prower (ReneePrower) on Chapter 2 Tue 07 Oct 2025 04:40AM UTC
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