“But you have to tell us if you’re hurting” I just mildly sobbed. No crying yet. Yeah, he needs to talk about the way he’s freakin hurting inside, not because of a bruise that he got from Bakugou but because of the stuff that’s going on inside his brain.
Both Momo and Tokiya worry about him and he’s apologizing and ugh. Yep, he’s definitely apologizing for more than he lets on because he’s completely guilt tripped and drenched with regret. But of course he can’t say that he’s sorry for leaving or anything, no, just a total normal ‘sorry’. Oh boi, this is gonna be slow ride, won’t it?
“So are you gay?” this kid will be the death of me, I love this xD Momo’s blushing of course, she’s on the best way to super damn much fall for him all over again, period. (yeah, I know, there’s a lot to come and it’s not that easy, but still xD) She’s happy, she’s so happy and probably also relieved that Shouto likes Tokiya. I’m happy too.
“And then Shouto feels the crushing gravity of having left his own child.” (theory incoming) He’s gonna be devastated when Momo admits to him being the father, won’t he? I mean, his father was a pretty shitty father, and I’m sure he never would’ve wanted to be the same, and if he left his child all alone from the start, wouldn’t he have made the same terrible mistakes in a different way, making himself just like his father? I really hope that theory isn’t true, even though I secretly hope it is. I can feel angst incoming. Or resolves to somehow make the best out of it. Maybe a bit of both?
Okay, so Momo doesn’t want to force it on him, I get that. But…*sigh*
Time for the letter.
!! “and that my tears would deny the entire reason for our break-up.” Okay, here we go. I need to know. What was the reason?! Welp. I needed to pause for a second there. I think I got it. And you were very, very close to getting me to cry, but no, I won’t.
(theory incoming)
So it was that she wasn’t holding onto him tighter because of her self-esteem issues. He was trying to make her believe in herself, but she just couldn’t. Because she hated herself. And it only got worse because she couldn’t hold on because she was hating herself. I can see a huge issue here as well that definitely needs to be addressed again…I mean…We still don’t know how exactly the break up happened, but I think I’m slowly getting a gist of it. I’ll wait for more solid theories, though.
“but I knew that even though my body had triggered those tears, they were actually shed for you.” They were shed *for* him? Because she hates herself for not holding onto him and that leading to their break-up? Because she misses him? Because she wants him back? Because she regrets every single moment that led to this? And she feels like her baby is crying for his father – and she wants him to come home. So…the reason she also never contacted him was because she was so caught up on the thought that the whole break-up was her fault that she somehow stopped losing the possibility that he’d actually still love her? I mean…she never sent those letters. So she doesn’t dare say that she wants him to come back, even though it’s all her heart tells her to do. She let him go, even though she should’ve held on, yet she couldn’t hold on because she wasn’t confident enough, letting their relationship fall apart which only made matters even worse?
Bloody heck, I live for this and this was such a freakin close call to crying, I’m so sorry if I turned into rambling-nonsense mode in the end, my hands were shaking hardcore. (I apologize for borderline swearing as well)
This story is beautiful. This chapter was beautiful. I feel like I leaned very far out of the window this time, but I still hope you enjoyed reading my comment.
You’re doing amazing things with this, Lo, you’re doing amazing things.
He sure does need to talk about his guilt and pain, but there'll be a bit before he can openly do that. I'm sorry for torturing you with this slow pace but lmao all of my works are slow-burns.
Momo sure is delighted that shouto likes his son and yes, Tokiya is gonna the end of all of us, he's way too pure and he's just an all around cinnamon roll!
Omg you're so point on cause yes that's what shouto would feel. He'd feel like he failed at being a fate before he even had a chance and the parallels with his own childhood and Enji are real. Lowkey angsty but it's mostly a hurt/comfort ride:)
Momo's self confidence is definitely playing a role, and after shouto left that just dropped vertiginously because well. There was no longer someone to tell her she was worth it and se kept second doubting herself.
You're close, but Momo never doubted his love for her. She knows just how important they are to each other, so she never worried he might not love her while they were together. The reason she never contacted him was because she felt she'd be dragging him down. That she's be an "obligation", like she told Kyouka.
Nooo, don't apologize at all! I'm glad I managed to get such a strong reaponse oit of you, but I hope you weren't uncomfortable cause that's the last thing I want!! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I'm so sndjenjdenkdnekd I love analysis to much, as you can tell!!
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shenanigansam on Chapter 3 Sat 22 Dec 2018 02:03PM UTC
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ionica01 on Chapter 3 Tue 01 Jan 2019 08:20PM UTC
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