When I see that a story has been co-written by Pond_Melody and snovyda I gotta brace myself because each of you are tremendous, literary forces of nature that have come together to create something that'll sweep me off my feet. And oh, I've been swept away, all right!
The first paragraph was so descriptive and elegant. I could practically feel my own strength sap away as Benji struggled in the cold. I felt his confusion, panic, and fear for Ethan. You guys also do dialogue soooo well! Like your descriptors, each word spoken by a character pulls the story onward with great significance. And the amazing use of "show, not tell" WITHIN the dialogue oh man!! As I discovered more and more details about the accident they had, it was like watching a movie. You both managed to paint such a vivid picture for every single scene. And I am in love with Jane's boundless heart. She is truly my guide into this story, saying exactly what I wanted to say and expressing everything I was feeling inside. Speaking of expressing emotions, can I just say how phenomenal ETHAN'S emotional breakdowns were??? I'm soooo glad Benji's death isn't permanent but I'm also LOVING the fact that we were able to get Ethan's reaction to a potential death scenario. SO. MANY. TIMES. It's absolutely heartbreaking and beautiful the way they tear themselves down (both Ethan and Benji) when the other person is in danger.
This honestly has so many of my favourite tropes though, I literally can't. Circumstances arising from harsh elements (the contrast you've made between the freezing ice of snow and the warmth of hypothermia, but Benji welcomes the fatality like a heated blanket; much like how the snow blankets him), accidents, GUILT from one person who thinks the accident is their fault ("but he has no one and nothing to blame but himself. This is his fault. He got Benji killed. He killed his Benji." [SCREAMS]), self-resentment, SOFTNESS (are you kidding me with the Soft Ness!!! It melts my heart because I know it happened, but then it takes the melted puddle and INCINERATES IT because it's a thing of the past and Ethan thinks it will forever stay that way. OH NO.)
And also thank Luther a million times for being there for Ethan, goodness. The poor boy is a wreck (as am I) and if he wasn't there to help him up (figuratively and literally), I'm not sure if Ethan would've been able to get past his devastation. This is truly the worst thing that's ever happened to him. But of course, the worst things for him never involve injury upon himself, but upon those he loves the most. And to see Benji teetering so precariously upon the precipice of life and death before his very eyes, well, I'm sure a large chunk of Ethan's heart died with every second Benji failed to breathe.
This chapter was such an emotional ride. It blows my mind how brilliantly you two have managed to co-write something so seamlessly and magnificently. Ethan's love and terror for Benji's life bleeds off every paragraph and is injected straight into my chest. Yes; words can really do that, I discovered, as I read more and more of both your writing. Thank you for sharing this, guys. I eagerly look forward to the next chapter, which I'm sure will arrive once both of you have had enough time and inspiration to finish it! ^^ <3 <3
I wanted to wait until I could read this review without feeling positively giddy, at least enough to form some coherent sentences, before I replied to it. I don’t think that’s going to happen, so all I can say is that this comment. Is. Everything.
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Jartiel on Chapter 1 Sun 03 Mar 2019 06:59AM UTC
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Pond_Melody on Chapter 1 Sun 12 May 2019 07:41PM UTC
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