Comment 217425116 on In Times Of War - Bluemeany - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine | Archive of Our Own

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Comment on In Times Of War

AlphaCygni on Chapter 13 Tue 26 Mar 2019 03:08AM UTC

I took this afternoon to sit down and re-read, A-to-Z, to get the full effect. Your revisions of the earlier chapters were wonderful: it was a different experience reading back through! It felt steadier and maybe more...thoughtful/emotional? but also very, very much still your voice. Your work was definitely not in vain! CONGRATS!
And this chapter was a lovely capstone. I love the call back to the first scene and the echoes of a Garak who is still very much the old Garak but just a smidge better for all of it. And I know I've said it before but ye gods, you write action so well. A good blend of more cinematic forms with traditional prose. I am green.
And the "Daughters of Garak"--yes, I am here for it.
Thank you for this! It's been a joy!

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1. Bluemeany on Chapter 13 Tue 26 Mar 2019 10:59AM UTC
  
  Thanks alphacygni. It was definitely the pov shifts that were the issue wasn’t it? Once I fixed most of them, plus added in a few internal reactions/ internal thoughts like you told me to it all worked a lot better, so thanks😊
  
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2. 1. AlphaCygni on Chapter 13 Tue 26 Mar 2019 12:52PM UTC
    
    It was all you. You took something already marvelous and put it over the top.
    Also, I was thinking after I commented...another great thing about this fic is that it has something to say. It's exciting and it's garashir and all that, but at the end, it's also a thoughtful look at a number of things, including idealism--how it ages but also how it's necessary (just as necessary as, say, Garak's aggressive realism/pragmatism). Idealism and hope, like love, are choices that require some courage to choose, especially the older one gets.
    Yeah, in other words, well done writing a thriller that managed to pull off a theme as well. Fine line, you walked it!
    
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  2. 1. Bluemeany on Chapter 13 Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:26PM UTC
      
      Yeah:-) I think turning thirty may have sparked an mini 'OMG aging!idealism!' conflict in me, lol. Certainly, aging Garak with the groaning in back pain is because I threw my back out while running for the first time ever the other month.
      
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