Comment on Parallax

  1. New to the archive here. I joined up after these amazing fics just kept coming and coming. Love this story so much. Your writing is so smooth and the story is brilliant. I love how you brought Aoda into the fic. His antics and his disappointment at not being able to eat Bakakshi is hilarious. The conversation between Tsunade, Aoda and Kakashi was my favorite bit in this. Sasuke is a dynamic character in writing. Im glad Amaterasu has him out looking for Itachi. The bros need each other.

    Comment Actions
    1. We! Stan! One! Repressed! Sibling! Relationship!
      Welcome to the archive! I heard that it's been taking a while to get invites, but I'm glad you've arrived!
      Thank you so much! I've really tried hard on making my writing feel more fluid when you're reading it, generally, I play around with repeated sounds or tongue movements to give that illusion. Some of my lines have a different twist to them if you actually verbalize them, just another fun teaser! It's difficult because my writing style is....unique? You could say? heh, it's tricky to learn how to do it better when you dont know anyone else writing like you!

      Comment Actions
      1. Thanks for that tip. Now Im even more excited. Going to be reading this again out loud this time though. No writer writes the same, its what makes readers anticipate budding artists.

        Comment Actions
        1. Oh I'm delighted to hear that!!
          AO3 is currently having some difficulties due to server status- they're doing some repairs in the coding so the email alerts are heading out pretty slow! Normally the server is much faster, so if you can get through this you'll be set for anything!
          Aww, thank you so much. I've been working on getting some of my original writing published! So far I've been rejected a fair bit, but I never let it keep me down!
          Post of the poetic portions, particularly those that have unique prose are intended for slow out loud reading.
          "The skin on his face and scalp were soft and told him his hands were now rough where they once had been nimble. When his clothes constricted and broke from stress Sasuke felt he did not grow bigger, but older and by growing older he felt smaller.
          This is an example where the meaning changes based on the lack of comma use. The repeated sounds in the first line make your tongue get tired by the end of the sentence if you read it with standard speed and without pause. Mostly the repeated "s" and "b,p" movement. The second sentence has repeated words so when you say them it feels odd and unnatural, which plays into the meaning of the sentence.
          I'll show you another example. This time, you can try reading it out loud and try and figure out the little tricks I wove in!
          "Sasuke departed and walked on lichen and rock beyond the outskirts of the village. A world of uneven ground, of treeless hills and dew-damp violets. Mist-filled hollows and waterlogged cracks where pale yellowed femurs protruded like spears thrust into the earth. The grey endless sky gave hazy light that drew the silhouetted dark shape of horizon hills. Rolling on for miles, emerald green and blue tone flora scratched the ground as far as the Sharingan could see. The honey-heather and raspy blackcurrants embroidered themselves into the slate and rock. Peat bubbled a fetid stench from bog burrows."

          Comment Actions
          1. Yeah I noticed the delay. Small price to connect on this platform. I tend to sink into stories and allow the feel of each emotion in the sentence flow over me. Impossible to put into words but I know what I love about it. That paragraph read again left me breathless. Your description made me feel like I was floating over the landscape.

            Comment Actions