Comment on The Emissary

  1. Mildflower on Chapter 2 Fri 04 Jun 2021 03:48AM UTC

    Thank you so, so much for this lovely comment! This absolutely made my day, I'm so glad you were excited for an update. That means so much to me as a writer! (And that the original post has, someone, blown up enough to be sent to people?? Talked about??? Oh my gosh)

    First of all: I'm so glad I managed to humanize the NPCs. I really tried to hammer home that every NPC/member of the town is their own person with their own place in the world, their own relationships and histories, and their own mixed feelings about both--down to the style I wrote their separate POVs in. It was such a delight trying to imagine the different thought processes each character would go through, and then trying to capture that in writing.

    Second of all- I cannot believe you spotted the Cassandra parallels???? Specifically in the Guide, and how he's constantly accused of lying. I set up a bunch of parallels between the Arms Dealer and the Guide throughout the chapter (both characters who take pride in their marksmanship, both got injured in two consecutive scenes, etc.) and then a bunch more between both of them and everyone's favourite fridged prophet archetype, but I wasn't sure if I managed to make the connections hit home. I tip my hat to you, my good dude. You have a really good eye. That insight is nuts.

    (And you're right! Seeing everyone's interpretations of the Guide and the world they live in is just great. It's so interesting when people develop their own lore behind the his connection to the Wall of Flesh, for the NPCs and the different species they seem to belong to, but especially for how they interpret the player/hero role. Is the hero part of a prophecy, and that's why they're a hero? Are they just some rando with OP powers who takes it upon themselves to become one? Did they wake up in the forest with no memory of their past life, or did they have a past life at all? Just as fascinating as seeing the NPCs developed, imho)

    On the flashbacks: You put the way I was hoping they would come across into words better than I ever could. I was super hesitant about using the flashbacks since they get a lot of flak as a literary device, but I decided to take the plunge and structure the story around them anyways. I was hoping they'd add more depth to the characters and setting, make the way they're/the world's behaving in the present moment more impactful- and I'm glad it did! (As for the Guide clearing things up with the Hero: I promise I won't drag their conflict out too long! They're going to need each other soon)

    Gosh I'm so sorry for rambling about my story like this haha. And for this comment sounding a bit disjointed, I rushed putting this all down. Please never apologize for leaving long comments under fics. You are the commenter every author wish they had.

    Thank you so much again for taking the time to write all of that out. I really appreciate the feedback, since it's super difficult to imagine how you've conveyed a small fraction of the world you have in your head to a reader. Honestly you made me re-think how I characterized the Guide, in a good way. Have a wonderful day/night :D

    (By the way- are you the same Ariibees behind the Purity Town comic? Because I'm a big fan.)

    Last Edited Fri 04 Jun 2021 03:49AM UTC

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    1. Ariibees on Chapter 2 Tue 08 Jun 2021 07:51AM UTC

      Sorry it took so long to reply! I've been non-stop busy for these past few days. In any case-

      In and out of various character's POVs, there are so many little things that jump out that just- are so neat at showing character's personalities and thought processes. Like that little throwaway comment about the Guide's cape design from (presumably) the dye trader, and the sort of holdover from the name conversation in chapter one in regards to how the Guide has a human name but still only ever refers to himself in his head as his title, and his consistent denial of his feelings as he categorizes them in ways that are much easier for himself to stomach. Plus the tiny details that just make everything feel so much richer, like the Guide angrily having petunia in his tea in chapter one, or the Angler carving rough pictures into his fishing rod. Or, the things that allude to bigger worldbuilding details- the horrifying descriptions of how healing potions can ruin the body in chapter two, comments about towns and cities characters have lived in, the places that the Nurse has worked/studied at, and so on.

      You really did an incredible job at differentiating each of the characters' thought processes and personalities, and each POV has a very strong voice (not only the POVs, but the character dialogue too -- everyone is very distinguishable in their tone and choice of words). (Really, all the characters as presented here are very likeable narrators, and the dynamics between them are so, so fulfilling to read -- literally every character interaction is rich and fun and the characters are so enjoyable. Especially the Hero, honestly; they're so conflicted and trying their best, and the scenes with them considering what they know about him and at what point do they press and force him to tell them what's going on -- the flashbacks both to the earlier time and right after the Guide's resurrection in particular -- are so good.)

      And it's so neat that the Cassandra parallels were intentional! I will have to admit though that I didn't pick up on the parallels between the Arms Dealer and Guide on my first read -- I was too caught up in "wow the Arms Dealer has funny prophetic powers! So cool! Wow and the Guide is doing a thing too! How fun!" to really connect them intentionally, but it's so much more clear now that I'm looking for it, and I really like that they are stacked up against each other as they are, especially since the Arms Dealer is such a spearhead of conflict against the Guide in chapter one and is generally so distrustful of him.

      As for character interpretations -- firstly, interpreting the different species of the NPCs is honestly a joy; there's so much potential for worldbuilding, plus the fun of designing cultures and so on. Makes ya think! And I do agree about writing the hero -- so little is outright given on that front, so there's endless room for interpretation. I'm consistently impressed by this fandom for consistently coming up with unique takes on the story and world.

      And I think that the flashbacks were done really well in this case! Rereading again, I'm picking up on more stuff in them that really went over my head the first time (in defense, I was reading while getting ready for work) like the Guide's comment early on about not giving help freely in that first flashback vs. his conversation with the Angler later on. (And on a similar thread, once again- sneaking in such depth in the little comments! Like the Guide being uncomfortable with the Hero insisting on treating his wounds/being so close while he's injured as a holdover from how it was in the Underworld. Likewise, the Guide realizing that the Arms Dealer has been wounded and automatically falling into the thought process of "My enemy has been crippled and is now less of a threat!" to something more human despite his general callous attitude is just great.)

      I do think it helps that the flashbacks feel naturally woven into the story. Since chapters are already written as a series of short scenes, it's never jarring to transition to one, and full flashbacks never interrupt anything else that's going on -- they fit in where there's space and aren't just there to smack you over the head with a lesson and then move on; they're a fully developed scene that moves the story onwards in a broad sense by giving context to the past, and when a specific part of it does come back, it's only the relevant part, and just enough to remind you of the whole scene without stealing away from the plot for a few thousand words.

      On the topic of the scene with the Angler -- I'm genuinely impressed how fun and lovable you made that entire scene. The Angler could so easily be made into an annoying character that you're desperate to have leave the scene, but that wasn't the case here -- even with his clear flaws, he's still just a kid, and he and the Guide have a nice dynamic during their conversation. (That little moment where the Guide is genuinely worried that the Angler will go for his kneecaps? Absolutely hilarious.)

      (And !! I'm surprised you recognized me just from my username, but yeah, I'm the person who does Purity Town! It's so awesome to hear that you enjoy my comic :D)

      Don't apologize for talking about your story, it's always fascinating to hear more about people's worlds and ideas and thought processes. And you have a wonderful day/night as well!

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      1. Mildflower on Chapter 2 Fri 11 Jun 2021 09:18PM UTC

        No need to apologize, I totally get it! (Sorry for my own late response, I haven't had the chance to check Ao3 until today :()

         

        Stop it with your kind comments my dude, I will cry. I've always been a fan of worldbuilding both through the lens of the characters and from the ground-up. Instead of establishing a setting and then dropping characters into it, I tried to introduce readers to the characters first, and then let their knowledge- or in some cases, lack of knowledge- about the world flesh it out. (Ex: we get details about how the Underworld works because its culture still shapes the way the Guide thinks today, or how the "war front" mentioned by the Nurse gave me the chance to establish a faraway conflict while getting to the root of why her mental slinkies are so tangled.) It's so hard to deliver information about a setting in a way that isn't heavy-handed or EXPOSITION(tm)-y, but it certainly helps that the Guide is basically a character whose purpose revolves around exposition-ing for the Hero. Cue (hopefully) in-character-sounding dialogue that doubles as exposition!! (and I think I picked up on that in the first pages of Purity Town, too.)

         

        As for how I differentiated the POVs/dialogue, if you're interested in hearing- I tried to figure out what kind of writing style would best mirror the kind of thought processes each character had, because if there's anything different POVs are good for in writing it's getting the chance to try out a new writing style! 

         

        The Guide's was probably the easiest to pin down, for me. He's a very formal character, both externally and internally, so I wrote everything to the best of my abilities in formal language. I wanted him to sound sort of like a textbook when he speaks, almost inhuman, so his dialogue is never as clipped as often as the other character's are, and when he explains things the sentences fall out of his mouth like soldiers marching in a perfect line. (He's also the only character who can think and talk at the same time! Spooky.) The Arms Dealer puts up an aggressive, private front, but that shields a softer/humorous core underneath, so I pulled inspiration from Jim Butcher/Neil Gaiman and tried writing his with more action sequences and comedy. Which also serves as a nice break from the Guide’s, who tends to ruminate and mope about in inaction. 

         

        The Hero on the other hand I had/still have a lot of trouble writing, but I pinned them down as a philosophical, conflicted character on the inside- even if they’re not always showing it because of how playful they are- so I made them ask a lot of difficult moral questions without ever reaching a solid conclusion. They've got the questions, but very few answers. (I was also really surprised by how many people seemed to like them? They’re the hardest character for me to write, like truly ridiculously turbohard levels of difficulty, but I’m glad their characterization turned out okay. Most of what I did with them wasn't even intentional!)

         

        Enough about my story, though- can I talk about yours? Because it’s fantastic. I was just re-reading the earliest pages where the Guide is writing about the history of the world, and there’s already a lot to unpack, which I think says something insane about your ability as an artist. 

         

        The colors you used while he narrates stand out to me in particular. The dark blues in the first panels as we see the Dryad race go into extinction is really haunting and beautiful, you can FEEL the sorrow of the sole survivor as she's turned away from the screen (and the shot of the small, but waxing moon. Which is just excellent foreshadowing.) Then all of the colour bleeds out of the world as the Guide and his brother(?) grow up in a war-torn… country? World?

         

        And then it returns again with a different color as life and vitality start to return and Terraria recovers in the aftermath of the battle, before we finally get a full-colour shot of the Guide in the present. The difference between the monochromatic and full colour schemes just does an excellent job of setting different moods and highlighting that the history the Guide was documenting was a Different Time, far-removed from the present. It's great! You put so much detail into each panel, and I can't believe how much you managed to tell about the world and its characters in just a few short pages. Each one is rich with detail and every panel shows off several different aspects of the world at once. It's a spectacular introduction that gives just enough about the setting for an easy, streamlined reading experience, but leaves enough intrigue to keep them coming back for more.

         

        (Especially about the Dryad, from what I've seen she seems like a mysterious, powerful figure.)

         

        I'm not sure how intentional the use of the demon eye hitting the window pane in page 3, but that also gives off the impression that the Guide is being watched by something inhuman. Whether this is symbolically representative of the weight of his role, if it's literal foreshadowing relating to Cthulhu/the eye of Cthulhu, or if it was just a throwaway detail I'm reading too far into--it just stood out to me.

         

        Your art is great. Your writing is great, and so are your interpretations of the characters (I love your Guide and Arms Dealer so much, dude, you did just as good of a job at humanizing everyone as I did). The content people have made for the game is great, and so are the different spins people have put on the bare-bones lore we got. Thanks again for your response/comments, and for your lovely comic. I can't wait to see more!

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        1. Ariibees on Chapter 2 Thu 17 Jun 2021 05:57AM UTC

          Well, what more of the world you've shown so far in this fic has been super interesting! I always love seeing the worldbuilding in fics, and you've done a good job at introducing details in a very organic way -- everything is mentioned with a reason for being there so it doesn't feel overwhelming, and at the same time it helps to flesh out the world. It's so much fun to see authors flex their creativity and develop their universes. There was one webcomic kickstarter I supported a while back that actually had a worldbuilding book ("written by" one of the comic characters, who was a professor) as one of the rewards, which was absolutely delightful. Of course I read fanfics for the characters and plot and actual writing quality, but there are still times where I can't help but think "how about we diverge from the plot and get a 10k word essay on the very specific throwaway detail in chapter 25, because that's the coolest idea I've ever heard, what in the heck?" But yeah! The way you expand upon the world here is very comfortable to read, especially because those details often wrap right back into how characters are feeling -- turning back to your note at the start of the chapter, memorizing all the exact names and the likes aren't nearly as so important as understanding, in a general sense, how things fit in in the context of the story.

          (And for what it's worth, the first few pages of Purity Town are like that because I sort of figured -- either people who are reading this are so invested in Terraria lore/NPCs that they've already eaten every scrap of official lore and character content, or they don't have the faintest idea about it outside of the actual game. Since I've been playing fast and loose with the lore anyway, I decided I'd give myself three pages to set up the basic "500 years ago Cthulhu came into town and now he's coming back but there's a prophecy so it's cool" so that everyone has the gist of things, and then I'll hit the ground running.)

          And at the same time the way that the Guide *does* give his exposition of the world in this fic is really interesting, because you still get to see that line of what he does vs. does not know (or at least can't apply to action). Being able to recite any Wikipedia article doesn't help much in actually...living out those experiences. (And again- I'm a sucker for neat worldbuilding, so even if the Guide is going to ramble on about the history of trees- that's just the coolest! You go, you funky little emotionally inept man.)

          On to POVs: I find the Guide's in-game dialogue to be...really, really weird. There's something off about it, different comments have entirely different tones, and some of them barely make sense without context that is not given. His dialogue has a very specific and off way of speech. But! You do an incredible job at still making his voice come through here. He still has a stiff and stilted/off way of talking even when the situation is objectively pretty casual (and it honestly makes the moments he snaps like at the very end of the chapter absolutely hilarious). I also didn't notice that he was the only character who can think and talk at the same time, but now that you've pointed it out and I've had an obligatory flashback to French class where we had to give two-minute presentations in French without access to a clock or any preparation, that /is/ spooky, and I'm properly horrified from it.

          I think it also helps that in comparing the Guide and Arms Dealer's POVs they both keep bringing up their pasts and comparing an experience then to now, but in the Arms Dealer's case it's focused on colorful experiences and the places he's lived and the people he's met, while the Guide's reminiscences are more about bureaucracy and protocol. And of course that sort of bleeds into each of their respective scenes, like you mentioned about writing the Arms Dealer's scenes with more action/comedy, but it also makes the quiet moments with the Arms Dealer and the Nurse together because they're so much more weighty and touching. The Guide's interactions with other characters in the present day are forced and awkward and he's so cut off from everyone else -- the Arms Dealer and the Nurse instead have those moments, and things they genuinely care about (whether it be each other, and the innate care for other human beings, or even just the Arms Dealer and his door and the Angler with his fishing rod). It's the navigating lies and omissions and manipulation on the Guide's side vs. just having a heart to heart.

          And yes! Your writing of the hero is just wonderful. They're just so naturally fun and likable, the exact person you want to be friends with even while their internal thoughts show how much they're struggling to shoulder their new position and do what has to be done, no matter how they feel about it (the scene with the Guide visually begging for them to just...not acknowledge that he's the monster they fought in Hell? aaa). You can feel how they've matured and hardened as things have changed even if they're still clearly the same person, and despite all that they're working through they can still push it down and decide that no matter how the pieces fall they'll still try to serve the common good. It's so interesting to hear what people decide "makes" a hero. I like to take the Rango approach in my stories -- maybe you're not the best, maybe you're not really a hero at all, or maybe fate is helping you out. Who knows? Ultimately, you can be, say, the 60th most likely to save the world, but you got lucky and everything fell into just the right place and when push comes to shove you can make the *choice* to be the hero, and you can save the day. After that, who knows? Go live your life. Be whoever you want to be once you've won the battle. But here, the hero has to actively struggle with the knowledge that as they become more and more powerful, they now have to repress and hold themselves back, and can no longer just be a regular person- well. It's a Lot. Goodness. (And the way that the Guide just kind of acknowledges it and that 'knowing little smile' ??????? Wow")

          Admittedly the first page is a lot of blue because I'm a sucker for night scenes. But I guess the thing that always got me about the Moon Lord boss fight is the void effect -- *everything* goes dark, even the sunflowers that are always glowing faintly at night, save for the harsh light surrounding Moon Lord. My first Terraria world had a bunch of sunflowers right where I first fought Moon Lord, and since I played through the game initially pretty much blind, it left an impact, I guess haha.

          But I'm !! Very surprised and happy to see people picking up on the details and coloring choices. Ultimately the level of detail in the page depends on how much time I have that week to work on it (and my own ability to actually draw what I'm envisioning), and as I finish the chapters I plan to take some time go back and redraw panels/fix backgrounds where I'm not happy with them, but it still makes me so, so happy that people are seeing, like, color theory and going "Hey! Hey now!" Like, I draw the Arms Dealer with a desaturated color-scheme compared to Chris' very warm highlights, and Chris wears a purple hair tie -- since he's going to be a mage, it's the first inklings of that purple color scheme associated with the Nebula magic set. Of course I still have to balance making things look decent, and I'm not confident enough in drawing a lot of stuff to go crazy (page 2 was redrawn several times just because it was always too hard to clean up and ink), but especially there on page 2 starting out in grayscale and shifting to color? Bam, you freakin' /got/ it, it's all about the world slowly recovering, even if it can't reach the power it originally had before most magic was sealed away in the Underworld.

          And the demon eye does have a few purposes for popping in! Some plot-related, some more metaphorical. Sort of unintentionally I've ended up associated eyes with the Guide, but, well, I'm a sucker for scopophobia character art, haha. It was going to happen whether I meant it or not.

          (Also? The fact that you like the Arms Dealer and Guide in Purity Town? Give *yourself* credit for that one, because while their relationship was always going to be messy in Purity Town, their meeting in chapter 2 in the original script was a lot shorter. The Arms Dealer was originally going to just shoulder-check the Guide and throw a few rude gestures at him, and then have a proper confrontation later. I literally read the first chapter of this fic, said "Hey! The Arms Dealer already has plot relevance in Purity Town, but I think I've been underestimating him as a character because he's actually really cool and interesting? Time to expand his scene in chapter 2 and his subsequent appearances!", and now I'm at the point where he's become a far more major character in the later script than originally intended.)

          So here's a thanks to you as well for producing this lovely content, fun comment replies, and for enjoying my comic! I can't wait to see more of your writing as well :D

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