Comment on Whiskers and Moon-Eyes

  1. Rachel (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sun 29 Nov 2015 08:50AM UTC

    Wow, this was so good! The first chapter was so fun and witty, you captured their dialogue prefectly. I literally laughed out loud at 'She is not the one on a leash, Light-kun.' Hahahaha. I enjoyed this so much!

     

    I could really see this playing out as part of the series, they were so in character! The dialogue/monologs in Death Note are one of my favorite features of the series, and something I find myself missing in a lot of fanfictions. This was so refreshing to read, and I thought you really did the character's justice! Especially L's dry wit.

    But, holy wow that ending was a punch to the gut. Light's break down in the end left me in tears. Just, that was so powerful.

    I'm particularly in love with the concept of cats not blinking around someone they don't trust. I see so much of L in that, and I had never considered it before! Just gahhh! That was really great symbolism, and I highly appreciate it!

    But, now, let's get down to business. Chapter 2. Let me start by saying, you are a GENIUS! What an incredible play on dialogue techniques. THIS is one of my favorite things EVER. I didn't see it coming, but when I realized what was happening I kid you not, I literally hooted with excitement. BECAUSE YES. YES YES. *AGGRESSIVELY APPLAUSES*

    I don't just love that you brought the story full circle and ended where you began, but you gave me exactly all the answers I wanted to questions I had when reading the first chapter. I can't stress enough how genius this technique is.

     

    I really loved the simple dialogue of chapter one because it was fast paced and fun, but I also wondered what the characters were thinking internally as all of this happened. I formed my own perspective as it went on, because you gave the reader ample ability to interpret. It was interactive and enjoyable to ponder, but I always wonder how it might be interpreted by the author as well.

    Then you returned to that scene and literally filled in the blanks, and I just *flails happily* YES! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED. I got to see your interpretation and compare it to my own. I really appreciated having the opportunity to explore both perspectives in such a unique way. Both scenes were the same, but the reading experiences were entirely different. So cool!

    And if that weren't enough awesome as it is, let's discuss the juxtaposition of Light's private conversation with Irene at the end versus L's in the beginning. Both of them revealing their true feelings for the other man. There is a *special* kind of burn that comes from reading the utter despair that Light is caught in, realizing that he's already too late....THEN flashing forward to L who is so ironically HOPEFUL about his feelings for Light despite the nature of their relationship. AND JUST....THIS IS SATAN'S WORK. So beautiful, but so painful. I'm not okay.

     

    Finally, let me say, it's not just cool that your story came full circle, but the fact that ch 1 began in the middle and finished at the end of the story, while chapter 2 presented the actual beginning and then ended in the middle. Talk about timeline mind fucks. It's built like a figure 8. What fun! I think you have a lot of potential in creating stories with unique storytelling techniques, and coming from a reader who enjoys technical analysis, I really applaud you and look forward to your other works!

     

    Thank you!

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    1. starria on Chapter 1 Mon 30 Nov 2015 09:35AM UTC

      I JUST. AH. THANK YOU?? THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL THING TO COME ACROSS AND YOU LITERALLY MADE MY DAY. Thank you for taking the time to read and to write out your comment; I really really appreciate it!!! <3 I am still attempting to play it cool and not giggle excitedly. I'm so happy you enjoyed it and shared it with me. So firstly, YES. I am so happy you liked the "She is not the one on a leash, Light-kun" line, because that was just too irresistible; I couldn't not have it in there when it came into my head.

      That is literally one of the most reassuring and complimentary things I could hope to hear; thank you so much. ;-; It's so important to me, personally, to have them be perceived as in-character because it means I captured them properly and managed to get them to cooperate with me.

      I'm so happy (in an odd, but sympathetic way) to hear that. That really means something if I was able to get to your guts, in that sense. So thank you for sharing that with me.

      YES. AAaaaah!! Thank you for pointing that out; I'm so happy to hear that it was noticed and appreciated it ;-;

      :DDDDD (That's my face currently because I'm too happy and overwhelmed to sensibly reply)

       

      AH! YES! I'm very glad to hear that; that's one of the biggest advantages of using the bare-bones style: everyone can read into it what they will (to an extent) and can come up with your own interpretation, which is just as important as what the author's trying to bring to it.

      I'm so happy that I was able to give you what you wanted!! :D It's always cool to see contrast and comparison between various interpretations (especially since there's no such thing as a 'correct' interpretation, especially when it comes to such things as fanfiction, I think).

      I'll try to not be too giddy that you referred to this as Satan's work but the matter of the fact is I am way too wickedly pleased to hear that, and that's exactly what I had been trying to accomplish, so thank you for enduring it. <3

      Thank you again for leaving such a wonderful comment in my inbox; and I'm sorry if my reply got lengthy or cumbersome at any point, I just wanted to address the majority of the things that you brought up because literally this is what makes me want to keep writing and makes me feel good about my interpretation of the characters and really thank you so much. I'm always happy to read various approaches to stories (especially technical ones), but this was very special to me, so thank you again. <3

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