Comment on And don't eat your best friend

  1. Luna just wants to enjoy her youth. Also she wants to experience thing she never would otherwise. It's not like she's abandoning her duties, she just wants some fun. She's able to hear the plights of the people who normally would never be able to get close to her. Its reconnaissance Ravus.

    Cor is denying while Prompto's just vibing in his dad's hugs, the touch starved boy he is. Of course, when they all find out about his and Luna's adventures, Regis and Clarus go "like father like son" and Cor nearly screams

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    1. Luna is going to be a much better Oracle if she knows what people need, if Ravus can't see it that's his problem. Ravus thinks this is just some kind of elaborate set of excuses she makes to keep sneaking out. Prompto thinks Ravus is just too grouchy to have like, desires and feelings about the outside world

      Regis talks fondly of what kind of little punk Cor used to be, and how much Prompto takes from him. Cor is outraged. Clarus adds that well, the kid is actually a lot more polite than Cor used to be at his age, so they are improving with the generations. Cor says he hopes Gladio will improve on his father's mold by not getting a receding hairline at 30

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      1. Prompto then gets the idea that Ravus needs a hobby, so he and Luna set off to try and find him one. It doesn't end well. Though Ravus does end up trusting Prompto's motivations a little more (not that he'll admit that). They become a bit more amicable, but he still doesn't like Prompto taking Luna out on these trips (though they know he wouldn't say no to some of the snacks they bring back for him, like a pretzel or something). Ravus's only response "fuck they know my weakness."

        Cor is suffering from embarrassment as Regis calls up both Cid and Weskham and is like "he finally admitted it, our boy Cor is all grown up!" and decides to prank Clarus for the manners comment. This starts a prank war (just like the old days), and this time the kids get involved.

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        1. Ravus's favorite hobbies are seething and brooding. But maybe they can also get him to read a book or something. But nothing that involves the outsides, he doesn't see why he should ever leave his room, let alone to go mingle with people in such dangerous places.

          Prompto sides with Cor. Noctis and Gladio are on Regis's and Clarus's side. Ignis is the wild card who will side with whoever he thinks most deserves the prank, while also acting as if he is way above this

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          1. Ravus is even picky about his books. Its poetry, Tenebraen history, and classical literature only for this man.

            The prank war eventually encompasses the citadel. Everyone gets involved (Cid ends up mailing a glitterbomb to Regis). It ends in a ceasefire, as they can't get any work done with all the pranks going on

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            1. Ravus is so damn pretentious. Prompto thinks he should just unwind already. Have a nap maybe

              Cor enlists all the Glaives to support him with the prank war. They will help in exchange for bat Prompto quality time. Noctis and Regis have no qualms about using magic to make everyone's lives harder

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              1. Prompto is 90% sure Ravus needs a spa day, maybe a good nap or three. A self care day. Too bad you'd have to knock him out to get him to do anything like that. He's allergic to self care.

                The Glaives don't even need Cor to enlist them (for the most part), they just go "which side is Prompto on?" and join (there's some who join Regis's side, but the bulk of the glaives are on their side, the Crownsguard mostly join the other side (even if it means going against Cor) because there's like a rivalry between the guard and the glaives so they'll take the opportunity. Regis and Noctis are known to warp in and warp out just to leave a cloud of ultra fine glitter all over their target (or in Noctis's preference, waterballoons filled with slime).

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                1. Ravus is convinced he can live entirely off of spite and anger and he won't accept any critique on this. Sleep is for the weak

                  Noctis glitter bombed Ignis at one point and for punishment Ignis put vegetables in all his food for a month. He managed to sneak chunk of carrots even in fried chicken. That was how Noctis decided Ignis was off limits and not worth trying to prank.

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                  1. Luna hunts him down like once a week and nails him with a sleep spell then drags him to bed and makes him sleep for at least twelve hours. Anyone who tries to make fun of him for it or interfere gets sleep spelled too. Pryna and Umbra lay on him to make sure he stays down.

                    Ignis is master prankster, if Weskham ever returned to the Citadel, the two would win the prank war on their own side, just a two man side and would demolish all the competition.

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                    1. Such cruelty, being forced to sleep. Ravus hates it. He can't believe he is being forced to take care of himself.

                      If Weskham returned not only would he destroy everyone else in the prank war, but he also would have so much incriminating material on Regis, Clarus and Cor to blackmail them with. They'd better not annoy him if they don't want him to tell their sons all the bullshit they did when they were young.

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                      1. Lunafreya sees his whining, and each time he does it, she hides the coffee maker. It becomes a second war, though this one more of a capture the flag with the coffee maker. What's strange is the sides on this one. There's Ravus (who actually has Gentiana on his side (she loves coffee, but Lunafreya is both a tea and a coffee person, so it's a coffee vs tea reason for her)), Luna (with Umbra), and Prompto (with Pryna, they just want to cause some chaos, so they steal the filters).

                        Weskham is like, the wine aunt of the Chocobros 1.0, shows up completely ready to take no prisoners and cause some trouble for the sheer enjoyment of it (also because he heard Clarus telling Gladio some very....polished....tales of his youth (i.e. completely editing out the fact that he fell on his face while trying to flirt with a woman, got scared by a fish that jumped onto the boat while Regis was fishing, made the dumb mistake of trying to spook Cor, etc.)

                        The kids are rolling with laughter by the end of it.

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                        1. Ravus finds the coffee machine and finally he can get his coffee, but then finds that all the actual coffee has been stolen and he can't make any. Pryna buried it in the garden somewhere. Ravus can have fun looking for it now

                          Weskham is going to have the time of his life. He knows everything. He can tell Gladio how his parents actually met (it involved Clarus getting kabedon'ed), he can tell Noctis about what his father used to do (broke all the rules he now tries to enforce on Noctis), he can tell Prompto how Cor acted as a teen (skipped class half the time). The dads (and not-dad-Cor) are never going to recover, but they have no way to embarrass Weskham back. If they complain too much Weskham threatens to call Cid

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                          1. I don't even think they have ebony in Tenebrae, so Ravus has to find a way to get it smuggled in (Gentiana totally has a stash). Around this time Prompto shows Luna bubble tea and she loves it, so the two of them sip their drinks and watch as a caffeine deprived Ravus tries to find the energy to move (and Luna hits him with another sleep spell right after and they drag him back to his room).

                            Cid doesn't even need to be called, he hears the roast session and practically warps to the Citadel himself. He tells the kids how each of their dads have (at one point or another) called him dad, how Cor was a gangly giraffe when he hit a growth spurt and fell all over himself on their road trip, how Regis's first attempt at facial hair went (badly), and how Clarus tried to act all tough and cool during his first time drinking and threw up after the first sip because he tried to chug whiskey because he saw someone do it (they didn't it was a plain thing of soda, he just thought it was alcoholic).

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                            1. Prompto can slurp his tea while Ravus murderously looks at him, envious one of them has their preferred beverage. Prompto points out tea also has caffeine, technically. Ravus refuses anything that isn't coffee, and especially anything that is sweet or fruit flavored or has bubbles.

                              The dads' reputation will never recover from these hits. They can no longer keep their children under control. Regis tries to tell Noctis he has to do something and Noctis is like mmm no, don't you have so much skipped duties to catch up with since you were thirteen?

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                              1. Ravus hates tea, but he gets even more livid when Prompto suggests a latte or hot chocolate (one because it's barely coffee, the other he considers a children's drink). Prompto shots him in the head with one of the bubbles for that. He's too caffiene deprived to catch Prompto and they both know it.

                                The dads lament the loss of their rep, though Prompto actually becomes more at ease with Cor. Learning about those things made Cor a bit more approachable in his eyes. That Cor had once had similar problems makes him not feel so alone.

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                                1. Ravus will only accept tea if it contains high quantities of alcohol too. Luna is like ok edgelord, I think you need a nice calming herbal tea.

                                  Cor looks so much more human now in Prompto's eyes. He's a real person who did real people things, not just the Marshal. Cor likes that Prompto is more at ease with him but he does wish it hadn't come at the cost of his dignity. Weskham is like you're welcome kid

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                                  1. Prompto hears that Ravus puts x type of alcohol in it and goes "eww, why that one? Y is so much better." Cue both Fleuret siblings looking at him and his underage self has to explain how tf he knows what either one tastes like. (AKA, fourteen year old Prompto did a dumb and got drunk bc he had no parental supervision, an unlocked liquor cabinet, and a bad moment of self control; it started fine and ended with the couch in the kitchen (turns out drunk Prompto likes to redecorate). He begs them never to tell Cor (spoiler alert: he finds out.)

                                    Regis and Clarus are so jealous that Cor got the better end result of Weskham's roast session, they've got to deal with two boys who don't take them seriously anymore and Cor gets the sunshine kid!? They both think it's unfair.

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                                    1. Prompto considers himself such an expert on alcohol. He's basically a grown up, he knows drinks. Cor thinks he absolutely should not know drinks, he wants explanations, also Prompto isn't allowed to drink until he's 40 now

                                      It really is unfair. Prompto is such a sweet boy, so good to his dad. Meanwhile Noctis is deep into his moody teen phase and has no respect for fatherly authority anymore. Gladio isn't so bad, his sense of duty is too strong for him to misbehave, but Clarus has to wonder how is it possible that Gladio is always off somewhere chasing girls and yet never stays with any long enough to bring her home

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                                      1. Even better, Prompto is one of those drunks who doesn't look drunk until he's drank enough alcohol. So in essentially he's the girl from that one video (I can't find it but I think it's a tik tok or something) where she has a little bottle of fireball in her mouth, someone yells at her to put it down, and she chugs the entire thing, only for someone to complain that she's already had "two glasses of wine, [and] fifteen cosmos" before someone else asks how she's "not lit." So yeah, Gladio demands a drinking contest (he loses) and Prompto may only be beat out by Ignis for alcohol tolerance among the boys.

                                        Prompto is a sweet boy. He just has several of his own issues from the Argentums' style of "raising" him that lead to him trying to behave as best as possible (most of the time). There are times Cor practically begs him to act out.

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                                        1. Prompto is that guy who is small and you think he'll fall over after a beer but then just keeps chugging and chugging and makes you wonder where is he even putting all of it. If he reaches drunk drunk levels he'll straight up blackout, but if he doesn't get there he's the one who gets all the blackmail material. He brings his camera to parties and has so many pictures to torture the guys with the next day.

                                          Cor was a nightmare as a teenager and he doesn't get why Prompto is so well behaved. Won't he ignore the rules? Stay out after curfew? Anything? The worst thing Prompto ever did was skipping training once because he was saving some kittens and he apologized 300 times for it

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                                          1. Prompto doesn't look or act like the stereotypical drunk, he just acts weird and everyone just assumes he's a light weight who had a single drink. Nope he put down more than Gladio and still going, he just does weird things like move furniture, climb on cabinets, stuff like that. He has his camera, but the question later becomes "where did it end up?" because drunk Prompto hid it somewhere.

                                            Cor and the others think Prompto is well behaved. But here's the thing, he's really not. Not all the time at least. He just doesn't get caught. Growing up mostly neglected meant he never knew the consequences for breaking a rule, but the idea of it scared him a lot, so if he had to break a rule, he got good at avoiding being caught. Especially if he'd get punished more than others due to his theoretical birthplace. Prompto does less fights, more chaotic good crimes.

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                                            1. Drunk Prompto makes a treasure hunt for his sober self with the camera being the prize. Sober Prompto wonders what the fuck is wrong with him when he drinks

                                              Prompto has mastered the art of sneaking around. He has lying skills no one would ever expect from him, and he knows how to come and go unnoticed after curfew. One day Noctis was complaining about how he couldn't do something and Prompto was just like uh, do it anyways? And proceeded to come up with a whole plan on how to run off from Noctis's retinue in five minutes and Noctis was both impressed but also very concerned

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                                              1. Drunk Prompto is like the "Trickster" drunk. Plays pranks or does things purely to confuse people. It's how Prompto's house keys ended up in Noctis's freezer.

                                                Prompto's got an entire arsenal of tricks up his sleeve, all learned through the art of "no parents to tell me no." Lockpicking, hotwiring, parkour, all the sorts of tricker stuff. Combined with his knowledge of basically "how to adult despite being a literal child" it's no wonder he managed to keep it under wraps. When others find out about these they're like "who raised you?" And Prompto replies "No one :D"

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                                                1. Drunk Prompto is happy to prank himself as well. No one is safe from him. He will go and replace all of Noctis's shirts with all of Gladio's (all three of them) and viceversa just to see if they notice.

                                                  Prompto raised himself, and he did so to be competent at everything. The others figure out he's basically been on his own his whole life and the parental instincts are even stronger now. Cor will father him so hard. Prompto's friends are starting to get pretty fatherly too

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                                                  1. Drunk Prompto also acts a bit braver, almost to the point of forgetting his previous anxiety triggers (i.e. Drunk Prompto can, albiet goofily, talk to Regis with not even a stutter, almost like Regis was just any regular friend's dad), he's also simultaneously more and less clumsy (he can do handstands, cartwheels, backflips etc, but will walk into the nearest wall). Drunk Prompto very nearly restarts the Citadel prank war.

                                                    Prompto's self reliance probably makes him chafe a little under the newfound parental instincts of those around him. Like "guys, what's the big deal? I'm fine, I did what I had to, no biggie." Meanwhile the Citadel raised Noct, Iggy, and Gladio, who all grew up with people monitoring their entire childhoods, can't comprehend why Prompto would dislike someone taking care of him. They grew up with people caring for them in one way or another near constantly, had family of all sorts and no shortage of affection from at least someone. Cor is kicking himself and wanting to find the Argentums and kick them as well, because he knew he shouldn't have let Prompto go to someone else, and now this kid had to grow up and be an adult before he hit double digits not out of duty, but out of necessity.

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                                                    1. Ignis comes to the conclusion that Prompto should not be allowed to drink again. Noctis, on the other hand, thinks the whole thing was hilarious and Prompto should get drunk more. Like yes the pranks on him were annoying but Prompto also pranked a lot of other people so Noctis wants to see it happen again

                                                      Noctis spent his whole life having someone watch him constantly, be it his dad or his nanny or Ignis or anyone else, and at first he used to think Prompto's normal life would be cool, because wow having actual privacy sounds great. But then he realized Prompto isn't alone for a few hours a day while his parents are at work, he's alone always, and that's not good. Meanwhile Prompto used to think it would be nice if his parents had been around a little more, but then when others start taking care of him he feels so claustrophobic. He isn't a kid, he can do some things on his own! And everyone else is like dude you do realize that you are supposed to have people do things for you, right?

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                                                      1. Cor very much agrees with Ignis, and Regis and Clarus agree on the principle (despite being hypocrites who not only drank underage, but got Cor drunk during their roadtrip bc the kid was trying it for the first time and was obviously not going to know his limit.) Gladio is in the middle, sure he found it funny, but the fact that Prompto can pack that much alcohol away is bad news for his liver.

                                                        It's very much a sort of "you don't know what you have until you meet someone without" situation for Noctis (and the other guys too). Once they come to a realization of why Prompto can and does do what he does, all of his other "quirks" (i.e. blushing at compliments, hiding being hurt, pretty much 75% of his interactions with people) are all because he didn't grow up with any sort of affection, so of course he's going to recoil at this unfamiliar situation. Prompto probably brushes it off at first as "they're just worried bc I'm Noct's friend" and unlike the guys, he knows it's not supposed to be like this, but he just always accepted it as "this is normal for other kids, other kids are x,y,z, not you." and always assumed it was how the world worked. He really gets a wakeup call when the Nox Fleuret siblings hear about this whole situation, and even Ravus is concerned. Like "if he's upset about something other than the Caelums or Luna's safety, then it's probably something to listen to."

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                                                        1. Regis and Clarus can never let their sons know how much they used to drink. Ever. Gladio tries to tell Prompto that drinking too much is bad for your liver and Prompto replies that too much sodium is bad for your blood pressure but that isn't stopping Gladio from eating his weight in Cup Noodles

                                                          Luna thinks Prompto's situation really is fucked up. Like she also has things she envied at first, like his freedom to go around as he pleased, but even if she had to stay in the palace most of the time she still had her brother, Gentiana, the dogs, and the servants who cared about her. She is willing to find Prompto's parents herself and demand to know what they were thinking, and the one thing more intimidating than Lucian royalty mad at you may be the Oracle mad at you

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                                                          1. Ignis watches Prompto and Galdio's exchange and just goes "please just eat healthy, both of you. I already have to take care of Noctis."

                                                            Luna immediately asks Gentiana if spear fishing is a thing, because if it is, she has some hunting to do, namely a certain couple. Pryna hears and is all too ready to join her Oracle. Ravus can't do much, Empire and all, but he does remind Luna of the several ways to break bones, and to wear gloves when she goes. Can't have the Oracle traced back to a murder after all.

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                                                            1. Ignis can't possible take care of everyone's diet. He's like a single parent of three

                                                              Ravus can offer her so much clean up advice. Meanwhile Umbra and Pryna are here to track people down. Luna is like that meme that goes *cocks gun* I'm a healer but

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                                                              1. Iggy's like, looking between them going "you two have to take care of yourselves, or else I'll tell Iris and let her deal with the two of you." Prompto promises her he doesn't actually drink that much, but he won't do it again (until he's actually legal). Gladio tells his sister he'll cut back, but he really won't.

                                                                Ravus is just like "wear a jacket, don't get sick, be back in the manor by 6, look both ways, don't talk to strangers."
                                                                Luna meanwhile is just:
                                                                .
                                                                Except it's more of "a very well deserved crime"

                                                                Last Edited Sun 24 Oct 2021 08:12PM UTC

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                                                                1. The only thing keeping Prompto and Gladio from surviving off of unhealthy food are Ignis's disapproval and Iris's disappointment. Meanwhile Noctis is daring Gladio to beat his record of Cup Noodles eaten in a row

                                                                  Ravus is so proud of his sister for committing her first murders. She's so grown up. Now Luna just has to figure out how to clean blood off her trident and then she's good to go

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                                                                  1. Prompto's so weirded out by the idea of someone being concerned for him, so it's just like "??? Tf is this and why do I kind of like it?"

                                                                    Luna rather quickly learns the wonders of peroxide, and the art of disguise. She cant go out and get away with murder when she's in her bright white clothes now can she

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                                                                    1. Prompto has no idea how to handle it but he is not sure he dislikes it. Not sure he likes it either but it's not bad

                                                                      Luna can go out to do murder in all black and pretend she is a Lucian assassin sent to take out political enemies. Noctis would support her

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                                                                      1. He's like that puppy that sees snow for the first time and is unsure whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.

                                                                        Luna just takes one of the thrifted clothes Prompto and her had been dying, probably like black clothes with bleach tiedye, and like, a thing of spray hair dye. Perfectly disguised.

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                                                                        1. Prompto.exe has stopped working. Ignis takes it as a sign he should be cared for even more.

                                                                          Luna is going to look so great as she sneaks around to do murder. She can add it to the list of her skills.

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                                                                          1. It makes the whole situation even more confusing because Prompto just doesn't know what to do with genuine affection.

                                                                            Luna knows how to slay, both literal and fashionable

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                                                                            1. People decide they will get Prompto used to affection whether he likes it or not. They will shower him in it until the poor boy is so overwhelmed

                                                                              Everyone thinks Ravus is the scary Nox Fleuret, but Ravus is mostly just grumpy about the universe in general. Sure, he's a great swordsman, but everyone expects it when he gets pissed off. Luna will take you by surprise instead

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                                                                              1. It's like socializing a feral cat. It's better for him overall, but it won't be easy.

                                                                                The real reason Luna is held in Fenestala all the time. Not because she's the Oracle (well partially that), but because she's just straight up deadly.

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                                                                                1. Like a feral cat, you have to distract him food. If Prompto is too busy eating he won't spook the second someone tries to be thoughtful

                                                                                  If Luna was left free she would be hunting down MTs. Ravus can't be the High Commander if his sister is running around throwing tridents at his soldiers

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                                                                                  1. Like, you gotta be gentle but firm if you want to be successful at it. Show care but don't smother.

                                                                                    The real reason the empire attacked the manor, they knew the Sylva's children would be far less willing to take this lying down, luna in particular, if they grew up without the empire's hands on control

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                                                                                    1. Let Prompto sniff your hand first before approaching him

                                                                                      The Empire tried to put them under control now they have to deal with Luna being angry at them and Ravus's eternal grumpiness

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                                                                                      1. Approach him slowly, no loud noises.

                                                                                        It's a pyrrhic victory for the empire. They got what they wanted, but it had side effects that almost made it not worth it. Especially when the Oracle repeatedly sneaks out of their custody, even killing a pair of "random" civilians, but always confidently gets back into the manor and acts like nothing happened. They saw the crowdsurfing video Luna, they know what's been going on.

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                                                                                        1. The Emperor is pressuring Ravus to keep his sister under better control. Ravus says yes, will do, but also makes sure to slip Luna a note telling her when he will be far off in Niflheim and won't be able to intervene if she does something. Ardyn is in equal parts amused by the chaos and annoyed that his plans aren't going smoothly

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                                                                                          1. Just straight up plausible deniability for Ravus. Ardyn loves chaos to an extent, but he's just like "okay reign it in puppets, we've got a script to keep to"

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                                                                                            1. In Ardyn's plan Luna is supposed to give Noctis the required amount of help and then die quietly, he's not liking this rebellious Luna. Like sure seeing the Oracle murdering people was fun but he's got a divine masterplan to enact here

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                                                                                              1. He's just like "you're supposed to be all shut up in the manor, isolated and lonely, why must you rebel?"

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                                                                                                1. Luna is done with behaving, she now wants to run free

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                                                                                                  1. Luna has chosen chaos.

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