Comment on A New Path

  1. Kasan_Soulblade on Chapter 7 Tue 07 Jun 2022 06:06AM UTC

    Of auctions aka chapter 7 (8 and 9 will be along later in the month as soon as I can)

    Ah, the joy of class dispute, fun times. I’m thinking Anabel would have loved this… there was an artist, who got forwarded 30k for artistic fees, he sent along with a blank piece of canvas as “art” and titled it “Take the money and run”.

    The worst of the patrons and their attitudes would be known as having mastered the social art of “sucking”, a trait admired by black holds, Kirby, and vacuums and very little else. And in my humble opinion, only Kirby can carry the look and do it well.

     

    Funny how Looker’s more optimistic than Anabel here, really you’d think he was the rookie almost. Wonder if he’s an art nerd in his off time.

    Now did anabel get that hit in when she jabbed him, because it’d feel more real if he blocked her, with a snack tray or something or just shuffled back a little and made her overbalance, else there’d be a moment of “ouch” on his side that he’s not really acknowledging.

    At least Proton’s not wearing a bright red r on his shirt like he was during the takeover plot in SS/HG.

    Alright, so saw a small setting opportunity here. When “the golbats threw open the door”… it’s small but if you show how they did so. After all gol’s don’t have arms, but wings, and their feet don’t seem equipped to handle anything like knobs. So, did they “gust” the doors down? Body slam them like flying battering rams? Chew through with their fangs? Unscrew them with the fangs then sweep in with an attack of some sorts? I’m honestly a bit shocked they didn’t sheer through the windows (ala the birds)… This comes up from time to time in all your fighting scenes but this one was the easiest to offer a suggestion for.

    Anyways sometimes going that extra bit of description can really set a tone. And flying glass and swarming bats would knock even the seasoned off their toes.

    If it was the Origin’s take over the tower swagger, I’m sorry but just no, hopefully not that bad borderline drunk toddling they did in that episode.

    Snorts, I will give the Rocket grunt a point for humor…

    Wait the Rat’ are tearing into the walls with paintings? I’m imagining a few grunts freaking out and directing them away from specific walls in the background here.

    I suspect the no-mon policy is going to be revisited by the survivors, those ok enough to think that is.

    I’d guess less mimic gang and more two heads of the same beast having a snit fit bout who is getting what and garning whaever favor they can get out of it… while throwing the less successful head under the bus.

    Also known as… I’m sure Ash’s spirit ‘mon is a tauros... with a lead-in like that this is going to go bad.

    Actually, if they don’t notice him Ash booking it might draw off a few guards or ‘mon, so not utterly useless…

    Now my vote, old-fashioned servant entrance… nah we’re going the stereotypical hawk eye route. Well, Ash’s small enough to swing it… maybe.. if he could send ‘chu that’s an option.

    Talk to Gio, Looker, his breathing offends multiple legends depending on the verse he’s from…

    So wondering why looker doesn’t just snatch a few security guard’s pokemon and adlib something here…

    It’s interesting to see Looker in this light, his tone shift from Anabel, to the old woman, to the kid, it’s a subtle shift in word choice in how he talks and even thinks when addressing them that shows he has a rather soft side to him. And you handled it with a nice touch

    Ya know if Ash had shared and cared Looker would have had a hint as to what Rocket was really after and be royally panicking right now… wait with Anabel’s talents and ‘chu approaching… perhaps we’ll get that scenario after that.

    At least Anabel didn't shoot back with the “you're only distinguished dear” salvo…

    Now considering that Ash already did something stupid in sending his signature ‘mon forward to see how he can “help” when being directly ordered no too… Looker’ s holding onto his optimism by a hair, and that hair’s name is delusion. Or perhaps encroaching senility…

    Also if this is the state of the police world no wonder Nanu is such a royal mess.

    It’s weird, how fixated Proton is in being “above” the masses (like Red in Haunter Hunted) but really he’s utterly henpecked under his Boss and only a sheep with a carnivorous slant. Also, he’s shockingly direct/brash all things considered. He’s throwing away millions for a piece of tech that could have been discreetly studied and duplicated and the millions gotten if separate plots were tossed together all at once.

    Now I’m imagining the low grunts as eager children given a stick and a bunch of old people pinatas.

    Dashing… proton? Ego thy name is Proton.

    Though if he plays his cards right Bianca might fall for it, until a certain friend of her takes a gander at Proton, does an aura read, and demands a bath after…

    So the residential legend is getting a spiderman guilt complex and the idea of not being in more than one place at once might kinda ping off… because legends might be able to do so…

    Knowing ash’s luck getting an answer might be the worst thing possible to ever happen. Though considering whose approaching the wrong legend might be hearing this and get a mite offended.

    Ummm Ash, blunt damage can be as lethal as stabbing… Looker didn’t mention this in his training yet… oh geeze… also crippling/disabling via taking out an eye… ouch… and the added burn damage. The grunt’s not going to be doing nothing more than scream when the damage sinks in.

    I’ll admit, while I get some of the back and forth of the fight and forcing Ash to kill really distinguishes this Ash from canon, I’m surprised he didn’t try to fumble a more humane solution or balk at the last moment since he’s barely scraping by in combat classes before this point and is hardly hardened at this point. The change feels a bit rushed, but consider the setting might be the only way for Ash to keep functioning.

    How Ash manged not to ruin the guys clothes with the boiling water will be one of life’s little mysteries.

    But considering who is coming, dressing as a Rocket seems a very stupid idea.

    You’re telling me Ash is Mario/bowsered a rabid raticate… this can only end badly. If brutally. Looks like the local legend got a hint and backed off of the fake Rocket.

    You can hear Petrov’s sarcasm universes away, my vote is Looker is going to start with skinning and make boiling water seem a nice ending to his upbraiding.

    Nah the grunts blind in one eye and possibly short a face, but not dead, yet. There’s a bit of a modern batman complaint here, he might not be killing them but he’s leaving them in an infinitely worse state before the encounter, where disabled is the best option.

    And here’s hoping Ash really thinks and starts spilling the metaphorical beans when he hears that name. and it looks like he’s brightening at least in that regard…

    Hmm I’m sensing a Domino Proton catfight/territorial dispute in the cards… Though with Domino finding proton when he’s down we’ll see how much fight he has in him in the next chapter I suppose…

    Overall this was a fun chapter, thanks for sharing.

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    1. TheCouchEffect on Chapter 7 Tue 07 Jun 2022 06:18PM UTC

      Ah, thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

      Thank you for the tips! I'll do my best to add those little details to any scenes moving forward. While I generally have the broad strokes of scenes down, it's the little details that I struggle with sometimes. I'm getting a bit better at it but it's something I need to stay aware of.

      As far as Looker goes, he is just struggling to maintain his sanity. If there was ever a man who need a stressball and a vacation, it would be Looker. The poor man has so much on his plate it's a wonder he's still sane, let alone as gentle as he is.

      To answer your question, though, Team Rocket took the Pokeballs off of what was left of security and hid them so the guests couldn't use them.

      As for Proton? I'm glad you noticed! Proton is a hypocrite of the highest order. Add in his natural cruelty and disdain for everyone else and you've got a dangerous criminal. Only downside is his skills are *almost* as good as he thinks they are. And unfortunately, his Grunts take after him.

      As for Ash, his whole world is shattering. If he had been in the right state of mind, he wouldn't have gone that far. With adrenaline rushing through him and being so close to death, though, his natural inhibitions against violence were lowered. Which is only going to get worse as time goes on, unfortunately.

      Right now, Ash is still in that phase where he's not thinking things through or really understanding that his actions have consequences. As time goes on and the illusion shatters, he'll fully understand.

      Once again, thank you so much for the review and I hope that I answered your questions!

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