so, what I did was when I got to the end, I scrolled back up and read it all over again. let's take this in parts and please forgive me if something doesn't make sense or is redundant:
setting the mood first and foremost like adrien is actually stepping into something preternatural, like the house exists in some dimensional space, both the house in his mind and the house it has become, both true at once, that's just stunning. it's so fitting then, how marinette's phone call is grainy, like he's truly crossing over into something bigger than himself. it's all the cumulative stories of his childhood, and his parents, and everything between that. something no one else can follow him into.
OH and how marinette reveals their new way of life: "birthdays don’t happen until we’re together"
but that's the tragedy, is that they DO happen. regardless of who is or isn't there. WHICH WE THEN SEE! jesus christ sedate me.
(and the decision to do the back and forth..... beautiful formatting. it's almost honestly creating poetry with the end lines. the "too little too late" GETS me.)
and then, of course, the past, which is just sickening! from the bat, you've described something already in the middle of adrien's story: he pretends to still be asleep, waiting and waiting for Emilie to come in. it's sweet, it's something children do, but children with abusive and/or complicated childhoods? it's a deep-seated want grown from that give-and-take relationship. TWENTY minutes. and it passes like nothing, because her swooping in would make it a Good Day. this fic stole my kneecaps I think.
and it's that slow breakdown of his character throughout his day that's so relatable: he assesses himself as a teenager, he still tries and holds out hope that it'll be a Good Day, until the sliver of warmth Nathalie brings is like everything to him. he wishes he could hug her?!!! it's such a clawing for any affection on that day, and any of it would have made it better for him....
and then the Good Day hope turning into an Okay Day. I feel I cant even speak too much on that segment as it's all so stunning and poignant and just. exactly how it feels. I started crying around that point. and you did the "parents arguing and trying to hide it in front of their kid and they THINK they're being subtle, or maybe they think their kid isn't clever enough to sus out the real meaning, but the kid is. they are." SO well.
it's that fucking back and forth!!! and later when he's in the garden with Emilie, it's FINE now, it's okay that yesterday was pretty much earth-shattering and scary and surreal. is that just a price he has to pay with his parents? he can do it. if it's for her. "He melted into her in the warm October air, the sweet smell of fresh flowers making the world feel alive, alive, alive." <- going insane btw
and he wants light *so bad*. he wants it on the day he returns. it's all over his memories!!! there's something about how distantly adrien talks about the vandalism, the graffiti, the condemned sign, how other people treat this house; like it's almost disrespectful. "That’s all well and good. He’s fine with it, honestly." I have a feeling he is LYING !!!
and then ending it with full fleshing out the house as something living and breathing, this horrifying personification, it's all SO october. it's all SO spooky. but terrifyingly real and the house cuts him but they're both bleeding. guts/chews/bleeds/rots/wound/maw. absolutely so thoughtful and stunning.
and back on the "left formatting creating accidental poetry": They’ve jumped through smaller hoops than French realty succession laws / The glass always seemed impenetrable back then, like the rest of the house. It’s not. It’s broken now. it's so very ladynoir fighting and fighting against what seems impossible until they succeed but even with the glass broken now, it's not very much a victory.
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asukiess on Chapter 1 Fri 20 Oct 2023 03:17PM UTC
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