Comment on Vignettes From Yellow - BFA's Interpretation

  1. StallKing on Chapter 2 Tue 26 Dec 2023 01:12AM UTC

    I was intending to translate Undertale Yellow in a fanfic format, basically putting Clover's adventure giving more personality to him and the characters. But I honestly didn't know how to translate all the walking around without making things boring. Most of the game outside fights is simply walking from a place to the next and solving puzzles.
    So I decided to change it. Instead I'll do something similar to what you did here, with the chapter in a format of hangouts with Clover and one or more characters.

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    1. BlackFlagArmada on Chapter 2 Tue 26 Dec 2023 12:08PM UTC

      Doing vignettes is the right call. Novelizations of games usually fall flat because massive portions of games are, well, games. Trying to write it out is boring to read and write. However, a series of character vignettes in rough order - approaching Dalv, a date with Dalv, leaving Dalv, approaching Martlet, etc... would be better, even if it isn't tight writing (a lot of "and then this happened" would be necessary).

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      1. StallKing on Chapter 2 Tue 26 Dec 2023 12:33PM UTC

        Yeah, I'm mostly lost on where to start. And how to split things.
        Like, a single multi-chapter work where each chapter is a different, or a multi-work series where each work focus on a different character? I could see myself going with either.
        I do want it to (kinda) have a beginning, middle, and end, though. (Whether the end is a happy ending for Clover, or the sacrifice ending, is still up do debate)
        I have a few rough ideas for each character. A few light hearted (like drawing with Dalv, or playing around with Starlo and the Fesity Five) and some heavier (mostly with Ceroba). Martlet is an interesting character that can have both heavy and light hearted conversations.

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        1. BlackFlagArmada on Chapter 2 Tue 26 Dec 2023 02:19PM UTC

          If you want a rough three-act structure, keep a single work. I'd say you'd start with the approach to Dalv.

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          1. StallKing on Chapter 2 Tue 26 Dec 2023 02:32PM UTC

            Yeah, this is probably the best approach.

            Also, I just realized how hard Dalv is to write. We barely interact with the guy. I wish there was a little more to work on. He kinda reminds me of Napstablook in how awkward they are, though Dalv seems a little less anxious.
            But the only things I know about Dalv is, he likes to draw child's books. He likes corn (and I believe the corn he plants in the ruins came from the Starlo's family's farm). He plays the organ (apparently he's not very good at it). And his best friends are a broom and a baloon with a drawed face.

            I guess a hangout with him could be something like Clover help him fix the cabin in Snowdin he's going to move in. Him teaching Clover to draw, or play something. Artwork from the author seems to indicate that Clover plays the harmonica (The cowboy plays the harmonica. How original)

            I might start with Martlet instead since she seems easier to write.

            Last Edited Tue 26 Dec 2023 02:33PM UTC

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            1. BlackFlagArmada on Chapter 2 Tue 26 Dec 2023 06:15PM UTC

              I turned Glyde into a semi-major character in a bizarre work. When you're given something like Dalv, you color in between the points. You have A, T, and Z. You can now fill in BCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRS UVWXYZ as you wish.

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