Comment on cardboard crown (jack kelly, a life)

  1. Efstitt on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Aug 2024 11:00PM UTC

    Love the opening statement—it sounds like Francis’ voice, and sets a tone of a kid who knows how to count and knows what he thinks.

    The idea of his parents being a little older is a new take! Just curious about your choice on that. So, they were married for about 15 years before Jack was born?

    “Voices scraping through the dark” yum

    Does the reference to a polygraph hint at familiarity with criminal activity? Now I need to read about the history of polygraphs. 😂

    “Tarped skin over his knuckles” wow

    “Stars that spun into his eyes” yes this is lovely. And, a nice foreshadowing of Jack’s love affair with the sky?

    Also, I love the physical hints of Meggie working up the nerve to leave. Pausing her work, the damp temples… I am curious about her decision not to take Jack with her. Will we learn more about that?

    You’re a really good writer! You are remarkable at setting a tone with very few words. This will be a favorite fic, I can tell.

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    1. stars_and_sunflowers on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Aug 2024 11:50PM UTC

      i actually accidentally screwed up my timeline in several places, and then i realized that this works well. 😅 we’ll say they were married around 14 years, and there’s more there that i want to get into later — tentative plans on meggie resurfacing?

      and y’know what, the polygraph wasn’t invented till 1921, but yes, it was a hint at criminal activity! i’m amazed that you saw that.

      so. my personal headcanon has always been that she went to work at a brothel (i think you wrote her — or jack’s mom — that way too!) but i started writing her and realized she was too compassionate to do that to her family. all that to say that we will get into what actually happened to her later. and i think she thought that jack would be safer with rory than with her (at least rory had some financial stability, plus the apartment). but of course this is all going to figure into jack’s mental state while he grows up.

      THANK YOU!! 💛💛💛

      Last Edited Thu 22 Aug 2024 12:48AM UTC

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