Not the biggest sunflower fan (not one of those extreme haters either) but mann this is so sweet I love it :3 I don’t have much criticism but I’ll try to give some feedback. “Mari asked jokingly” could be shortened to “Mari joked” instead of just giving information the reader would’ve already known. The dialogue tag (in my opinion) “asked” mostly works if you don’t wanna have repetition in words, but just adding verbs or adjectives to dialogue tags can often be unnecessary. Another thing I’d recommend would be to use a more consistent past tense. “Basil hesitantly sits down sits down in front of Mari” should be “Basil hesitantly say down in front of Mari”
That’s all my advice :] pretty sweet and nice to read
Awhh glad you thought it was sweet! And yes I have such the hardest time writing both present and past tense together that it doesn’t make sense😭 thank you so much for the feedback! I’m glad you liked it !<3
Comment on Whispers of Young Love
Rinnniirri1767 on Chapter 1 Sat 12 Oct 2024 10:01AM UTC
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Starily224 on Chapter 1 Sat 12 Oct 2024 03:54PM UTC
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