Comment on Sunset Partings of Sunrise Cliffsides

  1. Definitely an Idoit

    Hmmm… for the chapter titles… Music? Physics? Maybe if I stare at it longer I’ll figure it out.

    Also, enjoyable as always, but it seems like you wrote it while tired. For example:

    In the first sentence, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with “shines”:

    “Noah fiddled around with his flute for a while, feeling it burning hot in his grasp and its shines in the spatterings of daylight reflecting a vibrant maroon.”

    In the middle:

    “‘Alpha is to me as N is to you: an inviolable, unforgettable series of regrets born and died in Aionios.’ Alvis said, an eerie tranquility to their tone.”
    Maybe you need to add a word, or change “died” to “dead”.

    And also, in the block quote following that, there’s a random 1 preceding it.

    Make sure you’re getting enough rest!

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    1. physics terms -- correct!!

      ahh shit im sorry

      try bad headache + motion sickness starting like midday yesterday lol
      ill clean up what ya mentioned. thanks sm!!!

      -

      okay most everything should be fixed. yell at me if it's not though. <33
      NO IDEA where the 1 came from -- it was not there in the original file and i remain wholeheartedly confused (eradicated now)

      but like i said: thank you so much for holding me accountable lmao. i am human (barely) and a good re-read of this chapter reminds me of that haha.
      chalk it up to a shaky upload and i'll be back with flowers and a better chapter next week. promise!

      Last Edited Wed 19 Mar 2025 04:26AM UTC

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      1. Definitely an Idoit

        No worries! “Gone” might not be the perfect word, but no need to be a perfectionist.

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        1. yeah I need sleep

          took me a good 30 minutes to figure out what “gone” was referring to (the errors in prose i think)

          but also you don’t have to be shy either: see something, say something and all that
          there’s nothing you can say short of pure, malicious ad hominem that’s going to offend me. :)

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      2. Give them a cookie.

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        1. yes yes yes meritocracy and all

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          1. Indeed

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