The Strange, Smutty Traditions of SMH
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Samwell Men's Hockey team has desperately bungled a game, and no one is happy with their performance, least of all Coaches Hall and Murray (and Jack, who is beating himself up for his lack of leadership, of course). The Coaches make it clear in their post-game chewing out of the team that they will be run into the ground running suicides in their practices for the foreseeable future because of their performance, and as punishment/a chance for atonement for Jack, they resurrect an SMH tradition that gives Jack an unconventional chance to help his team out and earn their respect.
“Every minute that Jack lasts is one less minute on your drill,” Hall said. “If you try to heckle or help him in any way, that’s five minutes added to the drill. If he cums in under five minutes, that’s five minutes added to the drill.”
Bitty froze in place as understanding set in. He watched as Murray retrieved a bottle of lube from the duffel and handed it to Coach Hall, then pulled a stopwatch from his pocket and hung it around his neck. Bitty looked around the room again, hoping to see some sign as to how he was supposed to behave in this incomprehensible situation.
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- Part 1 of The Strange, Smutty Traditions of SMH
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Ransom and Holster's connection is legendary, and it's made them excellent captains for Samwell Men's Hockey. On a night when they are disastrously un-synced, they lead their team into a stunning defeat. And per the secret traditions of SMH, they must endure the smutty challenge set by the coaches to prove themselves once more and spare the team as much misery in practice as possible.
“Gentlemen, you know how this works. You know that we are going to put you through hell after a…” he scowled, “game like that. You boys played like shit, true, actual donkey shit. It’s fair to say that your captains let you down tonight in a serious way.”
Nearly everyone tried to glance discreetly at their captains to see how they were handling this comment, but there’s nothing discrete about close to twenty men looking even momentarily in your direction.
Series
- Part 2 of The Strange, Smutty Traditions of SMH