Everything I could want but Nothing I could have
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Dean Winchester doesn't pray (except for when he does) by Pained_heart
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
05 Sep 2023
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Summary
There are two things Dean Winchester knows for sure, one, Bert and Ernie are gay, and two, Cas is not gonna die a virgin. Seeing Cas all flustered and hyperventilating in that brothel shouldn't have been as adorable as it was but Dean couldn't help it, he also couldn't help the twang of jealousy that he felt flare up in his chest for Chastity getting to be the one to devirginize his angel.
It was the slip that was the problem, something Dean never wanted anyone to hear, least of all Cas. But now it's out there and lets just say Cas definitely isn't gonna die a virgin.
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Dean may be living the apple pie life that Sam wanted for him with Lisa and Ben, but that doesn't stop him from thinking about a certain Angel, and so he prays. It's stupid, and weird and he only does it once behind Lisa's back because what is she going to think about him praying to the angel that abandoned him in his time of need when she's right there and has been since he showed up on her doorstep after losing Sammy to the cage. But one night he can't help himself, even if Cas never responds.
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It's purgatory, Dean and Cas get separated and Dean prays. Dean prays in a way he hasn't in a long time but now he's lost his mom, he's lost Jack, hell he's even lost Benny, he refuses to lose Cas too especially not the way they left things, so he prays all the words he's too much of a coward to say to his angel's face hoping he isn't too late for Cas to hear them. But what good are words without actions to back them up and once they're back in the bunker alone together Dean needs to show Cas what he actually means to him.
I got the idea for this fic after I heard the Panic! at the Disco song Middle of a breakup and knew it was about Destiel during their divorce era.
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