don't know where you are right now
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He finally starts to think back on Maddie's worried face when she told him about it, and he thinks that maybe Maddie knew before he did that he was sick.
Maybe she knew before he did that he'd get the urge to do something like this. Maybe she knew that he wouldn't know how to stop.
If Buck weren't so tired, he might have teared up a little when he imagined the worried look in his big sister's eyes.
(Or, Buck self-harms. He never does figure out how to stop.)
Series
- Part 1 of don't know where you are right now
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He met someone once, years ago with matching scars and haunted eyes who had told him, "You either get better, or you die, Evan. There's no in between." He never saw her again after that, and he's never gathered the courage to look her up and find out which path she took. He's scared to die, that much he knows.
But, he thinks he's scared to get better, too. Because, if he doesn't feel this anymore, if he isn't like this anymore, then what is he?
(Or, someone finds out.)
Series
- Part 2 of don't know where you are right now
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How did nobody notice?
A harsh sob tears from his throat and he throws his arms around Buck, tucking his face in his neck and holding on as tightly as he dares. He apologizes through his tears, though he's not sure if his words are coherent, and if they are, that Buck knows what he's apologizing for.
Buck holds him back just as tightly, Eddie isn't sure where his trembling ends and Buck's begins.
(Or, Eddie's POV.)
Series
- Part 3 of don't know where you are right now