the mental and emotional turmoil of those gay firefighters
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Buck wants to go to poker, but he’s no good at it. He needs someone to make sure he doesn’t blow all his money. Enter Eddie Diaz, poker god, with his kid at a friend’s house all weekend, leaving him with nothing to do. Why not go out with his best friend for the night?
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- Part 3 of buddie poker dates
- Part 1 of the mental and emotional turmoil of those gay firefighters
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So, Buck is…not fine, but relatively, given all the shit he’s been through, he is. Fine, that is.
Except he isn’t. He isn’t, because every time that he eats or cooks meat and he sees a blood vessel, he has to leave the room to puke. He isn’t, because any time he’s at Bobby and Athena’s and Athena offers him a glass of red wine, he declines and gets all queasy. He isn’t, because he hasn’t been able to have ketchup in over two years because of what it reminds him of. He isn’t, because the taste of the blood of someone you love isn’t something you forget.
or, When Eddie got shot, Buck found out what his blood tastes like, and that has lasting effects.
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“And now you’re questioning what happiness even is.”
It’s blunt. Dr. Copeland is always straight to the point with him. It keeps him from being humorous.
“What if that’s what he really meant?” Buck asks, sounding insecure, and he is. He’s been feeling off lately. He’s been feeling like there might be something wrong with him, more than what he already knows.
“Buck, what’s going on?” Dr. Copeland asks. Buck’s never made it easy getting into his brain, even when he is being open and honest. Now isn’t going to be any different.
“What do you know about PTSD?” Buck asks, a single tear falling from his eye. He’s fucked up in the head.
or, Buck knows the sound of Eddie's footsteps and the taste of Eddie's blood, but not the sound of Natalia's voice (aka the Buck therapy fic).
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Cathartic Vulnerability of the Glass Closet by serendipitouswasteland
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
31 Oct 2025
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When something is cathartic, it brings about a relief of strong emotions. The concept of vulnerability being cathartic appears counter-intuitive. Vulnerability and catharsis together should be such, yet it truly embodies something far more profound. Its is the relief that comes from laying yourself bare to another human being in such an emotional way and receiving only love in return that brings about cathartic vulnerability. In this moment, that is what Buck and Eddie share as their lips intertwine and bodies press together. The closet glass that has been surrounding them for a near decade shatters with the crash, leaving them spread open in honesty and truth for the years to come.
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Eddie has known for a while what Buck truly means to him, and it is terrifyingly glorious. Buck has been a mess, as always, making Eddie gloriously terrified for whatever it is they must face next. In particular, how Buck is going to react to a confession of feelings on multiple levels.
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